Alexis: Carter, can you do something for me?
Carter: I would literally cover up murder for you and plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for the crime.
Alexis: Great. Can you do the dishes?
Carter: No.

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Alexis: Carter, can you do something for me?
Carter: I would literally cover up murder for you and plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for the crime.
Alexis: Great. Can you do the dishes?
Carter: No.

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A Straight: What’s so special about June???
June:
Happy 20Gayteen Pride Month
Alexis: I’m so lonely.
Carter: Hey, want to hang out?
Alexis: No.
Carter: Maybe if I fall in love with my depression it will leave me too.
Alexis: Are you okay?
Carter: Thanks for asking! Absolutely not.
Carter: Guys, this storm is gonna be rough, but luckily you’re friends with a former Boy Scout, who is always——
Megan: Unpopular.
Lydia: Beaten up.
Alexis: Going to the movies with his mom.
Carter: A Boy Scout is always prepared——
Lydia: Prepared to spend lunch in his locker.
Kasey: Prepared to die a virgin.
Megan: Prepared to paint his sister’s toenails.
Carter: Prepared for emergencies. That’s why a week ago, when this storm was a tropical depression——
Alexis: You’re a tropical depression.

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Alexis: [to Carter, trying to be romantic] I usually have a feeling of impending doom, but I don’t feel that way with you.
Alexis: Why would we date?
Carter: Because clearly we’re attracted to each other.
Alexis: I’m attracted to pie, but that doesn’t mean I feel the need to date pie.
Alexis: You’re cute when you’re worried about me.
Carter: Then I must be cute all the time.