#casey lambert

“Ladies, we have the great debate on our hands.” Casey Lambert said. “I wish it hadn’t come to this, but here we are.”

Her heeled boots clacked in unison with the knitting needles she smacked into her hands. Long brown hair fell over her shoulders, painting an impressive figure as she stalked in front of the assembled girls. They had commandeered the main floor English classroom with permission of the staff for this discussion. Simply put, this had gone on for long enough.

“We cannot both be The Craft Club.” Casey declared. “And I think Craft Club should keep the name.”

The uproar was instant. Girls sprang out of their chairs, yelling over one another in disagreement.

“That is foolishness!” “But we’re the Craft Club!” “We have precedence!” “What gives you the right?” “Quiet!”

Katherine Rivers was the last one to shout, sitting down primly and adjusting her pearl arrowhead pin. She was the picture of demure manners, like she hadn’t raised her voice at all. “I believe Casey was speaking?”

“You are just defending her because you’re just pissed ‘Bitch n’ Stitch’ wasn’t approved of a change of name, so now you’re trying to make us change our club; when we’ve existed far longer than your little sewing circle.” Elizabeth “Liz” Dunning said to her fellow Senior and Royal. She was incensed, the Craft Club girls by her side touching her shoulders to keep her from rising against the Other Craft Club.

“Yes,” Casey admitted, “I am upset ‘Bitch n’ Stitch’ wasn’t approved, but let’s be honest, Craft Club wasn’t a club for years because sewing was still an optional class in the 80s. If they hadn’t updated the curriculum we wouldn’t be here.”

“So we pre-date you,” Liz said firmly, crossing her arms. “We keep the name.”

“It’s only fair, I mean, you even know that if you tried to change your name first.” Jackie Blake said, supporting the apparently first Craft Club. Sadie Moore and Kerry Jeffords nodded next to her.

“Because Bitch n’ Stitch was an awesome name! Imagine the Club Sweaters we could wear around and no one could tell us it was inappropriate!” Lucy said, her current Lolita top hat pin in her lap, tying ribbons even as they spoke. Nothing could stop the redhead from keeping the craft in that particular craft club.

“In needlepoint even.” Ophelia, one of the freshman said supportively. Others agreed. “Like a pillow that says ‘Fuck this House’.”

Casey coughed, “As entertaining as it would have been, we were told it was inappropriate though. So with that *frankly amazing* name off the table, I think we should hold claim to the name because it’s more suitable for a Craft Club. We can’t call it an Arts and Crafts club because frankly, most of what we do is textile arts, but we have enough variety of materials with Lucy bringing in plastic braiding that I cannot in good conscious label us to a single medium. The practice of crafting is frankly ours, and we deserve the name.”

Liz frowned. She and the Craft Club were not buying it. “But your other name wasn’t specific; and we need the broadness afforded by Craft Club to keep us from getting dinged by the administration. You guys know damn well religious organizations aren’t allowed on campus, and we’re on the borderline with allowing everyone under the umbrella. I mean, if we called it, like? The Wiccan Society that would be wrong. It’s not like, a strictly magic club, or, hell, I’m in it for the herbology!”

“Which I appreciate, that book from Anke Bialas was great.” Kerry interjected, a soft smile on her face. Liz smiled back and patted her hand.

“Yeah, I may be a Witch, but not everyone in the club is,” Sadie said in that reasonable tone of hers; she fiddled with the beads and stones around her neck as she spoke. “If we called it something other than Craft Club, we’d run the risk of the teachers reading into things that simply aren’t a part of club activities. Like, I don’t bring my candles to club, and we certainly have never used an Ouija board- but imagine the admin taking some of that the wrong way?”

“I mean we only skate by because of the broadness of the club name.” Jackie continued. “And again, we predate you.”

“We also do regular crafts as well,” Kerry said thoughtfully, “I mean, I’ve done enough calligraphy for Sadie’s grimmore project. Does that not count?”

“I thought you might say that, so I provided a list of alternatives.” Casey said, crossing the large blackboard and urging Ophelia up. “Phee, read out the alternatives.”

Ophelia scrolled through the tablate, reading them off one by one as Casey wrote them on the board in blocky uppercase with a chalk marker.

“Magic, Myth, and Mana. The Otherworld Collective. Herbs n’ Friends. Oujia-Betta-Don’t. Dodgy Dobry Dudettes. Alternative Thoughts United.”

“That was my idea.” Katherine said, to no one in particular.

“The Sundown Halloweentown 2 Watch Party. Wands for a Better Tomorrow. Save a Horse, Ride a Broomstick. And of course, The Other Craft Club.”

“I don’t know whether to be offended or impressed.” Jackie said stunned as the entire list was lain out in front of them.

“Bit of both?” Sadie asked.

“What the hell?” Liz finished the trio of thought as the rest of the Craft Club mumbled amongst themselves.

“I like the idea of you all officially just being ‘The Other Craft Club’.” Lucy said, “You can keep the name but we can tell each other apart.”

“No way in hell. If anyone is the other club it’s you.” Liz snapped at the implications towards her girls.

The arguing began again in a cacophony of noise. Everyone was on their feet again, bits of sage, thread, and glitter scattered across the floor as Craft Club projects were upset across the desks and chairs. It took a while for Casey and Liz to come to a consensus between one another, tugging the other to a corner of the room to argue away from the noise of their clubs. Only after that did they calm the crowd.

“That’s it. We’re going to vote. Which club uses which name? We’ll use Casey and my name’s to indicate the original Craft Club, to avoid the confusion we’re all trying to solve by being here today. On the line next to it, write what you think the new name should be for each club. Clearly, only one club will walk out with a new name.” Liz said, passing out slips of paper.

There was grumbling, muttering of how Arts and Crafts Club sounded like something for children. Another said it was unfair that there was a huge list staring them in the face of options for their club, but none for the cheaters. Each mumble was silenced with a glare from the respective Club Rep.

At the end each vote was counted up from the top hat they were collected in. Liz and Casey tallied each paper on the board as they read out the suggestion, and the vote for the original club. The numbers bounced up and down until they reached the last slip. Casey put the final tally on the board, and scowled. Liz groaned.

“Okay, which one of you idiots put ‘Both’ and won’t let us just have a fucking tiebreaker?” Casey asked, holding up the offending slip which hadn’t seemed like an issue until they got to the end.

Unfortunately it seems both clubs were even in membership, fifteen members each. But Casey and Liz hadn’t thought it would be an issue for voting, because there were only twenty-nine girls in the room.

Laura Bancroft shrugged. Her feet rested on the top of the desk, uncaring about the fox she had just released back into the henhouse. “It’s funny. Why should we change the name?”

“I will end you.” Casey glared.

“Are you kidding me Bancroft?!” Liz had to leave the room as Laura burst out laughing, refusing to apologize to either Club Rep as they stood at a standstill.

And thus, the Craft Club and the Craft Club continued to be known as The Craft Club and the Craft Club. Maybe they should have just switched names? 

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