We gather here today to mourn the tragedy that has killed the majority of the kt au. The tragedy started when local women failure Squigg stole all of Applebees apple juice in a attempt at a peace offering with the local geese that have been tormenting her, this did not go well leading to her unfortunate death. The death of Squigg lead to local mentally unstable Eldridge horror, Canni, setting off a suicide bombing in the parking lot killing the majority of the kt au and destroying all nearby cars. The only survivors were local trans masc egg fujoshi, Sumiko, their best friend who had helped them run away from their abusive hyper religious family. Along with Clara who had left to see project Hail Mary, escaping the explosion, and Q^2 who had survived through the pure power of lesbianism. The survivors were disappointed to find that the Applebee’s had no breadsticks as they had earlier been stolen by xiv, who had died with them in the explosion. The tragedy of the missing breadsticks was rectified when Dahi met up with the survivors and cooked some, they had survived by being trapped in the commune. The survivors were also shocked to find that Roach had survived, but they will only be living for two weeks through the pure powers of cockroach likeness, which allows them to survive without a head. Along with this news of the mass bombing, a local pansexual man who had left Ness Anne to visit family, was shot dead by cultists of Canni “out of principle”
SHOCKING NEWS!!! XIV HAS SURVIVED THE BLAST AND IS NOW TAUNTING THE SURVIVORS AS A GHOST, also the moon is missing and nasa can’t find it.
