Gravity Falls - The Matchmabel - Chapter VI
Chapter VI: The Cafe De La Mabel
The morning sun shone down on Greasy’s Diner, and Mabel was already hard at work.
Lazy Susan hadn’t taken too much convincing to allow them to use the place - Stan had had to promise another date, but a single awkward evening was a fair price to pay for Dipper’s happiness. Inside the diner, the gang was now setting up - tables were being moved, decorations were being hung, and even lighting had to be set up.
Mabel walked through the diner, hands behind her back, inspecting the process. Soos and Melody were hanging pink decorative bunting from the roof, while Candy and Grenda had moved one of the tables to the centre of the room, ready to be set up for the date. Mabel walked over to them, putting her hands on her hips.
“How many forks are we gonna need?” she asked.
“Well, this is fine dining,” mused Grenda. “I think twelve each.”
“Thirteen,” suggested Candy. “Just to be safe.”
“Does Marius know?” asked Mabel. “You could ask him!”
“Oh! Of course!” Grenda pulled out her phone. “Give me a sec…”
She walked off.
“We’re gonna need some pictures on the walls,” said Mabel, scratching her chin. “Pictures of romantic places - like Paris, and Venice, and Cleveland.”
“Cleveland?” Candy tilted her head.
“Oh, and we’ll need flowers!” added Mabel. “Does anyone sell them around here?”
“Ooh!” Soos called down from his ladder - he was attaching a banner to the front door. “Sprott sells wildflowers!”
“Can’t we just pick our own?” Mabel asked. “I mean, we are in the mountains…”
“Sprott’s are premium, dude.”
“What makes them premium?”
Soos and Melody exchanged looks.
“Because they say premium on the box?” shrugged Melody.
“That’s how it works in video games,” Soos agreed.
“Can’t argue with that logic,” nodded Mabel. “Candy, finish setting the table and then start on the sound system! I’ll be right back!”
She walked out the front door, finding Stan outside. They had managed to rent him a black tuxedo and bowtie, and for some reason they’d also decided he needed a fake moustache, which he was fitting under his lip now.
“Never thought I’d need one of these babies again,” he muttered to himself.
“Grunkle Stan my man!” exclaimed Mabel, snapping her fingers as she walked over to him. “Looking good!”
“Thanks,” replied Stan. “But when we get them together, I’m using that sweet Northwest money to buy a butler. I think I’ll call him…”
He pondered for a second.
“...eh, I dunno, just something not French.”
Mabel thought for a moment.
“Hans.”
“Hans it is!”
“Anyway, I’ve gotta go find some flowers,” said Mabel. “Practice your people-serving skills while I’m gone!”
She ran off.
“I promise nothing!” Stan called after her.
-----
Sprott’s farm was a short walk from the centre of town, and the combination of the sun and the breeze made it a pleasant little stroll. Mabel hummed as she walked along, a spring in her step as she approached her destination.
Shortly before she reached the gate, however, she passed a small newspaper stand by the side of the road. Her brow rose when she saw the awkward-looking figure sitting behind it.
“Thompson?”
She walked over.
“Yeah,” replied Thompson. “I’ve been working here since they fired me from the movie theatre.”
“You got fired?”
“Yeah.” Thompson looked at his feet. “Abuse of power.”
Mabel blinked.
“Yeah, that tracks,” she replied. “So, they got’cha workin’ for the Gossiper, huh?”
“I wish!” Thompson ran a hand through his head. “I couldn’t even get a job at the High School Newspaper. This is the Daily Faller.”
“The Daily Faller?” Mabel picked up a copy. “Hmm… ‘Gnomes Ate My Father?’ ‘Mayor Tyler’s Secret Bone Farm?’ ‘Is Old Man McGucket a Cannibal?’”
“It’s Mr. Northwest’s new tabloid,” sighed Thompson. “They pay a buck an hour but it’s the only job I can get!”
“Ooh, local gossip on page seven!” Mabel turned the pages.
“Please buy one, if I move enough I might get a pay raise,” pleaded Thompson. “I need that extra buck an hour, they’re gonna take my van…”
“What?!”
Mabel’s eyes widened as she read the little column in the paper.
“Local Bad Boy Robbie Valentino has ditched his girlfriend to focus on his career?” she exclaimed. “He’s maintaining a steady affair with his bassist? That can’t be right, I set them up!”
“Oh yeah, they broke up a week ago,” said Thompson. “I think Wendy said if she ever saw Robbie again, she’d annihilate him. I still hang out with him though, I really need friends right now…”
“But… but even after the love potion wore off, they were happy!” Mabel clutched her head. “It was a good match!”
“The love what now?” asked Thompson.
“I… I have to pull this off, Thompson!” exclaimed Mabel. “My reputation as a matchmaker is at stake!”
She sprinted off, still holding the paper.
“Wait, no, bring it back!” called Thompson. “You didn’t pay for…”
He sighed and sat down.
“What has my life become?” he muttered.
-----
The late afternoon sun lit Greasy’s Diner in a golden light, the wooden surface appearing a brilliant rusty red. Mabel had gathered everyone outside, and was pacing up and down in front of them like an officer reviewing her troops.
“Alright, troopers!” she declared. “Dipper and Pacifica will be here at exactly six o’clock. Run me through what will happen!”
She pointed to Stan.
“Mabel, haven’t we already been through…”
“RUN ME THROUGH!”
Stan jumped.
“Alright, alright!” He rubbed his head. “I take them in and get them seated, setting them up with water.”
“And what kind of water?”
“Sparkling,” replied Stan. “Because it’s… fancier?”
“Exactly.” Mabel snapped her fingers. “Candy, what music do you play?”
“Romantic,” replied Candy, snapping to attention. “But not too romantic. 80s love songs, Billy Joel, Paul McCartney…”
“Great!” Mabel turned to Soos. “Soos, what’s our first course?”
“Gazpacho Soup,” replied Soos. “Nothing can possibly go wrong with gazpacho soup!”
“And?”
“Breadsticks.” Soos narrowed his eyes. “All the breadsticks.”
“Good,” said Mabel. “After the soup comes out, Stan refills the drinks. Then we get the main course, which is…”
“Chicken and bean enchiladas,” replied Abuelita. “And rice on the side.”
Mabel blinked.
“I thought we were gonna go fancier…”
“No,” said Abeulita. “My kitchen, my rules.”
There was a long silence.
“Ooookay then,” said Mabel. “Once they’re finished eating, we come to the main event - the big romantic dance! Grenda?”
“We want total darkness except for the spotlight and the strategically place disco balls,” said Grenda. “Plus a slight fog from the fog machine to enhance the romantic atmosphere.”
“And then…” Candy narrowed her eyes. “...we hit them with Deline Cion.”
“Dang straight!” Mabel pounded her fist into her palm. “And when they come out, I’ll have the whole town to cheer them on!”
She checked her phone.
“5.15!” she exclaimed. “Dipper should be back soon! I need to get him ready!”
She jogged over to the golf cart, which was parked nearby.
“Remember your places, people!” she called. “Tonight, we’re making love!”
She floored the gas pedal and sped off into the distance.
Candy and Grenda exchanged glances.
“She could have phrased that better,” said Grenda.
-----
Ford’s car bounced along the road towards the Mystery Shack, the trunk filled with sacks of strangeshrooms - as was a trailer that had been attached to the back. (Ford had had to run back to the Shack to get it earlier that morning.) Dipper was leaning against the window, looking out at the trees going by.
“You know what?” he said. “That was pretty fun, considering most of what we did was pulling up wild mushrooms.”
“Well, if you’ve got time tonight, we can continue the testing in my lab,” suggested Ford. “We barely scratched the surface last night, there’s hundreds more to try…”
“I’m gonna have to say no,” sighed Dipper. “I’ve really gotta catch up with this college application.”
“Why?” asked Wendy. “It’s still gonna be there tomorrow, dude.”
“Because mom wants it done by the end of the week,” replied Dipper. “So it has to been finished tomorrow night.”
“Just tell her Stan’s internet went down,” said Wendy, shrugging.
“I…”
Dipper trailed off, looking ahead. Mabel was standing in the middle of the Mystery Shack parking lot, grinning widely and holding up a nice dress jacket - the Goodwill tag was still attached. Dipper gulped and inhaled deeply.“...I suddenly have a very bad feeling about tonight.”
