#cannotcry

I am back for now. Its been a longggggggggggggggg time since I posted anything here.

Firstly because I have been busy with life and with the free time I have I either take rest or play games. Had traveled to India twice last year (October & December 2016) for brother’s engagement and shopping.

Secondly, which I just realized that I usually end up writing blogs when I am depressed, angry, lonely, just not in mood & even playing games is not helping me.

I have had such days in the past months as well but usually I end up sleeping or driving or playing games. 

So you might be wondering why am I writing a blog today after so many months? Well, I had a really really really bad day today. A bad week in general. Nothing was going my way. I don’t want to get into details of what had been happening/happened but it was BAD. So much so that I started questioning every decision I took in the past few months/years. Feels like everything I have been doing is wrong. I know its not but that is how I have been feeling recently.

My family is busy and hardly has time to talk and the time difference makes it even worse. My mom keeps asking me “Whats wrong, you sound dull/sad?”. Mothers are just awesome. I didn’t tell her anything and I trying to sound normal but she knows something is wrong. I am not telling her anything because she has lot to worry about already. Few friends I have, I am not sharing with them either (you might be one of those few friends) because time difference makes it really difficult to talk to them and moreover everyone is busy with their life as it is. 

With how things happened in my life in the past few years or I should say a decade, I have been very tough emotionally but which I mean I get hurt emotionally really easily but , I cannot cry. I just cannot cry. Every human being cries and it is okay to cry. Right now, I feel like crying but I don’t know why, I just cannot cry.