#castletown.musing

   No matter , it’s not that as if Zelda cares. She takes a deep breath in , and then another out , sticking the flashlight upright in the wet dirt before reaching to pull off her boots & socks. They’re discarded , tossed to the side , and despite the way the winter air nips at her skin , it feels better to stand barefoot out in the open.

   Because the thing is , there’s a connection that Zelda has to this forest. She doesn’t know what , nor does she know why , but she isn’t about to pass it up for her own basic needs. Hell , these may as well be her own basic needs.

  The jacket & sweater she wears is soon to follow , tossed to the ground like it’s nothing. Now she only stands in a band tee & long-sleeved undershirt with her sweatpants , and she undoes the bun in her hair , dark locks already soaked.

   And now . . . there is only one more thing she must do. 

   She arrived here with a sword. And she picks up that sword , dragging it out with her , it feeling heavy in her hand but somehow , not foreign , and she reaches back to pick up the flashlight.

   And she shuts it off.

   She will only be able to get her answers if she submits herself to what she can’t see. Some may call it stupid , but she knows - if anything - she must go with her gut. There is nothing she can trust other than her subconscious at this point , and her subconscious tells her to surrender. So of course , she must.

   And then she takes the first step , shivering at the cold and maybe a bit fearful of what lies before her. Her heartbeat quickens with every movement , thoughts racing through her head as she remembers a few things - one , she didn’t tell Link that she was leaving and where she was going. They’d probably be worried sick. Two , she cancelled band practice over this , or at least let Finn , Aroma , & Myde know that she wasn’t going to make it.

   And three . . . if this is all for nothing , this will probably be the biggest mistake in Zelda’s entire LIFE. And she already feels like a whole of a failure , like she isn’t doing enough. But is this the answer ?? 

   Her brow furrows at the thought , and her hands hug her body as they continue to step through the woods. And then this is where that fear begins to settle in - most of the people who disappear in the forest like this don’t come out at all , or not after a few days , and that’s when they’re in broad daylight , instead of the wee hours of the morning like she. Is that the fate she’ll meet , for being so stupid ??

   She has people that would be devastated . . .

   . . . And where is she even going , anyway ??

   Maybe it’s the underlying fear. Maybe it’s her nerves. But after what feels like thirty minutes of walking , it’s a small clearing she strolls into , the wet moss soft under her feet. And then she begins to sob , taking the sword in its scabbard and hugging it close to her body.

   ❝ Who am I even kidding . . . ❞ Her voice is in nothing but a whisper , and she knows nobody can hear her but herself. Nothing is happening - NOTHING is happening , and if this is how the night will go , then she’s done nothing but show how much of a complete and utter fool she is.

   And then she draws her attention to the back of her right hand , holding it with her left and growing frustrated. ❝ Come on , come ON ! You want to work any other time !! Why not now ?! ❞ Because normally , in instances like these , there’s BURNING - a burning that she doesn’t find painful , but sears into her skin with the triple triangle pattern under her knuckles. She holds her hand tightly , as if that’ll do anything , but it’s in that moment when she breaks , and she tosses the sword to the ground and collapses.

   Shakes of sobs echo from her lips as all emotions of fear , apprehension , frustration , and anger unleash - Zelda’s shoulders shake , and her face falls into her hands as she screams out in the open , ❝ You have been giving me signs !! Signs that I have paid attention to and tried to decipher - and - and - and now NOTHING ?! I’m now to believe it’s NOTHING ?! ❞

   And then , her head falls in between her knees as she stares into the green & brown of the earth beneath. Maybe it’s me , she thinks to herself. Maybe I was looking for something that wasn’t there. And I’m only disappointing myself. 

   It’s defeat.

   But she doesn’t think she has any choice but to accept it.

   She shivers & freezes in the cold , and she knows maybe it’s best to head back to her car , but she’s too tired. Too angry at herself. Too exhausted. She instead grabs the sword and holds it close , like a safety blanket , and finds herself laying on the ground. The rain hits her hard , pounding onto her skin , and there’s a final whisper of , ❝ There must be something wrong with me. ❞ 

   Bottom lip bitten down , she huddles up into a fetal position and closes her eyes , maybe wondering if the earth will claw up and pull her in with it. 

    Silence . . .

          Silence . . .

                 Silence . . .

    And there’s a sudden wisp of a noise , and her eyes shoot open , sitting up straight as sudden , a pink , winged ball of light floats in front of her face.

    Zelda’s brow furrows ; that . . . wasn’t here before , was it ?? Or is she dreaming ?? Lips pressed together , she extends her hand forward slowly near the creature ( ? )

    ❝ Hello - ❞

   And of course , just like that , suddenly the creature is darting off , flying to the west. And Zelda finds herself standing up , not bothering to take the sword with her as she calls out , ❝ Hey - Hey , wait ! ❞

   Her pace quickens and she prays that she doesn’t lose sight of the little pink . . . fairy , yes , FAIRY sounds right , and she continues to call out to it with , ❝ I promise - I won’t hurt you ; maybe you can slow down ?? Please ! ❞ But then she feels stupid , wondering if fairies can even understand her words. 

    And the fairy’s quick , too ; it makes short & sharp turns that Zelda has to keep up with , and the intern-turned-guitarist finds herself even navigating the forest’s many obstacles as she continues running. It’s like a labyrinth , she thinks to herself , but it’s not long after such a thought that she notices the rain has stopped , the air has grown . . . warmer , but the forest has grown thicker & brighter & fireflies surround her every move. 

   She stops at a clearing , surrounded by nothing but small trees and open , large & hollowed out wooden logs that an entire human being can walk through - but there’s no fairy in sight. And suddenly , as she looks around , her shoulders slump in defeat. ❝ I . . . I lost her , didn’t I ?? ❞ Zelda asks herself , and a hand runs through her wet hair as she closes her eyes & furrows her brow in frustration.

   But in that moment in yet ANOTHER accepted defeat , she hears another noise. A continues noise . . .

   . . . Music . . . but a melody that she’s heard before , somewhere , and her eyes open as she turns in the sound’s direction. 

   She takes a step closer , and then another follows , and then another follows , and she steps towards one of the logs on the far left before realizing the music has grown quieter. Two more remain , so she walks slowly towards the one directly next to it , and once again , it grows quieter. Bottom lip bitten & Zelda’s curiosity leads her to walk towards the third , far right log . . . and there’s the music , growing LOUDER , and Zelda’s pace quickens as she takes a few steps through -

   Only . . . to be met with another clearing. But the music is still playing , and of course , now she has no choice but to follow it. She repeats the same pattern , walking through the next hollowed out log ( this time towards the north , in the far left log ) , and then finding another ( and in that one , she exits towards the far right again. ) She continues to go straight towards the next two clears , and then one far left turn and one more far right , and then . . . it’s clear.

   A meadow stands in front of her , the sun shining through the beautiful canopies in the trees , and the music pleasantly reaches Zelda’s ears to the point where success in her navigation brings a SMILE to her face. But then there’s a howling noise , and she suddenly finds two grey wolves popping up from the thick brush , a scream leaving her throat before she darts into the only possible exit , now finding herself in a hedge maze. 

   She turns right , turning the only possible corner afterwards before finding herself falling into a pool of water ; and once she tries to swim and crawl up the other side , there’s suddenly another scream & snort and a pig-like monster charges towards her , and Zelda only does what she can do : submerge herself under the water until his back is turned , and then quickly crawl up and dart in the opposite direction.

    . . . But that alerts another pig monster , and he chases after her , and she finds another in a long , hallway like clearing that she sprints to avoid before bare feet run up moss-covered stairs , and she nearly collapses , out of breath in another clearing. 

   . . . And there are people.

   Two people - one a man clad in the green of the forest , playing a blue instrument upon his lips , and then another in blue & grey & . . .

   ❝ Sheik . . . ❞ She whispers , and she looks down at the grass. That’s Sheik. That’s Sheik. That - That must be her , and then the one clad in green . . . THE MUSIC THEY PLAY , Zelda finds it familiar yet again , and they fall to their knees , squinting as their head begins to pound before they suddenly look back up , and not only are they gone , but the scenery has changed.

   Two people , again , but children . . . again , one clad in green , and another in silks of magenta & white , standing in front of a window. It’s different than the other time ; the marble & stone walls of a castle surround her , and she watches from again , soft grass & a viewer’s perspective.

   But tears are brought to her eyes , and as the girl speaks . . .

            ❛ Oh, I'm sorry! I got carried away with my story and I didn't even properly introduce myself! 

                 I am Zelda, Princess of Hyrule. ❜

   Her bloods runs cold.

   Princess . . . Princess . . .

   Why does that sound so . . . right ??

   And Hyrule sounds so . . . it sounds like home . . .

                              ❛  What is your name?

                                       ..... Link... Strange...it sounds somehow... familiar. ❜

   Her heartbeat POUNDS at record speeds in her chest & she processes the name Link over and over again , thinking of her best friend back in Castle Town and how the young child before the one named Zelda ( that has to be her ; there can be no other way ) must be them. They look exactly like them , only smaller - and - and yet , Zelda feels as if this is something she can’t afford to forget ; can’t afford to not know.

   And she remembers . . . so many years ago , making a pact. And that was the pact that began the legend . . . the legend of . . . the Hero of . . . 

   She takes a deep breath and stands , and she walks away from the children and onto the path of stone in the castle before it leads to another area indoors - the walls stretch and grow higher and she’s met with a long red carpet after a large , three-triangle symbol in the middle of the floor , and when she turns around , LINK - now an adult again - stands in front of her , and then . . .

    There’s Sheik. 

                  ❛ And the other, who holds the Triforce of Wisdom... is the seventh Sage, who is destined to be the leader of them all... ❜

    She takes in a breath , watching as the Sheikah makes motions with their hands and a BLINDING LIGHT , given off by a glowing three-triangle marking , fills the rest of the room. And then when it fades . . .

     ❝ It is I, the Princess of Hyrule, Zelda.❞       ❛  It is I, the Princess of Hyrule, Zelda.❜

   She speaks the words in unison to when the other Zelda does , knowing them by memory , and her stomach twists as her eyes stare the floor.

                     ❛ I apologize for meeting you in disguise, but it was necessary to - ❜

   And it doesn’t impact the scene , no , it keeps rolling , like a movie that hasn’t been paused , but Zelda bites to herself bitterly , ❝ You lied to them . . . ❞ She lied to them. She met them in disguise , SHE deceived them so they believed they were someone else - and it’s now different from now , history repeats itself.

   She takes another breath , voice elevating , ❝ You are LUCKY they even forgave you after that !! You deceived them , you pulled them in every single direction , and they believed you , because you’re YOU , and you threw them into this and they didn’t . . . ❞ A sob escapes her throat as she doubles over , holding her head. ❝ And they didn’t even complain . . . They didn’t even blame you . . . and you lied to them . . . ❞

   Zelda feels sick , sick so much that she sit on the floor and shake her head. ❝ And you STILL allowed yourself to mess things up again - you didn’t wait until it was over , you THREW yourself into danger and then  . . . ❞

   A sniffle , but in that anguish & regret does realization come over her form. ❝ You did . . . what you had to do. To save Hyrule . . . and to save yourself . . . and to help & save them . . . even though you knew you had to lie . . . ❞

   She sits there , lost in her own thoughts as suddenly , as the scene continues , torrents of water begin to pour from the ceiling - and she only realize it when the water levels begin to rise at a faster and faster rate , and Zelda mutters , ❝ N-No , no no no . please , it’s not over - it’s not over - ❞

    And then she’s submerged , the remnants of the Temple of Time gone as she’s surrounded by the waters of the ocean , and the sun shines above her until a shadow - like a ship of sorts - slowly passes above them. And Zelda only has the option to swim to the top , the thoughts of the scene she just witnessed still fresh in her head before she emerges on the surface , and now . . . 

    She’s somewhere different. Somewhere much different. A smaller boat than the one she swore she could’ve seen before - before , it seemed like a pirate ship - floats along the water , and in front of her there are stairs leading into what looks like the ruins of a submerged palace. And despite the fact that she had to swim up onto the surface in order to get here , in now the waters she can stand , and she trudges up the stone staircase and turns the corner to go inside. Because she hears voices & footsteps - someone else is here.

   Inside basically confirms her theory - a BEAUTIFUL yet old interior of a palace stands before her , and her wet , bare feet walk across the old , red velvet rug and lead to a statue. The statue’s moved , revealing a hidden staircase , and Zelda finds herself creeping down that staircase instead of anything else in the castle before a door sits , and when she opens the door . . .

   It’s an old man - in that same , regal red , and then herself & Link once more - only she is caught in a trance , and a piece of a necklace she bears floats into a triangle that misses one. It’s another BLINDING LIGHT like from before , and the pirate captain in front of her , once it fades , is transformed into . . .

    A princess. A princess who that same mark Zelda had witnessed on her own hand , appears on the back of hers.

    And this princess turns , a feeling of confused hopelessness in her eyes as her lips part.

                ❛  My . . . fate . . . ❜ 

   Zelda’s brows once again knit in frustrating once the old man starts to speak again.

                                ❛  You are the true hero of the royal family of Hyrule... the last link in the bloodline. You are Princess Zelda. ❜

   He begins to prattle on about destiny - and all of this SHIT that Zelda remembers being equally as confused as she is angry about - that she is now a servant to this stupid destiny that was long decided for years and years ago. And now , she - a girl who was content being a pirate on the seas like her mother - is subjected to a life she never even wanted or never asked for , and that is a life where evil preys on her to the point where she is coddled and restricted to the sidelines.

   ❝ It’s all bullshit , ❞ she whispers to herself , and she turns her back and moves to walk back up the stairs. ❝ All of it - it’s all bullshit , and it’s all because of this stupid fucking - ❞

   She’s only cut off when she opens the door , and it’s a headache once she realizes it’s grown dark again , and now she’s in a different room. 

         ❛  Accept this now , Midna. I pass it to you . . . ❜

   She hates that she knows this scene - a wounded imp on the ground , a beast that looks too much like Link beside her . . . and then . . . her. 

   She doesn’t want to listen to it - doesn’t want to hear it as the imp begins to float from the ground with herself holding her hand , shouting cries of Link , stop her ! and more as she protest’s to the princess’ actions. And Zelda’s eyes glue shut as she watches herself let go , fading into pieces of light and disappearing out of thin air. 

   And that where she has to turn her back , heading straight for the door - she only stops when she hears Midna speak once more.

                         ❛  Zelda . . . I've taken all that you had to give . . . though I did not want it. ❜

    That voice - it hits a nerve in Zelda like a melancholic CATHARSIS , and the feeling of loneliness & pain & grief that comes with missing someone. She remembers her leaving - leaving after everything is fine - and that anguish turns to energy as she runs down the spiral staircase of the tower , opening the doors and finding herself back in the throne room of the castle.

    But the ruins of the castle surround her , and it’s all gone to shit.

   Things change on a rapid level - first , it’s her form : possessed and grotesque , dueling Link in the openness of the throne room. But Hyrule Castle , overtaken by Ganondorf’s blight , crumbles before her , and Midna fades away into dust. She’s left in an open field , and is nearly run over by Link & herself from this time charging Ganondorf on horseback , her own self holding a bow & arrows of light in her hands.

   She tries to stand , tries to get out of the way , but she hears the ground rumble beneath her , and as she looks up in fear , she sees a train darting in her direction , and she screams in horror before it passes right through her , as if she were a ghost or spirit . . .

   And Link was the conductor - or rather , the engineer. She knows that.

   She doesn’t even have time to collect her breath before the ground caves in underneath , and the yellowed skies & barren lands of Hyrule suddenly change to the bright blue sky with no sight down below , and as she falls , she witnesses beautiful , brightly-colored birds flying throughout the sky , and a blue one catches her , following after a crimson one on which Link rides.

   Maybe she smiles - maybe she gets caught in the moment before she’s knocked off of the bird , and Link reaches for her as she reaches to their form before she’s once again tumbling to the ground. 

                ❛  Oh youth , guided by the servant of the goddess . . . 

                           Unite earth and sky . . .

                                     Bring light to the land . . . ❜

   The song plays in her mind , & she recognizes the voice because she knows it’s hers. And once more does she close her eyes , and surrender herself to her surroundings. She hears the sound of Link’s shouting , an older woman - Impa - whistling a song she’d hear to fall asleep as a child. She remembers the look of herself in a painting , and revealing to Link that she was the incarnation of the goddess Hylia - locking herself away into a century’s slumber and asking them to wake her up as she used to do the same.

   And she doesn’t realize she’s on the ground again until she opens her eyes.

   It’s muddy , it’s open , it’s raining , and the only sounds she hears are the same sounds she heard in the mansion - the crawling in the mud & the sound of lasers and suddenly her heart thumps in her chest once more as she remembers the fear of that moment. 

   She’s frozen in fear before she forces herself to get up , to navigate the dark of the night before she notices she stands in a muddy , white silken dress , golden bracelets , and sandals and she looks in front of her , and suddenly there’s Link , and they’re running through the area as Link fells another guardian and staggers to their feet.

    ❝ Link , save yourself !! Go !! ❞ She calls out to them , the words almost mechanical. ❝ I’ll be fine , don’t worry about me !! ❞

   But they don’t move , even though Zelda shouts , ❝ Run !! ❞ and a guardian stands , that evil blue eye staring at the both of them and threatening to strike them both down. And as the clock ticks faster towars impending doom and that warning sound quickens , Zelda can’t take it anymore.

   She shoves herself in front of Link , and with a scream of desperation , ❝ NO !! ❞ . . .

   Light. Light , showcases by the glowing mark of the Triforce on the back of Zelda’s hand , that cursed power she’d kept trying do desperately over and over again to awaken despite her efforts being for naught.

   The power that she knew she had in her yet struggled to release - and in turn , grew disgusted with it. That power that slumbered in her for all of this time in Castle Town , and she convinced herself she was a failure for failing to unlock it again - just like she did those many years ago. History repeats itself.

    A wave of light overtakes the area , and all guardians are rendered useless.

   Zelda lowers her hand to take a look at the mark , confused. ❝ Was . . . Was that . . . ❞ But then she hears Link collapse behind her , and then she realizes that she’s watching them die all over again. And she rushes to them , cradling their body in her arms as she remembers being in this position , watching as the only person they’ve ever had in this goddess damned lifetime fades away before their eyes , a victim to the cruel fate they were both subjected to.

   ❝ No - No , no , no - not again. No , Link , you’re going to be just fine - this can’t happen again , this is all my fault - this can’t happen again - ❞ And she buries her face into their form , knowing again that they have been here all before. They are witnessing the horrors of the calamity all before. And it will be okay in the end and Link will get up and they hear the sound of the spirit in the sword and the VOICE in side of the sword before they -

   She sits up and open their eyes , and she realizes she’s back in the cold rain in Sarah-Anne’s Wood , and the sword is right by her side. Was that a dream ?? It didn’t feel . . . like a dream . . . But she can only assume.

   It takes a few seconds of thought , before she looks and sees that the dormant mark of the Triforce of Wisdom sits on the back of her right hand. She did it. She got what she wanted. She went into the forest and the forest gave her answers . . .

   And as she got those answers , she realized.

   So now why is she angry ??

   She stands shakily on her two feet , and unexpectedly echoes a scream throughout the forest as she looks up at the sky. A scream that could probably be heard throughout Castle Town , a scream that resonates with the holy power of the Goddess - as the blood of the Goddess runs through her veins.

   ❝ I don’t know who you you are , or who a wretched soul like yours believes yourself to be . . . ❞ The princess seethes , as she stares into the sky. 

   ❝ But I am the PRINCESS ZELDA OF HYRULE , and how dare does the likes of you make me forget that !! How DARE does the likes of you make me forget the truth to who I am !! How DARE does the likes of you pull me from those in which I an INTERTWINED !! ❞

   And she looks down , taking a breath and brushing the wet locks of hair out of her eyes. She takes the sword , beginning to walk back through the forest as the Triforce symbol glows like a beacon on the back of her hand.

   ❝ I . . . am Zelda , Princess of Hyrule. I am Zelda , Princess of Hyrule. I am Zelda , Princess of Hyrule. I am Zelda , Princess of Hyrule. I am - ❞

   Her repetition of the words are like a mantra , to reassure herself that she is who she remembers to be and that she now knows what she must do. 

   She’ll have to get to her car as fast as she can - and then go back home. And then she’ll have to talk to Link , to see if they realize where they truly came from and if they remember everything that Zelda now does.