#cannot!

OMFG I AM AFRAID I MAY BURST!

(Hey, I did apologize in advance for the person I was about to become earlier this week....and here she fucking is! lol)

She floated past me on a clear-cool day, a playful creature of fluttering silk and wind-swept hair that caught my eye and disappeared around the corner before I could think of something to say.

She seduced me with a wink and the bare line of her shoulders, then lead me into the maze behind velvet curtains, where I lost myself in warm darkness and dreams of her hair, her waist, her nails.

She rose from the sheets, languidly seductive, shook out her curls, and left a lipstick kiss on my cheek that'd left a stain on my pillow by the time I woke up, alone.

There was a pause, as Emet-Selch’s expression soured. Becoming a grimace, and eyes getting flooded with madness for just a few moments. “Why, I crave the Rejoining of course. Rejoin all worlds and souls! Revive the world as it should be! Bring back our beloved god, our primal, Zodiark. Bring back our HOME. Our PEOPLE.” Emet then paused and shook his head. Golden eyes sharpening, and he VERY much looked as if he had an internal struggle. Hands gripping them selves tightly.

He muttered quietly. “But that, is just the tempering talking, the infection of my soul. My madness bubbling from eons of loneliness and distress. This pain in my breast never eases through the many millennia.” He spoke, voice calming to his somber and gentle tone. One hand lifting and rubbing against the side of his skull. “But, personally? What do I want for me? I want my friends back, my found family. I want my dearest love back, my wonderful intelligent companions and friendships.”

“In this world, the touch of one known as Hydaelyn does not reach. The corruption of any gods can not touch here. This place has become it’s own Source, become it’s own time and reality. And your souls are so Strong. So much possibility. You are all truly free from what plagues others. And I– I’m sorry. Perhaps being around mortals too much as broken me. I’ll show my self out.” Emet-Selch slowly stood up. The motion shaking. Shoulders slumped more than usual, a weight settled upon them.

No more cutting corners. No more weaving fluff around the obvious questions. Jayden demanded these answers not to ease her racing mind, but to complete his vast puzzle. Emet strode into this world as an obvious enigma, out of place yet knowing so much about how everything worked. He knew about reploids, he knew about the mishaps plaguing their peace, and on a more personal level Emet knew her. 

If Emet sought out the friends and companions he ventured with long ago, did that mean he knew Shaska? Or Sentinel? They were both at the submarine crash where Emet assisted her best friend out of the damaged machinery. But if that were the case…if Emet knew them in another life…

Shaska and Sentinel are reploids. Their inner structures and workings were entirely different from humans, including the build of their own souls. They had free will yes, but human souls contrasted from the way reploid souls worked. Could…could that mean?

While the gears worked overtime, Jayden kept attention on Emet’s expression and falling mood. A strange color flashed in his eyes, something she hadn’t seen before. His voice rose above Shroud’s gentle tune, thunderous, almost…deranged. She stayed in place but folded her legs up covering her chest as Emet took on a unforeseen personality. No longer gentle, hardly proud or cocky, but a unforeseen lunacy. A primal god? Spouting new nonsense? The fear came back full throttle, and before she could tap into her watch to call for help…he stopped.

It was just a brief moment of…a completely different Emet. His softspoken tone returned but Jayden hadn’t opened up again. Emotions ran at a high mixing in a disgusting cocktail, making her stomach churn violently and body tremble looking at the regal man. There’s one thing to point out now: he knelt down to her eye level, speak on her own grounds. Just to…keep her calm? Keep her together?

All he uttered, all the truths he pulled from himself, the loneliness he’s felt for several…thousands of years, the pain he’s burdened from all of it…something kicked her. Something deep down kicked her hard in the bubbling pit of her stomach. What a horrible…excruciating pain to bear, and for someone who called themselves immortal…

…it’s not anything like the weight Jayden carried on a daily basis, but she could level with Emet to some degree. At least he had friends at some point in his life. That opportunity never came around for her during the crucial years of her life. No, all she had to experience was pain, hatred, distrust, even death. There were times she desperately could start over again but…she looked at herself now. The people whom she considered friends now, the work and her own ambitions slowly etching into her mold, right now Jayden made a name for herself. 

But Emet. No one knew him here, and it’s likely no one else knew him in the other worlds. He’s a true vagrant, one lone soul passing through time, day by day trekking with only one purpose in mind, but carrying his lost ones along the ride. He had no one to turn to, no one to talk with other than herself and Shaska. 

…but he has no home. 

He’s all by himself. 

“Wait.” 

It happened suddenly. Jayden threw herself up, reached out to grab his sleeve, and even shouted without thinking it through. Once she realized her sudden outburst the reporter stepped back letting him go. Both arms swayed by her side, head hung down and eyes shut in thought. 

Two arguments threw themselves on her table. On one hand, Jayden did not fully trust this man after recent events. He still held an air of suspicion, and yes she did tack in his overly arrogant demeanor in the mix. Shaska did not approve of him either, meaning they’d keep their distance with him. Yet on the other hand, on top of everything else that came to mind, Emet possessed valuable information. Jayden wouldn’t admit either, at least not yet, but she rather enjoyed their conversations so far. 

Whatever her decision, it’d be all on her when the consequences came knocking at her door. 

With a deep, slow inhale the human rose up standing at full height, shoulders turned back and her autumn colored eyes holding, for once, a kind gaze towards Emet. 

“….listen. I…I don’t trust you very much. You’ve become a suspicious figure both to myself and to my friend. I’m…I’m not sure what she even thinks of you but…” A long sigh, where both hands curled into fists then loosened on the exhale. “…I…can’t lie in saying that I have…become rather fond of your company. Even if I’ve appeared very cold or…unfriendly to you, it’s been…rather refreshing exchanging these conversations. For that I…do want to apologize. Like I said before, there’s not a lot of people to trust around here these days. Sometimes you have to look after yourself, otherwise the next day your family will find you in the obituaries.” 

A sad truth. A harsh reality to live in, to grow up learning and embracing. 

“But…I’m trying to make it better. Me, my co-workers, the friends I’ve somehow made, we want it all to change. We just want peace, equality among reploids, and we want that trust back.” At this Jayden took one, very careful step forward and raised a hand to Emet. Her palm out, warmly inviting him for a friendly shake should he accept. 

“I’m still completely perplexed about…my former life, how I somehow knew you, or even how you were able to find me but, there’s one thing I promised to myself as I grew up. I could never let anyone…no matter who they were…experience any kind of loneliness. No one should ever in their lifetime embrace it all by themselves, and for you? To carry that with you for so long?”