My family moved out of our ancestral lands many many years ago, they moved cause they were looking for a better life. Ive only been able to go there a couple times and i dont have the money to afford the trip anymore.
I moved to a big city after getting engaged to a city girl who has never known anything but the city and refused to know elsewhere. Our relationship is done and now i am stuck here with no money to move out.
I hate it here, the air is always polluted, i cant find the ingredients to cook the foods i love that my family used to cook, everybody is always running everywhere all the time. Running to get their morning coffee, running to be the first in line at the grocery store, running to catch the bus that passes every. four. minutes.
I just dont know what to do anymore. I wish i could go back to the community we are from but i cant afford the move plus, they dont know me and i dont know them. I can barely speak a couple words in their language and i look nothing like them. I havent known their joys and their struggles. i know i wouldnt have my place there.
Sometimes in the city ill hear some words in the language, hear an accent or see them wearing regalia. And then ill feel connected to this stranger. and then its my stop and i need to get off the bus or ill be late for my minimum wage job that doesnt care about me or any of this.
I know the life is harder there and we moved so id have a better chance to succeed but sometimes i still feel like when my mom left my heart stayed back there. I wish i could go back to find it
