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so I already feel bad for the anon who asked my opinionated musical theater ass to look into Epic.
Gonna attempt to keep my thoughts succinct and all on the same thread/under read more--
but with that said if you wanna avoid this all together, which is very fair, I'm gonna be tagging this as bear's epic blogging
with that all said DOWN INTO THE CUT WE GO
So right off the bat I will say the musical IMMEDIATELY looses points cause the majority of the songs are 3-4 minutes long
I'm very much of the mind set that all big feelings and plot points SHOULD have a song, but the issue with a lot of modern musicals is that they think all songs need to be 'song' length (so about 3 to 4 minutes long)
they're wrong and I think my favorite example of how to do 'give a feeling a song but don't let it over stay it's welcome' is I guess this is Goodbye from Into The Woods (side note if you saw disney's movie of this musical, I'm so sorry, that was insulting, go watch that PBS recording with Bernadette Peters, she's amazing)-- it's about fairy tale characters, this is Jack of Jack and the Bean stock fame and this is the moment he's saying goodbye to his beloved cow in exchange for magic beans. This is a big moment for Jack and is the driving force for his actions for the first half of his story so it's important, and since it's an important beat in a musical, we sing! -- for about 30 odd seconds and then we continue with the plot cause we have A LOT of story to get through.
And on the note of A Lot of story to get through---
SO-- I'm a broke bitch, so how I experience musicals is I read through the plot summary on wiki, and as songs come up, I listen to the song.
This approach is especially apt here since there is no stage production and low key THANK GOD cause this opening number is actually pretty bad as opening numbers go.
But put a pin in that cause we'll come back to it, NOW--!
I actually gave the wiki a dry read before putting music into anything cause--- well, admittedly it's partly curious but also low key uh--- so I'm not as Hot on The Odyssey as everyone else seems to be? It's a story about a captain who gets mad lost, and losses most of his men, and cheats on his wife, and yeah I GUESS it's an epic tale of his journey home or whatever but like----
I feel like it puts a damper on things when you take some details into account--- like how it's mostly just HIS journey, fuck all the dudes he brought with him I guess. This ain't about them meme. Also 'Her white arms round him pressed as though forever' does loose some cache for me when I know cha boy like---- full on cheated on his wife on the way there. He never gave up coming home! Buuut he did take a break to get laid and loose a lot of his men on the way.
I know it's like-- cunning and he out smarts the odds and blah blah blah but like-- he's still an asshole ya know??
So I was curious how they were gonna spin this, so I read the wiki. I still have not finished the wiki cause HOLY SHIT this thing is long. I know it's supposed to be An Epic but like--- I feel like things could've been stream lined SOME. ESPECIALLY when the songs are 4 minutes a piece BRUH.
I'm going to try and have an open mind here but the odds are already against this thing from word go.
BUT OKAY, the opening number.
I know it's not a stage production but like---------
If you're gonna call something A Musical, on some level you have to treat it like one.
A lot of musicals lately seem to want to REMOVE the theater aspect of musical theater (god forbid we have some incidental music or like------ A THEME or anything)
At the start of this I'm already missing the sort of Establishing Song that's in a lot of my favorite musicals.
Or I guess I should say like--- the establishing melody or stanza or something. Not all of them are full numbers but they help set the stage (sometimes literally, fucking the way the Beetlejuice musical has all it's pieces like light up or roll in and just like the scene fades in MWAH glorious I DROOL)
But yeah, Prologue: Invisible from Beetlejuice, Overture from The Producers (which I only just realized has a bit of Prisoners of Love in the full version WHICH IS THE SECOND TO LAST SONG they really said MEDLEY! with their whole chest lol), Little Shop of Horrors from Seussical the Musi--- JUST KIDDING IT'S FROM LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, No One Mourns the Wicked from Wicked, The Ballad of Sweeney Todd from Sweeney Todd (2012 London cast my beloved), Seasons of Love from RENT, Alexander Hamilton from Hamilton (which say what you want about Miranda but DAMN this musical is so efficient and well crafted ARGUE WITH THE FUCKING WALL) HELL, EVEN HOLD ME, BATBOY FROM BAT BOY THE MUSICAL
Ever single one of these starts with a song or a bit of music that sort of Vibe Checks the audience into the world we're gonna be living in for the next 2 to 3 hours and if they don't also act as a whole on establishing number (aka a Welcome To This World song or Here's The Start of The Plot song) then it's the very next number in the show and usually follows IMMEDIATELY after
(Opening Night from the Producers, Rent from RENT, The Whole Being Dead Thing from Beetlejuice, Aaron Burr, Sir from Hamilton, No Place like London from Sweeney Todd, AND Downtown/Skid Row from The Little Shop of Horrors MY BELOVED, HAZBIN HOTEL FUCKING WISHES SHE COULD BE YOU SO BAD, MY BEAUTIFUL FLAWLESS, DARLING!!! {okay but seriously Happy Day in Hell wanted to be Skid Row so fucking bad but she tripped over the starting line and broke her neck, deadass. Though to be fair Hazbin sweetie, you never stood a chance, Skid Row does SUCH an AMAZING job introducing it's world, establishing it's characters and their wants and feelings, No One can beat it. THAT FUCKING PART WHERE THE BUMS ARE CLIMBING THE DAMN FENCE LIKE FUCKING ZOMBIES you live in my head rent free! You and the lady who starts the song-- DAMN! Sing it child INDEED.})
But yeah, back to Epic.
I'm not going to hold the fact that it doesn't sound like Full Musical Theater deal against it since it's basically a handful of people headed mostly by One Guy (there is no pit, there is no orchestra, it's not a whole ensemble of singers), but I WILL hold the fact that it basically doesn't have an establishing number at all at it's start against it.
No Vibe check, no settling in, just BAM! In medias res! Hey dude, I know you're in a war right now, but you gotta kill this baby dude, trust.
It really did just smack me in the face with it's plot. (full palm)
AND THE FACT THAT THIS IS GREEK MYTH LIKE-------
HELLO??????? GREEK CHORUS??????? WHERE ARE YOU GREEK CHORUS??????? GODS AND OR MUSES???? OUTSIDE OBSERVER TO TELL THE STORY THAT COULD'VE GIVEN US A PROPER ESTABLISHING NUMBER???????? THAT CONCEPT IS /LITERALLY/ FROM GREEK MYTH?!?! ESPECIALLY SINCE THE GODS ARE APPARENTLY ALREADY HUDDLED AROUND WATCHING ANYWAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
like.......................................
Like I said at the top of things I literally feel so bad for that anon. They probably did not know I am Mad Opinionated About Musical Theater but I am. And they did not know the land mine they stepped on by low key suggesting me to give it a listen.
Unfortunately I am Anton Ego here. I don't LIKE musical theater-- I LOVE IT.
THIS ALL BEING SAID---
I will say I think a saving grace for me during this is that Jorge Rivera-Herrans has a pretty solid singing voice.
It's very modern musical pretty boy which I'm not the hugest fan of by I can def see why people want to draw a face to match it and/or apply it to their blorbos and ocs.
This ride is already starting out bumpy for me, but my butt's probably just sensitive, so take my bitching with a grain of salt.
Also know that just cause I'm complaining doesn't mean I hate it. I complain about Blush Blush all the time in the discord and I basically spend most of my free time doing shit on here so--
Alright, I'm gonna get through a few more songs before I tune back into yap some more
I'd say stay posted, but like--- maybe don't I'm always a complainer when it comes to modern musical theater <XD;
This one was a little tricky to get right, because I didn’t want to misrepresent this wonderfully talented musician.
I based my choice of the Pansexual flag (the colors at least) on her Rolling Stone interview - where she said that was something she identifies as. But she has also identified as bisexual in the past, though not publicly as far as I’m aware But as with so many things, sexuality is something that is a spectrum and there’s a lot of people figuring it out - and that. Is. Okay! It’s also one of the main reasons I chose to draw her for this series, because her story is about being comfortable with who you are and not feeling that you owe anyone an explanation.
That being said, I’m glad she chose to share a part of her story and I hope that it inspires other people to find their own strength.
Last thing: it was almost impossible to choose an outfit of hers, but I think the Met Gala look is most fitting. Camp is something that has become very important to the LGBTQIA+ community, so I wanted to pay tribute to that as well. Plus it’s a just a really badass look!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
