after avoiding the assigned tasks for days on end, carter is as ready as he’ll ever be for the humiliation ritual masquerading as ballad week. he waits until the very end of the meeting to stand and flourish his under-prepared piece as if he’d put a reasonable amount of effort into said task. truthfully, between the punching, screeching, and flopping, it had been one of the more confusing assignments so far.
despite his usual confusion, he approaches the middle of the choir room and clears his throat. “i’m pretty sure this ballad is about being saved, or watched or whatever? which is totally what our co-captains do all the time. so, thank you both for your dedication and, uh, attention to detail. this is for you,” he finishes diplomatically. then with a quick gesture to the piano player to hit it, carter locks eyes with both stella and julian.
i feel you, juella. i feel you.
was it a creative risk changing the name of the song? yes. was he trolling? yes. was he secretly hoping someone would dramatically interrupt in the name of sondheim. yesyesyes. but to his displeasure, the ballad continues and he remembers he’s supposed to care a little. julian’s and stella’s earlier line of questioning remind him to do just that. he steps closer and holds their gazes with each creepy lyric.
i’ll steal you, juella. i’ll steal you.
the song is literally a minute and a few seconds long and he long decided it’s the only time he can afford to be vulnerable. even then, he’s choosing to take the easy road and blow smoke up his co-captain asses. admittedly, their words get under his skin more than he expected. as he clearly he wasn’t doing a good enough job of convincing them that he wanted to be here, let along belong. mid verse, his mind wanders to how he got here — blackmail, precious sheet music, and several ill-timed run ins.
even now, i'm at your window. til i'm with you then, i'm with you there.
before his mind can really spiral on his journey to loserdom, the song ends. the final note rings as does the understanding of the assignment when he feels the vulnerability creep in.
