#caseygrae

by Casey Grae

There’s no better combination of sounds than the laughter of teenagers and mediocre indie music. 

The grass muffles Mia’s “Art Camp” Spotify playlist. She has decided that the official musical theme of camp is trippy but not like too trippy. She’s playing a Tame Impala song that’s not one of their two popular ones. I ask what it’s called. She glares at me. I am interrogated about claiming to be a real fan. I deflect, reminding everyone of the time she admitted to having never seen Rocky. We call a truce.

Ryan asks why we’re here on this Earth. None of us know. So instead we tackle the smaller issues, like why is he like that and why is everything so annoying. We don’t know the answers but we have theories. Emily cites Bojack Horseman in her psychological analysis of Mia’s math teacher.

Kanevsky puts his arm around Mia. Emily feigns vomiting and we laugh. Some things are always funny. Kanevsky rolls his eyes. Mia says. “Oh, Simon, they’re just kidding.” Ew, she calls him Simon. He’s clearly Kanevsky. We ask what his friends at home call him, and he says he doesn’t really have friends. We assume he’s kidding and laugh. We feel bad. Then he tells us he was kidding, and that they call him Kanevsky.

Emily asks me if I’m dating anyone at home. I say no and the conversation moves on. I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what I want it to mean. No, wait, I definitely know what I want it to mean. Five minutes later we accidentally make eye contact and quickly turn away.

The conversation slows. Mia figures it’s time to change the music. She puts on a playlist called “Sad Boy Hours.” 

We won’t be here in a week. We’ll be far away. Ryan lives about an hour from me but I know neither of us are willing to travel that far. I love this group, but I’m busy. And it won’t be the same in suburban Chicago. In the real world.

I’d probably travel that far for Emily.

I guess social media helps. But not really. The best case scenario is that somebody sends a meme to our Instagram group chat once a week. And that’s not the same. It won’t do this feeling justice. It’s not just the people I want to hold onto, it’s the atmosphere. The fact we can sit around and talk about nothing for hours.