Love Song for a Broken Heart - a Captain Swan Modern AU Chapter 1 (Broken Hearts)
Several months ago, I heard a commercial which turned into a prompt for this story. When I pitched it to my beta @hookedmomââ, she came up with lots of ideas for it, so I decided to write it for her birthday in April. I almost feel guilty saying itâs her gift, because she had to do a lot of work to help me clean it up, but here it is. Happy birthday, Mary! Very few of my stories would have been completed without you!
This chapter has several flashbacks and changes in Point of View. These are the symbols for each:
~*~*~*~ = flashback
<<<<<>>>>> = change in POV
Summary: After a painful break-up with the love of his life, Killian Jones writes a song for her and sings it every weekend at the bar. One night as heâs playing, he sees her in the crowd with a man he despises, and it leads to an eye-opening discussion between Emma and Killian.
Chapter 1 of 2
Rated: M
Words: (Chapter 1) - 4780
Also found on Ao3 and ffn
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It was all so perfect.Â
Until it wasnât.Â
As Killian tuned his guitar prior to walking out onto the small stage, his mind wandered once again, back to the day when his life, for all intents and purposes, ended.Â
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
âDonât lie to me, Killian!âÂ
âIâm not lying to you, Swan! Youâre the only woman I love. I would never cheat on you!âÂ
âI saw the pictures of you having sex with another woman!â
âThere arenât any bloody pictures! How could there be pictures when I havenât been with anyone else?â
âYou canât deny it was you in them! I might be stupid, but I can still identify the man whoâs supposed to be my boyfriend!â
âYouâre hardly stupid, which is why you should know I would never cheat on you. You always say you can tell when somebody is lying to you, so use your superpower now, Love.â
âDonât ever call me that again! Love is built on trust and I canât trust you now, Killian. How can I?âÂ
âEmmaâŚâÂ
Her voice, which had been nearly hysterical, dropped to a whisper and it cut through him more deeply than her shouting. âItâs over, Killian. Weâre through.âÂ
Then she was gone, and he spent the next eight months trying to figure out how it all went wrong.Â
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He was three songs into his set when he made his usual announcement, unwilling or unable to change it, even though it always tore at his heart. âI wrote this song for the love of my life.âÂ
As he played the first chord, he wondered again why he chose to torture himself. She was never going to hear this song, no matter how many times he played it.Â
You are my dream
The sweetest I have ever known
My heart is in your hands
Itâs yours, no longer my own
I live for youÂ
And the happiness you give me
Youâre everything and more
With you, Iâm the best I can be
My beautiful love
Straight from heaven above
You helped me to see
Just how sweet love can be
How can I tell youÂ
I love you more every day
Iâll never be the same
Since you stole my heart away
With it in your hands
To protect it or to break
I need to know your choice
What decision will you make?Â
My beautiful love
Straight from heaven above
You helped me to see
Just how sweet love can be
My lifeâs not the sameÂ
And your love is to blame
Our fate is in your control
Please donât crush my soul
My beautiful, beautiful love
My beautiful love
As his broken voice finished whispering the lyrics and the last notes faded away, greeted by a smattering of applause from the few people in the bar who were listening, he thought he was having a hallucination. Because she was there; her golden hair glowing in the dim lighting, giving her an ethereal quality which further convinced him she was a figment of his imagination.Â
He blinked several times and refocused his eyes on the same spot, shocked to see she was still there. He almost involuntarily took a step toward her, until he realized she wasnât alone. Neal fucking Cassidy was sitting beside her with his arm draped over her shoulders and an arrogant smirk on his face that said he won.Â
And thatâs when it clicked.Â
<<<<<<>>>>>>
Emma couldnât believe Neal brought her to the bar where Killian was playing. When he walked out on the stage, her heart nearly beat out of her chest, his face and body so familiar to her, but now, so foreign. She thought she knew everything about him, but his betrayal had almost broken her.Â
The pictures which revealed his unfaithfulness were imprinted on her brain, no matter how hard she tried to scrub them from her memory. It took her weeks to feel anything other than numbness, and thatâs when the anger and pain set in. Her friends had good intentions and attempted to cheer her up. Despite their loyalty to her, they still tried to convince her that Killian would never do something like that, but they hadnât seen the photos, and she was too humiliated to show them. Â
Neal had been there for her, calling to check on her and giving her a shoulder to cry on. When he asked her out after months of being her sounding board, she felt she owed it to him to show her appreciation for all he had put up with from her.Â
She never meant for it to be anything more than two friends going out to listen to some music and hang out. But he was making her uncomfortable with the way he was draping himself all over her, and she had a feeling he was doing it for show, trying to get under Killianâs skin.Â
From the look on Killianâs face once he noticed them, it worked.Â
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
For most of the first week after the breakup, Killian didnât leave his apartment. He wallowed in his misery and in his bed - the bed heâd shared with her so often - keeping his face buried in her pillow to inhale the fading scent of her. He didnât eat, sleep, or shower and barely dragged himself out of bed to take care of his bodily functions.Â
He tried to call and text Emma, but quickly figured out that she must have blocked his number, driving him further into his pit of despair. Robin called him incessantly and finally barged into his apartment on the third day of his self-imposed isolation, intent on urging him back to the land of the living. After resisting his friendâs attempts to get him to eat and shower, Robin left, threatening to call in the big guns to bring him around.Â
When his brotherâs voice broke through his foggy brain two days later, he knew Robin made good on his threat.Â
âWhat the bloody hell is going on with you?â Liam roared, causing Killian to tug the pillow over his head. It was promptly pulled away and his bloodshot eyes beheld the angry and concerned face of his older brother.Â
âHow did you get here?â he croaked.Â
âI took some days off work, kissed my wife and daughter goodbye, and booked a flight from England. Then I convinced the building manager that my ponce of a brother might be in danger so he would let me in. Now, answer my question.âÂ
âShe broke up with me,â Killian said mournfully.Â
Liam sat down on the bed beside him. âWhat happened?â he asked in a much softer voice.Â
âI donât know. She said she saw some pictures that proved I cheated on her.âÂ
âDid you?âÂ
âFuck no! You know Iâm completely in love with Emma and would never do that!âÂ
âThen how do you think she got the idea you were with someone else?âÂ
âI donât bloody know. Iâve wracked my brain trying to figure it out and I just canât make any sense of it.âÂ
âWell, shutting yourself away from the world isnât getting you anywhere, brother. When was the last time you showered? You stink!âÂ
âWhat does it matter?âÂ
âSo youâre just going to give up? Youâre not going to try to get her back?âÂ
âShe fucking blocked me! How am I supposed to talk to her if sheâs cut off all communication from me?âÂ
âIf you really want her back, youâll find a way. A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets.âÂ
Killian sighed and flung his arm across his eyes. âI donât need your lectures, Liam.âÂ
âFine, but you DO need a shower, and Iâm assuming something to eat.â Â
Like a petulant child, Killian flung back the covers and got out of bed. While he showered, Liam ordered food to be delivered and stripped the sheets off the bed, replacing them with fresh ones from the linen closet in the hall.Â
When Killian emerged from the bathroom, he noticed the change in his bedding and dug through the hamper to retrieve the pillowcase that still held the faint scent of Emmaâs shampoo, replacing the clean one on her pillow. Then he pulled on clean sweatpants and an old T-shirt before wandering out to the kitchen.Â
Liam was pulling cheeseburgers and fries out of bags as Killian slumped into a chair at the table. While he nibbled at his food, he listened to Liam telling him to pull himself together; but how could he do that when the better half of him was gone?Â
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Killianâs jaw clenched tightly as he continued staring at the couple sitting across the room from him. Emma wasnât looking at him. In fact, she seemed to be actively avoiding it as her eyes darted around the room, looking at everything except him.Â
Meanwhile, Neal took advantage of having Killianâs attention, pulling Emma closer, kissing her temple and cheek, while keeping his eyes on the man standing mutely on the stage. Then he used his fingers to turn her face towards him and pressed his mouth to hers, deepening the kiss almost obscenely until she put her hands on his chest and pushed him away slightly, breaking the contact between their lips.Â
Killian could tell Emma was trying to catch her breath, while Neal once again looked at him, running his tongue across his lips, before a smug grin transformed his face into the embodiment of mockery.Â
Without giving the audience any explanation, Killian threw the strap of his guitar over his head and placed the instrument in the stand at his feet, then stepped off the stage and let his feet carry him across the room. As he closed in on Emma and Nealâs table, she finally looked up to see him approaching.Â
Anyone who didnât know Emma Swan would have missed the look she gave him, just before the mask of indifference dropped over her features, but Killian did know her and he saw it. It was regret mixed with anger, but he also sensed sadness.Â
âWhat are you doing here, Cassidy?â he gritted out, knowing he wouldnât be able to address Emma without being overcome with emotion.Â
âJust thought Iâd treat my girlfriend to a night out on the town. I didnât realize the entertainment was going to be soâŚdepressing, shall we say?âÂ
âIâm here every Friday, mate. Donât try to pretend you didnât know Iâd be here.âÂ
âOh, I knew you would be here, I just didnât realize your, umâŚsingingâŚwould be soâŚmelancholy. Really, dude, play something upbeat, would you? No wonder nobody is listening to you. I donât even think they realize youâve stopped playing.âÂ
âNealâŚâ Emma started, putting her hand on his arm where it lay on the table.Â
âWhat, Baby?â he crooned, nuzzling his nose into the crease of her neck. Killian didnât miss how she flinched slightly.Â
âWhy donât you go get us some drinks?â she asked tightly.Â
He gave her a perturbed look, then shot another at Killian, before pushing to his feet. âAnything for you, gorgeous,â he said, not quite disguising the anger in his tone.Â
As soon as he was out of earshot, Killian turned to her. âWhat are you doing with him?âÂ
âWho is the song for?â she asked, not acknowledging his question or meeting his eyes.Â
âThe song?â His brain tried to catch up with what she was asking.Â
âYou said it was for the love of your life, so Iâm assuming itâs for her.âÂ
âItâs for the one and only woman Iâve ever loved, or will ever love.âÂ
She finally dragged her eyes up to meet his, and his heart broke all over again seeing the hurt and betrayal in the depths of them. âWho is she?âÂ
âDonât you know, Emma? Itâs you. It will only ever be you.â He refused to let her break eye contact with him, willing her to see the honesty in them.Â
âThen how do you explainâŚâ
âThe pictures? Why donât you ask Nealâs mother?âÂ
âMilah? Why would I ask her?âÂ
âBecause she has the ability and the equipment to enhance photos and I think sheâŚâÂ
âHere we go, Ems. Good thing the bartender knows me so I was able to get our drinks quickly and come right back.â Neal set the bottles of beer on the table and slid into his seat, putting his arm around Emma and tugging her into his side. Casting a wary eye at Killian from under his furrowed brow, he growled, âShouldnât you get back up on the stage, Jones? After all, thatâs what youâre being paid to do.âÂ
Killian fought to keep a lid on his temper because he knew throwing a punch at Cassidy would only draw unwanted attention and upset Emma. He hadnât said a fraction of what was on his mind to her, but he knew the opportunity was lost. There was no way Neal was going to leave her alone again tonight.Â
Giving her one more lingering look, which he hoped conveyed his feelings adequately, he said, âIt was good to see you again, Emma. I wishâŚI wish you nothing but happiness.âÂ
Before she could reply, he turned and made his way back to the stage. After picking up his guitar and strumming a few chords on it, his head dropped and he stood still for many long moments. Finally, he stepped up to the microphone and said, âI apologize, but I canât finish my set tonight.âÂ
Then he turned and walked off the stage.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Liam stayed four days until he was satisfied his brother wasnât going to retreat back to his bed again. During that time, he encouraged Killian numerous times to try to pinpoint when everything went wrong.Â
âI truly donât know, Liam. One day, we were happy and in love, the next day she was telling me it was over. I have no idea what happened.âÂ
âWhat about those pictures you mentioned? Do you know anything about them?âÂ
âNot a bloody thing. Apparently she saw some pictures somewhere - Facebook or Snapchat, I suppose - that showed me in a compromising position. I tried to look on her account, but she has me blocked on everything.âÂ
âBut you donât remember them being taken?âÂ
âI canât remember them being taken because I have never been with any other woman since I met Emma!âÂ
âCould they have been from before you met her?â
âI havenât been with anyone else since I moved to the states. Any time I was with a woman before that was in the privacy of my bedroom or dorm room. There was never anyone around to take any pictures.âÂ
âDid you get plastered one night and take up with some lass? Or could it be a groupie at one of the bars where you play on the weekends?âÂ
âIâve never gotten so drunk that I lost my ability to think straight. The possibility of me being in pictures with another woman is zero percent.â He huffed out an exasperated breath and began pacing around the living room. âI tried to call her friends and none of them will even talk to me. Not even Mary Margaret, and sheâs the kindest person Iâve ever met. I donât know what else to do.âÂ
Liam stood up and put his hands on his brotherâs shoulders. âI know you donât want to hear this, but I think youâre going to have to give her space until she calms down and thinks things through rationally.âÂ
Killian hung his head. âThat feels a lot like giving up, and Iâll never stop fighting for her, Liam.âÂ
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After leaving the bar, Killian put his guitar case in his car, climbed into the driverâs seat and pounded his fists on the steering wheel numerous times, before crossing his arms over it and resting his head on them. How could he be so bloody stupid? For as long as he could remember, Neal had designs on Emma and tried everything to get her to go out with him. Was it that far-fetched to think his mother had doctored some pictures and spread rumors to get Emma to break up with him so Neal could have a shot with her?Â
With these thoughts still swirling through his mind, he started the car and drove home through the busy Friday night traffic.Â
<<<<<<>>>>>>
When Emma saw Killian exit the stage, clearly distraught, her first instinct was to run after him and try to comfort him. She had to remind herself that he hurt her far worse than he seemed to be hurting right now. Still, what he started to say about Nealâs motherâs ability to enhance pictures sparked her curiosity. Was it possible things werenât what they seemed? Could she have been wrong all these months?
She thought about it for several minutes, absently sipping her drink, before stating flatly, âTake me home, Neal.âÂ
âWhat? Why? Because of Jones? Donât let him spoil our good time, Baby.âÂ
âDonât call me that! Why are you acting like this? Weâve just been going out to have a good time as friends, Neal - nothing more. You know Iâm not ready to get involved in any kind of relationship right now.â
âCâmon, Ems. Itâs been months and that bastard cheated on you! Donât you think itâs time to move on?âÂ
âIâll be the one to decide when itâs time for me to move on, Neal. Now, if you arenât going to take me home, Iâm going to call for an Uber.âÂ
He heaved a theatrical sigh. âFine, have it your way.â He threw on his jacket and stomped out of the bar, with Emma trailing in his wake.Â
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
For weeks after Liam went back to England, Killian continued trying to contact Emma in every way possible, with no luck. When he went to her apartment building, the doorman informed him that Emma had put Killianâs name on the list of people who were not permitted into the building. Going to where she worked at an accounting office garnered the same results.Â
She even seemed to have stopped going to her favorite coffee shop and bakery. He went there every day for a month, sitting at an inconspicuous corner table, hoping to catch her when she came in, but she never did.Â
It was as if she simply dropped off the face of the earth, or more likely, he had entered a universe in which everything that brought him happiness had vanished. He drifted through every day in a haze of miserable loneliness and despair, and time did nothing to heal the wounds of his heart.Â
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
His phone vibrating against his cheek woke him up the morning after seeing Emma at the bar. He had fallen asleep with it in his hand, after checking through every social media site fruitlessly for the hundredth time, trying to find the elusive, damning pictures. He finally succumbed to a fitful sleep around four-thirty in the morning.Â
Groggily, he checked the number of the incoming call and bolted straight upright, fumbling to swipe the screen before the call cut off. âEmma?â he nearly shouted.Â
âH-hi, Killian.â Her voice was soft and hesitant. âDid I wake youâŚâ
âNo,â he hurried to assure her. âNo, I was, umâŚI wasâŚgods, itâs good to hear your voice.â
âLook,â she said, sounding stronger, âI just wanted toâŚtoâŚâÂ
âWhy were you there with him last night?â He knew he shouldnât ask, but he couldnât help himself. The question had been making his head ache for hours.Â
âIâve beenâŚweâve, umâŚgone out a few times.âÂ
Killian squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to keep the hot tears from flooding them.Â
âAnd he wanted toâŚhe said he was meeting a buddy and his girlfriend there, but they never showed up. Or they were never going to be there in the first place. I donât know.â
âHe knew Iâd be playing last night. He brought you there on purpose, just to rub it in and to see how I would react.âÂ
âI donât thinkâŚâÂ
âCome on, Emma! You know thatâs what he did!â
âI didnât call you for your commentary, Killian,â she retorted.Â
âWhy did you call, then?âÂ
âI wanted to continue our conversation from last night. You said something about his mom enhancing pictures. How do you know that?â
âBecause Belle has had her do some for the summer reading program at the library. She takes kidsâ pictures and turns them into animals or astronauts or pirates, things like that. Iâm told theyâre really well done, like a work of art.âÂ
âI still donât think she would do something like faking picturesâŚâÂ
âOf course she would, Swan! Sheâd do anything to make sure her spoiled brat of a son gets what he wants, and he made no secret of the fact he wanted you. And guess what? It worked!â
âYou donât have any proof she did that, Killian!â Emma responded angrily.Â
âWhere are these alleged photos of me with somebody else? I guarantee you theyâre fakes, because I have never even looked at another woman since you and I have been together. Thatâs all the proof you should need.âÂ
âThey look pretty convincing.âÂ
âI told you sheâs a professional, Emma. How did they even come to your attention in the first place?âÂ
There was a long pause. âJefferson sent them to me,â she finally answered in a small voice.
âJefferson? As in Nealâs best mate? And that didnât raise any suspicions with you?â His anger was beginning to boil over and it was all he could do to keep a lid on it.Â
âThey look legitimate. YouâreâŚthe two of you areâŚitâs in the alley behind The Rabbit Hole. You have her pressed up against the wall and youâreâŚwell, it doesnât leave much to the imagination.âÂ
âBloody hell, Emma! You were with me every time I had a gig at The Rabbit Hole! Why in the hell would I sneak off into a back alley to fuck some random woman while the love of my life was sitting in the bar on the other side of the wall? How could you think so little of me?âÂ
âAm I?â she asked quietly.
âAre you what?âÂ
âThe love of your life?â
âThere will never be anyone else for me, Emma. My heart belongs to you, whether you want it or not.â
âDid you really write that song for me?âÂ
âAye, I started it when we were still together and finished it about two months after youâŚended things. I tried everything to contact you but you completely shut me out. The only way I knew to express my feelings was to put them into a song. Iâve been singing it at every show, hoping it would somehow help my heart to heal, but all it seems to do is keep the wounds fresh.âÂ
âItâs a beautiful, haunting song,â she conceded.Â
âWell, it was inspired by the most beautiful woman in the world.âÂ
âKillianâŚâÂ
âIâll never stop loving you, Emma. Nothing you say or do can make me do that.âÂ
The silence that fell after his declaration stretched on for nearly a minute, before her voice, thick with emotion, came through the line. âI have to go, Killian. Iâll, um, maybe Iâll take another look at those pictures. I havenât been able to bring myself to look at them again sinceâŚsince it all happened.â Â
âIf you want someone elseâs opinion, take them to Belle. She knows Milahâs work and she would be able to tell you if they were faked; I mean that they ARE faked.â
âIâll think about it.â
âYouâll let me know when you find out the truth, aye?âÂ
âYes, just donât push me, okay?âÂ
âI wonât, Love.â
She closed her eyes at hearing the endearment. She used to love hearing it fall from his lips, but now it just rubbed at a raw wound. âGoodbye, Killian.âÂ
âIt was very good to hear from you, Emma. I hope to talk to you again soon.âÂ
He lay looking up at the ceiling for the next ten minutes, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth and something that felt a lot like hope blooming in his chest.Â
<<<<<<>>>>>>
Emma ended the call and stared at her phone, working up the courage to pull up those abominable pictures again. Since viewing them the first time they appeared on her screen, she had stubbornly refused to look at them again, so she really hadnât studied them closely.Â
Taking a deep, quavery breath, she tapped in her passcode and opened her photo gallery. As she began slowly scrolling through the photos, her thoughts went back to when she first laid eyes on the incriminating pictures. To say she was shocked would be the understatement of the century. There was the man she loved with every fiber of her being, fucking an unknown, dark-haired woman against a brick wall. Her face was buried in his shoulder, so Emma wasnât able to identify her, but Killianâs face was easily recognizable.Â
When she knew she was getting close to the date when Jefferson shared the pictures with her, accompanied by a text that simply said, âThought you might be interested in seeing these,â she nearly closed the gallery. The pain that had been present in her heart for eight months reared its ugly head again, grasping at her throat and forcing tears to gather in the corners of her eyes.Â
At last, the photos came into view and she swallowed hard before bringing one up. She felt the familiar stabbing sensation in her chest as, with shaking fingers, she swiped the screen to zoom in.Â
Killian appeared to be looking off to the side. Emma shifted the view, being careful not to move it down to where the two bodies were joined, and studied the shirt the man was still wearing, obviously not taking the time to undress completely for a quick fuck. It appeared to be a light colored dress shirt with thin stripes and she blew out a disbelieving breath. Killian never wore shirts like that when he played gigs; he either wore plaid flannel or a Henley. She wasnât even sure he owned a shirt like the one in the photo.Â
She zoomed in again on his face. The expression on it didnât look much like someone in the throes of passion. He looked almost serene, with a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth.Â
âHold on a minuteâŚâ Emma murmured. She minimized the gallery and opened her Facebook app, bringing up her profile page and clicking on the photos. Scanning through them quickly, she soon found what she was looking for, a picture taken at Mary Margaret and Davidâs baby reveal party, when Killian was sitting at the picnic table looking over at Emma. Ruby had taken it and posted it on Facebook, adding a caption which said, âThe look of a man in love.âÂ
Emma flipped back and forth between the photos several times to compare them. âSon of a bitch!â she cursed. Not only had someone created a fake photo, they had used a picture of Killian smiling at her sweetly to do it.Â
She felt bile rise into her throat and swallowed it back down, but it didnât do anything to alleviate the sick feeling in her stomach. Although she still didnât have proof it was Nealâs mother who did it, she would bet every dime she had that it was her work.Â
All those months of heartbreak and pain were because of a spoiled brat whose mommy decided to break up a blissfully happy couple, so her son could get what he coveted.Â
She was torn about what to do first. She wanted to call Neal and rip into him with her accusations, but she also wanted to call Killian to tell him sheâd discovered the truth. After several moments of contemplation, she opted to call Mary Margaret to get her advice on how to handle the situation.Â
<<<<<<>>>>>>
Killian sat on his couch, listlessly plucking at the strings of his guitar. It had been hours since Emmaâs phone call and he wondered if she decided not to take another look at the pictures. He knew if she did, she would definitely discover the manipulation, and surely she would have called him.Â
When a soft knock sounded on his door, his eyes shot up and his heart rate soared. Laying his guitar aside, he stood up and crossed the room, a bit anxious, but daring to hope.Â
The door opened to reveal Emma on the other side, nervously wringing her hands, her face pale, drawn, and absolutely beautiful.Â
âSwan?â he questioned, his voice coming out strained.Â
âMayâŚmay I come in?â she whispered.Â
*********
The final chapter will be posted tomorrow, so hang in there! Thank you for reading. Likes, reblogs and comments are always welcome and greatly appreciated!
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Summary : In a time of political unrest, two souls find each other. A Tale of war, danger, espionage and love. contains Irish Swan trio chapters. Inspired by the movie Head in the Clouds.
Rating : M
AO3 / FF.net
Chapter 2
I am so sorry for taking so long to update, I'll try to finish this fic as quickly as possible during confinement and I hope you like it. Please leave comments, they fuel me like gaz does to a car. If now one reads it then what's the point of putting so much effort in it you know ( especially that it's an adaptation of a movie so I can't publish it). Anyways, I hope you're all ok
-----------------
Killian went on with his life, going to class, studying, helping at the church and the hospital until one day...
It was a Sunday â he remembered it well, He was helping the priest that day at church â Emma entered the church in a white dress, looking stunning as always, but her eyes were not their happy giggly eyes he saw before. Her eyes were sad and nostalgic.
He had read a couple of days earlier that her mother had drowned in a ship accident going back to America but he didn't know how to get to her to present his condolences, no funeral was held to hiw knowledge.
"Emma, I'm sorry for your loss" he said as she approached him. She smiled sadly, looking him straight in the eyes for a couple of seconds before almost forgetting why she was there.
"I came to see you, I came to say goodbye Killian. I'm leaving England."
"You're leaving ? Where are you going ?"
" Everywhere, I'm going to see the world" she says now looking away "and I don't want to lose touch with you, you're the only friend I don't want to lose from this chapter of my life"
Killian felt a pang in his throat at the news she gave him but tried to see the bright side of it, she wanted to stay in touch. "When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow" she says once again with a sad smile.
"Is Neal going with you ?"
She smiled sneakily "No, he doesn't even know I'm leaving"
"Then let me accompany you, I've always wanted to travel"
She approached him now slowly, as if trying to calm him down "No Killian, you need to stay and finish your studies, you have a bright future waiting for you. I couldn't possibly forgive myself if I ruined it for you" Suddenly she wandered why she wanted to leave altogether, the world was not worth losing sight of his blue eyes, but the decision had been made long before they met.
Coming closer to him, she gave him a quick but passionate kiss before running away in the direction of the doors. Turning around, she gave him a final smile before leaving him standing in the middle of the church on his own.
Killian thought this would be the last time he sees her or hears from her but she had other ideas in mind.
She would send him letters every month or so, letting him know about her new adventures, where she was, what she was doing, always (deliberately ?) leaving out who she was doing it with. She seemed to be having fun, but often her words would be tinted with nostalgia, reminiscing that day she entered his room and how out of all the rooms in the dormitory, it had to be his. "My killian" she would say.
And as months and years went by, the letters and post cards became scarce and before he knew it it had been three years since he last saw her and a year since he last received a letter from her. He thought she probably met someone and forgot about him.
He now had a new routine, he would go to class to teach then go volunteer at the soup kitchen or the shelter, meet his lady friend (he refused to call her otherwise), belle, and then go back home.
That day was no different, except his "lady friend" wanted to go to the cinema that day. That's when he saw her. The news about the civil war in Spain had ended and the movie had begun 20 minutes earlier. And there she was, stunning as always. She played the part of a Roman slave in the movie, but true to herself, she wasn't going to submit to her holders until they killed her.
When he left the cinema that day he couldn't take her off his mind, not even while he slept with belle.
A month passed and all he could think about was how much he missed her, how he missed her letters and her calling him "her Killian".
Until one day he received an unexpected letter from France.
"My dearest Killian,
I miss you so much. I'm sorry I didn't write for so long, forgive me ?
I moved to Paris and I'd really like to see you soon, please come visit me.
Here's my new address :
13 Rue de Montmartre,
75013 Paris.
I'll be eagerly waiting for you my Killian."
She hadn't signed the letter but he knew very well who it was from.
The next day his bag was ready and he embarked on his journey to Paris to meet with Emma.
Hello CS fandom! Here is the masterlist of the One Shots lists I have made. Hope you enjoy. There are more coming, because this fandom has so many talended writers and amazing stories.
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Inspired by something I saw at my local zoo over the summer.
The day before Henryâs sixteenth birthday the Swan-Jones family decided to take a trip to the zoo. They had spent the whole day exploring everything there was to possibly see. It was every bit as much for Henry as it was for Killian whoâd looked at everything with wide eyes.
The last thing they had seen was the African section which was located on an island of sorts surrounded by the river/pond combination that flowed around the southeast border of the main section of the zoo. The only way to access the island was a long, wooden bridge that stretched across the river right at the mouth of the pond.
They were just completing the loop around the island when a womanâs voice cut through the sounds of the animals and other visitors. âThe Storybooke Zoo will be closing in 10 minutes. The zoo will be closing in 10 minutes. Thank you.â
Of course, Emma was the only one to hear the announcement as Killian and Henry had been too busy teasing each other a little ways behind her to hear. âAlright,â she says, walking over to them, âItâs time to make our way back.â She puts her hand out for Killian to take.
âBut Swan!â He starts to say, âI wanted to see the jellyfish!â He looks at her with his best puppy dog eyes. The jelly fish were located in a restaurant area back in the farthest corner of the African section while the exit was on the other side of the zoo.
âWeâre going the wrong was to see the jellyfish!â She says sounding slightly exasperated.
"Well, let's go back!â Henry says with a big smile on his face. And with that, he turns around, running down the wooden path that leads back to the exhibit.
âCâmon love, it wonât take that long!â He takes her hand in his and starts to walk after Henry looking at her over his shoulder.
Emma takes her hand out of his and runs a few feet ahead of him before turning around and stopping. âWe donât have enough time! We need to leave now if we want to get out before we get in trouble!â She argues. Killian just shakes his head, an affectionate smile tugging at his lips.
âDarling, we have nothing to worry about. Weâll just go take a peak at the jellyfish and them run for the exit. Itâs not a problem.â With that she turns and starts to run ahead of him again.
About halfway down the path, she stops. She spreads her arms and legs so that she's blocking his path, a hint of a smile on her lips. When Killian sees what she's trying to do, he smiles too and continues walking. When he gets to her, he wraps his arm around her waist without stopping, effectively pulling her off balance.She falls into him with a little shriek of surprise and wraps her arm around his shoulders.
They walk off towards the jellyfish laughing the whole way, Emma forgetting about the lingering closing time for the moment.
Henry stands at the end of the wooden path watching the whole thing with a smile on his face before racing off again to find the jellyfish.
This story and banner were created as a birthday gift for my good friend @xsajx. (Iâm actually posting this on the day before her birthday, since she will be gone on the actual day.) Hardly a day goes by that she doesn't make me laugh by telling stories about her clumsiness, love for all things sweet, or overall silliness, and by the typos which we blame on her autocorrect angry elf. She is my biggest cheerleader and encourager, and I'll be forever grateful for the day I decided to add her to my taglist!
Loads of thanks to my loyal beta, @hookedmom, and the ladies of the CSMM Discord for their writing sprints and feedback.Â
And my undying gratitude to @spartanguard for the excellent manip to turn Emma into a FedEx driver!Â
Summary: Killian Jones lives alone in his secluded little house in the country, and thatâs just the way he likes it. When he discovers he can have even less contact with people by ordering supplies online, he jumps at the chance; but the fiery blonde FedEx driver who delivers them might make him rethink his lonely existence. A CS fic based on the music video for âThe Wordsâ by Christina Perri.Â
Rating: M
Words: 11,744
Also on Ao3 & ffn
*********
Lonely No MoreÂ
It was a lonely existence, but one he had voluntarily chosen for himself. Killian Jones knew about loneliness, after all; had lived it most of his life. His childhood was spent living in a crowded, dirty city in England, yet even among all those people, he sought solitude. He had his brother and his ailing mother, and didnât need or want anyone else, including his mostly absentee father, who abandoned his sons for good once his wife died.Â
Now, he lived in Maine with lots of open space around him. His little house wasnât anything fancy, but it had everything he needed. He spent his days chopping wood, taking care of his garden, and nurturing the orchids he grew for the flower shop located in a nearby city. The trips he made to deliver them and to purchase necessary supplies, provided the only interaction he desired with other people.Â
Books were his friends. Books held no expectations and didnât make him feel self-conscious or uncomfortable. He could lose himself in sea adventures, jungle safaris, and space travel, or learn about horticulture, cooking and shipbuilding.Â
Recently, he splurged and purchased internet service. The florist had suggested it as a way for him to order his supplies online, instead of having to make an extra trip into the city to buy them. He also set up an email account, so she could let him know ahead of time how many plants she required.Â
Today he was awaiting his first delivery of floral supplies, along with two new books he was excited to read. He had to admit that having everything coming to him was going to be much more convenient.Â
As he was tying up the stems on an orchid plant he would be taking to the shop the next day, he looked out the sunroom window and noticed a cloud of dust being kicked up along his lane. He quickly snipped the ends of the thin strings and moved through his house to emerge onto his back steps.Â
The white FedEx truck was stopped beside his old pickup and Killian descended the stairs to meet the driver. He could hear noises coming from inside the vehicle and figured the delivery man was searching for his packages in the back. While he waited, he leaned on his truckâs tailgate and dug some potting soil from beneath his fingernails, so he was startled when he heard a womanâs voice say, âDo you know how freaking hard it is to find your house?âÂ
His eyes shot up to take in the scowling blonde who was jumping out of the truck to the ground, balancing two packages in her hands.Â
âExcuse me?â he asked, his voice sounding strange to his own ears.Â
She rolled her eyes. âI said, your house is almost impossible to find! Iâve been driving around for fifteen minutes and now Iâm behind getting these deliveries made. Why donât you have your house number on your mailbox or something?âÂ
âI...I guess Iâve never thought of doing that.âÂ
Her green eyes flashed. âWell, you should think about it! If youâre gonna live out here in the boonies, you could at least make it easier on delivery drivers!â
âIâll take that into consideration.âÂ
She nodded her head in satisfaction, then looked at the label on the top package. âYou are Killian Jones, arenât you?âÂ
âYes, maâam.âÂ
She glared at him. âSeriously? Iâm more than likely younger than you and youâre calling me maâam?â
âUmmâŚâÂ
âEmma.â
âPardon me?âÂ
âWhenever you order anything, Iâll probably be the one making the delivery, so you might as well know my name; itâs Emma Swan.âÂ
âOh. Well, itâs nice to meet you, Emma Swan, and Iâm very sorry that my house was difficult for you to find. I also apologize for causing you to be delayed.â
A smile crossed her face and Killian felt like the sun had suddenly broken through the clouds. âThanks. I only have four more deliveries to make anyway, so itâs not that bad.âÂ
Killian realized she was still holding his boxes. âHere, let me take those. Iâm sure you need to be going.âÂ
She handed the packages to him and gave him another smile. âYeah, I do. Now that I know where you live, I wonât need to yell at you next time, okay?âÂ
âI would appreciate that, lass, er um, Emma.âÂ
âI can live with âlassâ,â she laughed, turning to head back to the truck.Â
Killian stood slack jawed, wondering why her laugh had such an effect on him.Â
She climbed onto her seat, started the engine, and called out to him, âWill I see you soon, Killian Jones?âÂ
âOh, uh, y-yes. Iâll probably be ordering supplies on a regular basis.â
âOkay. Until next time!âÂ
He shifted the packages so he could raise his arm to wave, then watched the white vehicle disappear down the long lane.Â
*********
Killian laid on his side in bed, staring at the book in front of him, but unable to concentrate on the words. He flopped onto his back and ran his hand over his face and through his hair. Images of flashing green eyes and blonde tresses preoccupied his thoughts and he couldnât seem to shake them.Â
Perhaps it was because he had so little interaction with other people, but he never reacted to the few he did meet the way he had with Emma Swan. He knew it was absurd to be so affected by someone he met for such a brief time, but there was just something about her that captured his attention.Â
He folded his arms behind his head, his white T-shirt stretching across his chest as he sighed. He could still hear the pleasant sound of her laughter, as well as her melodic voice - when she wasnât yelling at him.Â
Giving up on doing any reading, he closed the book and placed it on the nightstand, then switched off the lamp. When he finally managed to drift off to sleep, his dreams were filled with flowing golden hair and sparkling emerald eyes.Â
*********
Grocery shopping was one thing Killian despised and would put off until there was barely any food left in the house. The day he realized he could buy most of his groceries online was a happy one for him.Â
As he checked the cupboards and made a list of items he needed, he couldnât help but look forward to the next day delivery guaranteed by his upgraded membership. Since FedEx was named as the preferred delivery method, he knew his excitement stemmed from more than just having his food supply replenished.
The next morning, he felt the unprecedented need to dress in his best blue checkered flannel shirt with a gray henley underneath. He set out for the back of his property to chop a bundle of firewood, stopping often to survey the vehicles passing by on the highway in the distance, hoping to catch a glimpse of the white truck with the distinctive orange and dark purple logo on the side.Â
After carrying the wood to his house and stacking it on the porch, Killian puttered around inside; oiling a squeaky hinge, fixing the leaky bathroom faucet, and nailing down a loose floorboard in his bedroom. In between jobs, he looked out the window, checking the lane for any approaching delivery trucks.Â
He heated up leftover beef stew for lunch, dipping pieces of soft, white bread into the rich broth. As he ate, he flipped through a magazine, trying to find an article of interest to help distract him from thinking about her.Â
By mid-afternoon, he was beginning to wonder if the delivery tracking app was wrong when it showed that his packages were supposed to be delivered that day. He was outside stacking crates in the bed of his truck and folding the green tarp he used for covering the flowers, when he saw the cloud of dust at the end of his lane. His traitorous heart began to beat faster as he spotted the FedEx truck headed his way.Â
Not wanting to appear too eager, he finished his task and placed the tarp in the cab of his pickup, while the delivery truck came to a stop. When he glanced up, he saw the flash of a blonde ponytail disappearing into the back storage area.Â
By the time he walked over to stand beside the white vehicle, Emma had emerged with two large boxes balanced on top of one another. She stepped carefully onto the ground and Killian hurried to take them from her. He had assumed they werenât heavy since she didnât seem to struggle carrying them, but was surprised to realize the combined weight of the two boxes was rather substantial.Â
âHow are you today, Miss Swan?â he asked politely.Â
âIâm fine, Mister Jones,â she smirked. âMy name is Emma, remember?âÂ
He knew he would have been nervously scratching behind his ear if his hands were empty. As it was, he felt the heat moving up his neck. âI didnât want to be too forward.âÂ
âSo youâre a gentleman, huh?âÂ
âIndeed I am.âÂ
âWell, I wouldnât have told you my name if I didnât want you to use it.âÂ
Killian smiled. âDuly noted.âÂ
âI notice you have your house number added on your mailbox now.âÂ
âAye, better late than never, I suppose.âÂ
Emma laughed, which caused his heart to speed up just like the last time. âAll of your other delivery drivers will appreciate it, too.âÂ
âThere are no others. Youâre my one and only,â he blurted, then wished the earth would open beneath his feet to swallow him.Â
âThatâs good to know,â Emma laughed, stepping back up into her truck. âHave a good day, Killian.âÂ
âYou too, lass. Drive carefully.âÂ
âYes, Dad,â she grinned, then put the truck into gear and waved.
Realizing his hands were full, instead of waving, he nodded his head and graced her with one of his rare smiles, which she returned before driving away.
He carried the packages into the house, with the smile still on his face.Â
*********
Usually, Killian was content when he went days on end without going into the city or having any interaction with other human beings; but as the week after the delivery of his groceries progressed, he felt restless. He found himself searching the shopping app for items which would be useful, even though they werenât necessary.Â
He knew he shouldnât spend money on frivolous purchases, but since he had more than enough savings in the bank, he didnât really feel guilty about buying a few things. Still, his finger hovered over the âplace orderâ button for several seconds before he finally tapped it.Â
That evening as he soaked in his vintage, claw-footed bathtub, he started having second thoughts about what he had done. He couldnât believe he ordered things he didnât need just so he would get to see Emma again.
Laying his head back on the rim of the tub, he sighed deeply. He was probably reading too much into her friendliness and was sure she treated all the other people on her delivery route the same way.Â
He leaned forward and scooped water into his cupped hands, then splashed it over his face and through his hair. Regardless of whether or not he had done the right thing, his order would arrive tomorrow.Â
As he pulled the plug to drain the tub, climbed out and began to dry off, he came to the conclusion that his excitement over having Emma arrive in her FedEx truck was because of the novelty of having packages delivered to his house, instead of having to make the trip into town. Perhaps seeing her would become routine, and soon his heart wouldnât race every time he saw the delivery truck coming up his lane.Â
*********
âThis is getting to be a habit,â Emma remarked, hopping down out of the truck with a small package in her hand.Â
Killianâs fingers found the spot behind his ear which always seemed to itch when he felt awkward. âAye. Iâm sure youâd rather not have to make deliveries all the way out here.â
âI really donât mind, Killian.âÂ
His hand brushed against hers as he reached to take the box, and the feel of her soft skin caused a tingling sensation to travel through his fingers. He noticed she wasnât quick to pull her hand back and he lifted his eyes to look into her face. She was wearing a soft smile that he couldnât imagine she gave to all of her other customers.Â
He felt her fingers slowly glide against his as she finally let go of the package and stepped back.Â
âI guess Iâd better be on my way,â she remarked. âDo you, uh, will you have more orders arriving soon?âÂ
âOh, um, I...I donât know. Possibly. I forgot a few things when I ordered my groceries last week.âÂ
Her smile brightened. âGreat! Iâll see you before long, then. Goodbye, Killian!âÂ
âGoodbye, Emma.â
âDonât worry - Iâll drive carefully!â she quipped before taking off.Â
He shook his head at her banter and stood in the driveway, until the dust created by her vehicle had completely settled.
*********
Killian was amazed at how light his heart felt in the following days. When he made his bi-weekly trip to the flower shop to deliver his pots of orchids, the florist noticed.Â
âYou seem to be in a good mood,â she commented. âI mean, not that youâre usually grumpy or anything, but you just seem...different.âÂ
âDo I?â he asked. âWell, this batch of flowers is of exceptionally good quality, so perhaps thatâs the reason.âÂ
She threw him a skeptical look, but didnât make any further comments as she wrote a check for him.Â
*********
Killian had become engrossed in repotting some plants and wasnât waiting outside when Emma made a delivery the following week. By the time he glanced up to see the familiar truck sitting in his driveway, she was already striding toward the door carrying a large box.Â
He quickly brushed his hands off over his workbench, then rubbed them down the front of his jeans. She knocked on the door just as he reached it.Â
âDid you forget I was coming?â she smirked through the screen door.Â
âNo, I was just working.âÂ
âYou work from home?âÂ
âYou could say that. I grow specialty flowers to supply a florist in the city.âÂ
While he was talking, she was peeking in the window beside the door, which looked into his sunroom. âOh, wow! You grow those? Theyâre gorgeous!âÂ
âWould you, um, would you like to come in and see them more closely, or are you not supposed to go into your customersâ homes?â
âWeâre strongly encouraged not to, mostly for our own safety, but I trust you, Killian Jones.âÂ
A bright smile stretched across his face as he pushed the screen door open, being careful not to accidentally bump her with it. âCome on in.âÂ
She stepped into the house, glancing around for a couple of seconds before following him into the sunroom. He took the package from her hands, laid it on a chair, then stood back as she walked around his workbench, marveling over the beauty of the orchids.Â
After she walked completely around it, he began telling her about some of the complexities of growing the fragile flowers. She listened attentively, hesitantly reaching out to lightly stroke her fingers over the silky petals.Â
When she realized she had been there for over five minutes, she declared that she had to get back to work. As she made her way to the door, he plucked one of the stray blooms off of the bench.Â
âSwan?â he said, causing her to stop in her tracks and look back at him.
He stepped over to her and shyly held the bloom out, then ducked his head and scratched at the back of it after she took it.Â
âThank you, Killian. Itâs beautiful.â She twirled the stem between her fingers and looked up at him from under her lashes. âYouâre very talented.âÂ
âOh, I donât know about thatâŚâ
âI do. And youâre also very sweet.âÂ
As the tips of his ears reddened, she turned, pushed the door open and made her way to the truck. He watched through the screen to see her gently lay the flower on the dashboard before driving off.Â
*********
The next time the FedEx truck came rumbling up the lane, Killian was sitting on his back steps, bundled in his olive green, Sherpa lined coat, and wearing a heather blue infinity scarf around his neck. It was a Thursday towards the end of October; the last leaves were clinging to the bare branches of the trees, and a front had moved through, dropping the temperatures with the first true cold snap of Autumn.Â
He stood up as the truck stopped and strode over to stand beside it, waiting for Emma to emerge from the back with his latest purchase. When she did, he sensed a difference in her demeanor immediately. The slight smile she had pasted on her face wasnât natural and didnât reach her eyes.Â
As soon as she handed him the box, she mumbled, âHere you go, Killian. Have a good day,â and began to climb back into the driverâs seat.
âEmma, wait,â he called, causing her to pause before getting behind the steering wheel. âIs something wrong?âÂ
She stood stock still for several moments and he wondered if she was warring with herself about whether to confide in him or not. He gave her time, not wanting to pressure her into saying something, but hoping she would, since something was clearly bothering her.Â
Finally, she turned back to face him with tears shining in her eyes. âTo-today is my birthday...âÂ
Automatically he responded, âHappy birthday, Swan!â then realized two tears had escaped the confines of her lower eyelids and were tracking down her cheeks. He carelessly tossed the package he was holding onto the open tailgate of his pickup and closed the space between them.Â
Acting on instinct, he reached up to brush the tears off her cheeks, and the simple gesture seemed to break the dam. A few more tears fell as Killian implored, âEmma, what is it? Tell me whatâs wrong.âÂ
After several seconds, she took a deep, shuddering breath and wiped her face with her sleeve. âIâm sorry, Killian,â she whispered in a tear-thickened voice.Â
âYou have no reason to be sorry, lass, but perhaps you could share whatever it is thatâs burdening you. Is it something to do with your birthday?âÂ
She kept her head down, as she explained, âI just...I donât have any family - never have - and itâs hard every time my birthday comes around, because all it does is remind me that itâs been another banner year of being alone. I wish...I wish...you know what, Iâll be okay. Forget it.âÂ
âMaking a wish is one of the traditions of birthdays, I believe,â he observed. âPlease tell me your wish, Emma.âÂ
Raising her head at last, she looked at him with a sad smile, âI wish I didnât have to be by myself on my birthday.âÂ
âI can help make that happen, if youâll allow me.âÂ
âKillian, no. I didnât tell you this so you would feel sorry for me.âÂ
âWhat I feel for you is empathy, Swan. In case you havenât noticed, Iâm a bit of a recluse. I have no remaining family myself, and I havenât gone out of my way to make any friends since moving here from England several years ago. I would be happy to keep you company on your birthday.âÂ
âReally? Are you sure?âÂ
âYes, I am. Would you feel comfortable coming here to have dinner with me?â
âUm, sure. Do you want me to bring take-out from somewhere?âÂ
He rubbed his finger behind his ear. âI thought I might cook the meal. Iâm no chef, but I can hold my own. Do you have any food allergies?âÂ
Her smile brightened. âUmm...no, no allergies, and Iâm excited to taste your cooking! Is there anything I can bring?âÂ
âJust yourself. Shall we say seven oâclock?âÂ
âThat works for me. I should probably go, so I can finish the rest of my deliveries. Thanks so much, Killian - Iâll see you later!âÂ
âOne moment, Swan. Perhaps I should, uh, perhaps we could trade phone numbers, just in caseâŚâÂ
âIn case you want to cancel?â she asked, trying and failing, to make it sound like a joke as her smile faltered.Â
âOf course not. I just thought it would be a good idea to have each otherâs number. That way, if youâre running late, you can call so I wonât worry.âÂ
âOh, okay. Let me put my number into your phone, then you can send me a text and Iâll have yours.âÂ
Once that was done, Emma bounced up the steps of her truck and dropped into the seat. âSee you tonight!â she called as she slid the door shut, fastened her seat belt, and drove off.Â
He watched her go with a fond smile on his face, then hurried into the house to decide what to make for her birthday dinner.Â
*********
By the time Killian saw headlights coming up the lane, he was pulling dinner rolls out of the oven while the loaded potato soup simmered on the stove. He stepped out onto his back porch to see a yellow Volkswagen come to a stop, and heard the hinges screech in protest when she threw open the door to climb out. She tried to close it, but it wouldnât shut completely, so she bumped it with her hip in a move he was sure she used on a regular basis.Â
Turning toward him, he could see the beaming smile on her face - quite a different countenance than sheâd had earlier in the day.Â
âGood evening, Love,â Killian greeted. Even in the low light, he saw her brows raise at his use of the term.Â
âHello again, Killian,â she returned, brushing past him as he held the door open for her. âWow! Something smells delicious!âÂ
He held her coat as she shrugged out of it, then hung it on a hook in the entryway. âI hope you like salad and loaded potato soup.âÂ
âI like anything, pretty much. If I was home tonight, I would probably be having leftover pizza from last week. Potato soup sounds like heaven to me!â
They moved into the kitchen where he pulled a chair out for her at his small table, went to the stove to ladle soup into two bowls, then sprinkled shredded cheddar cheese on top. He placed them on the table where the basket of rolls and plates of salad were already waiting.Â
âIâm afraid I donât have much to offer you in the way of drinks,â he apologized. âI wish I had some wine orâŚâÂ
âNo problem. Water is fine with me.âÂ
He took two glasses from the cupboard, dropped some ice cubes in, then filled them with water from the faucet.Â
Emma was stirring her soup, inhaling deeply. âI canât wait to try this - it smells so freaking good!â she declared.Â
He chuckled. âWell, dig in then, Swan,â and watched her surreptitiously as she did.Â
âMmmmâŚâ she moaned after taking her first bite. âThis tastes amazing!âÂ
Her moan sent a warm sensation through his body, and he cleared his throat before speaking so his voice wouldnât betray the wash of longing it set off in him. âIâm, uh, Iâm glad you like it.âÂ
âDid you actually make this, or have you hidden the cans you opened somewhere?âÂ
âNo cans to hide - I made it from scratch, and I grew the vegetables for the salad in my greenhouse garden out back,â he grinned, tearing off a hunk of bread to dip into his bowl.Â
She watched him before doing the same. âHow about the rolls? Did you make them, too?âÂ
âAh, now those I just warmed in the oven. I had them in my freezer.âÂ
âOh, you just burst my bubble, Jones. I thought you were a master chef and baker!âÂ
âWell, I didnât have room in the oven to make both fresh rolls and your birthday cake, so I chose to make the cake,â he smirked.Â
Her eyes grew wide and she laid her spoon on the table. âYou...you made a cake for me?â she gasped.Â
He slowly nodded his head. âAye, and I hope you like chocolate. Itâs a recipe of my mumâs and itâs my favorite. I also made buttercream frosting for it.âÂ
âI love chocolate! I canât believe you did that!â
âWell, everyone should have a cake for their birthday, although I donât usually bother to make one for myself.âÂ
âDo you know what I did last year? I bought myself a cupcake and a little blue star candle and took them to my apartment. Then I stuck the candle in the cupcake, lit it, made a wish and blew it out.â
âDid your wish come true?â Â
She looked him in the eye. âI wished I could have someone in my life to talk to, even if it was only one person. Itâs one of the reasons I started working for FedEx. I thought if I was making deliveries to different houses, I would meet people, but most of the time, theyâre too busy to talk, or they donât answer my knock, so I just leave the packages at their door. Then I started coming here and, well, I guess you could say you made my wish come true, Killian.âÂ
He ducked his head and busied himself with stirring his soup. âYouâve done the same for me, Swan. It gets lonely out here by myself, but I have no desire to live in the city. I enjoy chatting with you when you deliver my purchases, and I, uh...I have a confession to make.âÂ
âWhatâs that?âÂ
She waited for his answer while watching his ears turning red. âI...well...Iâve been ordering things I really donât even need, just so I can see you.âÂ
Reaching across the table, she covered his hand with her own. âI think thatâs the sweetest thing Iâve ever heard.âÂ
He raised his eyes. âYou do?âÂ
She nodded.Â
âI have another confession to make,â he admitted. She squeezed his hand to encourage him. âI, uh, I asked for your phone number because I thought perhaps I could call you in between the deliveries you make out here.âÂ
âIâd like that, Killian. I hope you wonât mind if I call you sometimes, too?âÂ
âThat would be nice, Emma.â They shared a smile, then he observed, âPerhaps we should finish our soup before it gets cold.â
*********
After they finished their dinner, Killian carried the cake in, along with dessert plates and clean forks.Â
Setting the cake in front of her, he apologized, âIâm sorry I donât have any birthday candles. Iâve never had any need for them.â
âMaybe you should order some to be delivered,â she smirked, and he laughed.Â
âIf I did have candles, how many would be necessary?â he asked hesitantly.Â
âAre you trying to ask me how old I am, Jones?âÂ
He shrugged. âMaybe?âÂ
She giggled, causing him to grin. âIâm twenty-nine.âÂ
He began cutting the cake into large squares, then lifted a piece out of the pan to place on one of the plates. As she watched him, she inquired, âWhen is your birthday, Killian?âÂ
âIn January.âÂ
âAnd youâll beâŚ?âÂ
âThirty-three. Iâve got a few years on you.â He laid a fork on the plate, slid it across the table to her, then set to work plating a piece for himself.Â
âLess than four. Thatâs hardly anything,â she commented.
Once he was seated again, he looked at the beautiful woman across from him. âEven though you donât have a candle to blow out, would you still like to make a wish, Love?â
âOkay.â She closed her eyes and concentrated, until a smile crossed her face. When her eyes blinked open again, she saw him watching her. âYou know I canât tell you what I wished for or it wonât come true.âÂ
He reached across the table to give her fingers a squeeze. âI truly hope it does.âÂ
They ate their cake, with Emma exclaiming over how delicious it tasted. When they finished, she tried to help him clean up, but he wouldnât hear of it. âIâll just clear away the leftovers, then take care of the dishes tomorrow.â
He insisted on sending some of the food home with her, giving her a generous amount of soup, three rolls, and several pieces of cake, all of which he packaged and put into a cardboard box.Â
âI seem to have a lot of these piling up, for some reason,â he quipped, and she rolled her eyes with a grin.Â
Soon all the food was squared away and the two of them stood together in the kitchen, feeling a little awkward.Â
âWould you, um, would you like to watch some television?â he asked.Â
âI should probably go home. I have to work tomorrow.âÂ
âOh, yes, okay. Well, Iâm very happy you were able to come over tonight.âÂ
âSo am I, and I canât thank you enough, Killian. This is the best birthday Iâve had for as long as I can remember!âÂ
âIt was my pleasure, Emma. Oh, by the way, I have a gift for you before you go.âÂ
âYou donât have to give me anything; you already made a delicious meal and cake for me.âÂ
He took her hand and tugged her along behind him into his sunroom. âI want to do this, Swan,â he told her, stopping in front of his work table, on which sat an orchid with pale pink blooms. He picked it up and turned to hand it to her. âHappy birthday, Love.âÂ
âKillian, I...I canât take this! You grow these for the floristâŚâÂ
âI grow these to share with people,â he interrupted, âand I can think of nobody with whom Iâd rather share this one.âÂ
She set it back on the table and wrapped her arms around him. âThank you,â she whispered.Â
He returned her hug, burying his nose in her hair and inhaling her scent.Â
When they finally separated, he held her coat for her as she slid her arms into it, then carried the box to her car while she carefully handled the plant. They placed everything on the passenger side floor, making sure the flower was secure.Â
As they stood in front of the driverâs door, Killian remarked, âThatâs quite the vessel you captain there, Swan.âÂ
âItâs paid for and it gets me where I need to go.âÂ
âAh, of course.âÂ
He dropped his eyes shyly, until he heard her say, âWell, I guess I should get going. Thanks again for everything, Killian.âÂ
âYouâre very welcome.âÂ
Both of them remained still for several moments, not quite knowing how to end the evening. Finally, Killian said, âIâd, uh...Iâd like to see you again, if thatâs okay. I mean, besides you coming here to make deliveries. Would you be interested in going out on a proper date?â
Emma graced him with a brilliant smile. âI would like that very much.âÂ
âIâll call you tomorrow evening to set something up. Perhaps dinner and a movie?âÂ
âSounds good! Iâll look forward to it!âÂ
Stepping forward, she pressed a kiss to his cheek, but before she could move away from him, he put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer. Looking into her moonlit eyes, he saw acceptance for what he was planning to do, and in the next moment, his lips found hers. Â
The kiss was gentle and sweet, and he could feel her breath quicken as his lips glided over hers. After a blissful few seconds, he reluctantly broke the kiss, licked his lips, and smiled at her.Â
âGoodnight, Emma. Drive safely.âÂ
âI will. Goodnight, Killian.âÂ
He opened the door for her, and closed it once she was settled behind the wheel with her seatbelt fastened, bumping it with his hip as he had seen her do, to make sure it was latched.Â
She gave him another smile and a wave as the engine rumbled to life, then turned the car around and started down the lane. Killian went back into his house, still smiling to himself, not realizing that with his kiss, he had already made Emmaâs latest birthday wish come true.Â
*********
After spending the following day watching the clock until he knew Emma would be home, Killian was true to his word and called her. They arranged to go out the next evening to a nice, quiet, out-of-the-way diner outside the city.Â
Just before ending the call, he suggested wearing casual, warm clothes for the second part of their date. He thought of something to do after dinner besides a movie, but wanted to make the suggestion face-to-face with Emma, to get her honest reaction. He did ask her if she liked horror movies or if she scared easily, because he didnât want to put her in an awkward situation during their date. She assured him that she enjoyed things that got her heart racing.
On Saturday, he made a delivery of flowers to the florist in the city, then spent a couple of hours cleaning out his pickup truck and washing it. He wished he had a more luxurious vehicle, but he knew she probably wouldnât care, considering the car she drove.Â
It felt like time was moving at a snailâs pace all afternoon. He took a bath, trimmed his beard, and dressed in jeans, boots and a heavy red and black plaid flannel shirt. Then he spent some time figuring out the best route to take to her apartment, not putting his trust in his phoneâs GPS, and checked his appearance several times before the clock finally showed it was time to leave.Â
It had been years since he last went on a date, and he hadnât been on one at all since moving to Maine. Going out with women always made him feel awkward and anxious, so it became something he chose to forgo. Tonight, however, he surprised himself with how much he was looking forward to going out with Emma.Â
He pulled up to the curb in front of her apartment building almost ten minutes early, so instead of going in and knocking on her door, he sat in his truck, fidgeting and repeatedly smoothing the hair on the back of his head.Â
When his phone dinged with a text message, he grinned as he read it. You donât have to sit in your truck until the exact time, you know. Iâve been ready for over an hour.
He exited the truck and looked up at the third floor, spotting her standing in one of the windows, waving at him. He grinned in return, then entered the building and took the elevator to her floor. She opened the door before he even had a chance to knock, wearing a bright, though slightly nervous, smile.Â
âSwan, you look...stunning,â he said sincerely, pulling a bouquet of Autumn flowers from behind his back, and causing her smile to grow wider.Â
âOh, Killian! Theyâre gorgeous! Fall colors are my favorite! Come in so I can put these in some water.â She stepped off to the side of the doorway to usher him in, taking the bouquet from his hand and automatically bringing it up to her nose.Â
âLook, I havenât killed the plant you gave me yet,â she said proudly, using her free hand to gesture toward a small table in front of the window, on which sat her birthday orchid. Â
âThatâs good. I think if you had, it might be a new worldâs record for murder of a plant!â he chuckled.Â
He could hear her rattling around in her small kitchen, opening and closing cupboards, followed by the sound of running water. When she emerged, she held a bright yellow plastic pitcher with the flowers inside.Â
âIâve never gotten flowers before, so I donât have a vase,â she explained, setting the pitcher on the table beside the orchid.Â
âYouâll need to cut the stems diagonally under running water and trim the leaves off below the water line; that makes cut flowers last a little longer,â he informed her. âThereâs a little packet of plant food tucked in there to sprinkle in the water, too.âÂ
âShould I do it right now?â
âNo, it can wait until later. Are you ready to go?âÂ
âIs this okay for what you have planned?â She swept her hand downward, indicating her dark jeans, knee-high boots, black and white striped sweater, and dark red, fleece-lined coat.Â
âItâs perfect. The Weather Channel says itâs only supposed to get down into the low fifties tonight, so you should be warm enough.âÂ
âThe Weather Channel, huh? What are you, like sixty years old?â She laughed as he rolled his eyes, then added, âYou have me very curious about what weâre going to do.âÂ
He opened the apartment door and allowed her to lead the way into the hall. âRight now, weâre going to eat dinner,â he teased.Â
âYeah, I figured that out, Sherlock. I was talking about after weâre done eating.â
âYouâll find out soon enough,â he assured her, following a step behind as she walked down the stairs.Â
*********
The diner was a cozy little nook which wasnât too crowded, and allowed them to have an uninterrupted conversation all through dinner. Killian was a bit shocked with how easily he was able to talk to her, after being alone for so many years and having limited contact with other people. She was a good listener and had him laughing with stories of some of her delivery mishaps.Â
At the end of their meal, he asked if she would like to have dessert or coffee. âActually, Iâd like some hot chocolate,â she said, âwith lots of whipped cream and a sprinkling of cinnamon.âÂ
âThat sounds...interesting.â
She saw his raised brows. âWhat?âÂ
He opened his mouth, then hesitated before responding, âNothing.âÂ
âDonât knock it until you try it, buddy.âÂ
âIâm feeling adventurous tonight.â
When the waitress brought the beverages out, he took a tentative sip, then gave a whipped cream-enhanced smile. âNot bad, Swan.âÂ
âTold ya,â she gloated. âSo when are you gonna tell me where weâre going next? Iâve been very patient.âÂ
âIndeed you have. Iâm not sure how youâll feel about this, so if itâs something youâd rather not do, donât be afraid to tell me.â She nodded her agreement, and he went on. âI found a farm a few miles from my house which offers haunted hayrides through the woods.âÂ
Her eyes lit up. âReally? That sounds like fun! What time does it start?âÂ
âThe first one is at eight o-clock and thereâs one every forty minutes until midnight. We should be able to go on the third one of the night.âÂ
âWell, what are we waiting for? Letâs go get the begeezus scared out of us!âÂ
He chuckled at her enthusiasm. âWe still have time to finish our cocoa, Emma.âÂ
âOh, yeah. Iâm just so excited! Iâve never been on a hayride of any kind before, let alone a haunted one!âÂ
Killian was happy he was getting to witness some of her first experiences that evening, and that she was so receptive to his idea. He had worried that she would think it was a silly and childish thing to do.Â
Every moment he spent with the fiery blonde had him becoming more and more fond of her, and when the voices in his head started chanting that he could get hurt, he shut them up immediately. He was tired of being lonely, and was ready to take a chance with this woman, who was already well on her way to capturing his heart. Â
*********
The couple enjoyed the hayride, which turned out to be more humorous than scary. Emma had trouble controlling her giggles as people dressed as zombies with bad make-up jumped out at them from the woods with chainless chainsaws, rubber knives and fake machetes.Â
Killian didnât mind the occasions when she was startled, because she kept jumping closer to him on the hay bale on which they were sitting. By the time the half-hour ride was over, he had his arm around her, holding her close against his side.Â
Before leaving the farm, they purchased hot apple cider and caramel popcorn and took it back to his house.Â
âWould you like to watch a movie, Swan, or will that make it too late for you to get home?â Killian asked, showing her into his living room.Â
âI can get home after midnight; I wonât turn into a pumpkin...or a zombie,â she smirked.Â
âShall we continue on with the scary theme?âÂ
âThatâs fine with me. I like horror movies, but I donât really enjoy watching them by myself.â
They chose a movie from Hulu together and sat on the couch as they watched, munching popcorn and sipping their cider. About an hour into the movie, when the food was gone, Emma gravitated toward where he was sitting and was soon leaning against him. He encouraged her snuggling by wrapping his arm around her shoulder and resting his cheek on the top of her head.Â
Killian was not a person who welcomed human contact - most of the time he would avoid it if possible. So he was surprised to realize he not only enjoyed Emmaâs body being close to his, but almost craved her touch. Several times she hid her face in his chest when she knew a particularly scary scene was coming and he held her tighter, boldly pressing kisses into her hair.Â
When the movie ended, he reluctantly released her, allowing her to sit up. She turned to look at him and he asked, âDid you like it, Love?âÂ
âThe movie or the date?âÂ
âBoth, I guess?â he shrugged.Â
Instead of answering, she leaned in and kissed him. His eyes widened in surprise at first, then he let out a happy sigh and allowed his lips to caress hers in return. He felt the fingers of one of her hands find their way into the soft strands of hair at the nape of his neck, while the other slid up his arm to squeeze his bicep.Â
His hands didnât stay idle, as he ran them from her waist to massage her back. He lost himself in the kiss and found himself wishing it wouldnât end. When it did, he drew back to look into her shining eyes, then dove back in for more.Â
Finally, they both had a need for air and separated, though they maintained contact with their foreheads pressed together.Â
âCan I take that as a yes?â he grinned.Â
âIt is most definitely a yes,â she assured him. âI canât remember the last time Iâve had such a good time!âÂ
âYou didnât find the haunted hayride to be a bit feeble?âÂ
âI loved it! This date was so much fun, Killian. I truly have enjoyed every minute of it...especially the last few,â she added, winking at him.Â
He laughed deep in his throat and pulled her in for another hug. âIâve had a really good time, too,â he murmured against her temple. âWould you be interested in going out again?âÂ
âIâm assuming you mean with you?âÂ
âThat was kind of the idea, yes.âÂ
She pressed her lips to his again. When she pulled back after several sweet moments, he licked his lips and said, âNot that Iâm complaining, Love, but do you ever just answer with a yes or no?âÂ
She threw her head back and laughed, and he took the opportunity to scatter small kisses along the creamy skin of her throat. Her sudden intake of breath told him the effect they had on her.Â
âI...I would love to go out with you again, Killian; more than once, if possible.âÂ
âI think thatâs entirely possible.â He settled her against his chest once more and they sat comfortably together, her fingers finding the gold chain around his neck, while his stroked up and down her upper arm.Â
The chimes of his grandfather clock signaled the hour of one oâclock and he reluctantly sat up and put some space between them. âIâd better get you home, Swan.âÂ
She heaved a sigh. âYeah, I guess so. You probably need your beauty sleep.âÂ
âItâs how I retain my youthful glow,â he responded cheekily.
She laughed again and he realized he could listen to that sound for hours on end, if given the chance.Â
Killian went out to start the truck while Emma put her boots and coat back on. Soon they were on the road back to her place.Â
âDo you like living in the city?â he inquired as they drove along the highway.Â
âNot really, but Iâm not lucky enough to own a house out in the country.âÂ
âLucky is a good word for it. I happened to be in the right place at the right time to purchase it, and got it for a steal. Itâs quiet and far away from other people, so it has plenty of privacy, which I value.â
âI figured that out by the number of things you order so you wonât have to make trips into the city.â
He glanced over at her with a shy smile. âI donât allow many people in, Emma. In the past, Iâve found it very difficult to trust them, because they always let me down.âÂ
âI can identify with that.âÂ
âYou, uh, you said you never had a familyâŚâ
âNope. I was abandoned at birth and never got adopted.âÂ
âAh, I see. I actually had a family, but my mum died when I was very young, my father abandoned my brother Liam and me, then Liam was killed in an accident. Iâve been alone for nearly fifteen years now.â
âIt sucks, doesnât it?âÂ
âAye, but Iâve gotten used to it.âÂ
Silence fell for a while as the truck passed three mile markers. Finally, Emma broke it by quietly asking, âDo you think you would like being a little less lonely?âÂ
He glanced over at her before directing his eyes back to the dark road. âI would if it meant we were being less lonely together.âÂ
*********
When they arrived at her apartment building, Killian hopped out of his side of the truck and hurried around it to open her door, taking her hand as she exited and not letting it go. They took their time walking up the three flights of stairs, exchanging few words, but numerous smiles with each other.Â
âDo you want to come in?â she asked as they stopped outside her apartment door.Â
âI might want to, but I really should get back home.âÂ
âBusy day tomorrow?âÂ
âNot really, but I was planning on calling a certain lovely lady at some point in the day.âÂ
âLucky girl.âÂ
He moved closer to kiss her briefly. âI guess you are.âÂ
Looping her arms around his neck, she initiated another kiss, this one lasting far longer. Pulling back at last, she said, âI had such a good time tonight, Killian. Everything about it was perfect.âÂ
âIâm very happy to hear it. Shall we do it again soon?âÂ
âI would really like that. Will I, um, will I be making any deliveries to you this week?âÂ
âI do have some floral supplies ordered.â
âGood.âÂ
They shared another lengthy kiss before he stepped back. âGoodnight, Emma.âÂ
âGoodnight, Killian.â Unlocking and opening her door, she threw him one last dazzling smile, then walked inside and closed it behind her.Â
He stood leaning against the wall for a few more moments, then blew out a breath and touched his fingers to his lips, remembering the way they tingled when they were touching hers.Â
********
In the following weeks, Emma and Killian called or texted each other daily, and went on several more dates, using every opportunity to get to know one another better. He looked forward to the days when she made a delivery to his house, since it gave him another chance to see her briefly.
It became more and more difficult for him to say goodbye to her at her apartment after their dates. Sometimes he would accept her invitation for hot chocolate and they would talk and kiss for an hour or so, but he never pushed it any further. He wanted her to know that he respected her and would wait until she decided the time was right to take their budding relationship to the next level.                                                     Â
Christmas was quickly approaching and the couple had been dating for nearly two months. Early one evening, Killian was beginning to worry when Emma wasnât answering his phone calls or texts. He knew it was past time for her to be home from work, and because there had been periods of freezing rain throughout the day, he started to imagine the worst when he thought of her having to drive her delivery route on icy roads.
He was pacing back and forth across the kitchen, hoping his phone would light up with her name, when headlights illuminated the room. Knowing there was only one person it could possibly be, he threw on a coat, hurried out the back door, and jogged down the steps.Â
She was bumping her car door closed with her hip as he reached her. âSwan, what are you doing here at this time of night? Is everything okay?âÂ
âEverything is fine. I just have a delivery to make.âÂ
âA delivery? I donât think Iâm expecting anything. What is it?âÂ
She took a step forward and ran her hands up his chest. âMe.âÂ
His eyebrows raised in surprise and it took a second for what she was saying to register. When it did, he put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer. âIs that right?âÂ
Looping her arms around his neck, she ghosted her lips against his as she said, âYes, it is.âÂ
âShall we go inside, Love?âÂ
She leaned back and looked into his eyes. âJust so weâre clear, Killian - when we go inside, I want more than one of our usual make-out sessions, no matter how much I enjoy them. Is that...is that okay with you?âÂ
âWell, it would be rather rude of me to reject such a special delivery,â he chuckled a little nervously. Then he grew more serious. âEmma, I...itâs been a long time since I was in any kind of relationship, and it didnât end well. I donât want to...to...what I mean isâŚâ
She took his hand and started leading him to the house. âLetâs talk inside. Iâm freezing.âÂ
After shedding their coats and boots, they sat together on the couch with their fingers intertwined. âWhat were you trying to tell me, Killian?â she asked, watching his thumb rub over her knuckle.Â
âThe last woman I dated broke my heart. Thatâs one of the main reasons why I made the decision to leave England all those years ago, and I havenât dated since. So what Iâm trying to say is, Iâm out of practice.âÂ
She twisted in her seat, and the next thing he knew, she had flung her leg over his lap and was straddling him. Her hands came up to the sides of his face and she leaned her forehead against his.Â
âIâve heard itâs like riding a bicycle,â she said. He chuckled and she sat back to look at him. âMy sexual experiences have been very few and far between, too, but we can figure it out together. If you want to, that is.âÂ
âOh, I want to, Emma - thatâs not the problem at all. Itâs just that, in the pastâŚâÂ
She put two fingers over his lips. âLet the past stay in the past - those are ghosts we canât control. This is now, and I want you. I know the scariest part is letting go, but Iâm yours to choose, so why donât you take whatâs right in front of you, Killian?âÂ
He contemplated what she said for less than two seconds before surging forward to engage her in a passionate kiss. It grew increasingly heated until he felt that if he didnât do something soon, he was going to internally combust.Â
He wrapped her securely in his arms and pushed to his feet, not breaking contact with her lips. Her legs automatically went around his waist and she moaned deeply into his mouth, causing him to nearly stumble.Â
His bedroom seemed so much farther away than the few steps it actually was, but when he finally made it to the edge of his bed, he eased her onto it gently. Then he stood looking down at her as she reached for him, her hair spread out in a tangled halo, her lips kiss-swollen, and her eyes dark with desire.Â
âKillian, please,â she panted, âI need you.âÂ
Her fingers scrambled for the button of his jeans before he stilled them with his hands. âI...I donât have any protection,â he admitted. âIâve been meaning to get some, butâŚâ
âIâm covered and clean. Been on the pill for months to regulate my cycle,â she explained, pulling her hands free. âDo you have any other excuses?âÂ
âNo, no excuses. There is just something I need to tell you. I know this may be too soon for you to hear, but I want to say it so you understand this isnât just a one-time thing, to scratch an itch.â
She swallowed hard as she looked into his eyes, the expression in them so intense she was almost afraid to find out what he was going to say. âWhat is it?â she managed to ask.
âI...Emma...Iâm in love with you,â he stated, tenderly brushing her hair away from her face.
âY-you are?â she squeaked.Â
âUtterly and completely. I think I have been ever since the moment you yelled at me during that first delivery you made. Iâve been wanting to tell you, but I didnât know how, and I didnât want to take this next step before I did.âÂ
âYou actually love me?â she asked, with disbelief lacing her words.
âAye, Sweetheart. I love your sense of humor, your determination, your boldness, and your stubborn streak.â She grinned at that. âI also love your ability to see past the walls Iâve built to keep people out, in order to see the lonely person inside. No one has ever made the effort to do that before.â He paused a moment, before continuing, âBut donât worry, Love. Iâm not telling you this to pressure you into sayingâŚâ
âI love you, Killian.âÂ
â...it,â he finished, a look of awe crossing his face. âDo you really?âÂ
âYes. At least, I think I do, if this is what being in love feels like. Iâve never felt it before. All I know is that I think about you all the timeâŚâ
âSame.âÂ
âAnd every time I talk to you, my heart races andâŚâÂ
âI canât stop smiling.âÂ
âExactly! And whenever you touch me, itâs like my skin is...isâŚâ
âLike an electrical current is running through it?âÂ
âYes! Is that what being in love feels like?âÂ
âI assume so. Iâve never been in love before, either.âÂ
Emma giggled adorably. âWell, now that weâre clear on how we feel about each other, what else is keeping you from ravaging me?âÂ
He grinned at her and ran his hands up her sides underneath her sweater. âJust this jumper,â he said as he pulled it over her head. âAnd these jeans, and bra, and...youâre wearing far too many clothes, Swan.âÂ
âHmmm, I guess we better do something about that. You have a lot of clothes on too, you know.âÂ
In a flash, she tackled him and had him on his back in the middle of the bed, while she knelt above him, undoing the fastener of his jeans and pulling the zipper down. He lifted his hips to help her tug them down his legs until he was in his boxers, and she licked her lips as she took in the sizable bulge he was sporting.Â
She felt his hair tickling her fingers when she ran them up his legs and into the openings of his underwear. One hand fondled his balls while the other found his shaft, stroking it lightly. Her eyes moved up his body to watch the effect she was having on him.Â
His eyes were closed and he was biting his lower lip. His hands reached up to grip the pillow under his head and he groaned, âBloody fuck, Emma! That...that feels so good!â
She continued running her hand along his velvety skin, stopping periodically to brush her thumb across his slit, until he gasped, âP-please stop, Love. I...I donât know if I can...hold back if you keep doing that.âÂ
She gave him one more gentle squeeze, then removed her hands and sat looking down at him with a smirk, before swinging around on the bed to yank off her socks. As she reached for the button of her jeans, he stopped her. âLet me do that, Love.âÂ
She hopped up off the bed to stand in front of him, clad only in her bra and jeans. âOkay, but I get to finish stripping you first.â Â
âAs you wish,â he conceded.Â
She pushed his flannel shirt off his shoulders and, once he pulled his arms free, lifted his henley over his head. Seeing that she still hadnât reached bare skin yet because of the white undershirt he wore, she blew out an exasperated breath.Â
âHoly shit, Jones! How many layers of clothes are you wearing?âÂ
âI live in Maine and itâs the middle of winter. What do you expect?âÂ
âI expect to get naked with you, but I didnât know it was gonna take until the New Year to get you there!âÂ
He laughed as she grabbed the hem of the T-shirt to drag it up his body. Her eyes danced with delight as she took in his muscular chest with its generous peppering of hair. He tried not to squirm as she lightly ran her fingers through it and stroked along his ribcage.Â
âYouâre gorgeous,â she breathed, watching her fingers as they moved.Â
âNot nearly as much as you,â he responded, bringing his hands up to spread them over her sides, and rubbing his thumbs under the elastic of her bra. As his hands slid around to the back of it, he looked up at her through his lashes. âMay I?âÂ
She nodded and held her breath as he made quick work of the fasteners, then she pulled her arms through and let the bra drop to the floor. Â
Killian lovingly caressed her breasts, strumming his thumbs across her nipples, which hardened immediately under his ministrations. âBeautiful,â he whispered.Â
He bent to take one of her pebbled nipples between his lips, running his tongue across it, then sucking lightly. When it garnered a gasp and soft moan from her, he sucked harder, while his left hand squeezed and fondled the other breast.Â
Emmaâs eyes closed and her head dropped back as she enjoyed the sensations passing through her body. Her fingers found their way to his hair and she scratched through it, giving little tugs to the ends.Â
Every sigh and utterance went straight to his groin and soon he was even harder than her stroking had left him. He moved his mouth down her stomach before realizing she was still wearing her jeans. He fumbled with the button for a few seconds before she reached down and undid it herself.Â
âSo impatient,â he growled, undoing the zipper and shoving her jeans past her hips.Â
She peeled them off, stepped out of them and kicked them aside, as his hands moved around to squeeze her ass, while he nibbled on her hip. She went to work in earnest to completely wreck his hair.Â
âTouch me, Killian,â she begged. Â
He hooked his fingers into the sides of her panties and quickly disposed of them, inhaling deeply to take in the heady scent of her arousal. Now that he had her completely naked, he guided her back to the bed, encouraging her to lay down.Â
Before she did, Emma helped him remove his boxers. She knew by feeling him that he was well-endowed, but seeing it made her eyes widen. âThatâs quite a package youâve got there, buddy.âÂ
He laughed. âI hope youâll enjoy the delivery I make to you!â he said with a lopsided grin, causing her to roll her eyes playfully.Â
Finally lowering herself to the bed, she scooted back and laid down. He aligned himself beside her, looking into her face. âYou are truly a very beautiful woman, my love,â he said, before leaning in for a sweet and tender kiss.Â
He ran his fingers across her collarbone, along the side of her breast, and down her ribcage. She giggled a bit at the tickling sensation and then drew in a quick breath as his fingers pressed between her thighs. She automatically widened them to allow him better access and moaned as he swiped through her slick folds.
âSo...so wet, Swan,â he declared, watching his fingers stroke her, picking up more of her creamy essence on each pass.Â
âMmhmm. K-Killian, please. Get inside me. Make me...make me come,â she whimpered.Â
In response, he tentatively pushed a finger into her heat.
âMoreâŚâ she encouraged.Â
Nodding, he pulled out and added a second on the next gentle thrust. âHow does that feel, Love?âÂ
âInsanely good,â she gasped, placing her hand over his, urging him to go deeper.Â
He continued working her up while his mouth kissed up her body to give attention to her breast.Â
Her head was rolling side-to-side on the pillow, her eyes closed and her mouth open to emit short panting breaths. He could feel her legs begin to quake as she drew them up and let them fall open, allowing him more freedom to explore.Â
âCan you take more?â he asked quietly.Â
Unable to form words at the moment, she simply nodded her head up and down. He pulled his glistening fingers free, knocking her hand away, and slowly pressed three fingers into her, watching her face carefully to discern any discomfort. Once they were completely enveloped in her welcoming heat, he twisted and curled them, then rolled his thumb over her bundle of nerves.Â
The effect was immediate and intense as her walls squeezed his fingers and she cried out, âYes! Killian!âÂ
He continued to stroke her as her body gradually relaxed, and his mouth latched onto her nipple again, sucking and licking to help draw out her ecstasy a bit longer.Â
When she finally came down from her high, she opened her eyes. âYou call that being out of practice?â she teased.Â
He slid his fingers out of her and dragged them up her body, leaving a trail of her arousal which he followed with his tongue. Reaching her mouth at last, he uttered against her lips, âPerhaps it IS like riding a bicycle,â then plunged his tongue into her mouth.Â
After overcoming her surprise at the sudden intrusion, she gave back as good as she got, filling the room with sounds of clashing teeth, smacking lips, heartfelt moans, and heavy breathing. He settled his body over hers and her legs came up to encircle his hips.Â
Feeling her wet, hot, heat rubbing against his cock, he began grinding to add some friction. âFuck, Emma! Feels so good!â he panted. âI need more!â
 She desperately nodded. âYes, pleeease!â
Loosening her legs, she let them fall to the mattress, giving him room to maneuver.Â
âGuide me, Love,â he requested, dropping his forearms to rest on either side of her.Â
Taking the opportunity to run her hands through the soft hair on his chest again, she slid them down his body to his fully erect member, drawing the head through her abundant slickness.Â
Killian was struggling not to thrust into her hand and come before he even had the chance to get inside her. âI...I love you, Emma,â he gasped. âLet me show you how much.âÂ
Without wasting another second, she positioned him at her opening, then moved her hands to his ass, squeezing it encouragingly. He began to enter her at an achingly slow pace and when she looked up, she could see the cords of his neck standing out, his head thrown back, teeth clenched, and eyes closed tightly.Â
âDonât hold back, Babe,â she pleaded. âJust let go. You wonât...you wonât hurt me.âÂ
He pulled back until just his tip was still within her, then thrust his hips forward to enter her more deeply. Repeating this motion a few more times, he finally stilled balls deep and dropped his head to her chest.Â
âBloody hell, you feel amazing, Love! I could live the rest of my life right here!âÂ
âThat...that might be a bit...inconvenient, but...I wouldnât object!â she stammered.Â
He gripped her shoulders from underneath and began to move, slowly at first, but picking up speed as the sensations started to overwhelm him. She bent her knees and drew her legs up alongside his body and the new angle added to the pleasure.Â
With every snap of his hips, her breath caught, her hands roaming up and down his back and buttocks, her nails scratching against his skin, which heightened his arousal and drove him toward the edge faster than he wanted.Â
âEmma...I canât...Iâm going toâŚâÂ
âMe...too!â Her knees tightened around him and her hips raised off the bed, her legs shaking with her impending release.Â
He plunged into her once more and suddenly she was flying. The throbbing of her walls along his swollen cock was his undoing, and with another thrust, he joined her. Feeling his release washing through her, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him against her and letting their sweat mingle as their hearts beat erratically in their chests.Â
âI love you,â she murmured, her lips finding their way to the hollow of his throat, then nuzzling into the juncture of his shoulder.Â
He rolled them over to reverse their positions and wrapped her securely in his arms. âI love you, too.âÂ
As their breathing evened out and their bodies cooled, Killian reached down to find the blanket and pulled it over both of them. âMmmm, can I just stay here all night?â she mumbled sleepily.Â
âI think thatâs a grand idea, Love.âÂ
She lifted her head to look into his face. âDo you mean it?âÂ
âI can think of nothing I want more than to hold you in my arms for the rest of the night, my love.âÂ
âYou know I have to work tomorrow, donât you? Itâs the Christmas season so weâre swamped.âÂ
âIâll wake you early so you can get to work on time.â
âDeal, but be warned - Iâm not a morning person.âÂ
âIâll be cautious.âÂ
They fell silent for several minutes while she enjoyed the soothing movement of his hands kneading the skin of her back. She was just starting to doze off when his voice rumbled against the top of her head. âDoes it have to be just for tonight?âÂ
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âWill you...could you make a special delivery to me again tomorrow night?â
She rested her chin on his sternum and grinned up at him. âI think I could do that.âÂ
âI can pick you up, so you donât have to drive all the way out here by yourself.âÂ
âThatâs not necessary. Iâm used to doing things by myself.âÂ
âBut you donât have to, Emma. You...we...arenât alone anymore.âÂ
A smile lit up her face. âThatâs true. We have each other now.â
âThat we do, and you are always welcome here. I want you here - as often as possible.âÂ
âYou might regret that offer.âÂ
âNever.âÂ
She sighed happily and laid her head back on his chest. âThank you, Killian.âÂ
âFor what, Love?âÂ
âFor opening your heart to me and making me feel wanted, beautiful, special and loved.â
âYou are all of those things, Sweetheart.âÂ
He could feel her smile against his skin. âAnd for giving me a place to belong,â she added.Â
âYou belong right here,â he said, patting the spot over his heart. âI want to thank you too, Emma, for taking a chance on me, by giving me your heart and blessing me with your love. I feel very lucky, and obviously less lonely, having you in my life. When I think of the hell I had to walk through, I wouldnât trade a day of it, because it led me to you.âÂ
She raised her head again and her lips found his for a long, languid kiss. âI know what you mean, and I feel the same way, too; no longer lonely and very lucky to have found you,â she whispered afterwards.Â
They decided it would be a good idea to clean up a bit before going to sleep, so he led her into the bathroom. When they returned to the bedroom, he pulled on flannel sleep pants, and offered her the matching shirt, which she tugged over her head.Â
As he pulled open a dresser drawer to grab another, Emma put a hand on his arm to stop him. âIt might be the middle of winter, but itâs a shame to cover up that sexy chest hair. I promise Iâll keep you warm,â she said with a sly grin.
He didnât argue, knowing that he would give her anything her heart desired. They climbed back into bed and shared some sweet kisses, then Emma turned onto her left side and reached back to find his arm, wrapping it around herself and pulling it up between her breasts. He scooted closer and pressed himself against her back, sighing contentedly as he buried his nose in her hair.Â
âI love you, Emma. Iâll see you in the morning,â he murmured.
She yawned before replying, âI love you, too, Killian. Goodnight.âÂ
As they drifted off to sleep in each otherâs arms, their hearts a perfect match, that night became the first of the rest of their lives together; a new beginning for both of them, never to be lonely again. Â
*********
I hope you love the story, Saj! Happiest of birthdays to you!
Self-promo Sunday - Reception Redos and Jellymoons, Chapter 5
This is the final chapter of my canon compliant story in which Emma and Killian get the reception and honeymoon they deserved. You can find the rest of the story on Tumblr: Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch4
Or you can read it on ffn or Ao3
I have nearly 4 of ??? chapters written for my new Modern AU CS story titled âFor the Sake of Henryâ. I was planning to have it completely finished before I begin posting, but may start sooner once I have a bit more written, then post every other week or so. Iâm still trying to decide and would appreciate input from readers as to which they prefer.Â
But for now, enjoy Chapter 5 of âReception Redos and Jellymoonsâ!
Rated: T
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Emma was a little disappointed the next morning when they didnât wake up until late in the morning.Â
âI was looking forward to seeing the sunrise,â she sighed.Â
Killian kissed the crease that her frown was making between her eyebrows. âWe have plenty of mornings to see it, Darling,â he soothed. âSleeping in is enjoyable also, especially when weâve been up rather late the last few nights.â He smirked at her and wiggled his eyebrows.Â
âYeah, youâre right, but I wouldnât change any of it,â Emma smiled, stretching her arms above her head.Â
After breakfast, they went exploring around the island. Every time they crested a hill or turned in a different direction, they saw another breathtaking view. They found several small waterfalls and were glad that they had worn their swimsuits under their clothes, so they could take advantage of the clear pools of water that were at the bottom of the falls.Â
Early that evening found them relaxing together in the hammock. Killian had his right arm wrapped around Emmaâs shoulder while she grasped the end of his left, stroking soft fingers across the scars there. This was nothing new to him as she had made it a habit of doing so, seeming to find it soothing for both of them.Â
It had taken him a long time to ever let her see his damaged wrist because heâd always thought it to be ugly and repulsive. After Rumplestiltskin had taken off his hand, Smee had done his best to close the wound. Despite his efforts, he wasnât skilled as a physician, so the scars were thick and jagged. They were a reminder to Killian of all that he had lost that fateful day on his ship, and how it had caused him to turn to a life bent on getting his revenge.Â
When Emma had finally seen his arm without the brace, she had shown no signs of revulsion. She had simply studied it briefly before placing a kiss on his wrist. Ever since then, he had gotten more and more comfortable with letting her touch it. Over time, she had fallen into the habit of rubbing her fingers sweetly and lovingly over the raised scars. Every time she did, he marveled at the kind and caring woman that he had fallen in love with. Â
âWhen we first met, would you have ever imagined that we would end up married, Love?â he asked.Â
âYou mean before or after I held a knife to your throat, and then left you chained up with a giant at the top of a beanstalk?â
Killian chuckled. âI think you were just trying to hide your feelings for me.â
âOh yeah, thatâs definitely what I was doing,â Emma snorted. âBut to answer your question, no I wouldnât have imagined it. My walls to protect my heart were so high at that time that I didnât think anyone would be able to scale them. Falling in love wasnât something that I ever expected to do, but I guess true love canât be denied.â
Emmaâs fingers moved their way up Killianâs body to rest below his heart, rubbing over the scar that lay there. This was another spot that she was drawn to caress, almost always sighing deeply as she remembered the anguish that sheâd felt when she drove Excaliber through his body. No matter how many times he told her that sheâd done the right thing, she still found it hard to forgive herself.Â
He decided that a change of topic was in order, to pull his wife away from memories that sometimes overwhelmed her and started her thinking about regrets that she had.Â
âWhat shall we do tomorrow, my love?âÂ
âWell, I really do want to see the sunrise.â Killian nodded in acknowledgement. âThen I think maybe we should try out those kayaks that we found in the storage shed. The one stream that we saw today would be perfect for that, donât you think?â She twisted her head to look up at him.Â
He nodded again and then kissed the tip of her nose. âSounds like a plan.â
******
On their third morning on the island, Emma and Killian took a long walk along the beach to enjoy the sunrise. As they neared the house on their way back, Emma pulled her husband with her as she plopped down on the sand.Â
âCan we just sit here for a little while before we go in to get breakfast?â
âYour heartâs desire, Swan. I promise thatâs all I want you to have.â He leaned over to kiss her cheek, then turned his eyes to the clear, blue water. âPerhaps this will be the morning that the dolphins make their appearance.â
Emma sighed. âI hope so.â As her eyes searched the horizon, she asked, âWhat animal would you say is your favorite?â
âI quite fancy the swan.â
Emma scoffed and bumped her shoulder into his. âI was being seriousâ
âAs am I. I find them to be remarkable creatures. Have you ever seen a cygnet? Theyâre rather pathetic little things.â
 âYeah, I know. Ugly Duckling, remember?â
âAye, but they develop into elegant, magnificent animals. Itâs lovely to see them gliding across the water, so gorgeous and strong, but needing the strength and support of their feet paddling below them to keep them afloat. Threaten a swanâs territory, and it becomes a fierce fighter, capable of defeating foes larger than itself.â
Killian was always eloquent in what he said, but in this instance, he was eloquent in what he wasnât saying. She realized his description was a metaphor of her life. She was seemingly orphaned and unwanted as a child, but once she found her home, she fought fiercely for her family and those she loved. Of course, she had the support of her son, her parents, the townspeople, and now her husband.Â
She affectionately bumped against his shoulder again, before leaning her head on it. The couple continued to sit quietly, watching the waves and feeling the sun warm their faces. After a while, Killian could tell by the rhythm of Emmaâs breathing that she had dozed off. Suddenly, he caught something out of the corner of his eye.
âSwan, wake up,â he whispered urgently, as if speaking out loud would break the spell.Â
She stirred beside him. âWhat is it?â she asked groggily.Â
âLook!â He pointed off to their left.Â
Emma directed her eyes to where he was pointing and gave a loud gasp. âDolphins! Oh Killian! There they are!âÂ
She jumped to her feet and clasped her hands under her chin. Killian stood up beside her, watching the dolphins leaping and playing in the water. Then after a few moments, he turned his head to look at his wife. She stood mesmerized, wearing one of the biggest smiles heâd ever seen on her face. With the sun making her face glow and the breeze off the water blowing wisps of her hair into a halo around her head, he didnât think he had ever seen her look more beautiful.Â
******
The next day, Killian finished cleaning up the kitchen after their lunch and then went outside to find his wife. She was sitting on the porch swing with a wistful look on her face. Without saying a word, he held a small seashell out to her.
âWhatâs this for?â Emma asked.
âCall Henry,â he said simply.
âYou brought a shell phone along?â
âAye, and Henry has the other one. I knew that you would miss the lad too much to go three weeks without any contact with him. He promised that he would carry the shell with him at all times so he wouldnât miss your call.â
Emma eagerly took the shell and started calling Henryâs name into it. He answered almost immediately and Emma started peppering him with questions about his trip and his well-being.Â
Killian sat and listened to his wifeâs conversation with his stepson. It sounded like he was enjoying the trip immensely. Henry said that they had spent quite a bit of the first day or so in the car, which had led to some temper tantrums and meltdowns, but then Zelena had gotten herself under control pretty quickly. Emma couldnât help letting out a loud laugh when he told her about that.Â
When Henry finally signed off, Emma threw her arms around her husband, squeezing him tightly. âYou really are the best, you know that?â
âYes I do,â he replied cheekily.Â
******
The days flew by while the couple enjoyed one adventure after another. The dolphins swam by regularly, almost as if they were swimming laps around the island and passed by them about every third morning. A few times they came close enough to shore for the humans to enjoy swimming among them. This thrilled Emma to no end, which caused Killian to be extremely happy as well.Â
They took some short day trips on the Jolly Roger, visiting with Ariel and Eric one day, and making use of four more of the magic beans to travel to Arendelle and Agrabah to see their friends in those kingdoms.Â
Finally the day of their designated departure came. They rose early to catch one final sunrise from the east porch, fixed a quick breakfast, then started packing. After loading everything onto the Jolly Roger, they did a final check around the house and grounds to be sure that they were leaving everything in the same condition as they had found it.Â
After they verified that things were clean and neatly stored, Killian boarded their ship to begin getting it ready to sail. Emma started up the gangplank behind him, and then turned and looked longingly at the place that they had made their home for the last three weeks. It was their own little piece of paradise and she was certainly going to miss it. She never wouldâve believed that she could relax and enjoy herself as much as she had, but her husband had surprised her yet again by finding a place where they could forget all the stress and drama in Storybrooke.Â
Now it was back to the real world of ringing telephones at the sheriffâs office, late night patrols in freezing temperatures, and finding lost dogs. Of mornings at the diner listening to Leroy complain about the bacon taking too long while Granny threatened him with her crossbow, babysitting her screaming brother while her parents enjoyed a night out, chaperoning dances at the High School, and listening to the groaning pipes in their house when she turned on the kitchen faucet.Â
It was also back to cozy Saturday mornings wrapped up in her husbandâs arms in their own bed, laughing at his stories while they patrolled the town, and walks down to the dock to check on the Jolly. Back to watching her dad work on their farm with Wilby running around him in circles, and listening to her mom tell about the antics of her students at school as she baked cookies, while Emma rocked a sleeping Baby Neal. And back to Henry.Â
âAre you ready, Love?â Killian asked, coming down the ramp to meet her.Â
Emma turned and looked at him. His eyes showed a bit of concern as he gave her a small nod and smile. She reached out to take his hand.
âYeah. Letâs go home.â
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I hope you enjoyed this story. It was my first MC and holds a special place in my heart. Thank you for reading, commenting and reblogging!Â