“What?” The rag in Steve’s hand muffles the flustered question as he cleans the slight blood and dirt off his face from the hothead’s attack. Bucky’s more than amused.

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel (Movies) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s), Steve Rogers/Original Male Character(s), Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Bruce Banner, Nick Fury Additional Tags: Torture, Rape Aftermath, Panic Attacks, No Healing Cock, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, Banter, Eventual Happy Ending Summary:

Flashes of images and pieces of sounds drifted at the back of his mind, and Steve couldn't for the life of him tell if they were part of things that really happened or just mere hallucinations brought on whatever by drug they had injected into his system. All he knew was his neck was sore, he was bare ass nude, and he was chained to the wall.

Elena/Steve

Makes the bed in the mornings: Elena, probably. She’s inclined to neaten things as she goes, because it’s easier to come back to later.

Has sole possession of the T.V. remote: They trade, in theory. In practice, Steve ends up with it for at least three months leading up to Christmas, and Elena claims it for the month of February (so she can watch terrible slasher films, preferably the ‘everyone ends up dead’ variety.)

Is the bigger cuddler: Steve. Elena doesn’t mind cuddles, necessarily, but it’s largely Steve to initiate.

Does the laundry: They split it; Steve sorts and loads, Elena folds and puts away.

Mows the lawn: When and if they have a lawn, Steve does it. Elena refuses on principle, preferring to let it grow wild.

Shops for groceries: Given that they mostly live in New York City, Elena has a habit of having groceries delivered. She’s never liked shopping, and less so when she doesn’t have to.

Comes home drunk at 3am: Can either of them get drunk? Steve’s all super-soldier and ‘Lena is  Russian and a sometimes spy, so…

Makes breakfast: Steve. For months when their relationship started, he kept trying to make her breakfast in bed, but by the time he’d come back she was up, showered and dressed, and had made the bed.

Remembers to feed the fish: Elena refuses pets, so if Steve wants ‘em, he’s in charge of ‘em. 

Decorates the apartment: Also Steve. Elena prefers things pretty bare and personality-free. That said, once they’re a couple she makes sure there’s something to appeal to him in all her places.

Initiates duets: Elena, typically. Not on purpose, though, Steve just tends to join in when he catches her singing.

Falls asleep first: Elena, for the first time in her life probably. She’d never admit it, but she feels safer sleeping with him around.

Mikel/Teazer

Makes the bed in the mornings: Mikel. Drilled into it, most likely, but there you are. Teazer’s never really had a bed, so she doesn’t see the point of making one.

Has sole possession of the T.V. remote: Mikel, technically. But Teazer’s perfected the art of throwing things at the tv to change the channel.

Is the bigger cuddler: Teazer. Always and forever, although she’s determined to train him into it.

Does the laundry: Mikel, mostly by virtue of having enough clothes to be laundered. (Teazer’s resist dirt and wrinkles pretty spectacularly.)

Mows the lawn: Neither of them have ever had a lawn to be mowed. If ever they did, though, Teazer’d probably make Mikel do it… while she sat in the shade with a glass of lemonade.

Shops for groceries: Teazer shoplifts for groceries. Mikel actually pays for things. Mostly they pick up things when and as they need them.

Comes home drunk at 3am: On the rare occasions when they get to drink to that point, they do so in their own home in the first place and together.

Makes breakfast: Mikel. Teazer is more of a baker than a cook, so she’s officially in charge of special occasion snacks and once-a-week cookies.

Remembers to feed the fish: They don’t keep fish after the Incident with Mikel’s betas. Teazer regrets nothing.

Decorates the apartment: Teazer. With bizarre things she’s found in alleys and weird spots, too.

Initiates duets: Teazer. And if Mikel doesn’t join in, she’ll sing both parts.

Falls asleep first: They drop off about the same time, but they’re both very light sleepers for the most part.

Teazer/Loki (shush you, I love this ship very unreasonably)

Makes the bed in the mornings: Loki. (And mostly with magic, because why the hell not?)

Has sole possession of the T.V. remote: Teazer tends to get it, since she wants to watch Lifetime movies; Loki spends more time watching her reactions than the movies themselves.

Is the bigger cuddler: Teazer. And as always, is working endlessly at training Loki to cuddle back.

Does the laundry: Magic yet again. (And Teazer suspects that Loki’s just swiping new clothes from somewhere every time his get dirty.)

Mows the lawn: Their lawn has always been made up of wildflowers.

Shops for groceries: Mostly Teazer; Loki doesn’t like to bother. She’s made a game of seeing how much of it she can get away with unpaid for.

Comes home drunk at 3am: Teazer’s done it a couple times. Loki just laughs at her mostly, but somehow there’s always hangover remedy on the bedside table when she wakes up.

Makes breakfast: Loki. He likes cooking; says it’s soothing.

Remembers to feed the fish: Loki at least knows better than to have fish in a house with a cat…

Decorates the apartment: Teazer, same as above. Loki will go through periodically and make things look a little more classy/tasteful/coordinated.

Initiates duets: Teazer. Loki has a surprisingly good singing voice, when she can get him to sing with her.

2:Ever been in love?

I have no fucking idea. Maybe? 4:How tall are you?

4'11" 6:Any tattoos do you want?

Yep. 8:OTP?

Off the top of my head... Rumpleteazer/Mikel Fury. 10:Favorite bands?

Amanda Palmer (and all her incarnations). Faun. Erutan. 12:Favorite song?

Ampersand. S'by Amanda Palmer. 14:Zodiac sign?

Aries. 16:Favorite Quote?

I don't think I have one... 18:Favorite colour?

Green. 20:Where do you go when you're sad?

To the theater, if I can manage it. 22:How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Twenty minutes, tops. 24:Turn on?

n/a 26:The reason I joined Tumblr?

Boredom? Or Shebby. Possibly a combination thereof. 28:Last thing that made you cry?

Panic attack. 30:Meaning behind your url

Is Rumpleteazer. 32:Last song you listened to?

A Formidable Marinade.   34:Last person you talked to?

My little brother. 36:Favorite food?

Ice cream. 38:Last place you were?

That... is a weird question and I don't know how to answer it. 40:Last time you kissed someone?

'Bout a year ago now. 42:What color underwear are you wearing?

Black. 44:What color bottoms are you wearing?

Red and white. (They're coca-cola boxers. I'm awesome.) 46:Last sport you played?

Soccer. In elementary school... 48:Last prank call you remember doing?

I never have, actually. 50:Favorite movie?

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

Nope. Too much younger. (Though I suppose it’d depend on the person?)4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I do, all the time. 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Yes.8. How often do you listen to music?

Hours, every day. Keeps me sane (ish).10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

…12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

Nope.14. Can you drive a stick shift?

I can’t drive, full stop. So no.16. Are you going out of town soon?

God I hope so.18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Yes.20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

There are limits, but basically. The stupid jerk…22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

Depends on context. And the “boy” in question.24. What are you sitting on right now?

I’m not; I’m stretched out on the floor by the couch.26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yes and no. Define “wanted”?28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Nope.30. Does anyone hate you?

Yes. Doesn’t bother me like it used to, though.32. Do you like watching scary movies?

Yes. But then I get freaked out by the world in general when they’re over.34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

Freshman year of high school, yo.36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Fairly recently. Like, within a few weeks.38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Not the way you mean (oh Anonymous Quiz Writer), but yes.40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

No.42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

Today’s… Tuesday? No, I won’t.44. What’s the best part about school?

It ended. (And the people I met, I guess…)46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

I did, yes. Saved a bunch, too… they’re pretty priceless.48. Were you single over the last summer?

Yep.50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Writing… >_>52. Are you nice to everyone?

By and large. Sometimes I slip. Especially when I’m mad.54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Duh.56. Do you think you like someone?

Again, not the way you mean, but yes.58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

I prefer to be friends with my People. Who are sometimes girls and sometimes boys and sometimes both or neither. But always weird.60. Do you hate anyone?

Yes.62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Few thins, yeah.64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

I don’t know and I don’t /want/ to know.66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

I like to hope not…68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

Nope.70. How do you look right now?

Sorta gpffic, I guess? And overheated.72. Can you commit to one person?

I don’t know why not.74. Have you ever felt replaced?

Yes.76. Are you a jealous person?

Kinda, yeah. I try to squish it, but it doesn’t want to go away…78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Trying to. Failing so far.80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Work. Write. Not die of heat stroke.82. Is there someone you will never forget?

Several someones.84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

Snuggles! And ice cream. And potentially adventure. But mostly snuggles.86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Yep.88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

Yes. And then I would call the men in the white coats, because he clearly has lost his mind.90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yep.92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

My husband from a past life! (No, really. I love him very much, and we are So Married.)94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

Nope.96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

Yes. (Why assume I would lie? Rude, Anonymous Quiz Writer. Very rude. I’m hurt…)98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Depends on the person. Mostly I continue to be a Good Listener as they talk about the other person. 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

Mama Thor.102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

1. What house will you be in?

Ravenclaw? Or Hufflepuff…

2. If the sorting hat was on you and it said you’d be great in a house you didn’t consider before, will you follow his advice or choose what house you want?

I… think I’d follow the advice. Kinda assume the hat’d know me better than I know me.

3. What kind of animal would you bring to school?

Kitty!

4. If you were in class, where would you normally sit?

In the back corner, most likely. S’where I normally sit.

5. What do you think you’ll be doing right now?

Erm… what? Like, in class? Doodling. At this point in the year it’s summer hols, though, so…7. Do you think you’ll be part of the quidditch team?

*falls over laughing* Hell no.9. Will you go home during holidays?

Nah. Hogwarts is cooler.11. What will you pack for school?

Clothes and a teddy bear. And once I can use magic outside of school, /all/ of my books.13. Would you consider studying in another wizarding school?

Definitely! 15. Are you going to be a pure-blood or half-blood or muggle-born?

Half-blood. Mum’s a witch, dad’s as muggle as they get.17. Will you be a student who gets into trouble a lot?

Nah. I’ve never really been one to get in trouble.19. On hogsmeade visits, what shops will you go to?

All of ‘em! At least at first. Then mostly candy and books.21. Will you read Hogwarts:A History?

Yes. But not to the point of memorization.23. Will you subscribe to the daily prophet or the quibbler or other wizarding world media?

Any I can get my hands on, but especially the Quibbler.25. When sleeping in your dormitory, will your four-poster bed’s curtains be drawn or closed?

Closed. Definitely closed. And soundproofed… and lightproofed… gods yes. Now I really wanna be a witch with a curtained bed.27. Do you think you’ll be a fan of wizard music?

Probably. Though I’ll have to figure out how to smuggle my ipod in/make it work in Hogwarts, because I legit can’t survive without my Amanda Palmer.29. How frequent will your visits to the library be?

Very. Especially if there’s non-reference books. I want wizard novels, damnit.31. If you were to get detention, what task would you prefer? Would you want to scrub cauldrons or clean trophies or sort through unlabeled books or…?

Sorting books would be a bad idea; I’d start reading and never get anywhere. Cleaning trophies wouldn’t be bad, though. Cauldron scrubbing would be a bit hit or miss. Gag reflex and all.

33. How about in your n.e.w.t.s (what subjects will you get an O in, which ones will you get a T in)?

I think I’d be good at Charms. And probably Potions. Rubbish at History of Magic, though, and not so good with the DADA practical.35. At what time do you think you’ll go to bed on weekdays?

As early as I have to to get up for class. Same’s I do now.37. What wizard snack would be your favorite? Or which one would you like to try?

I want pumpkin pasties. I really /really/ want pumpkin pasties. Beyond that… I’d like to try actual butterbeer. (Also firewhiskey shhh.)39. Will you keep track of which flavor of beans you already tried?

I refuse to go near those things.41. What classes will you take for n.e.w.t.s?

Potions, Charms, DADA (it’s useful), Transfiguration, Ancient Runes, and potentially Herbology.43. Will you stay in the hog’s head or the three broomsticks?

Three Broomsticks, please.45. What do you think happens during graduation?

… no idea. Seriously. Not a clue.47. If you were invited to join the slug club, will you accept the invitation?

Depends who else was in. If I had friends to have a laugh with, then definitely.49. What would your patronus be?

A cat, probably. Or a wolf. Or potentially an otter. What determines them, do we know?51. What year are you suppose to be in right now?

Who would be the big spoon?

Whoever wasn’t having nightmares, is the sad answer. By and large, I think Elena prefers to be big spoon.

Who would wake up first?

Elena, I should think. She’s got a thing for making coffee and watching the sunrise.

Do they have nicknames for each other?

She calls him ridiculous things in Russian, or in French. I can imagine him doing the same to her, really. And periodically they’ll get all sweet and gooey over each other.

What happened when they met each other’s parents/families?

I don’t feel like this one applies? And I don’t know yet what happens when Elena’s mother turns up, but I’m pretty sure she’d keep Steve well out of it.

How do they apologise after an argument?

In the most gushy romantic way possible. Flowers and chocolates are involved.

What would they be like as parents?

Awesome, actually. ‘Lena is really good with kids (mainly because she refuses to treat them as kids), and I suspect Steve would be as well. Also, any kid of theirs would be way over-qualified in self-defense.

Who is the better cook?

They’re about equal. Steve’s more of a baker, ‘Lena is amazingly good at anything that involves meat, and between them they’re well capable of proper meals.

Who is more romantic?

Steve. Elena has her moments, but definitely Steve.

What sort of gifts do they get for each other?

Elena tends toward little things, mostly practical, in a “he mentioned this so why not” sort of way. Steve does the same thing, but more along the lines of sparklies and really nice kitchen supplies.

Who gets jealous easiest?

They’ve got a relationship based on communication (well, eventually they do. Shh.), and so jealousy isn’t really a big thing for them. It’s an open relationship too, if only because of who they are and the company they keep.

Who gets more excited for events e.g.. Birthdays, Christmas?

Elena loves Christmas. Come the beginning of December, the house is Decorated, and she’s humming carols all over the place and driving everyone bonkers. Steve is an anniversary kind of person. As in, third anniversary of the day we met, but also as in three week anniversary of the first time we made pancakes.

Who is the most protective?

Steve. ‘Lena will kick ass when she needs to, but Steve worries. All the time.

How do they sleep (separate, snuggled up, chaotically tangled)?

More often than not, they start out on opposite sides of the bed and eventually end up curled around each other. 

What would they have been like as childhood sweethearts?

Adorable. Elena was always getting into trouble of some sort, and dragging poor tiny Steve along with her. She’d have been fiercely protective of him, too, and force everyone to be nice to him because he was all sickly and little.

Do they have any “small” traditions/gestures?

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Amanda Palmer. I’ve come so close a few times, but circumstances keep conspiring.

4) What do you think about most?

Erm… Hugs, I think. Mine, characters’, both. 

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

With. My cat is a perv, and my family isn’t good at respecting doors.

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

Girls just wanna have fun. *wanders off singing* 

Boys are adorable, if a trifle ridiculous.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking. In order to get somewhere that is indoors. Unless it’s thundering, in which case dancing.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Greatest weakness: I don’t wanna say neediness, but… yeah.

Greatest strength: Level-headedness and sheer stubborn loyalty.

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope. Can’t swim, and also I’m not pleased with being clothingless.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

Several. I like random knick-knacks, and posters/wall things, and stuffed animals.

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Yes, actually. Or rather, happy with the person I’m becoming. It’s a work in progress.

36) Define Art.

Life, love, and human connection.

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Nope. Can’t stand it.

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

Asexual bi-romantic.

52) What is your astrological sign?

Aries. Though I’ve never really subscribed to that sort of thing.

56) In a relationship?

Nope. Only in daydreams.

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Erm. Sometimes? I like me most of the time.

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

I guess? It depends on what kind of insanity, I think.

80) What size shoes do you wear?

Somewhere between a five and a half and a six and a half. Up to seven and a half in boots.

82) What is your favorite word?

Depends on my mood. I do really like “fuck”, though.

84) What is a saying you say a lot?