#cardens shitposts

feturing me and a friend in a call

SCYTHE: i am.. the snake in ma boot.

BROKER: boss, are you drunk??

SCYTHE: nah im.. the snake in ma boot.

BROKER: how many hours did you spend in the saloon??

SCYTHE: about.. 9 or 10..

BROKER: and how many shots did you down?

SCYTHE: about.. 20 of tha good ol moonshine.

BROKER: ...youre drunk

SCYTHE: no i aint!

BROKER: tell the time.

*Scythe aggresively turns to a random clock.*

You, me, gas station.

What are we having for dinner?

Sushi, of course!

Uh oh!

There was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi!

We black out and wake up in a sewer.

We're surrounded by fish.

HORNY fish.

You know what that means

FISH!

The stench draws in a bear.

What do we do?

We're gonna fight it!

Bear fight,

Bare handed,

Bare... Naked?

Oh, yes please!

We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl,

Then we ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese!

DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION.

REVOLUTION?

OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT?

Uh, I think so!

Next thing you know,

I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ!

Then I turn into a jet,

Fly into the sun,

Black out again,

Wake up,

Do a bump,

WHITE out,

Which I didn't know you could do,

Then I smoked a joint,

GREENED out,

Then I turned into the sun,

Uh oh!

Looks like the METH is kicking in!