#camboy!soobin

judas ⟢ soobin ⟢ 05

( ₊˚⊹ ᰔ ) soobin had no idea how complicated his life would become when his biggest secret was discovered by the most popular girl on campus — and he certainly never expected to end up tangled in her sheets.

smut. enemies to lovers. blackmail. manipulation. slow burn. academic pressure. excessive use of the word pathetic. regina george inspired reader. power imbalance. online content. camming. size kink. voyeurism. masturbation. degradation. edging. ft manon katseye.

@beomgyusluver @min9lam7 @soobinieswife @missdel @soohashits @firstclassjaylee

𖦤 church — chase atlantic

main masterlist | index | visuals

📁 #05: mistakes can happen

you’d love to be able to find an explanation for your actions, but doing so would mean understanding things you honestly don’t want to.

when the echo of soobin’s words reverberates against your mouth, your body moves on instinct, not rationally like it usually does.

your whole life, you’ve moulded yourself to act like the image everyone has of you—impossible to break. untouchable. almost to the point of something divine.

someone who doesn’t allow themselves to fail, and that’s why you analyse every step, even if everyone else believes it’s simply your diva nature.

but all of that fades the moment you lean in to press your lips against soobin’s.

you both let out a sound that makes it clear you’re just as surprised as each other, and that the tension building between you had to break at some point.

your chest rises and falls in the same rhythm as soobin’s. glances that say far more than either of you are willing to admit; you shouldn’t be doing this, not because you can’t, but because you both agree on the same thing.

you can’t stand each other.

then… why do you want each other this badly?

he leans in this time, not giving you a second to recalculate, to analyse, to pull away. his hands find your thighs, sliding up just enough to make your skin prickle, his fingers pressing into it.

you breathe heavily against his mouth as his hands slip beneath your skirt, and in a movement you don’t expect, your body is pulled flush against his, your knees on either side of his hips, his fingers brushing the elastic of your panties.

“fuck, soobin.”

you murmur against his lips when the erection straining inside his sweatpants presses against your centre. so hard, so big, it sends a tingle through your lower stomach.

soobin’s fingers dig into the skin of your hips, travelling until they grip your ass cheeks firmly.

you hear him let out a low growl. “don’t stop kissing me.” before he crashes back into your mouth with hunger.

his lips feel soft against yours, so desperate it almost feels like he’s devouring you, and though you hate to admit it, it makes your head spin.

you respond, your tongue finding his, though you don’t match his intensity. you kiss him like you own him, but he kisses you with desperation.

just that is enough to make his cock harden even more inside his boxers.

you sweep your hair to one side so you can lean in closer, placing your hands on his cheeks to pull him nearer. his grip on your ass tightens further, his hands so large they feel like they were made to touch you.

you try to guide your body to grind against him, chasing friction like you need it to breathe. when you feel it, your legs part a little more so you can press yourself deliberately against the bulge beneath his clothes.

the kiss is broken by him this time, lips swollen, parting, a groan slipping out sharper than he meant it to, but you pull him back so he can’t pull away.

“you’re so needy.” you say against his lips, rolling your hips. his cock is so hard it drags against your folds through the fabric of your panties, brushing your clit, enough to make you wetter.

“say it again.” he murmurs, breathless, his hands roaming your hips, your ass, your thighs—anything he can touch.

the tone of his voice sends heat curling low in your stomach, just as aroused as he is. the difference is; you enjoy pointing out those flaws in him, and he seems to enjoy it.

“so needy,” you murmur between kisses, going back to his lips only to pull away seconds later, just to make him ache for it. “so needy beneath me… who would’ve thought?”

soobin moans against your mouth, his hips trying to lift, chasing more of that delicious, torturous friction against his dick.

his hands grip your hips firmly, fingers already slipping beneath your underwear, guiding your movements with intent. he’s big, much bigger and taller than you, and that’s why he moves you like you weigh nothing, like something he just picked up off the floor.

you hadn’t expected him to be this strong, and it only turns you on more.

you pull back slightly, noticing how he leans in so you won’t stop kissing him. his brows knit together, like something’s missing, and he opens his eyes to look at you with those wide, pleading eyes, his lips pouting without meaning to.

“look at you,” a soft, mocking chuckle slips from your lips, his hands digging even deeper into your skin. you roll your hips just right to make him suffer. he whimpers, flushed with how embarrassing it is to be this needy. “is this what you wanted?”

you can feel his cock throbbing insistently beneath the fabric, so much it must hurt.

“say it,” you raise your brows, “tell me this is what you wanted.”

soobin looks straight into your eyes, brows furrowed. “just— don’t stop, yn, please.”

you grind against him again, his hips twitching. a tight knot coiling in his abdomen.

“are you really this pathetic?”

his cock pulses hard beneath you. he tries to look away, but you grab his cheeks, forcing him to face you.

“look at me when i’m talking to you, soobin, you’re not in a position to pretend right now.”

his lips part, a deep moan spilling out.

“say— say it again.” he murmurs, his voice thick with arousal.

you smirk, moving your hands back to his shoulders as you grind again. your clit brushes right against the tip of his cock.

“do you like this? being reminded what a loser you are?”

his hands leave your hips as he leans back slightly, both palms pressing into the mattress, fists bunching in the sheets.

the position gives you more space to grind yourself against his erection.

he throws his head back for a few seconds before looking at you again, breathless, his legs tense beneath you. “yn–”

“what?” you scoff, “don’t you like it now?”

“wait–”

“you like it when i tell you how pathetic you are, don’t you?” your hips roll again, dragging your clit against his tip, forcing your own moans to stay caught in your throat because—honestly? seeing him this wrecked is enough.

soobin’s lips part to let more rough moans spill from his throat, his hips lifting every time you grind torturously against his tip.

he looks into your eyes like he needs more, but can’t bring himself to say it.

“you’re so used to everyone praising you,” you say, pressing yourself against him. “that what you really needed was this, wasn’t it?”

you lean in, his hands returning to your hips to hold you there—this time over your skirt. your lips brushing against his as you hold his gaze.

“you’re so pathetic it’s embarrassing.”

you murmur against his lips— but his hands dig into your hips and his own buck up suddenly, a choked, almost frustrated groan tearing from his throat as his eyes squeeze shut.

out of instinct, you freeze, eyes widening, blinking in surprise.

you feel a dampness between your legs—but this time it isn’t yours, it’s the one spreading through soobin’s sweatpants after he finishes.

his chest rises and falls unevenly, his cheeks flushed just like his ears—from the intensity of his orgasm and the embarrassment that follows.

“did you just cum in your boxers?” is all that leaves your lips, and it’s enough to pull him out of it; with his grip still on your hips, he lifts you off him and sets you aside before getting up from the bed, frustrated.

“ugh, fuck.” he mutters under his breath, almost through clenched teeth, leaving you alone in his room as he disappears through the door towards the bathroom.

you stay there for a few minutes, sitting in silence, trying to process what just happened. the mix of sensations. the intensity of what it all means.

and that’s when it hits you—what are you even doing?

did you really just grind against choi soobin until he came?

you shoot up from the bed, as if that could change anything, as if putting distance between you and the sheets could undo it, taking a few steps towards the mirror hanging on the wall.

you fix your skirt, your crop top, painfully aware of how wet you are and how uncomfortable it feels.

you turn with the intention of grabbing your stuff, leaving the dorm, pretending none of this ever happened—that you didn’t just kiss choi soobin, that he didn’t just cum right beneath you.

but before you can make your escape, he walks back into the room, a different pair of sweatpants. clean.

you both look at each other in silence for a second, soobin’s cheeks burning just as much as the heat pooling in your stomach.

“about that…” he starts, but doesn’t quite know what to say. what excuse could he even give?

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you reply automatically, slipping back into that tone—the one you’ve used your whole life. “we’re not studying anymore. i should go.”

“no, wait—” he grabs your arm before you can pull away. you glance down at his grip, then back at him, but he doesn’t let go. “what just happened—”

“nothing happened,” you cut in, almost defensive. “you had a problem. one that has nothing to do with me.”

you see his eye twitch. “you were… on top of me…”

“soobin,” you give him a look, “i know how this works, and i know that’s not why it happened,” you clear your throat, and he does the same. “this was because—”

“i don’t know,” he cuts in, frustrated, “i don’t know why every time you start insulting me, i feel…”

“what?” you can’t stop the mockery slipping into your voice. “like you’re going to cum?”

he rolls his eyes, still not letting go of you.

“don’t act like you weren’t kissing me two minutes ago.”

“two minutes?” you raise your brows, “i’m pretty sure you lasted a lot less than that.”

you see his jaw tighten, but a frustrated laugh slips past his lips.

“you do this to me,” he says, his voice slightly rough, “you and your damn habit of—”

“shut up,” you cut him off, “don’t blame me for your weird kinks.”

but that’s what truly pushes him over the edge, because in a swift movement your back meets the now closed door, soobin caging you in against it.

“weird kinks? are you sure?” he says, just as certain as he is frustrated. you feel his hand trail up your inner thigh, and when you glance down, you know exactly where he’s headed. “are you really going to tell me you’re not wet from insulting me?”

“it’s not a kink,” you murmur, avoiding his gaze, yet making no effort to stop him. “it’s not my fault your misery happens to be enjoyable to me.”

“enjoyable,” he mocks, repeating your words. your legs tense when two of his fingers brush against your underwear. “are you sure that’s all it is?”

you don’t need to answer for him to know it’s more than that, and you don’t want to say it out loud either. you deny it, even though the damp fabric already gives you away.

“you have no idea how much i dislike you, choi soobin.” you say just before he leans in to kiss you again, this time with more force, his fingers tracing circles over the fabric where your clit aches for attention.

his lips take over yours, his tongue finding yours like it’s already a habit, while he pushes your panties aside.

“you’re soaked.” he taunts against your mouth, his fingers sliding to your entrance, meeting your wetness.

“at least i didn’t cum in my clothes,” you shoot back against his lips, but it only seems to amuse him.

“yet.”

you moan against his lips when his fingers slide into you, your walls tightening instantly, the tips reaching deep enough to make that familiar knot form far too quickly.

“ah—” slips from your mouth despite trying to hold it back when the movement of his fingers brushes that spot your body aches for. you can’t remember the last time you were with someone—but they definitely didn’t have fingers as long as soobin.

“can’t you even kiss me properly?” he murmurs against your lips, amused by your reaction.

you hate him for it.

but god—his fingers feel too good.

you feel a shiver run through your entire body as his fingers move in and out of you, brushing every spot that needs to be touched to pull you towards a climax. your vision blurs slightly, and the only thing you can think to do is rest your head back against the door and close your eyes.

“you like this, don’t you?” soobin says, finding a spot on your neck that makes a loud moan slip out when he nips at it. “didn’t know you could be this loud, yn.”

his tone is almost as mocking as yours had been, and even though you’d love to tell him to fuck off for bringing you down like that, the only thing you can think about is his fingers thrusting inside you.

and how your climax is approaching dangerously fast.

“soobin.” you warn, feeling his lips suck at that sensitive spot on your neck, your skin prickling, your legs trembling.

you can’t finish this quickly, but soobin has no intention of giving you a break.

“you’re not close, are you?” he says against your ear, his fingers pushing deeper into you. he keeps the same pace— the exact one you need, and with every thrust, the heel of his hand presses against your clit, driving you closer to the edge.

“soobin— i’m—”

“who’s pathetic now, hm?” he purrs into your ear, not slowing down because he knows it’s exactly what you need. “all that attitude just to fall apart in, what, less than two minutes on my fingers?”

you squeeze your eyes shut, feeling your walls tighten more and more around him, your heart racing, his breath against your skin, and your hands… you hadn’t even noticed your nails digging into his biceps, clinging to him just to keep from losing yourself completely.

but when your body reaches its peak, you do. your vision clouds over, your legs tremble, his name slipping from your lips in a way that sounds far too desperate—something that might embarrass you if your mind wasn’t completely consumed by the feeling of his fingers inside you, dragging your climax out for as long as he can.

until you finally come down, breathless, shaking, spent.

and soobin leans in to look at you, bringing his fingers to his mouth to clean them.

your gaze drops unconsciously to his lips, watching as he tastes you like you’re something sweet, something indulgent.

but before either of you can say anything, the front door of the dorm swings open.

soobin frowns.

“i’m back!” taehyun calls out, shutting the door behind him.

you look at him in panic, and although he seems amused, his gaze gives away a flicker of panic in his expression too.

“soob? are you there?”

he reaches for a damp towel to clean his fingers while you fix your underwear, and just as taehyun knocks on the door, you open it.

he looks at both of you with wide, startled eyes, as if he’s witnessing something extraordinary.

“are you two– fucking?” he says, his voice barely slipping out.

you turn to soobin with a frown, he hands you your bag, and then you look back at taehyun.

“ew, no,” you reply, slipping back into character, “he’s just my japanese tutor.”

soobin bites the inside of his cheek to hold back a smile at hearing you.

and after that, you leave the dorm as if you hadn’t just made choi soobin cum in his pants. or as if he fingered you, making you cum in record time.

“just his japanese tutor?” his friend presses, after following him towards the kitchen.

“what?” soobin shrugs, as if taehyun’s gone mad. “how would we be fucking? have you lost your mind?”

“your room smells like sex,” he raises his brows, leaning against the kitchen counter. “actually, the whole dorm smells like— fuck, did you do it on the sofa?”

soobin rolls his eyes. “no, terry. we didn’t do anything, anywhere. we were just studying.”

taehyun holds his gaze for a few seconds, knowing something’s off. “you like her.”

soobin looks away, shaking his head, washing his hands in the sink before reaching for a glass of water. “are you even listening to yourself? i totally dislike her,” he sighs, looking back at his friend. “she’s a pain in the ass.”

“you’re not fooling me, soobin,” he insists, “i know you better than you think.”

your eyes close slightly as the class begins to sound far away, but you refuse to fall asleep.

the night before had been a disaster. after leaving soobin’s dorm, you could barely shut your eyes in your own bed, the image of him beneath you clawing at your mind.

and your clit demanded attention, again.

so after a long night, the only thing you could think about in class was close your eyes and rest.

at least until a small note drops onto your desk, and you turn to look in the direction it came from.

and soobin is watching you, trying not to let the professor notice.

you blink, still half asleep, but compose yourself and sit up straighter, glancing at the note and then back at him. he gestures for you to read it, you roll your eyes.

how old is he? twelve?

‘do you want a coffee?’

you read the note a couple of times, mostly because your brain’s still too foggy to properly process it.

you lift your head to look at him, frowning, and shake it. soobin tenses his jaw, mouthing, “you look tired.”

“none of your business,” you mouth back, but his expression pinches in confusion— he doesn’t get it. so you repeat it.

but soobin’s terrible at reading lips.

“write it.” he points at the paper on your desk he’d thrown earlier. you let out a quiet huff through your nose, grab your pencil, scribble something down and toss it back.

soobin opens it, letting out a scoff when he reads ‘fuck you’ in your handwriting. he looks up at you, you’re not even looking at him anymore, but there’s a smile on your face, that smug little smile he hates.

or at least, that’s what he’s supposed to do.

minutes later, another note lands on your desk.

‘coffee’s 2x1.’

you roll your eyes again, tensing your legs beneath the desk as you write back on the paper. ‘don’t want your stupid coffee.’

but when you toss it back, a voice catches your attention.

and not just any voice.

the teacher’s.

“yn. choi soobin,” you both turn, as if you’ve been caught in something meant to be secret. “out of my class.”

“we were just—”

“out.”

the two of you step out of the classroom in silence, hearing the door shut firmly behind you. soobin sighs, turning to look at you. “someone wasn’t in the mood.”

you roll your eyes. “first time i’ve ever been kicked out of a class, thanks for that.”

“hey, not my fault,” he lifts his hands innocently. “you were the one being obvious.”

“i was—” you start, but decide to take a deep breath instead. “i don’t know what you think is going on, but we’re not friends or anything.”

“i know,” he says, glancing down at you, shrugging. “you just look tired, the coffee’s on offer. i thought—”

“that’s your problem,” you cut in, turning to look at him. “you don’t have to think. it doesn’t suit you.”

soobin lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “are you like this even when you’re tired?”

“i’m worse when i’m tired,” you shrug. “i don’t need your concern, soobin. don’t get things twisted, if you came thinking about me, that’s not my problem.”

soobin’s jaw tightens. “i know you think you’re untouchable, yn, but the last thing i’d do is think something changed between us because of yesterday.”

“nothing happened yesterday,” you mutter, eyes fixed ahead in the hallway as you walk. “probably just your imagination.”

soobin laughs, but says nothing.

until he picks up his pace and you watch him push open the door to the music room, the one that only gets used when a band needs to practise— and considering no one on campus seems to have any talent, it’s usually empty.

you should keep walking, but curiosity gets the better of you, and you step in after him, closing the door behind you. soobin smiles, arms crossing.

“looking for something?”

“it’s rude to leave a conversation unfinished.” you say, scanning the room for a moment.

soobin takes a step forward, pinning you against the door. he plants a hand beside your head and leans in close enough that his warm breath brushes your face.

“you’re the one who’s going to lecture me about being rude? seriously?”

you meet his eyes, even though you can already feel that heat pooling in your stomach every time he gets close.

“drop this confident act, it doesn’t suit you.” you raise your brows.

soobin lets out a quiet laugh, like you’ve hit a nerve.

“what? want to cum in your pants again?”

he shakes his head, leaning in close enough for his lips to brush against your jaw. “i think i’ve got a better plan.”

your hands come up to push him away— or at least, that’s what you should want to do, but his lips are so soft, so deliberate against the skin of your neck that all you manage is to rest your arms on his shoulders, pulling him closer instead.

no one’s going to see you anyway.

“you’re so easy,” he murmurs against your neck, giving a soft bite to that sensitive spot that makes you moan. he smiles against your skin. “see?”

“don’t get me started,” you say, your breath already a little uneven. “if i answer back, you might ruin your underwear again.”

his hands grip your waist, holding you firmly as his body presses against yours.

“keep talking,” he murmurs, sucking at spots that make you melt. “i want to hear you fall apart.”

you let out a quiet laugh, lifting a hand to take hold of his hair, tugging lightly. “you think you have that much of an effect on me?”

“mhm,” his nose brushes along your neck as he slowly moves up to your ear, “because i’m not the only one who likes being told how pathetic they are, right?” his lips press against your ear, making your nails dig into his shoulder. “which one do you like more? pathetic? loser? stupid?”

“i’m not like you,” you let out a soft laugh, almost a purr. your eyes stay closed, enjoying this more than you want to admit. “you’re not getting a reaction out of me.”

soobin’s hands slide down to your hips, giving them a firm squeeze, almost digging his fingers into your skin through the fabric of your skirt. “you’re all talk until i get this close, yn.”

“as if.” you murmur, wetting your lips.

“i wonder how long you can keep up this act of yours,” he whispers against your ear, as you feel one of his hands slipping beneath your skirt. “let’s find out.”

previous | next

judas ⟢ soobin ⟢ 06

( ₊˚⊹ ᰔ ) soobin had no idea how complicated his life would become when his biggest secret was discovered by the most popular girl on campus — and he certainly never expected to end up tangled in her sheets.

smut. enemies to lovers. blackmail. manipulation. slow burn. academic pressure. excessive use of the word pathetic. regina george inspired reader. power imbalance. online content. camming. size kink. voyeurism. masturbation. degradation. edging. ft manon katseye.

this chapter was so delicious to write, i (s)creamed

@beomgyusluver @min9lam7 @soobinieswife @missdel @soohashits @firstclassjaylee @run2min @weebofakind

𖦤 if walls could talk — 5sos

main masterlist | index | visuals

📁 #06: bad choices lead to hell

as soon as soobin’s fingers brush against your underwear, your own dig into his shoulder, clinging to whatever scraps of composure you have left.

you hate how easily he slips under your skin, how effortless it is for him. but there’s nothing you can do about it, not when the first thing you feel is that sharp pull deep in your stomach as his fingers graze your clit through the fabric, reminding you exactly how good they felt buried inside you, drawing you over the edge.

a sensation you couldn’t recreate with your own fingers.

his lips return to your neck, lavishing attention on your skin, tasting every inch as though you were some decadent dessert he could never tire of.

your eyes roll back for a moment, your head tipping to the opposite side, baring more of yourself to him. his fingers hook into your underwear, nudging it aside, brushing along your folds with two fingers, smearing your wetness over them.

“you’re already wet,” he murmurs against your skin, teeth sinking into the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. you moan. loud, helpless, almost inevitable. “and i’ve barely even started.”

his fingers are slow, teasing, finding your clit and circling it with delicate precision that makes your legs tense.

“mmh, soobin—” you murmur, his name slipping out of you like a soft purr.

your hands drift down almost involuntarily, like you have no control over them, grasping at the edge of his trousers and tugging him closer.

“feels good?” he asks into your ear, a quiet laugh undercutting his voice. his breath sends a shiver down your spine.

you’d love to tell him no— that he’s doing it wrong, that he’s not nearly good enough. but it would be a complete lie.

“mhm.” you barely manage, your back arching in response to the soft brush of his fingertips against your clit.

he pulls back slightly, just enough to indulge himself in the sight of your expression melting, your composure crumbling under just a few touches, and before you can say anything, his lips are on yours, devouring you.

a gasp slips from your throat when you feel his fingers slide inside you, your own walls betraying you as they tighten around them, letting him know just how much you like it.

his fingers keep a slow, deliberate pace, brushing and reaching that spot inside you with the pads of his fingers before pulling back, only to repeat it again. it’s enough to make you moan into his mouth, those soft sounds of pleasure spilling out of you but this time it doesn’t feel overwhelming, it feels focused.

too focused.

“yn,” he murmurs against your lips, his voice rougher than it usually is, “let me go down on you.”

just the thought knots your stomach, heat rushing up to your cheeks as he keeps kissing you, but he pulls back just enough to ask, softly, almost like he needs your permission.

“okay.” you whisper in return, your voice so quiet, so delicate, you barely recognise it as your own. soobin smiles against your mouth and doesn’t waste a second.

he moves down slowly, lowering himself in front of you while his fingers keep sliding in and out at that same unhurried rhythm, making sure your entrance keeps tightening around them in response.

a soft whine slips out of you when his fingers leave you, but his hands tug your panties down, giving himself the space he needs to taste you.

he taps lightly against your thigh, a silent cue for you to lift your leg over his shoulder. and you do, too dazed to argue with him like you normally would.

when he leans in and you feel his breath ghost over your bare cunt, a shiver runs through your entire body, your hands finding his head almost on instinct.

soobin wets his lips, barely a breath away from you, his eyes lifting to watch you, paying attention to what you like, what you don’t.

your fingers tangle into his hair when you finally feel the first drag of his tongue over your clit, your whole body trembles, like you’re not used to this.

because you’re not.

but as much as he loves the idea of watching you, his eyes flutter shut on their own at the taste hitting his tongue, his brows knitting slightly with just how much he’s enjoying it.

your fingers tug at his hair tighter, almost fighting to push him away when he starts to properly eat you out, slow licks that savour your most intimate parts, taking his time to suck at your clit while feeling you writhe in response.

“soobin—!”

your whine echoes through the room, a sound that tells him exactly how much you like it, urging him to keep going, even as you pull at his hair like you’re trying to drag him away.

the problem is, he has no intention of stopping— not when you taste like this, not when you fall apart so easily on his tongue.

for a moment, it feels like your brain shuts off completely. you don’t care about the reputation you built, or whether someone might find you, or the fact that the two of you are supposed to hate each other.

all you can think about is the way he’s eating you, the sounds he makes like he’s actually enjoying your taste.

“shit—” you tug harder at his hair, trying to pull away just enough to get a break from the overwhelming sensation. it’s too much.

but his hands grip your hips, holding you in place, keeping you right where he wants you, even if you’re not really hearing whatever he’s mumbling against you, too lost in the brush of his breath against your skin.

“wait, soob— wait—” your whines turn more desperate, soobin’s tongue tracing patterns all over your cunt, keeping a rhythm that makes it impossible to pretend he’s not undoing you.

he smiles against your cunt, not once stopping the way his tongue teases you, tasting the slick your body keeps giving him the closer you get to the edge.

it’s not hard to notice. not when you’re clutching at his hair like you need something to keep you grounded, when he can feel your leg trembling over his shoulder. and your moans… they’re loud, echoing through the entire music room.

you’re lucky the walls are soundproof.

one of his hands leaves your hip to push two fingers back inside you, joining in on driving you right to the edge. your hips arch involuntarily, and his eyes flick open just to watch you lose control of yourself.

the sight is beautiful to him, though he’d never admit it. your brows drawn together, your lips parted in broken moans, your cheeks flushed, even the outline of your hardened nipples pressing against the fabric of your top.

his mouth waters, sucking at your clit while his fingers curl in that come hither motion, pushing you exactly where you need to be.

or… almost.

because just as your body tenses, when you’re a split second away from falling apart, his fingers slip out of you and he leans back, pulling his mouth away completely.

a frustrated moan spills from your lips, your eyes snapping open as you feel your orgasm slip away somewhere deep inside you, out of reach, like you won’t be able to get it back. you look down, annoyed, in disbelief, ready to blame him for every bad thing in the world.

“i was—” you try to speak, but you’re so breathless, your thoughts so tangled you can’t form anything coherent. “you fucking bastard, i was so close—”

soobin laughs, cutting off your threat, wiping your slick with the back of his hand.

he rises to his feet, never breaking eye contact with you. until your gaze is the one that drops, drawn to the movement of his hands.

unbuttoning his jeans.

“if you’re gonna go all dumb like this,” he says, freeing his erection from his underwear, “it’s gonna be on my cock.”

his arms slide beneath your legs to lift you, holding you by the thighs as he presses your back against the door. your eyes widen in surprise—he still catches you off guard with how easily he handles you, like you weigh nothing at all.

you feel the brush of his tip against your entrance, and your legs tense.

“wait,” you say, looking up at him, “don’t you have a condom?”

he blinks. “a cond— no, yn, i don’t have one.”

your chest rises and falls, breath uneven.

“is that a problem for you?” he asks, brows lifting with genuine concern.

you shake your head. “no, no. forget it.”

“we can stop if you want—”

“soobin,” you cut in, firm, almost pleading, “just do it.”

his lips curl into a mocking smile. “whatever the princess wants.”

despite the urgency between you, soobin guides his hips carefully as he pushes into you. your walls tighten around his tip, drawing a deep breath from him, his brows knitting together as you try to hold his gaze.

“tell me if it hurts.” he murmurs, husky, easing his hips forward while lowering you slowly, helping you adjust to his size, his thickness. soobin knows he’s big, knows it might be difficult for you at first, and he’d rather be gentle than think only of himself.

but don’t forget, he still hates you. of course.

“it hurts,” you whisper, letting out a soft moan as you bite your lip to ground yourself through the feeling, “but i like it like this.”

he smiles, rolling his hips forward and back at a slow pace, giving you the chance to decide if you want to keep going. even so, rough sounds slip from his throat, low with pleasure.

and from your lips spill moans you can’t hold back, his tip hitting exactly where you need it, just like his fingers did before.

“fuck… you feel so good.” slips from his lips as his hips start to pick up their pace, slowly, feeling the way your walls tighten around him like you’re refusing to let him in any further, making the friction that much better for him.

and for you.

his hands grip firmly under your thighs, keeping you lifted as your body rises and falls with the rhythm he sets. your arms wrap around his shoulders, nails pressing into them while your moans grow freer, louder. forgetting where you are, forgetting the risk of what you’re doing.

your body starts to move along with his thrusts, your legs wrapped around his hips as you bounce against him with every motion. each deep push pulls a loud, pleasured moan from your lips, dragging you closer to another orgasm.

your walls tighten around his thickness, drawing rough, low groans from him, just as affected as you are.

“if you stop again— i swear—” you try to speak, breathless, your voice breaking between gasps and soft whines, barely managing a threat.

“be quiet.” he cuts you off, pressing his lips against yours, swallowing both your moans into the kiss.

soobin has a particular way of kissing, one that throws you off balance every time. his lips are soft, deep, intent on tasting every part of your mouth, but he uses his tongue just as much, seeking yours out, playing with it. and from the sounds he makes, you can tell he’s melting into it, just as much as you are, even if he’s the one still in control.

you force your hips to move with his rhythm, and push it just a little further, as much as you can in this position, where he’s the one pinning you against the door.

your legs tighten around his hips, your own lifting and pressing down against him in uneven, messy motions. purely desperate. you refuse to let soobin be better than you, refuse to let him lose the image you have of him as a loser. partly because you know he is, and you like that.

yeah, you like that.

but before you can keep going, even as you hear the way his tone starts to slip, his hands grip you tighter.

and his hips start snapping into you. fast, deep, merciless now.

“are you seriously trying to compete right now?” he says, breathless, watching you fall apart into a mess of sharp moans and desperate cries, his cock hitting that spot inside you over and over until your head goes hazy, your thoughts narrowing down to nothing but how good it feels.

“soobin— wait, slow down—” you plead, even though you know you don’t want that. and for your bad luck, he knows it too. that’s why he doesn’t slow down, only speeds up, driving himself deeper into you, pulling louder cries of his name from your lips. “just— give me a second— soobin— please—”

he smiles against your mouth, barely letting you pull away from the kiss long enough to speak, your body rising and falling, the door rattling softly with each impact, your legs trembling around his hips. and even with how tight you feel, how loud you are, how you cling to him, he still notices them.

“is this all you’ve got?” he murmurs against your lips, breathless, voice rough, feeling the way you tighten around him, drawing a strained groan from deep in his chest.

you’d love to answer, but your head is a mess. no thoughts. no words. no responses, no attitude, nothing. you can’t even think about how it feels anymore, only feel it. blinded by the way he keeps pounding into you. cockdrunk.

“come on, yn,” he groans against your mouth, shifting just enough to press his lips to your ear. a shiver runs down your spine, your legs tightening around his hips, that knot in your stomach pulling tight, warning you how close you are. how hard you’re about to cum. “tell me you can take it.”

“i… i can’t—shit, soobin—s’good.” you barely manage in response to what he asks, moaning loudly, lost, digging your nails into his shoulders and closing your eyes tight, begging to be let go already—because it feels so good you can’t take it anymore.

“thought you could handle me better than this.” he laughs against your ear, earning a frustrated moan from you this time.

“stop being mean.” you whine, a real whimper, like you truly can’t take what he’s saying.

and that makes him shift focus.

his firm hands stay under your thighs, plunging fast and deep into you. he throws his head back to look at you, so stupidly sensitive.

“you’re taking me so well.” he says, voice rough but tone soft. the softest he can manage while so worked up.

his balls tighten, warning him that his orgasm is about to blow, but he won’t let go until you do first. he wants to see you at your peak.

your eyes open, looking at him, confused by the sudden change, for the first time not arguing with him. but his sweet voice pulls you closer to the edge.

you part your lips to respond, but nothing comes out, just desperate moans.

“don’t… stop…” you moan, feeling your body tense completely, bracing for an impact you’re not ready for.

you look at him, frowning, heart hammering, mind consumed only by how good it feels.

soobin leans in to whisper in your ear again, his hands gripping tighter as he feels you clench around him, drawing him even closer while you’re doing the same.

“that’s it, don’t stop,” he murmurs in your ear, voice rough, breath sending shivers down your spine. “let go.”

your back arches, as if his words were the final drop to overflow the cup. his name spills from your lips in a loud whimper, the shudder of your orgasm pulsing through you violently.

at the same time, your voice hits his ear and it’s enough. he releases inside you too, groaning, digging his fingers into your skin. he slows the movement of his hips, rocking you gently so you can both descend from climax with pleasure.

your walls still feel him sliding slowly in and out, prolonging the bliss far longer than you expected.

finally, you collapse, your body spent.

soobin presses his sweaty forehead against your shoulder, calming his breath as he stops moving.

your hair is a mess, your clothes a wreck, and yet it’s nothing compared to the chaos in your head.

one of your hands drifts up to his hair, caressing it almost unconsciously.

“we should stop doing this,” you murmur, breathless. soobin lifts his head, looking almost as wrecked as you. “it doesn’t suit us.”

he laughs, still worked up. “you’re still pretending you’re not affected?”

“i’m perfectly fine, actually.”

soobin tilts his head, narrowing his eyes. “sure you are, look at you. your face says otherwise.”

your lips curl in a smile, involuntarily. “shut up.”

when he finally lowers you and you fix your clothes, you try to run your hands through your hair, but it seems impossible— the mix of sweat, the mess, even the scent of sex is clinging to both of you.

soobin buttons up his jeans again, clearing his throat. “so… coffee or not?”

you adjust your top, trying to hide your nipples through the fabric, rolling your eyes at him.

“whatever… you’re paying.”

the walk to the campus café is quiet, maybe a little awkward. because outside of how good it feels to kiss soobin and how he makes you cum, it doesn’t change the fact that, aside from that, you’re still two people who can barely stand each other.

“an americano?” he asks once you step into the empty space, wooden chairs and the delicious smell of coffee in the air.

you shake your head. “i prefer a latte.”

“noted.”

you cross your arms next to him while he speaks to the barista, a little shy, trying not to show that minutes ago he’d filled you with his cum. though anyone could tell just by looking at you both.

the girl nods at the order, but her eyes flick to you beside him. because everyone knows you. because they’ve never seen you with anyone, much less someone like choi soobin.

“do you need my name for the coffee?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

she shakes her head. “no, i already know it.”

you dodge her gaze, nodding. “thought so.”

with both coffees in hand, soobin and you find the table closest to the window, sipping in silence.

“what time is it?” you ask, glancing at him, though you know if you keep looking you’ll have to start admitting things you don’t want to.

soobin looks down at his phone. “10:17.”

“mmh,” you murmur, stirring your cup, “early.”

soobin chuckles quietly. “very early.”

this time you join in, your lips curling into a smile.

“so… we’re just going to pretend none of that happened?” soobin asks after a silence, hands wrapped around his coffee.

your gaze stays on the window. “yep.”

“so it’s not going to happen again—”

you look at him. “do you want it to?”

“don’t you?” he puts his cup down, lowering his voice as if feeling watched. “i think we… got along… pretty well.”

“pretty well is one way to put it,” you murmur, almost sarcastic. and take another sip. “i’ll consider it.”

his lips curl. “consider it?” he leans in, speaking softly. “you don’t think you can handle it?”

you roll your eyes, looking at him again. “don’t start.”

“what?” he raises his hands, innocent. still smiling. “who handled who better?”

“you’re being unfair,” you point out, setting your cup on the table. “you can’t compare yourself to me, you do this every week.”

soobin frowns. “every week?”

“the streams,” you murmur, like you don’t want anyone else to hear. “you’re used to it.”

“used to it? it’s not even the same,” he huffs. “it’s different using a… you know, it’s different.”

“you’re still used to it,” you raise an eyebrow, “i’m not used to…”

he notices it’s hard for you to find the right words. “to…?”

“shut up,” you shake your head, smiling. “besides, you had me cornered.”

“oh,” he laughs, taking another sip of his americano. “and in another position you think you could handle it better?”

“we’ll see.”

soobin chuckles softly, enjoying how hard it is for you to admit it. his eyes drift to the window, watching students walk across campus.

“i know you won’t admit it, but… i wouldn’t mind if it happened again, manon.”

your body tenses at that name. “manon?”

soobin quickly looks down, back to you instead of the girl he just watched through the window.

“yn. sorry, yn. i meant—”

but the campus bell rings, and you stand up before he can stop you.

“i gotta go.”

previous | next

judas ⟢ soobin ⟢ 04

( ₊˚⊹ ᰔ ) soobin had no idea how complicated his life would become when his biggest secret was discovered by the most popular girl on campus — and he certainly never expected to end up tangled in her sheets.

smut. enemies to lovers. blackmail. manipulation. slow burn. academic pressure. excessive use of the word pathetic. regina george inspired reader. power imbalance. online content. camming. size kink. voyeurism. masturbation. degradation. edging. ft manon katseye.

@beomgyusluver @min9lam7 @soobinieswife @missdel @soohashits

𖦤 cheerleader — ashnikko

main masterlist | index | visuals

📁 #04: you’re a complete loser

if there was one thing you both could feel, it was that something between you had shifted. you didn’t know what, you didn’t know how, but you could feel it—slowly consuming both.

on the following monday morning, your eyes stayed fixed on the board as you listened to the lesson. a couple of times, you felt soobin’s gaze from across the room, but your jaw only tightened and you kept pretending he wasn’t there.

even though eventually you’d have to run into him—look at him, listen to him give you that tutoring session and pretend your stomach didn’t twist itself into knots whenever he was close, not after friday night.

your legs pressed together beneath the desk at the mere memory of how… inappropriate it had been.

your heels echoed as you made your way towards your locker, hips swaying with each assured step and, even without turning to look, you could feel everyone’s eyes on your low rise jeans. it was something you were used to by now, though it never quite stopped feeding your ego in some way.

you grab your books from your bag, letting out a quiet sigh when you managed to hide for half a second between the locker door and its frame, trying to distract your thoughts.

what is it about choi soobin that your mind seems to fixate on him today?

you tossed the books for your next class into your bag, shut the door and, as you turned to carry on, you were met with the chest of the last person you expected to see standing right in front of you.

“hey, you alright?”

his question catches you off guard—you raise your brows, unsure what sort of look you give him for him to start explaining himself almost immediately.

“you didn’t seem that present in class today.”

soobin, paying attention to what you do in class? as far as you could remember, you were the one who watched his every move.

not out of interest, of course, but because of that quiet, internal competition you held against him—just to be the best in every class.

he regrets it the moment the words leave his mouth, giving his head a small shake.

“just… is the tutoring on today?”

“uh—yeah, i suppose so,” your eyes meet his only for a moment before drifting off somewhere else, as if it doesn’t matter, “i don’t see why it wouldn’t be.”

he hums in response, nodding even though you’re not looking at him. it isn’t hard to notice you’re avoiding his gaze, considering it’s usually everyone else who looks away when you look at them.

because you never hesitate, never falter, and no one ever gives you enough reason to feel nervous.

right?

“there’s practice today,” he says, as if reminding you of something he knows you already know but have somehow forgotten. you turn your head, “i assumed we’d both be busy.”

your eyes meet his and an uneasy feeling crawls up your spine, tightening your stomach like a faint echo—a lingering trace of the orgasm you had on his name nights ago.

the memory repulses you, and you feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment. once again, you look away.

“you’ll be on the bench anyway,” you reply, not quite intending to be cruel, yet sounding that way regardless—almost mocking. “once i’m done with practice, i’ll see you in my room.”

“why don’t we go to mine?” you turn to look at him again, your stomach tightening all over.

“your dorm?” you raise a brow.

soobin shrugs, adjusting the strap of his bag over his shoulder. “my roommate won’t be there.”

you hate how his words stir something in you that wasn’t there before.

“fine, whatever.” you say, ready to get out of the conversation.

but soobin’s voice stops you in your tracks. “see you there.”

training with the cheer squad was never difficult—at least, it never used to be for you.

that was before your brain decided to unlock the ability to notice soobin’s presence on the other side of the gym, sat on the bench with his chin resting on his fists, the sun catching against his face as he watches manon as if he were being subtle about it.

because of course, noticing soobin also meant noticing the stupid fixation he had on that stupid girl, manon.

“you’re doing it wrong,” your voice comes out sharper than you intend, arms crossing over your chest. “i need you focused if this is going to come out right, manon.”

she nods, though she shoots a quick glance at her friends as if asking what she’d done wrong.

the count starts in your head as the music kicks in again, your body falling into position—centre, always at the front.

it’s muscle memory now: where to step, when to turn, when to jump, when to switch. your arms lift in sync with the others, feet striking the floor at the same time—the echo clean, precise. it’s always been perfect. you made sure of that.

but this time, it doesn’t feel enough.

maybe it’s a second too early against the music. maybe your hair is getting in the way today. maybe the skirt isn’t moving the way it should.

or maybe it’s soobin, turning his head just enough to keep looking over.

he’s supposed to be looking at manon, like he always does. watching the way her skirt bounces, the way her curls move with their own rhythm—

but your eyes keep finding his as the routine carries on.

and as much as you hate to admit it, you feel it again—that shift.

you’re not nervous, there are no butterflies, this isn’t some stupid romantic film—no, it’s worse.

because the brush of your thighs, this time, feels intimate.

and you can’t look away. because that would mean losing, even if you’re not in class today, even if you’re not sat across from him in your dorm, studying japanese.

this isn’t that kind of game, and yet it feels exactly the same.

soobin isn’t even looking at you with that usual edge this time—no tension, no bite. just curiosity. just watching.

or maybe not just the routine.

maybe the way your skirt rides up with every spin, just enough to show more than it should, fabric clinging before falling back into place.

maybe the way your chest moves under the tight pink top—every jump, every landing making them bounce, impossible to ignore, the material stretching with each motion.

your breathing picks up, and you feel the brush of your nipples against the fabric of your sports bra, a familiar knot tightening in your stomach—a tingle that shouldn’t be there. your lips part, chasing air you suddenly can’t seem to get enough of.

and soobin? he can’t look away, even if he wanted to, and he hates that.

he shifts on the bench, straightening his back slightly, wiping his damp palms against his sweatpants, yet his eyes keep drifting back to the routine. not to manon.

to you.

when the routine ends, your chest rises and falls more heavily than usual, and your panties start to feel uncomfortable—damp, sticky.

you hate it.

“again,” you say before any of the girls can even think to protest. “let’s run the tumbling passes.”

you hitch your skirt up slightly as you adjust the shorts beneath it, ignoring the way your clit suddenly feels… needy, as you take your position.

you let out a heavy breath, the music starts.

five, six, seven, and—

“choi soobin!”

you turn your head, while the rest of the girls do start the routine, only to falter when they realise you haven’t moved.

“get on the pitch!”

the coach’s shout is so sharp, so demanding, that soobin doesn’t even have time to react—he just gets up, eyes wide, and heads towards the team.

his friend, taehyun, is the only one who throws his arms up in celebration. because for the first time, soobin is actually going to train with them. meanwhile, the rest of the team groan, a few of them even snickering under their breath.

everyone knows soobin isn’t exactly athletic.

but it’s not the laughter from the other players that makes your blood boil. it’s the ones coming from behind you.

“what’s so funny, manon?” you say before you can stop yourself, though your tone remains exactly as it always is.

“i just—”

“oh? what was that? you’re responding me?”

manon falls silent immediately.

“we’re not here to laugh at the players, darling, we’re here to support them,” you tilt your head, that same cynical smile pulling at your lips, “or have you forgotten?”

“no, yn.” she says, shaking her head like a child being told off.

“from the top,” you clap once, stepping back into position, your eyes still following soobin unconsciously. “manon, back of the line.”

“but—”

“back.”

the routine comes out flawless; jumps, turns, the music slotting perfectly into every movement. this time, you don’t feel that same discomfort of being watched, because soobin’s attention is elsewhere now. on not messing up, on not giving anyone a reason to laugh at him.

and soobin isn’t exactly someone people make fun of. he’s known for being nice, for getting good grades. not popular, just… average.

but he knows this is where he falls short.

and he hates the way it feels—to be laughed at for something he can’t quite get right physically.

at the back of his mind, there’s that voice; the one that takes over when the doubt creeps in, telling him just how much he sucks as he tries to chase after the ball.

“nice one, soobin!” taehyun calls out, clapping a hand against his shoulder as he runs alongside him.

he knows his friend is only trying to keep his thoughts from getting the better of him. he appreciates it, even if it doesn’t help much.

at least that’s what he thinks until he scores his first goal, and a few of the lads come up to congratulate him. a smile slips out before he can stop it, taehyun cheering him on like always.

his head turns almost unconsciously towards the cheer squad, where shouts of support are actually directed at him—for once, maybe he’s not that bad at this, he thinks.

until his eyes land on that bloody mocking smile of yours, and it gets right under his skin.

you spin, your skirt lifting just enough for his gaze to drop to the shorts underneath, but when your eyes meet again, your lips move—just enough to wind him up like you always do.

“loser.” you mouth, and he rolls his eyes at how easily you get to him. but there’s a smile tugging at his mouth as he turns back to the game.

“you did well!” taehyun catches soobin’s attention as practice comes to an end, jogging up beside him to help bring their bodies back down.

“you think?” soobin says, almost mocking himself, considering the highlight of his day had been that one goal—and then chasing after the ball without much success.

sweat runs down his temples, his calves burn from the unfamiliar strain, and his chest rises and falls as he tries to steady his breathing.

on the other side of the pitch, as you adjust your top and head towards the showers, you hear the other girls, still breathless, some of them commenting on how intense practice had been.

“yn,” manon’s voice makes you turn—soft, almost too quiet. you raise a brow, looking at her as you wait for her to continue. “are you alright?”

you run a hand through your hair. “pardon?”

she steps closer, just enough so you can hear her without the others catching on. “you seem a bit… distracted.”

you scoff. “i appreciate the fake concern, but you’re wrong. i’m fine.”

fine for someone who could barely focus on training while watching choi soobin sweat his way across the pitch, that shy smile slipping out whenever taehyun cheered him on.

fine for someone whose panties felt damp without fully understanding why.

fine for someone who feels a quiet, internal competition with someone you shouldn’t—and you don’t mean soobin, but her.

as if she has something you don’t, and it frustrates you.

the shower helps, the water easing your muscles, letting you peel yourself away from thoughts that don’t feel like your own, finishing with cold water as a sort of punishment.

and once your whole face, body and hair routine is done, you step out of the now empty gym with the idea of heading back to your dorm. maybe skipping one of the tutoring sessions might finally get soobin out of your head.

especially with the image of him still lingering—damp hair clinging to his forehead, his shirt sticking to an abdomen you remember far too well, his lips slightly parted as he tried to steady his breathing, even the sounds of his exhaustion.

you curse under your breath, shaking your head and straightening your posture as you keep walking. your steps echo down the corridor.

“how long does it take you to get ready?”

your brows knit in surprise when you find him standing right in front of you, dark circles under his eyes as if he hasn’t slept in years.

“long enough,” you reply as if it’s none of his concern. “what are you doing here?”

“waiting for you?” he answers, obvious, almost as confused as the look on your face. “you said we were going to study in my dorm after practice.”

did you?

you shrug, like it doesn’t matter. “i forgot.”

his eye twitches. “you forgot the tutoring session we have monday to friday?”

“i have more important things on my mind, soobin,” you roll your eyes. “i didn’t ask you to wait for me.”

“i didn’t expect you to take two and a half hours in the showers,” he follows after you as you walk down the corridor, his voice echoing behind you, almost whining. “and you don’t even know where my dorm is.”

“i’d find it anyway,” you stop short, remembering you are now, apparently, heading to his stupid dorm. “come on, i’ve got things to do.”

eventually your steps have no choice but to fall in line behind his, remembering that soobin is the one supposed to lead you to his room.

though you don’t understand why. you don’t understand the shift. what’s the difference? either way, he’s going to teach you, so the change of place makes no sense.

and yet, it makes no sense that it irritates you so much.

your steps are quicker than his, given the height difference. his legs are long—obviously much longer than yours—but what really stands out is the length of his torso.

your gaze drifts down to the waistline that forms even under his loose shirt, before sliding back up to the breadth of his shoulders.

you roll your eyes at yourself when you catch your thoughts drifting somewhere they shouldn’t, and soobin opens the door to his dorm, stepping in before letting you follow.

such a gentleman, soob.

“there’s no space to study in here.” you say as you walk in, taking in how small his dorm is compared to yours. considering he shares it with taehyun, that yesterday’s pizza boxes are still sitting on the sofa, a few online delivery packages cluttering up the space, and—even soobin lets out a sigh at the sight of taehyun’s weights scattered across the carpet.

he bought them a month ago, when he started seeing a girl from campus, and whenever he gets the chance, he leaves everything lying around just to spend time with her.

“yeah, you’re right.” soobin scratches the back of his neck, a bit embarrassed by the mess.

usually taehyun’s the one who keeps everything spotless, but well… he’s been a bit distracted lately.

“but we can go to my room.”

your gaze shifts from the clutter back to soobin, lifting your chin slightly because of the height difference—and the proximity.

since when had you started noticing just how tall he was compared to you?

“yeah, whatever.” you reply, trying to ignore the nerves creeping under your skin when you know exactly what it means to go to his room.

you follow him down the corridor, he opens the door, and your eyes take in every familiar detail, landing on the gaming chair and his desk.

the image flashes uninvited; his hips stuttering, his breath breaking into desperate sounds, his fist wrapped tight around himself, release spilling over—

“familiar?” soobin half-jokes, dropping his things onto the bed and stretching his arms. for some reason, he seems amused that your attention is fixed on his streaming setup.

and you hate him for it.

you walk over to his bed, dropping your bag onto the unmade sheets before sitting down as if the whole place disgusts you.

“ew,” you reply almost automatically, “for your information, i’ve never watched one of your lives.”

soobin turns his head so fast it looks like he might’ve snapped something. “then how did you—”

“that’s none of your business,” you shrug. “my sources are confidential.”

soobin rolls his eyes, “i don’t believe you.” and sits down beside you.

“do you really think i’d go out of my way to watch you?” you laugh, mocking, almost repulsed. your legs tense beneath your skirt, that familiar feeling creeping back—but you ignore it. “i’d never stoop that low.”

resting his weight on one arm, he leans in just enough to look at you, something almost challenging in his expression.

or as close to challenging as he can get without losing.

“never?”

your eyes meet his, and the fact that he’s this close makes your body prickle despite yourself.

you hold his gaze for nearly a minute. “do you really think i’m interested in seeing your pathetic cock?”

his jaw tightens. “can you stop using that word for once in your life?”

“no,” you snap automatically, “i associate it directly with you.”

he scoffs, somewhere between amused and annoyed. “well, i associate it with you, yn.”

you frown. “i’m not pathetic like you.”

“no, it’s the— the way you say it. just stop using it, it’s ridiculous.”

you hold his gaze for another half a minute, your eyes dropping without meaning to, drifting to his legs and the way they shift with a certain restless tension.

you don’t know why it slips out again, rolling off your tongue without much thought. “you’re pathetic.”

you watch him shift, trying to be subtle about it, unable to pull his gaze away from yours—as if he truly doesn’t care about losing this time.

“i bet you don’t even know what being pathetic means.”

“i’ve got you for that,” you shoot him a look, almost disgusted by his mere existence, “you’re a complete loser, soobin.”

“am i?” he raises his brows, something almost threatening in it. you catch the way his ears flush, betraying him despite himself. “you think i’m a loser?”

“i know you are,” you reply, leaning in without quite realising it. your gazes never break. “i don’t care what everyone else thinks of you, you’re not even worth the effort.”

soobin nods slowly, his fist tightening in the sheets as his legs grow more tense the longer he listens to you speak.

“go on,” he says, voice low, almost threatening, even if his position isn’t truly so. “is that what you think of me?”

a shiver takes hold of your body, trailing down your spine, and you can’t quite understand why his gaze suddenly feels darker, or why his body is so tense yet he doesn’t react. he isn’t arguing, even as you humiliate him. doesn’t even seem affected.

at least, not in the way you expect.

“don’t act so confident in front of me.” you tilt your head, almost venomous, laced with a false sort of pity.

your legs press together, soobin’s gaze far too intense for your liking.

“you done?” this time, soobin leans in enough that your back meets the headboard of his bed.

his breathing seems to grow heavier in front of you, and though you don’t notice it yet, yours does too. his closeness is dangerous, threatening, his eyes piercing into yours.

he leans close enough to speak near your ear. “or do you have more?”

his voice drops just a fraction lower, the hairs at the nape of your neck rising.

even then, you refuse to acknowledge that this is affecting you more than you’d like. you refuse to admit that your panties are wet again because of him.

you lean forward to meet his gaze once more.

“i could ruin you without even trying, choi soobin.”

your eyes drop, catching the warmth of his hand settling just beside your thigh, and instinctively, your legs press together a little tighter.

you look back at him when it hits you all at once—your underwear damp, your skirt slightly pushed up, soobin’s thumb brushing slow against your skin, his eyes fixed on your lips.

he’s almost on top of you.

a breath that sounds almost like a quiet laugh leaves his mouth, ghosting against your face.

“then do it.”

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