#captainkenwaysfolly

Aries: (Me: don’t drink any more) “Why not? You’re not God.”

Taurus: “(Trying to freestyle) Uh, Chunky chicken, catch me in the kitchen.”

Gemini: “I had an idea for a bread company and I can sell loaves without the ends and call it ‘endless bread’ and sell ones where it’s all the ends and call it ‘end of everything’“

Cancer: “I’m really glad you don’t just put me through some kind of terrifying social experiment, because that would be…stress. I’d be a slimy stress boy”

Leo: “(hands me a bottle of wine, and a bag with lube and condoms) Here, take the sex groceries”

Virgo: “Some of y’all should stan shutting the fuck up”

Libra: “Libras aren’t valid”

Scorpio: “I’m Hell made human”

Sagittarius: “A donkey is just a horse with integrity”

Capricorn: “We’re g-g-g-goofy and g-g-g-gay”

Aquarius: “Even if god never existed, this would still be a sin”

My bf: what is it?

Me: look at this

Him: *looks*

Me: *dabs*

tagged by: itookthehobbitstoisengard

Thanks for the questions guys!!

Tagged by: helloitsabbie

What are the top 5 things on your bucket list? - go see mount st helens, take a long ass road trip somewhere, visit hawaii, learn to surf, see the northern lights (i couldn't really decided on a top five so these are the first five a could think of) The worst gift you’ve ever received? - probably the diet cook book my mum got me this year, apparently it just a really good recipes in, even if that is true you just don't get someone a diet book just no Favourite animal? - monkeys Which fictional character do you wish was real? - probably April Ludgate so i could force her to be best friends with me but eventually she would come to love me and see me as her best friend as well What is the worst/most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done when drunk? - ummm idk maybe throw up in my bed If you won a £1000 gift card for any shop, what shop would you choose? - probs like urban outfitters or topshop What language do you wish you were fluent in? - french  How many countries have you been to? - not including the UK, like 8.. i think.. Favourite coffee shop? - coffee shops are expensive and i prefer tea so i don't really have a fav, if i want to go to one i'll just go to the nearest one What was the last thing you dressed up as for fancy dress? - ooo i think it was Drogon (the red dragon in game of thrones)

Tagged by: i-wanna-be-selena-g

Last thing that made you laugh? - this > https://24.media.tumblr.com/f2f8fb7a1133f7a84545c950b9aec622/tumblr_mwhybucHsx1qljj91o1_400.gif Funniest story you have from work/school? - um idk someone had a wank in RE once Last thing you put in your mouth? - cup full of water Favourite place you’ve visited? - um San Francisco  Place you would most like to visit? - Hawaii or Iceland Any tattoos or piercings? - just got my ears pierced Any obscure talents a lot of people don’t know about? - um i can control my laptop with my feet when i can't reach it and can't be bothered to move Favourite song atm? - i can't really think of one that stand out as my fav atm Last book you read? - i re-read mockingjay Last thing you bought? - an opal ring What would you like your last sentence to be before you died? - "before i die i just wanna say..." 

My Questions: Who was the last person you talked to? Favourite food? What was the last country you visited? What is your favourite episode of your favourite tv show? What was the last meal you cooked? How many internet tabs do you have open right now? What is the next film you want to watch? Do you prefer to wake up early or sleep in? Chocolate orange or creme egg? For you personally define being in love