denji nodded his head enthusiastically. "i've never been kissed before and i want some practice before i have sex."
"didn't you have a vomit kiss with himeno?" you smirked.
"that doesn't count!"
you couldn't lie, it was a strange request. then again, denji was a strange guy. he was sat on his knees in front of you. there had been a few times you had seen him beg before but never like this. he seemed both unfazed and desperate. a walking contradiction.
"thought you liked girls," you said. "you do know i'm a guy, right?"
"a kiss is a kiss," denji clasped his hands in front of him, head bowed. "please, dude. i'm begging you. i'll do all your chores for a month! just give me a kiss!"
he drove a hard bargain. a month of no chores for a kiss? you would have been a fool to turn that deal down.
"fine," you said after a moment of contemplation. "c'mere."
denji scrambled in front of you. eyes closed, he puckered his lips out to you. his eyes were scrunched together so tightly it looked like it hurt.
you leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. it was so quick and light that he could have missed. he probably did miss it. he blinked his eyes a few times, touched his lips, and stared at you. there were a few beats of silent before he started screaming at you.
"what was that?!"
"a kiss," you leaned back away from him.
"that wasn't a kiss!" he angrily pointed at you. "there was no tongue! no action!"
god he was so laughable. "you never specified what type of kiss. anyway, can you do the dishes? aki asked me to do them yesterday."
denji screamed in frustration before storming off to the kitchen. he kept grumbling to himself how you tricked him and didn't even properly kiss him. you chuckled to yourself at his pain. maybe one day you would give him a proper kiss.
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with or without - robert robertson iii x male reader
warnings: angst, insecurity, implied thoughts of cheating
you weren't sure if you were happy for robert or if you were jealous. on one hand he was finally going to be mecha man again - new suit, new allies, new way to protect torrance. on the other hand he wouldn't have time for you.
don't get it wrong, you were happy for him. seeing him lose his way after losing the astral pulse made your heart ache. no matter how much you stayed by his side, told him that you loved robert and not mecha man, nothing seemed to fill that void in his soul.
then blonde blazer gave him the opportunity to be a hero again. despite the few complications at the start, he seemed to settle in to his role as a dispatcher for sdn. for the first time in months you saw him properly smile.
you supposed it was around this time that the feelings of jealously started creeping in. robert was coming home late, talking about the things he had done with blazer and the things he had done for invisigal. for his first day you had made him a dinner to congratulate him on surviving but by the time he got home, it was already clock cold and he had eaten. robert did appreciate the gesture at least.
the time he got home on his third day was the worst. really you should have counted it as when he got home on the fourth day as it was gone five am when he got in. a night out with the z-team he had said. he had told you it would have been a few drinks for team bonding and then he would come home. you stayed up until who knows when, waiting for robert to walk in and regale you with the antics they had gotten up to.
as the night got darker, you couldn't help but wonder if he was actually out with the team. just the day before he had talked about the film he watched with invisigal - the one you were meant to watch together. those jealous thoughts creeped in quickly, forcing you to doubt the man you had loved for years. they didn't dissipate even as he kissed you in the morning and promised to be back early.
even now, standing in the middle of your living room, surrounded by heroes and reformed villains, you still weren't sure if you were happy for him or jealous. despite him introducing you as his boyfriend and having an arm around you for most of the night, robert didn't seem to focus on you. blonde blazer held his attention for most of the night and when she wasn't talking to him, it was invisigal.
the doubt that had settled in your heart was horrendous. all the memories of robert telling you he loved you couldn't help dissuade them. his hand on your hip felt looser than normal, less secure. it was almost as if it was a sign of your relationship.
no. you were happy for him. this was the best you had seen him in months. even if he was happier with other people and not you. robert had gone through so much tragedy throughout his life, he deserved all the happiness he could get.
you just needed to figure out if it would be with you or someone else.
waterboy wasn't surprised when everyone started laughing at him. he would have laughed too if he didn't know the reality.
"there's no way you're dating the y/n, wet fart boy," laughed flambae. he was keeled over with laughter, resting on prism to not fall over. she was in a similar state. "there's no way a guy like him would want anything to do with a walking puddle like you."
the week was over and everyone was talking about their plans for the weekend. when waterboy had let it slip that he was staying over at his boyfriend's place, the rest of the z-team hadn't believed him. they called him delusional when he mentioned your name.
"yeah," waterboy followed after everyone as they walked out of sdn. "no. he's - we're - i'm his boyfriend."
it sounded more like a question than a statement. it didn't matter as everyone burst into another round of laughter.
"really?" prism alternated between laughing and taking a hit of her vape. "the third ranked hero is your boyfriend? he actually likes being covered in your spit?"
"my power - it's - that's just how it works," waterboy trailed off at the end. he was losing what little confidence he had. a part of him wished that the world would just swallow him up now.
a gust of wind nearly knocked the z-team down. dust and debris swirled around them, blinding them from seeing what just happened. when the air cleared, they saw you - a world-renowned hero - hugging and kissing a man who could barely string two words together.
"hey, babe," you pressed one final kiss to his red cheek. "i missed you. are you ready to go?"
waterboy nodded. "i missed you, too - also."
he waved goodbye to the rest of the z-team as the both of you walked out of the carpark. they could only stare, mouths agape, while they watched you take waterboy in your arms and fly off.
warnings: written on phone, spoilers up to fontaine archon quest (first paragraph)
with lantern rite fast approaching, you had managed to convince neuvillette to celebrate it with you. having been born and raised in liyue, the annual lantern rite celebrations were very dear to you and you tried to attend as many as you could after moving to fontaine. it was harder to go as the years went by, different circumstances stopping you from going home - that time with the flood was especially difficult. this year, however, you managed to make some time to go back to liyue and neuvillette had agreed to accompany you.
the bustling streets and crowded stalls brought back a sense of nostalgia that you had sorely missed. people were making xiao lanterns, ready to release in a few days time. an elderly woman you recognised from childhood was handing out kites to children and adults alike. it was the exact same festivities as when you were last in liyue but it felt different - it felt refreshingly new.
“should we get a dragon kite?” you asked neuvillette as you walked past the woman. your arm was entwined either his, his hand placed gently on top of your arm. “i’m sure the melusines would love them.”
he glanced at the kites on display and frowned. it was almost imperceptible but you saw his lips turn down and his brows furrow. looking at the kite he saw, you chuckled to yourself.
“it doesn’t have to be a rex lapis one,” you said while pulling him closer. “i’m certain there are some non-geo archon kites available.”
there was one. an azure dragon that looked strikingly like osial. no one seemed interested in it, people presumably still upset at his destruction of the harbour. why the old lady had an osial kite, you had no idea but it would probably put a smile on neuvillette’s face at least.
handing the woman the money, you tucked the kite under your free arm and moved to a different stall. thankfully, it was a drinks one with different options ranging from cider lake water to tea from qiaoying village. was that water from the primordial sea?
“lantern rite isn’t all bad,” you said to neuvillette as he read through the menu. “it’s the time to celebrate the new year and new beginnings. plus you get to try new things as well.”
“i hold no animosity to the celebrations itself,” he said after ordering a glass of springvale water (you knew he had been wanting to try that water for a while, so you were happy he had the opportunity now). “it’s the archon i hold issue with.”
neuvillette whispered the last part to you. while he might have been in liyue on holiday with you, he was still the iudex of fontaine and easily recognisable. if someone of importance heard him disrespecting the archon of the nation he was visiting, then it would surely cause issues the both of you could do without.
you knew of his hatred of the archons. when you first started your relationship, neuvillette was very honest in who he was and his role in the world. it was nothing new to you - in fact, you supported his hatred as best as you could. while you held no hatred to the archons yourself, you fully understood his reasons for his own hatred. that’s why you were so grateful that he agreed to come to liyue with you. neuvillette was making a sacrifice for your happiness and you would be sure to return the favour in kind when the opportunity presented itself.
“rex lapis is dead,” you said to him. the vendor passed you both your orders. quietly, you added, “it’s not like you’ll see him here today.”
“osmanthus wine, please.”
neuvillette’s nostrils flared. he grimaced as if the air had turned sour. the hand on your arm turned suddenly possessive.
you looked to your side. if you weren’t mistaken, this was zhongli from wangsheng funeral parlour. while you wouldn’t say you were close friends with him, the both of you were on good enough terms to hold a civil conversation.
“mister zhongli,” you smiled at him. “how nice it is to see you again.”
his eyes flickered over at neuvillette for a brief second, flashing a deep golden colour, before settling back on you. “i hadn’t expected to see you back in liyue harbour for some time. how are you?”
“i’m good,” you exchanged pleasantries briefly, telling him that you were back for the lantern rite celebrations only. “unfortunately, we couldn’t get a lot of time off so we’re only here for the next two days.”
“i’m sorry to hear that,” zhongli gave a sad smile before addressing neuvillette. “and who might you be?”
“his fiancée,” neuvillette said curtly. “i am iudex of fontaine, neuvillette.”
there was no way you were imagining the tension that had suddenly appeared. it was suffocating, like too many layers on a hot summers day. the two men you stood between were glaring at each other. while zhongli was hiding his displeasure fairly well, it felt as if neuvillette was ready to blast him into next year.
“it is a pleasure to meet you, monsieur neuvillette,” zhongli smiled at him before turning his attention back to you. his smile seemed to soften as he said, “you are lucky to have captured such a man like him.”
you weren’t sure if he was saying that to you or neuvillette.
not wanting to suffocate in… whatever that was, you went to pull neuvillette away. “it was nice seeing you again, mister zhongli, but i’d like to show the iudex here some of my childhood favourites.”
you didn’t stay long enough to arrange a proper reunion. in fact, once you started pulling neuvillette away, he took charge and began dragging you as far away from zhongli as possible. his steps were long and fast, as if he couldn’t get away quick enough.
when the both of you reached the other side of the harbour, where the air smelled more of fish and salt than the sweet delicacies you like, neuvillette stopped. he breathed in deeply, to calm himself perhaps, before turning back to you.
“you never said you knew him,” he spat the word like poison. the grimace he wore only deepened as he took another breath. “sovereigns, you smell like him now.”
“and what is your issue with mister zhongli?” you tried to pull your arm from his but his grip only tightened. “i’ve definitely spoke about him before to you, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise that i talked to him.”
he sighed deeply.
if you were an idiot, you wouldn’t have been able to put the pieces together - to see both of their reactions and not reach the logical conclusion. thankfully, you weren’t an idiot.
“zhongli is rex lapis?” you quietly hissed. a few people passing by looked at you before moving on. “how could you tell?”
“he reeks,” neuvillette pulled you close as best as he could with a cup in his other hand. “and his stench has now befallen you. we must get you to a bathhouse as quickly as possible to rid you of his stench.”
you had to stop yourself from making a lewd remark. neuvillette was clearly shaken up. he would never act this way back in fontaine. maybe you had misjudged his anger. it probably ran deeper than you thought.
“ok,” you stepped toward him, closing the gap between you. “let’s go back to the hotel and i’ll wash up. then we can stay in for the rest of the night.”
he faltered. the anger on his face faded ever so slightly. while you had spoken softly, you couldn’t hide the hurt in your eyes.
“perhaps i was too harsh,” said neuvillette as you both walked back to the hotel. “if you wish to stay out to enjoy the festivities, i shall join you. it is our holiday, after all.”
you shook your head. “it’s alright. lantern rite is only just beginning. we’ll have plenty of time tomorrow. and maybe i can wear your spare jacket? to keep zhongli’s smell off me, of course.”
neuvillette kissed your forehead. “of course.”
you wondered how he would react when he found out that you had been drinking buddies with the anemo archon at one point.
if there was a contest for who loved their partner the most, you would easily win it. no one could hold a candle to how much you loved your boyfriend.
yes, his power made him vomit water. and he had as much self-confidence as a grain of rice. and he was constantly wet all the time but none of that matter to you. despite his flaws, you could see past the soaked layers of insecurity and see waterboy for who he really was.
the most loveable guy in the entire world.
that’s why you jumped at the chance to be assigned to the torrance sdn branch for the week. even though you’ve just spent a weekend with him, doing nothing but showering him with your love, you wanted to spend more time with waterboy. the both of you could only be around each a few times a month. he had to look after his grandmother and you were a well-known hero. no one could fault you for wanting to spend more time with him.
“are you not bothered by the wet clothes? or the fact he literally spits water?”
what you hadn’t expected was the relentless questions from waterboy’s teammates.
there was some downtime between missions so you were sat in the rec room with waterboy while his teammates interrogated you. he hid in your arms, face redder than a tomato. all you wanted to do was kiss him all over and ignore everyone. unfortunately, you weren’t so lucky.
“that’s like asking if i get bothered by having wet clothes after swimming fully dressed,” you answered. “which i don’t, by the way.”
your hand stroked waterboy’s hair. it was only a bit damp. an improvement from last week when it was fully soaked. you should definitely kiss him as a reward.
flambae sat on a chair opposite you. prism was on his left and sonar on his right. malevola stood behind him with golem. they were all way too invested on why you were dating waterboy.
“does he have a massive dick?” asked flambae. “or a really tight asshole?”
you were about to kiss your boyfriend but stopped when flambae opened his mouth. waterboy pushed himself further into your body. the small droplets falling from his skin became heavier.
“can’t you just accept that i love herm?” you said, pulling him closer to you. “because that is pretty much all there is to it. i love him. a lot. like a ridiculous amount. hey, babe, can i kiss you because i love you?”
he pulled away from your arms to answer you but you took the opportunity to kiss him. once as a reward, twice because you loved him, and thrice because why not?
the z-team groaned. they weren’t going to get any answers from either of you since you decided now was a great time to make out with waterboy. he tried to get you to stop but he gave up rather quickly and decided to indulge you.
you loved waterboy and that was all there was to it.
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Omg we NEEEED more Denji x Male Reader!! The whole dynamic is just so 'I'm not gay, I had socks on' coded
in daniel - denji x male reader
warnings: smoking, mentions of objectifying women, denji and power antics
a/n: glad you like it! this ask and the previous one have kind of inspired me to keep this gag going but a confession will be in the works... soon... i think (nearly wrote boobligation by accident lol)
aki took a drag of the cigarette before passing it to you. "how long are you going to keep tormenting him?"
you shrugged. "i'm not tormenting him. he's not gay."
the him in question was running around with power, midway through some argument that you hadn't cared enough about to listen to. denji's face was red as he screamed at power that he was going to kill her. you weren't sure if it was red due to anger or embarrassment. either way, he was still cute.
aki pulled a face. shaking his head, he said, "the both of you literally went on a date the other day. he made me help him pick out a shirt."
he did look nice in that shirt. denji had been extra flustered that day. whenever your hands touched, even for a brief second, he would hastily pull it back and stutter out apologies. it was uncharacteristic of him. you did tease him a bit too much with offering to share a drink, but it was harmless fun between two guy friends.
"it was just a hang out," you exhaled in between drags. "denji's said he's not gay."
you knew that was a lie. the boy was as straight as a bendy ruler. he still stared at women every now and again, objectifying their bodies much to your dismay, but it seemed more out of obligation than anything. there wasn't that hungry stare he used to have, or the ten minute conversation where he would talk about how lonely he is.
now, denji gave women nothing more than a quick look. his focus would always turn back to you. and you relished that feeling.
aki huffed and snatched the cigarette from you. denji threw a rock at power. she threw blood daggers at him.
"can't believe i have to put up with two idiots in denial," said aki. he crushed the cigarette on the floor. "one was bad enough."
you laughed. denji stopped running and stared at you. the redness on his face blossomed into a lighter shade. "what are you talking about?!"
"aki was in a guy called daniel!" you shouted to him. aki went to punch you but you stepped out of the way. "still want to go see that film?!"
denji dodged power as she tried to tackle him. "yeah!"
"it's a date!"
"i'm not gay!"
yeah, denji was definitely in denial. although that was fine. you had plenty of time to wear him down.
warnings: swearing, hr violations
a/n: choose your own romance! little prologue here and you (yes, you) get to choose which hero/villain gets their own disciplinary chat. comment and/or reblog with who you'd like to chastise and within 3-5 days they'll get their own little thing. please keep it gay - no invisigal especially just because i don't really gel with her character/story arc
you didn't know what went through your mind when you applied to be a hr representative at the torrance branch of sdn. you knew that it was filled with villains going through rehabilitation as part of the phoenix program, but you had no idea of the amount of violations they would go through each shift. especially the members of the z-team.
"flambae, this is the third complaint you've received this week," you said. the paperwork in front of you was just from today and it already reached the top of your computer. "you can't go around calling fellow employees and subscribers bitches."
"this is fucking ridiculous," said flambae. he sat across from you without a care in the world. he seemed to be more focused on his hair than the disciplinaries he faced.
"what's more ridiculous," you said, "is the hostile work environment several ex-dispatchers have said you helped create."
"not my fault they're bitches."
you had to stop yourself from throwing your mug at him. flambae was one of the better z-team members. he didn't have as many complaints as the others did. your main gripe with him was his vulgar language.
"just," you sighed. he wasn't going to listen today so there was no point in going over the same points again. "try to cool it with the swearing. the next complaint will end in suspension."
flambae gave you a half-assed thumbs up before leaving. you scribbled down the outcome of the meeting and moved on to the next file. invisigal. she had the most complaints out of everyone in the branch. while being invisible was her superpower, the way she abused it was problematic.
the door opened. robert walked in, flashing you a smile. "how's it going, mr. hr?"
"terribly," you groaned. robert took a seat opposite you. "half of your team should have been fired a long time ago. but no, sdn wants to prove that villains can be rehabilitated. they literally do not care about consequences. at all!"
"well maybe they just want to see the cute hr guy," robert passed you one of his twinkies.
you cautiously took it from him. "they can do that without fucking over my mental health. and you're on thin ice already. don't think i forgot about phenomaman's comment about your kiss."
he cringed. you smirked.
robert had his own stack of complaints against him. it wasn't as much as the one's his team members had but it was still a decent size. none of them warranted a suspension or even a disciplinary. you still found it funny to bring it up to him.
"do you have to keep bringing that up?" he groaned. he tried to take the twinkie from you but you snatched it out of his grasp. "i attended the seminar and wrote an apology."
you took a bite of the twinkie. "what about that time you threw a protein shake at flamabe?"
"i said i was sorry."
a chuckle left you. despite the job being literal torture for almost every single minute, the small moments like this were what kept you from handing in your notice.
"anyway," you waved him off. "i've got several others heroes to chastise, so if you would."
robert took the hint and stood up. he spared you one last glance at the door, unspoken words heavy on his tongue, before he left you. you finished off the twinkie, took a look at invisigal's file and sighed.
it was going to be a long day. made even longer by the person knocking at your door.
who could blame you for staring when a row of the most handsome men in the world stood in front of you? half naked at that. glistening abs, toned biceps, thighs thick enough to crush a watermelon. if it weren't for the fact that they weren't waiting on you hand and foot, you would have thought you in were heaven.
"uh, dude," malevola nudged you. "you alright?"
you hummed. you thanked whoever was smart enough to suggest a pool day in the efforts of team building. it meant that you had a front row seat to the best show in town.
flambae was stretching by the pool. his arms tensed and flexed. sweat trickled down them, sizzling in the heat. royd joined him. they both leant over, rears in perfect viewing position. fuck, it was like they were tempting you.
"i love men," you dreamily sighed.
"we know," coupe huffed. you caught her throwing glances at punch up every so often. even though she sounded annoyed, she seemed to be enjoying the sight as well.
"yeah," prism laughed. "you're always oogling and oggling then in the changing rooms. swear down, you ran into a pole while sonar was in his bat form."
the girls laughed at you. it didn't bother you. they just couldn't appreciate fine art like you could.
"hey," robert walked up with a bottle of sunscreen in hand. "can one of you help me get my back? it's a bit difficult with beef running around."
"yup! i can help!" you shot up and took the bottle from him. he spared you a quizzical glance before walking off to a spare sunbed.
now you could enjoy art in the flesh. surely, the girls must be jealous.
