#caseyarchives

to be called

the love of your life.

It reminds me that even if this ends,

a small part of your life was lent to me.

that others wont get the privilege of

loving me the way you do

and loving you the way I do.

In places I don’t want them to be.

after they’ve let go?

Is it not enough to shatter my heart,

That you have to string all the pieces too?

Forgive me if i want to cut these lines

to save myself.

Because im not sure i can survive

the second time.

that I get to feel butterflies in my stomach

when i feel the flutters of your kiss

able to remember the warmth of your arms

until it turned into my punishments,

summoning the ghost of our past.

but I’ll try to justify this mess in my mind.

It isn’t fair that such a glance

could make me question everything I understand

I love a freckle on a nose,

but a mark on a cheek makes it my favorite.

I long for the touch of your hand,

but a busy wrist makes me feel warm.

I look at those doll eyes and see beauty,

but brown hues staring at me is epitome.

I could smell the aroma of chocolate forever,

But a whiff of blue is always a treasure.

How I wish it was different.

when you said you don’t feel my love as pure,

I understand you now.

And it’s sad that I do.

All I can say is, it’s okay.

I can’t force anyone to do that for me,

it has to be them.

But I have to ask,

Why?

Why am I not that girl?

Is it because of how I speak,

Or the way I dress?

Maybe my attitude?

Perhaps my stature?

I don’t want it to be by me

so I’ll never say anything.

But for once,

Can someone be so proud of me,

That the people they love the most,

Also knows me.

Because I don’t understand.

They’ve done it before

With other people,

And those people have that over me.

The bond of loving their son.

Stories that only your mom would know.

But I’ll never get to know that feeling

Will I?

Its okay.

If you don’t think I can be that person,

then okay.

If you don’t think I’m worth the introduction,

then okay.

We all know I can’t do what I’m asking for.

But someday,

I’ll be the girl someone tells their mom about.

One day,

I’ll be the girl having lunch with someone’s mom.

And those days may not be today,

But it will come.

And the boy who can do that for me just proved that I am worth being proud of—

and that makes me love him a million times more

when will I ever be enough?

why is there always someone else,

waiting in the backseat—

begging to be your passenger.

she already gets the unforgettable love,

she’s already the one that got away,

she gets the loving support of family,

she gets everything.

how about me?

what do I get?

why can’t I have something,

why can’t you give me something.

I desperately want to be a part of your life,

but it seems like you’re not letting me.

so I’ll just be here,

waiting for the day you say,

but feel it so loud

its like when i asked all my whens

he answered, now.

what may seem fast by time

can be slow in a lifetime.

full of life in the future

to be compared to any past.

have you got a lucky penny?

or maybe i do,

because it seems you arrived

when i lost all my dime.

been too good,

all my pieces gently mend,

certainly the anchor