#capsrogers

He supposed that this meeting had been a long time coming. Barnes had been avoiding meeting with Steve at first because he wasn’t sure if the kill order was completely gone from his mental conditioning. Then he’d been avoiding Steve because as memories came back, it had been very evident that who he was now and who he used to be were very different people. Barnes carried some traits and memories of Bucky but Bucky had none of the experiences or hurts that Barnes had been through. Also, Bucky hadn’t had a high-powered metal arm but that was neither here nor there.

When he was sure that he could pass as something like a regular person, Barnes had contact Steve. Just an email, asking if Steve wanted to talk. Barnes was still wary of anybody trying to tail and bag him, so he’d invited Steve over to his apartment in Brooklyn. They could talk without being monitored. He’d like to think that one day, Barnes would be less paranoid but in his heart he knew that he was probably going to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life.

He puttered around his place, tidying things that didn’t need to be tidied as he waited for Steve to arrive. He futzed with the coffee maker, making himself a cup and promptly forgetting about it to fret over the contents of his refrigerator, then despaired over the cold coffee and made himself another. Fuck. Why was he nervous? Memories told him that Steve was his friend, his best friend. His gut warned him that things wouldn’t be the same. They’d practically lived life times separate from one another and the dynamic was different. Barnes sipped his too-hot coffee and winced, both at the scald to his mouth and the thought of being rejected for friendship.

HIHIHIHIHIHI

I’m like

yes I’m screaming

but I’m also just so RELIEVED.  It’s painful but also just… yes!!! this is what I want!!!

“One white rose please.” Richard said politely to the florist dawning his best fake smile he could; which was very convincing. He placed  a five dollar bill on the counter. “Oh, and could you tie a yellow ribbon around it, but?” The older gentleman lifted up a marigold shade of ribbon asking “How’s this?” Rich nodded with a smirk “That’s great thank you.” as he went to take a sip of his coffee. It was bitter. As the florist came back to the register he smiled “That’ll be $4.00.” Sliding the bill closer to the gentleman he nodded “Thanks but, keep the change.” and with a nod he was out the door.

The florist seemed like a nice guy and normally he would have joked around with him a bit, asked him about his family even, but today was not the day. This would be the tenth time he visited the site. The site where all those people died. Those innocent people that, if he had been here and not responding to a false alarm on the edge of this sector, he could have saved. He knew nothing came from blaming yourself about things that are already done and over with, but Rich couldn’t help it. His job was to protect earth, along with the rest of the sector, but earth was different. Earth was his home, Earth is is home and this is how he treats it. Embarrassing.