#can'tdoit

Good Notes to Self (TonyBrigmon.com)

The weather lately has been wreaking some havoc around the mid west lately, and it has made my day a little more hectic then it usually is. I haven’t been feeling the greatest as of late and unfortunately the weather is compounding the situation. My oldest child, my son Lukas did not have school today which is nice because that means I get to spend some time with him which hasn’t been happening a lot lately due to my hectic work schedule, but at the same time having two kids and working nights has put a strain on myself as well. It isn’t fun working nights and having to squeeze in all the parenting time in the day but that is the schedule that many parents have to follow these days. I couldn’t imagine doing anything but what I love but there are days I am wondering if  I am sacrificing my family for my dream which wouldn’t be my dream at all. And never seeing my husband has put a HUGE strain on that relationship too. Balancing has not been coming easily lately but I hope given time things will work themselves out.     But back to the point of this, snow days are hard on all parents I think. when you know you’re going to have one or both kids at home you have time to plan and figure out what you are going to do and possibly plan a day but when something is sprung on you then it becomes much more difficult to keep two kids occupied. I find myself turning on the TV and having an epic movie day to plop the kids in front of and attempt to keep my sanity. Now to be fair, my children don’t actually watch a lot of TV as a whole because they are too busy destroying their rooms or seeing who can be the most obnoxious to each other (we have yet to decide a winner) but life does get the best of us and sometimes we have to lean on the support of netflix to help us get through a day with out killing one another (I don’t mean literally, just as a disclaimer). Today was one of those days, and to compound that situation I have a gnarly earache which in turn gave me an awful headache and I haven’t slept well, par the course for someone that works nights with insomnia.     I guess I am writing this more as a momento to myself that it is okay to need some time to myself and it doesn’t make me a bad parent to need my kids to veg in front of the television so I can have an hour of nothing, no screaming, fighting, “mommy he/she did this” or anything else and that is fine. That is all.

I made things. 

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The ballad or Barry and Freeda - Victoria Wood