#casthan

~~    Caspar couldn't move. He hadn't really moved all day. Not on purpose, anyway. He was on autopilot. He hadn't slept, eaten, spoken. Nothing. Not since this note he'd received from the twins. It would make more sense for him to be so devoid had he been busy thinking. Not necessarily about what he had to do, but of anything at all. But he hadn't done any of that either. He knew if he were to think, it would be about nothing other than Ethan. And to think about Ethan while knowing what he had to do eventually was much too hazardous. Before he'd shut down, every scenario that came to mind of how the evening could play out was more terrifying than the one that he imagined prior.

"Meter's running, pal. Telling you for your sake. I'm certainly not complaining.", the taxi driver picked through the silence. Caspar had been sitting in the backseat of the cab outside the restaurant fogging up the window with his breath for almost twenty minutes. Sure, he could've walked. It wasn't that far off from where he stayed, but he couldn't tread this trek alone. Settling for a stranger wasn't something he was above. It cost him a pretty penny but salvaged a bit of his sanity. Unfortunately, however, once the portly man spoke, the barrier Caspar built to protect himself from himself caved in.

Thought after antagonizing thought came pouring in and there was no dodging them now. How was he supposed to act like everything was okay? Ethan couldn't know something was up. How was he supposed to look the most important person in his life right in the eye and purposefully shatter everything they'd worked so hard for? Everything that gave his life meaning?  Was he in the building now? Was he thinking of him while going out on some blind date?

Cas apologized for keeping him and paid the cab driver more than enough. Kicking open the door, he climbed out and crushed the gravel under his shoe with a stiff step. This wasn't a date with Ethan he could get excited about. It made him nauseous thinking about the times that were. Not because he regretted the excitable times they'd shared, but because he was afraid that after tonight they would never come again.

He opened a side of the double doors at the front of the restaurant and unraveled the scarf around his neck as he was greeted with stuffy, hot air. From where he stood, there was no Ethan to be seen so he asked the hostess to lead him to a table for two. Seeing no point in flipping through the menu since he planned on skipping another meal anyway, he asked the waitress for a hot chocolate and waited.

Ethan : watermelon? ?

Ethan : it’s a beyonce joke i hope u got it

Ethan : good thoughts i hope

Caspar: Alredy wanna vomit don't bing up watermelon

Send “✆” for a morning text. 

-> [Sent 8:34 a.m.] Goooooooood morning. Seize the day. Carpe Diem. I had a dream about you.We went sky diving but you pushed me and flew off. I don’t think I died though, so don’t feel bad or anything. 

Send “✉” for a text that wasn’t sent. 

-> [Sent Failed 11:19 p.m.] I’m coming over right now. So just… I don’t even know. Leave the door unlocked. I need to see you. Actually I just really need to talk to you. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.

Send “☎”for a  rushed text. 

-> [Sent 4:57 p.m.] Wen rot or ding is

-> [Sent 4:57 p.m.] SHIt 

Send “ø” for a late night text. 

-> [Sent 3:04 a.m.] I can’t go to sleep even though I’ve stretched all the way to where you used to be. I wish you were here to shove me off. I’d probably be able to shut my brain up if you were here to do it for me. I miss you.

Send “✘”for a  hateful text.

-> [Sent 6:42 p.m. (during Erry)] I hate that douchebag, Ethan. I hate him so fucking much. I want to punch that smug look off his face. How could you be dating him? I thought you were better than that.

-> [Sent 6:50 p.m. (during Erry)]Keep him away from me. If he even looks at me the wrong way I’ll make him bleed. And I’ll hurt you if you try and stop me. 

Send ✉ for an 2 AM text

-> [Sent 2:03 a.m.] I wanna break the animals out of the zoo. Come for back up.

Send ☠ for a threatening text

-> [Sent 9:31 p.m. (Post stabbing- in hospital)] Being with you, I picked up a few things. That should make you think twice about crossing me. Especially after everything you’ve done. I’ll stab you in the back in more ways than one. With the same knife too, how romantic.

Send ❤ for alusty/loving/affectionate text

-> [Sent 12:11 a.m.] Why do I always wanna just kiss you until I’m out of breath? Make fun of me all you want but you’re somehow this mix of cute and sexy that drives me crazy. 

Send ♣ for a drunk text

-> [Sent 11:20 p.m.] Whater you doing

-> [Sent 11:20 p.m.] i ses you over there

Caspar: Bubble butt