#callonduin (oc)

I made another OC meme hehe template from here

At least, according to how I understood it ^^"

Kindess in evil - pessimistic, suspicious/untrusting, glass half full

🕶️ & 🎱 for Linnéa

🔪 for Calarphain

Many thanks for the ask! These are really good ones hehe

Callonduin

🫀 : what emotion scares them the most?

Ohh this one had me looking up an emotions chart!

All the bad stuff Callonduin feels, and the one he recoils from so violently… is shame.

Like there’s the crushing despair, and he’s too ashamed to talk about it. So he does all his unhealthy coping and then feels ashamed about that, too. And then he’s too ashamed to seek help or even open up about it so he goes back to doing the unhealthy things and yeah it’s a cycle.

Callonduin wears his attitude like armor but how bad he really feels about himself is the weak spot.

⚖️ : what line will they never cross?

Ohhh this is a good one for Callonduin! It’s something I’ve thought of a lot. The thing with Callonduin is that he’s “morally mediocre but with a heart of gold”. Which means he can be pretty shitty and selfish, but still has a sense of honor.

So: sexual assault is something he’d never do. Another one is betray his friends and Calarphain since he’s very ride or die with that. He also wouldn’t knowingly kill innocents, and though he loves to fight, doesn’t actually seek out bloodshed (and this is where I like to differentiate him with Elladan when it comes to Orcs).

And speaking of Orcs and the Enemy, this is where his background as a Rivendell elf comes in. No matter what he goes through, I can’t see him selling Rivendell out to Sauron. His relationship with his race and home are complicated, and he can get manipulated in other ways, but knowingly betraying his people or siding with Sauron/Orcs is not something he’d willingly do given he’s spent the last 3000 years keeping their forces back (and has witnessed his fair share of cruelty etc). In some versions of the story I’ve imagined, doing this or coming close to it is what gives him a wake up call.

Linnéa

🕶 : what lie do they tell themselves to survive?

So I think Linnéa’s really good at denying and rationalizing her own emotions fkgjdfljdg

Perhaps not an outright lie, but she downplays her own conscience. Like, she learned to adjust really quick to her role and I think largely “feels” no guilt over it anymore. She can explain her decisions in a very logical manner and it all makes sense in her head.

But! She resents. She has these cynical views of how the world is and how people are, and she’s “accepted” it, but is not at peace with it. She resents, and she lowkey takes it personally. She’s unhappy. And when people prove her wrong about it, she feels discomfort, but also awe. And what tends to happen is it spills over and she does the right thing at the eleventh hour.

It’s something I’ve pondered about a lot, and I think I can now say that the lie she tells herself is that she doesn’t feel as guilty as she actually does.

🎱 : what do they need to feel wanted?

Ah! I had to think about this.

Linnéa’s a very complicated person, so I think the thing she would need most to truly feel wanted… is understanding. It goes a long way when the person she’s with makes an effort to really sit down and listen and try to see where she’s coming from and determine what she needs. And this can look like giving her space when she needs it, making room for her messiness, being patient when she needs time, cheering her up when she’s glum, or letting her take charge when she’s antsy. And I feel to her, it makes her feel appreciated and even wanted.

(Lanthir ticks all those boxes btw and that’s why she likes him :P )

Calarphain

🔪 : what would they do if survival demanded cruelty?

Ohhh this is such a good one for sweet sunshine Calarphain! >:)

The answer is: break down and cry 🥹 He just has a very soft heart and has been called out in the past for freezing up even when a hungry wolf was charging towards him and his companions. He’s gotten better at being pragmatic about it, but Calarphain and cruelty (whether doing it, experiencing it, or grappling with its existence in the world) don’t mix at all.

A Callonduin meme I couldn't resist making. Why is he post almost-wraithified? Cus I wanted to practice drawing him in that state LOL

Anyway, opaque version and reference under the cut fsd;fkfsdk

From here

I wrote this at the start of the year like: Happy New Year, have some angst! 🎉 I was thinking of what's a memory Callonduin doesn't like to look at (without even knowing it). Here it is!

Summary: Buried at the back of his mind, in the deepest recesses of memory, is the day Callonduin got separated from his family. Relationships: Callonduin & Calarphain

Ultimately, the day Callonduin was separated from his family came both sudden and unexpected to him.

⊹ watching them interact with other people and feeling like you’re seeing a version of them you don’t get access to.

OK OK IMAGINE: Callonduin watching Calarphain interact with other Lothlórien Elves and pretending he doesn't resent their inside jokes and the memories he's not part of.

⊹ feeling protective of them and distant at the same time.

Callonduin ready to die for someone who barely knows him 🥺

⊹ remembering a time when you were the first person they’d look for.

Calarphain avoiding Callonduin and Callonduin remembering that when they were young, on days when Calarphain had strength, he'd ask for his brother's company.

⊹ feeling guilty for not being closer, and resentful that it feels so hard.

Callonduin's Eyes

I don't think I've yapped about this here yet but post-near-wraithification, Callonduin's eyes visibly change. Visually, they're inspired by how Frodo's looked in the movies when he got stabbed. In words, I like to describe them as "cloudy but with an eerie light, especially in the darkness."

He looks like a regular elf, except for his eyes. And how sometimes, he looks a little transparent.