#calex fic

They had even spent nights together in each other’s apartments, late nights were they were entangled in each other’s bodies, laughs, long conversations, etc. And it had taken them another month to finally make things official; Alex had been the one to pop the silly but cute question one time that they were in her office late at night. Casey had almost begged Alex to let her stay with her because she didn’t want to leave Alex alone, but in reality she just wanted to spend more time her, it was her favorite part of the day, and she was not about to miss it that day. And after an hour or so, Alex couldn’t help but stare at Casey the whole time, a smile painted on her face. Every day that she had spent with Casey, she had not been able to take Casey off her mind, she was the happiest she had ever been, and there was no denial that Casey felt the same way, not when Casey showed her every single day that she loved having Alex around.

“Alex?” Casey asked softly.

Alex snapped out of her trance and smiled. “Yes?”

Casey chuckled softly. “I lost you there for a moment. What were you thinking about?” She grinned softly.

“Nothing.” Alex grinned back.

“Oh, you were thinking about something. I know that look.” Casey chuckled as she closed her file and put her hands together as she waited for Alex to talk.

Alex smiled and shook her head, looking away. “It’s stupid.”

“Nothing is ever stupid when it comes to you, Alex. You should know that by now.” Casey said softly as she smiled.

“Want to be my girlfriend?” Alex suddenly said as she looked back up at Casey, nervously nobbling on her lip.

Casey stared at her and grinned, trying to hold back the chuckle that wanted to come out. “Alex…I thought we were already dating.”

“We…were?” Alex furrowed her brows. “I just…I didn’t…”

Casey chuckled softly as she put the file on Alex’s desk and stood up to walk to Alex, pushing her chair back and sitting on her lap, wrapping her arms around her neck. “You’re right, we never actually talked about it.” She smiled softly.

“You thought the nights you spent with me were enough?” Alex teased as she looked into those beautiful green eyes that she loved.

Casey tilted her head as she wetted her lips teasingly. “Maybe so.” She grinned. “And yes.”

Alex raised her brows as she smiled. “Yes?”

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “I’d love to be your girlfriend.” She smiled as she leaned down and kissed Alex’s lips softly.

Alex smiled against her lips as she wrapped her arms tightly around Casey, kissing her back softly. “I’m sorry if that was cheesy.” She chuckled.

“Oh, I love when the Ice Queen is all cute and cheesy.” Casey chuckled as she kissed her forehead. “Only I get to see this side of you, and I love it.” She looked into blue eyes as she smiled.

Alex blushed slightly as she nodded. “Only you get this side.” She smiled. “And I get the cheeky, smiley Casey.” She grinned softly as she kissed her cheeks, right where her dimples were showing.

It was Casey’s turn to blush, giggling as she nudged Alex. “Stop that!”

“What? I love when your dimples show.” Alex grinned. “You look so cute.”

“Okay, now you are being really cheesy.” Casey teased as she brought their lips back together.

Casey couldn’t have asked for anything better than this moment right here. Even after always having the idea that she didn’t want to get involved in any relationships, she was happy that she could be in one with Alex. She was willing to do anything to make things work, just like she knew that Alex would do anything for them too.

********************

A year or so had passed since Alex and Casey had made their relationship official, at some point, it was decided that Casey would be working some cases with Alex since she had a load of work, but she was not officially part of Sex Crimes, still sticking with White Collar. Their relationship have been so easy, it felt so unreal how well they both worked together. They both understood each other for the jobs they did, and even if their personalities were different, that’s what completed them so perfectly. They both had fallen for each other deeply, even the squad teased Alex on how she had changed once Casey entered her life, and she loved it, she couldn’t deny it. It was everything she had always wanted, and it was everything she needed in her life.

“So, when is Alexandra Cabot gonna propose?” Elliot raised his brow as he looked at Alex, who was sitting with them in the squad room.

Alex looked at Elliot with wide eyes. “W-What? I’m…that’s not happening. I mean…not yet.”

Olivia laughed softly. “Oh, c’mon! You both are so in love, we want to attend a wedding. We need some happiness after the horrible things we see here.”

Alex rolled her eyes playfully as she huffed a chuckle. “We…have not talked about it, okay? C’mon, guys. We just moved in together like two months ago, give us a little break.” She chuckled nervously.

“Fair enough.” Olivia nodded as she raised her brow. “But I’m pretty sure that if you asked Casey…she’d say yes pretty quickly.” She grinned.

Alex stared at Olivia for longer than she expected as she nodded. Of course, this had been stuck in her mind for the whole day, thinking back to her relationship with Casey and how happy she was, the happiest she had ever been and the happiest she could ever be. They were already living together, they were already doing everything that any other married couple did, right? So…marriage didn’t sound bad. She did want to spend her whole life with Casey. And as in for Casey…she wanted that too, but she had barely said anything about it because maybe it was too soon, she had already been engaged once and it had not ended the way she wanted to, so she was a bit afraid that maybe this thing would go the same way, but it was Alex…Alex would never do that.

Casey sighed as she closed the door behind her and smiled softly as she saw Alex walking towards her. “Did you just get home too?”

Alex nodded. “I did.” She chuckled softly as she took Casey’s briefcase and placed it on the rack. She wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close to her body to kiss her. “Hi.” She whispered against her lips.

“Hi back.” Casey smiled against her lips and then kissed her softly. “You had dinner?”

Alex tilted her head as she smiled. “I was thinking that maybe we could go out.”

Casey raised her brows as she grinned. “Oh, Alexandra Cabot is inviting me on a spontaneous date?”

Alex nodded. “Maybe I am.” She smiled. “What do you say?”

Casey smiles softly and nodded. “Let me get out of these clothes first.” She leaned in to peck her lips and then walked to their room.

After dinner, both women decided to take a scroll through the city, it was still somehow early, not too late to be out in the streets of New York. They kept talking about everything and nothing at the same time, just enjoying each other’s company. Moments like these were the ones that they both enjoyed to the fullest, it wasn’t every day that they had a chance to go out and enjoy a nice dinner and walk, they’d normally go back home, have some dinner, and go straight to bed because work would be waiting the next day. This is exactly what Casey wanted her life to be like. She wanted this life with Alex. They both understood each other’s jobs, they understood each other’s lives, and they couldn’t be happier. For a moment, it crossed Casey’s mind that maybe, just maybe…Alex was the one.

********************

Casey ran through the hallways of the hospital as she panted, her phone and bag in hand as she looked around. Earlier that day, Casey had talked to Alex about dropping a case she had, they knew their address, they knew Casey was Alex’s girlfriend, they knew every little detail about Alex’s life, they were both at risk, but Casey cared more about what could happen to Alex if she continued this case. She had almost begged Alex to drop it, and finally, she had decided to listen to Casey.

“Promise me, Alex.” Casey said softly as she placed her hands on Alex’s neck, green eyes looking into blue ones.

Alex smiled softly as she nodded. “I will.” She pulled Casey close to her body and rubbed her back. “I don’t want to put you at risk.”

“I don’t care about me, Alex. It’s you who’s prosecuting. I just want you to be safe.” Casey said almost in a whisper, as if talking louder would hurt them both.

Alex leaned in and kissed her lips softly. “I’ll be okay.” She whispered against her lips, kidding Casey’s chin, forehead, nose, and cheeks, smiling softly as Casey giggled.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Good.” She smiled softly and kissed Alex’s lips softly.

“You’re adorable, you know that?” Alex smiled.

“And you’re stubborn.” Casey raised her brow playfully.

“And you love me for it.” Alex chuckled as she leaned in and kissed her lips again.

Casey had court all day, so she only got a text from Alex saying that she had dropped the case and now it was the feds turn, and Casey had texted her back that she’d be seeing her that night, she’d treat Alex to dinner. And then, later that night, just when she was about to call Alex to let her know she was on her way, she got a call from Olivia; Alex had been shot. She had never ran as fast as she did, not even for her games. Her feet hurt because of the annoying heels, but she didn’t care, she needed to get to the hospital.

Casey spotted Olivia and Elliot and walked to them, panting heavily. “Where is she?” She looked between the two of them as she tried to catch her breath.

“Case…” Elliot whispered softly as he looked down at the floor.

Casey frowned as she looked at him and then back at Olivia. “Liv? Where is Alex?”

Olivia took a deep, shaky breath as she placed her hand on Casey’s shoulder. “Casey…she lost a lot of blood. She never made it off the table.” She said softly as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Casey shook her head as she took a step back. “No…no. You’re…you…” she felt a pressure in her chest and suddenly the whole room was spinning. “…no…you’re…I need…Alex. She…she needs me. I…” she sobbed uncontrollably as she fell on her knees.

Casey didn’t know when or how Elliot and Olivia had gotten her on her feet and out of the hospital. Casey could only listen to their voices saying that everything would be okay and that she was not alone, but Casey get off her mind that her lover was gone. She was gone. Forever. Why did this happen? This had to be involved to the case. But she dropped it, she had just dropped it that day, it wasn’t her fault that the feds had caught him. This was not happening, this was not real. The whole ride to their apartment, Casey had been numb, no words had been able to leave her mouth, she felt like her voice was gone. Olivia said something about her needing to stay somewhere else, they had to keep an eye on her too since they knew about Casey. But did it matter? She didn’t care. They had killed her lover.

Casey walked inside their apartment and stood there for a moment, not being able to move at all. Part of her waiting for Alex to walk out of their room and come greet Casey, hug her, and kiss her, tell her that Casey had just been all day at court that she was now hallucinating. But she had stood there for fifteen minutes, and nothing had happened, silence surrounded her, and that’s when Casey’s mind focused back to reality. She closed her eyes as she sobbed, letting herself fall on her knees again. She sobbed quietly, as if she was afraid to be heard, but there was no one there, no one would hear her. She was alone. Casey jumped slightly as she felt arms wrapping around her tightly, she freaked out for a moment but then she heard Olivia’s soothing voice.

“I’m here.” Olivia whispered softly, resting her head against Casey’s.

“She’s gone.” Casey cried out.

Olivia nodded as she sighed. “Yes, sweetheart.”

Casey shook her head. “Why her?”

Olivia tried to swallow back her tears for Casey, she needed to be the strong person at the moment. “I’m not sure, Case. I wish I had the answer.”

“Are you guys going to look for the person who…” Casey took a shaky breath. “…who did this?”

“We don’t know.” Olivia said softly as she rubbed Casey’s arms. Casey nodded softly as she rested her head against Olivia’s chest. “Wanna stay with me tonight? So you don’t go to a hotel.”

Casey thought for a moment and then nodded. “Thanks.”

Casey made a mental note that she’d start looking for a new place. She couldn’t possibly stay here. She couldn’t live in this apartment without Alex. She didn’t know how she was going to continue without Alex.

********************

Casey had almost quit the moment Branch and Elizabeth talked to her and offered her Alex’s spot. She was furious that they thought about her for the spot, but as Elliot and Olivia had told her, there was no one else that Alex would want in her place. Alex trusted Casey in every way, including their job. It took her almost two weeks to finally accept the spot, and another week to finally be able to show up in the precinct, and finally be able to get back to work. The first day, she had gone back to her apartment and cried most of the night, not only for how pressured she felt about the case, but also because normally when they had a stressful day, Alex had always been there.

Now almost a whole year since Alex had died, and even if Casey had been going to a therapist, she still couldn’t help but miss her. It took her some time to adjust to her new routine, new job, new office, new environment, new apartment…new life. She had been thankful that Olivia and Elliot had been there through it all, even if Alex had been closer because they worked together, ever since they started dating, Casey also became their friend, and she was thankful that at least at this moment of her life, she had never been alone. She walked into the precinct looking for Olivia and Elliot, but no one was around. She looked at her watch and sighed softly as she realized that maybe they were still at the scene.

“Can I help you?”

Casey turned to find a girl standing just a few feet away from her. “Uh…who are you?”

The girl huffed a chuckle. “I’m…y/n. Y/n y/l/n. I’m the new detective.” She smiled softly. “And you are?”

“Casey Novak. The A.D.A.” Casey said firmly.

Y/n nodded. “Oh! Hi! Well, guess you don’t need my help then.” She chuckled softly.

Casey couldn’t help but smile a little. She found it cute how she was nervous. “First days are not as expected, huh?”

Y/n smiled as she nodded. “Definitely not. I was…left here to find some records, and I’m still waiting for them. I was supposed to go with Olivia and Elliot, but they left in a rush.”

“They’ll warm up. You just need to listen to them.” Casey offered a small smile.

“You’re also new?”

Casey huffed a chuckle as she shook her head. “Ah, no. Actually, I’ve been working with them for a while now. But I was new too. And I know how it feels. But all I can tell you is that they’re a great team. You’ll learn a lot from them.”

Y/n smiled. “And from you?”

Casey stared at her for a moment, not sure what to answer to that. “Sure.” She nodded. “Uh…I don’t…see why not.”

“Good.” Y/n noticed that the squad was walking into the squad room, and she returned her stare to Casey. “Duty calls, Casey Novak.” She grinned as she walked to Olivia and Elliot.

Casey stood there for another minute before she turned to the squad and focused on what they had for the case. Every now and then, she could feel y/n’s eyes on her, and she wanted to be mad about it, she wanted to snap at her for it, but in reality…she felt flattered. She wanted to look at her and let her know that she noticed and give her a grin or a smirk. But why did she want to do that? Was it wrong? Wait…what was wrong? Why am I thinking if it’s wrong? Casey tried to focus back on the detectives and focus on the case, trying to push away any annoying thought.

A few weeks passed since the day she met y/n, and she had tried everything in her power to avoid y/n at all costs, mostly because she had no reason to talk to her when Olivia and Elliot were leading the case, but also because she wanted to avoid her intrusive thoughts about the girl. But then, in y/n’s fourth case, around a month and a half later that she joined, she had made most of the case and the squad had wanted to celebrate the victory of it, not only because of y/n’s terrific work, but because Casey had also won the case, so it was to celebrate both of them. For most of it, Casey tried to stay in the middle of Elliot and Olivia, only listening to them and every now and then joining in the conversation, but that was until Olivia moved and she was beside y/n, and not long after, they had engaged in a conversation full of laughs.

“I’m going for another drink, anyone wants one?” Y/n asked around and then looked at Casey.

Casey smiled as she nodded. “Please.”

Y/n nodded as she grinned. “Coming right up.” She grabbed the empty glasses and headed to the bar.

Olivia moved back beside Casey and raised her brow. “So.”

Casey looked at her and shrugged. “So?”

“You and y/n.” Olivia grinned.

Casey scoffed and shook her head. “We’re not doing this, Liv.”

Olivia tilted her head. “C’mon, Case. You’re gonna tell me that you two didn’t connect since the moment you met? I can see you’re avoiding her.”

Casey furrowed her brows. “Are you…are you keeping an eye on me or something?”

Olivia offered a small smile. “It’s been tough, Casey. But…you’re allowed to.”

“Allowed to what?” Casey raised her brow.

“Allowed to move on, Casey.” Olivia said softly as she smiled.

Casey stared at her for a while, trying to process the words that Olivia had just said, but before she could answer anything else, y/n had returned with their drinks and had gotten in the middle of Olivia and Casey. Soon after, the three of them had engaged in a new conversation, but Casey was still processing what Olivia had said. She was allowed to move on. She was…allowed to continue with her life like she had done it lately. She moved into a new apartment, she accepted Alex’s spot, she had created a new routine, had found a new place to practice batting, she had even changed her hair color…there were a lot of things that she had changed and new things that she had started to do, so…why not give herself that chance?

********************

“Oh, c’mon, Case! You gotta admit that I’m slowly becoming better.” Y/n grinned as she looked at Casey, taking a sip of her water as they walked through the streets of New York.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully as she grinned. “I admit…you’re a bit better but…I know you still have more in you.”

“I’m learning from the best, next thing you know, I’ll be joining the softball team and I’ll go against the great Casey Novak.” Y/n smirked as she looked at Casey.

“Oh, I’d like to see you try.” Casey chuckled softly as she looked back at y/n.

Y/n smiled softly as they came to a stop. She sighed softly and then looked away. “I’m glad you finally loosen up with me.”

Casey furrowed her brows as she stared at y/n. “What?”

Y/n shrugged. “Well…for the first month or so…you were kind of off with me. And then we started hanging out more and I got to meet a whole new side of Casey Novak.” She looked back at Casey and smiled. “I like it.”

Casey smiled softly as she looked down at the floor, nodding. “I’m sorry I uh…” she cleared her throat. “I normally don’t open up so easily and I…I was still going through some things.”

“And now 5 months later…we’re friends.” Y/n smiled playfully as she raised her brow.

Casey looked at her and laughed softly. “Yes, y/n. We are.” She smiled.

Y/n nodded as she looked down at her tumbler. “So…it’d be a wrong move to ruin it, right?”

Casey furrowed her brows. “What?”

Y/n sighed as she cleared her throat. “You know what? Don’t mind me. I’m gonna take the other way cause I need to go buy some stuff but I-“

“No.”

Y/n furrowed her brows as she looked at Casey. “What?”

Casey stared at her and shrugged. “It wouldn’t be a wrong move.”

Y/n grinned, trying to hide the fact that she was nervous. “You…know what I meant with that.”

Casey shrugged as she grinned. “One of my many talents, not only because I’m an attorney.”

Y/n chuckled softly as she nodded, looking down at the floor for a moment. “Well…” she cleared her throat again as she looked back up at Casey. “Would you maybe…like to go out for dinner? Maybe Friday?”

Casey smiled softly as nodded. “Yes, I’d like that.”

“Good. I’ll pick you up…7:30?”

“7:30 pm. Noted.” Casey smiled.

Y/n chuckled softly. “Noted.”

Casey raised her brow. “So…were you really going the other way, or did I make you nervous and you were trying to escape from me?”

Y/n blushed slightly and scrunched her nose. “Second one?”

Casey rolled her eyes as she grabbed y/n’s arm. “C’mon.” She chuckled as they crossed the street.

********************

“What?” Olivia said as she stared at Cragen.

“What didn’t you tell us?” Elliot asked almost in a whisper as he stared at Cragen.

Cragen sighed. “It was to protect her. I found out after her funeral.”

Olivia raised her brows as she felt her eyes getting teary. “Almost two years…and she’s…alive.”

“She’s in Wisconsin.”

“Casey.” Olivia whispered as she furrowed her brows. “How are we supposed to tell Casey? She charged him with the murder of Alex. And we supported her because we…”

“We need to tell her. Because…” Cragen sighed as he looked at both of them. “I might have convinced her to come back to help us with the case.”

Elliot scoffed as he crossed his arms. “And you believe Casey is not gonna kill us for this?”

“I’ll take full responsibility. But we need to win this case. For Alex. And for Antonio.”

Olivia nodded as she scoffed, walking out of his office. Olivia thought it was best to not call Casey yet and let the rest of the squad know that Alex was alive. Almost two years of thinking she was gone, but now she was about to return. Olivia pulled y/n aside and explained to her the whole situation, opting to tell her about Casey and Alex before anything else happened. Casey and y/n had started dating after a few dates, it had been a few months of it, and both seemed very happy; Casey seemed very happy. How could they tell her now that her ex-girlfriend, the woman she thought was the one and had died, was returning to help her case.

Casey was getting some files from her desk when the door opened and Elliot, Olivia and y/n walked into her office. Casey looked up at them and smiled. “Hey. Something wrong? Found something else on Connors?”

Elliot cleared his throat as he looked at Olivia and y/n. “Casey…we need to talk.”

Casey furrowed her brows. “What about?”

“You need to drop the charges on Alex’s murder.” Elliot simply said, not able to find any other way to say it.

Casey tilted her head confused. “Uh…and why would I do that? That helps our case, we have a chance to get him behind bars, get justice. Why would I do that?”

Y/n sighed as she looked at Olivia and then at Casey. “Case…there’s something you need to know.” She walked to her and grabbed her hand. “I just learned about this…about Alex. But uh-“

Alex.” Casey whispered softly, her eyes glued to the door.

Everyone turned around and her eyes widened as Alexandra Cabot stood by the door, smiling at them. They all stood there, just staring at Alex, and that’s when Alex realized that maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to just show up like that. Y/n felt Casey squeezing her hand, making her turn to look at Casey, and that’s when she noticed the tears in those green eyes that she loved so much. For what Olivia had told her, Alex had meant more than anything else to Casey, and her death had caused Casey a great pain, and now she was back, she had to lie to protect herself and that included lying to the people she cared about.

“Get her out of here.” Casey snapped, breaking the silence.

“Casey…” Alex whispered softly.

“Out. Now.” Casey walked to the other part of her office without looking at her anymore.

Y/n turned to look at Olivia and Elliot and nodded, her eyes landing on Alex for a second before she followed Casey and closed the doors. Y/n stood there for a second, not sure if she was supposed to walk to Casey or not if she was even supposed to be in the room. But she believed that it was the right thing to do since they were dating, and she wanted to be there for Casey no matter what. Almost as in cue, y/n opened her mouth to say something and suddenly Casey was walking to her and wrapping her arms around her, tightly. Y/n only wrapped her arms around her, holding her as she cried and sobbed, y/n pressed soft kisses on her head and let Casey cry as much as she wanted.

“She lied.” Casey finally whispered after a few minutes, her arms still wrapped around y/n.

Y/n sighed softly. “She was in Witness Protection, Case…she couldn’t just come back.”

Casey pulled away and looked at y/n, furrowing her brow. “Who knew? Olivia and Elliot knew?”

Y/n shook her head. “No. Cragen did, though. He told Elliot and Olivia this morning, and…Olivia told me before we came here.”

Casey nodded. “So you know.” Y/n nodded. “Baby…I-“

“It’s not like I wasn’t conscious that we dated other people before, Case.” Y/n chuckled softly as she stroked her cheek softly, wiping away her tears. “You were not ready to talk about her, and I get that. I told you when you told me about…” she smiled softly and stared into Casey’s eyes. “…I told you that I’d be here, no matter what, and whenever you wanted to talk, about anything, I’d be here to listen. And here I am.”

Casey smiled softly, placing her hands on y/n’s neck, and pulling her closer to her, leaning in to kiss her lips softly. “Thank you.” She whispered softly against her lips.

Y/n smiled and kissed her lips softly. “You got nothing to thank me for.”

“I do…because you’re still here.” Casey smiled.

“And I am not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, Casey Novak.” Y/n smiled as she peppered her face with kisses.

Casey chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around y/n’s shoulders to hug her, feeling somehow relieved as y/n wrapped her arms around her waist to hold her closer.

********************

“Alright, y/n and Olivia will be here any minute. I believe we’re done with my questions.” Casey said as she closed the door and walked to her desk.

Alex sighed softly as she turned to look at Casey. “Are we not going to talk other than about the case?”

Casey turned to look at Alex, a serious look on her face. “What about? The fact that I got a call from Liv telling me that you had been shot and you were in an ambulance, in critical condition, I dropped everything to get to you in time, but I got there, and you were gone? That I sobbed uncontrollably at your funeral, your mother and I held each other. Or…the fact that you thought it would be better to leave and never tell us that you were alive.” She felt tears in her eyes as she spoke. “What do you want to talk about, Alex?”

Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she stood up to walk to Casey, raising her head to look at her. “I wanted to call. I tried to convince them so I could at least call you, and let you know that I was okay, and that…at some point I was going to come back.”

“Oh.” Casey scoffed. “That’s rich. You wanted to let me know that you were coming back at some point?” She shook her head. “You left me without a word, without a text, without a phone call. Did you just expect me not to move on?”

Alex felt her heart dropping as she stared at her. “You…you moved on?”

Casey tilted her head. “You wanted me to wait for you? You were dead to me, Alex! For two years I thought you were gone! I mourn you, I cried every night for you for so long, and you wanted me to not move on?!”

Alex was taken aback by Casey’s reaction, expecting her to be upset but not this upset. “No, I…I don’t know, Casey, I just…”

“I moved on, Alex. And it was the best decision that I could’ve made, because if I hadn’t listened to anyone, if I had…” she took a deep, shaky breath. “…if I had let myself get lost…I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

Alex let the tears roll down her face as she stared at Casey. “I’m so sorry.”

Casey nodded. “It’s a bit too late for that.”

Alex tilted her head as she sighed. “Casey.”

“I’m already in love with someone.” Casey smiled sadly. “And you know…before I dated you…I always thought that I would never want to fall again. For anyone. And you showed up and changed that. And then you…you were gone.” She shrugged as she nibbled on her lip. “I closed myself to that possibility, and then I met y/n.”

Alex nodded. “You’re dating y/n.”

Casey nodded. “I am. And I’m happy.” She smiled sadly. “I cannot hurt her. I don’t want to hurt her.”

“I should’ve called, no matter what they said.” Alex said softly as she looked down at her hands. “Maybe I wouldn’t have lost you.”

“We’ll never know.” Casey tried to put on a serious face as she crossed her arms.

Alex nodded as she sighed, wiping away her tears as she stared at Casey. “Okay.” She cleared her throat. “I am sorry, Casey. That I didn’t tell you that I was alive. It was not my decision, and I was…furious…about that decision. I understand you’re upset, and I am happy you moved. I’m sorry for the pain I caused.” She licked her lips. “After the case, I won’t bother you again.”

Casey nodded. “I’ll win this case. For Antonio…and for you.” She sniffled. “Just because I’m mad doesn’t mean that I don’t wanna get justice for you.”

“Casey.”

Olivia opened the door and stared at both women, y/n behind her. “Is…everything okay here?”

Casey turned to look at Olivia as she wiped her tears. “Yes. Alex is ready to go.”

Alex looked down at her hands and nodded. “Yeah.” She grabbed her bag and walked to Olivia. She then turned to look at y/n and smiled sadly. “Thank you.” She said softly before she walked out of Casey’s office.

Olivia looked at y/n confused but followed Alex, leaving y/n and Casey alone. Y/n turned to look at Casey. “Baby, you’re okay?”

Casey took a deep breath and then exhaled. “We…sort of talked.”

“Oh.” Y/n nodded. “Right.”

Casey tilted her head as she walked to y/n, taking her hand and the other went to y/n’s cheek, stroking it softly. “You know I love you, right?”

Y/n smiled. “And you loved her, Case. I don’t blame you.”

Casey sighed as she nodded. “She’s my past now.”

Y/n nodded as she stared into Casey’s eyes, smiling softly. “Ready to go?”

Casey smiled. “You’re still staying tonight?”

“Are you kidding? I was promised pizza, of course I’m staying.” Y/n grinned.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully as she turned to grab her briefcase and blazer, and then walked to y/n, grabbing her hand, and kissing the back of it. “Let’s go.”

********************

“On count two, the attempted murder in the first degree of Alexandra Cabot, what is your verdict?”

“Guilty.”

Casey closed her eyes and sighed in relief, looking down at her hands. She looked up at the judge and then stood up once they said they could leave. She stood up and put all of her stuff inside her briefcase before turning to look at everyone. Her eyes first landed on y/n who was already smiling at her, mouthing a ‘congrats’, which made Casey smile. And then her eyes went to Alex, who was saying something to Olivia before she looked at Casey, offering a smile. Casey sighed softly as she turned around to grab her briefcase and walk out of the courtroom. Casey walked to y/n and kissed her cheek softly.

“Congrats, Ms. Novak. I knew you’d win this case.” Y/n grinned softly.

“Thanks, detective. Wouldn’t have done it without your help.” Casey grinned and then looked back for a moment. “Would you uh…give me a moment?” She looked back at y/n as she smiled.

Y/n looked to where Casey had looked, and then smiled, looking back at Casey and nodding. “Sure. I’ll be by the elevator.”

Casey nodded. “Okay.” She smiled when y/n kissed her cheek and then walked away. She took a deep breath and walked to where Alex was standing with Hammond. “Give us a moment?” She looked at him.

“Go ahead.” Hammond said before he walked away.

Alex looked at Casey and smiled softly. “Thank you, Casey.”

“You’ll always have a special place in my heart, Alex.” Casey nibbled on her lip as she looked down at her hands. “Yes, I am hurt. But I also understand why you did this.” She looked back up at Alex as she sighed. “But…I moved on.”

Alex nodded. “I know.”

Casey nodded and offered a small smile. “You’re going back, aren’t you?”

Alex sighed and offered a small smile. “Yeah. They’re also giving Antonio a new identity.”

“That’s good.” Casey smiled.

“Thank you for giving us justice.” Alex smiled. “I knew you could do it.”

Casey smiled softly. “I always wanted to do this. And I’m happy I had the chance.”

“Take care, Case. It was…” Alex huffed a chuckle, holding back tears. “…it was so nice to see you again.”

Casey smiled sadly as she nodded. “It was nice seeing you too, Alexandra Cabot.” She offered a small smile before she turned around to leave.

Y/n sighed softly as she looked at the floor. She heard a pair of heels approaching her and she turned to find Casey walking to her. She smiled softly. “Done?”

Casey smiled and nodded, placing her hand on her cheek, and leaning in to kiss her lips softly. “Yeah. Mexican today?”

But the last thing she expected was to go beyond her limits and get to the point where she had risked her career for a case that still ended up going to the trash, no matter how they had handled it, she knew the case would end up going bad for them and there was nothing they could’ve done to fix it. And yet, she risked her job and her license, and here she was now; sitting at the bar after standing for an hour or so before the bar listening to them talking about the lack of professionalism that she had in this case, and that she was lucky enough to not lose her license, they were taking in consideration something that Elizabeth Donnelly had told them, and that was the only reason she was still given a chance to keep her license, but…she would be censured for three years. She honestly expected worse after the conversation she had with Elizabeth, she expected them to really take away her license, but thankfully they didn’t.

Now she was sitting at the bar thinking of all the decisions she had taken in the last few years, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do next. What was she supposed to work in? She was lost, she was confused as to why she let this happen to her; what was done, was done. She had to pay for what she did, even if the consequences destroyed her. The squad had tried to call her to find out what had happened, even Elizabeth had tried to call, but Casey couldn’t bear the thought of telling them that she was not coming back to SVU, someone else would tell them, they’d have another ADA. After five years of working with them, there would be a new ADA, and she really believed that she’d work with them until she couldn’t do it anymore. But this was on her, and no one else. She asked for another drink, maybe the fourth or fifth, she had lost count of them now, but she didn’t care. She had nothing better to do anyway. For a moment her eyes registered the whole bar, knowing this was a bar that the squad normally came to, and she hoped she wouldn’t find anyone here, but then her eyes landed on someone; a blonde. She frowned as she tried to focus her eyes, the drinks now getting to her. It couldn’t be, could it?”

“Casey Novak.”

Casey’s eyes widened a bit as Alexandra Cabot stood right in front of her. “Alex…you’re back.”

Alex chuckled softly as she nodded. “Yeah, well…I was missing New York and I thought that it was finally time to come back.” She grinned. “May I sit with you?”

Casey nodded. “I’m here on my own so…some company won’t hurt.” She grinned as she looked at Alex, resting her head against her hand. “So, Alexandra Cabot is really back.”

Alex nodded as she smiled. “Sort of.” She looked at Casey. “I’m helping McCoy with some cases right now.”

“Are you making your great comeback to SVU?” Casey smiled, even if it hurt her to ask the question.

Alex frowned. “Why would I? They have you.” She grinned.

Casey sighed as she looked at her drink and shook her head. “Not anymore, Cabot.” She finished her drink and placed the empty glass in front of her.

Alex looked at her with a confused look, completely lost. “What do you mean?”

“I was censured for three years.” Casey looked back at Alex with a serious look. “Brady violation.”

Alex tilted her head. “Case…”

“I did this to myself, Alex. No need to feel sorry for me.” Casey offered a sad smile. “Liz is right…I lost perspective.”

“She did this?”

“I mean, I’m sure Petrovsky talked to her, and then Liz decided that it was for the best. I’m sure she thought that if I got away this time, then I’d do it again, and she couldn’t allow that to happen.” Casey looked down at her empty glass and shrugged. “I deserve it, Alex. I shouldn’t have done this. And either way…things went bad.”

Alex grabbed Casey’s hand on hers, making her look back at Alex. “You did what you had to do, Casey. This job…sometimes we cannot help it, and we do the things that we think are right. And I’m sure you did this for a good reason.”

Casey shook her head as she felt her eyes getting teary. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now, Alex.” She whispered softly.

Alex sighed softly as she stood up, wrapping her arms around Casey, hugging her tightly. “I’ll be here, Casey. You’re not gonna go through this alone.”

********************

Alex had been quiet on her return to Manhattan, she had agreed with McCoy that she’d be helping him with some cases, ending up working in appeals. She had made sure that her comeback hadn’t been the big deal around the office or out of the office, still not ready to let the squad know that she was back just yet. She had heard that there was a new ADA, there were rumors going around her own office about Sex Crimes, and as much as she wanted to know them, she knew that there was no point in getting involved in any of that. She also knew that if Casey ever found out that they were talking about her and now getting involved in talks about the new ADA, would hurt her. Alex had spent most of her time checking in on Casey, after work, she always headed back to Casey’s, for dinner, for movie night, to go out to drink, anything that kept Casey busy. For the first four months, Casey had decided to give herself a small break and had decided to just spend some time for herself going to therapy, Alex being the only person to know what Casey was doing with her life. Alex had tried to convince her to not push away people, she knew that she hated the fact that she didn’t have anyone when she was away, but Casey made it clear that she was just not ready to talk to them.

Now, six months later, she was helping Mary Clark in whatever she was able to do. It was at least something and it would keep her busy and distracted. She had to admit that finding Alex that night at the bar had saved her in so many ways from drowning in her own sorrow, Alex kept pushing her and kept her from falling, and she was so thankful. Both women had created a routine that at first annoyed Casey a little because she knew that Alex just didn’t want to leave her alone and she wanted to keep checking on Casey every possible chance she had, but she loved it. She loved having Alex in her apartment, she loved having her company, she loved seeing how hard Alex tried to keep her smiling and laughing, even if that meant that she had to make a fool of herself…she loved Alex.

It was obvious before, when she was working at White Collar and heard about the famous Alexandra Cabot, she admired her. And then running into her every now and then, developing a crush had been impossible to avoid. Finally being able to meet her when she was back to help them with the Connors trial, and being able to spend some time with her, really did get her crush to be more solid and Casey wished every single day that she had been brave enough to say something but then, Alex was gone again. Now having her in her apartment every single day was a bit of torture as she didn’t want to say anything that could ruin what they were building. Casey definitely needed someone in her life, and that someone was Alex, and she was not about to lose her for some stupid feelings.

“Case?” Alex asked as she closed the door behind her.

“Living room!” Casey sighed as she typed something in her laptop, her brows furrowed as she stared at the screen.

Alex chuckled softly as she walked into the living room, smiling. “I suppose you got yourself a hard job?”

“Just doing some research and trying to put everything together to send it to Mary.” Casey sighed again and then looked up at Alex. “Was expecting you later.” She smiled.

“Well, I got done with work before I thought, so I decided to bring some take out and show up earlier.” Alex smiled as she sat down beside Casey, looking at her laptop for a moment. “I think I should hire you to do our research for us. At least for me.” She grinned, looking back at Casey.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully and closed her laptop, putting it aside. “Please don’t. I have enough with what Mary asks me to do to.” She huffed a chuckle and shook her head. “She’s so happy I’m working with her again, and I’m just wondering when it’s going to end.”

Alex tilted her head as she smiled. “It’ll be over before you know it, Case.”

Casey looked back at Alex and smiled. “I know.”

“And I’ll be here to see the day it happens.” Alex smiled as she placed her hand on Casey’s squeezing it tightly.

Casey stared at Alex for a moment, trying to form the words for her the question she wanted to ask. “Why are you doing this, Alex?”

Alex frowned. “Doing what?”

“Being here with me. Supporting me. Pushing me so I don’t fall. We barely knew each other before, and now…we spend every day together.” Casey smiled a little, trying to hide the fact that she was happy about it.

Alex smiled and shrugged. “I know I hated to be alone back when I was in Witness Protection. I know it’s a completely different thing but…I don’t want you goin through this alone, Casey.”

Casey nodded softly as she smiled. “Thanks.”

Alex took a deep breath as she looked down at their hands. “There could be another reason, though.”

Casey frowned as she stared at Alex. “Elizabeth didn’t ask you to look out for me, did she?”

Alex huffed a laugh as she shook her head, looking back at Casey. “No, she didn’t. She doesn’t know I’ve been seeing you, she just knows I’m back.”

“Then, what is the other reason?”

“I don’t think I can tell you. I…I don’t want to ruin what we have.” Alex offered a sympathetic smile.

Casey’s heart stopped for a moment as she stared at Alex, unsure of what Alex could mean but also hoping that it was what she thought. “Nothing could ruin it, Alex.”

“I’m not sure about that.” Alex looked back at their hands, sighing softly. “Casey…”

“Say it, Alex.” Casey said softly, her eyes searching for blue ones.

Alex took a deep breath as she stared back at Casey. “At first…it was because I wanted to be here for you. For you to not go through this alone. But…” she huffed a chuckle. “I always had this…crush…since the first time I saw you.” She grinned. “I was just never brave enough to say it, and then I had to leave again. And seeing you in that bar…I thought it was my chance.” She shrugged. “I don’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage of the situation, I mean…I really do care about you, and I don’t want you going through this alone and I-“

“I have feelings for you too.” Casey suddenly snapped, a faint smile on her face.

Alex frowned, unsure if she had heard Casey right. “You do?”

Casey smiled softly, thinking about what she could say next, but then she decided to do something instead of using words. She wetted her lips before she leaned in and placed her hand on Alex’s neck, bringing their lips together. Alex gasped softly, letting go of Casey’s hand, her eyes widened for a second, not sure what she was supposed to do now. Casey felt that Alex was not moving and thought that maybe she had made a mistake, so she pulled away, but before she could fully move back to her spot, Alex’s hands went to Casey’s waist and pulled her into her lap, her lips attaching to hers again. Casey couldn’t help but smile against her lips, her hands tangling in Alex’s hair while Alex’s hands went up and down her back, pulling her closer. The kiss was slow and tender, until Casey’s tongue teased Alex’s bottom lip, making her moan softly and giving her full access. They finally parted ways as air became a necessity, resting their foreheads against each other’s, smiling and chuckling.

“Bold of you to not use words.” Alex teased as she chuckled, looking at Casey as she smiled.

Casey shrugged. “Sorry, I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.” She bit her lip as she smiled, her hand stroking Alex’s cheek. “So now you see that you’re not ruining anything.”

Alex’s smile widened. “I know that now.” She sighed softly, her hand sneaking under Casey’s shirt and tracing patters in her skin. “Are you willing to try this?” She whispered softly.

“I’m in if you are.” Casey smiled softly. “I…have not been with anyone in years. I’m scared but…I do wanna try.”

“I won’t hurt you. We’ll figure things out together.”

Casey nodded. “We’ll figure things out together.” She smiled as she leaned in to kiss her lips again.

********************

“So, you’re our ADA temporarily?” Olivia asked as she leaned over her desk, crossing her arms as she stared at Alex.

Alex nodded as she smiled. “Temporarily. Unless until they get a new ADA.”

Olivia nodded. “I’m glad it’s you and not Greylek anymore.”

“Was she that bad?” Alex grinned.

Olivia sighed. “I mean…sort of? She did her job but…we couldn’t handle her.” She shook her head. “She talked badly about Casey.”

Alex sighed. “What did she say?”

“’Those days are gone since Casey Novak lied to a judge and got disbarred.’” Olivia scoffed. “She’s lucky I didn’t slap her. I was so close to it, but she left.”

“She’s lucky I wasn’t here.” Alex rolled her eyes. “No one talks about Casey like that.”

Olivia stared at Alex for a moment but nodded. “Yeah. She was out of line, and I failed to protect Casey…again.” She shook her head. “We should’ve protected her.”

“Liv, she did what she did for a reason, and if she didn’t want to drag you guys with her, it was her decision. It was out of your control.”

Olivia nodded. “I know.”

“Does Elliot know about this?”

“I don’t think we’d want to know what Elliot had to say about it.” Munch shrugged. “But we definitely didn’t agree with Greylek.”

“No one ever did. We played it cool for our own sake.” Fin shook his head. “Like Olivia said, we would’ve done something for Casey.”

Olivia huffed a chuckle. “No, I didn’t tell him. He’d have gone off.”

Alex shrugged. “It wouldn’t have been bad, you know?” She grinned.

Olivia chuckled. “Well, he doesn’t have to know about it, she’s long gone now.”

“I’d have definitely told Elliot.”

“Tell me what?” Both Olivia and Alex turned back to find Elliot just a few feet away from them, a frown on his face. “What?”

Alex stared at Olivia for a moment and hen back at Elliot. “Not my thing to say, but Olivia does have something to say.” She grinned as she crossed her arms.

Olivia looked back at Alex and sighed. “I-“ she turned back to look at Elliot and shook her head. “It’s really nothing.”

Elliot raised his brow. “Right…I don’t think I believe you.”

Alex sighed as she rolled her eyes. “Greylek talked shit about Casey, and Olivia was ready to slap her, but she escaped.” She shrugged.

Olivia slapped her arm playfully. “Alex! Seriously?”

“What did she say?” Elliot frowned again, walking to both women. “Did she insult Casey?”

Olivia sighed. “Not exactly, I mean…she made a comment about Casey getting disbarred and that things had changed around here since she was not here anymore.”

Elliot took a deep breath. “Was it just that time?”

Olivia shook her head. “No.”

“Ah, I see you have a new ADA. Alexandra Cabot is back.” Kim walked to them and offered a smile.

Everyone turned to look at her, not expecting to see her back. Elliot turned to look at her and sighed. “You thought it was okay to talk badly about Casey?”

Kim frowned. “Excuse me?”

“Casey was part of us. Whatever you had to say about her, we don’t care. You have no right to talk shit about her.”

Kim scoffed. “She did something illegal. She deserved to be disbarred.”

“She was not disbarred, I don’t know where you got that from.” Alex snapped as she stood beside Elliot.

Kim stared at both of them, scoffing again as she shook her head. “Well. It’s what she deserved after what she did. If they let her walk without any consequences, then she’d have done it again. If she wants to do that, she can be a defense attorney, because that’s what they do. Oh, wait.” She laughed. “She cannot do that, because she doesn’t have her license, right?”

“You bitch.” Alex said under her breath.

“You don’t even know why she did what she did. Was getting her office not enough for you? You gonna drag her name too now? What are you, a fifth grader who’s so insecure that you need to drag people down to feed your ego?”

Alex looked at Elliot. “She got Casey’s office?”

“I only said the truth. What are you so mad about? Are you sleeping with her or what? Do you miss your girlfriend here?”

Alex turned to look back at Kim, giving her the stare that would definitely kill her if she could. “I am sleeping with her! Is that a problem for you?! You think you’re so perfect to say those things about her?! She has the highest conviction rate, you bitch!” Olivia wrapped her hands around Alex’s arms stopping her from going to Kim.

Cragen walked out of his office as he heard his squad and the attorneys yelling at each other. “That’s enough!” Everyone stared at Cragen, calming down. He looked at Kim. “I think you should go.”

Kim nodded and looked at everyone. “I’m sorry.” She simply said before she walked away.

Alex sighed heavily as Olivia let go of her, running her hand through her hair. “I can’t believe her.” She shook her head.

Munch frowned and turned to Alex. “You and Casey?”

Alex’s heart stopped at the question, turning to look at everyone who were already staring at her. “Uh…what did I say? I didn’t-“

“You said you were sleeping with Casey.” Olivia raised her brow as she grinned.

Alex gulped as she nibbled on her lip. “I uh…” she clears her throat. “I don’t recall saying that.”

“Oh but you did.” Fin smirked as he nodded.

Elliot then turned to look at Alex, frowning. “You’re sleeping with Casey? You’ve seen Casey?”

“I- uh. I just had to stop her from talking, that’s all.”

“Right.” Munch laughed.

Cragen looked at Alex and sighed. “Have you seen Novak?” Alex turned to look at him and nodded softly.

“How is she doing?” Olivia asked softly.

Alex sighed. “Guys, I don’t think it’s my thing to say anything, I-“

“C’mon, Alex. We just wanna know how she is. She never answered us.”

Alex nodded softly as she looked back at Elliot, smiling. “She’s doing okay. And yes…we’re dating.”

Olivia smiled. “That explains it all.”

Alex huffed a chuckle. “We uh…we ran into each other when I came back, and from there, we just started hanging out daily.” She shrugged as she smiled. “From there, it just developed into a relationship, and we’re both happy. She moved in with me.”

Elliot smiled. “But she’s not ready to talk about what happened.”

Alex shook her head. “No. She’s not. But she’s okay. She’s working with Mary Clark, keeps her busy.” She sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

“We get it. But let her know…that she’s missed.” Cragen nodded as he offered a smile.

Alex smiled softly. “I’ll definitely let her know that.”

Elliot walked to Alex. “Please…tell her that we’re here for her. Whenever she wants to talk?” He said almost in a whisper, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Alex smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I’ll tell her that.”

********************

“You’re back.” Casey said softly as she smiled, opening her arms as Alex walked inside their bedroom.

Alex chuckled softly as she kicked her shoes off and crawled into bed, getting on top of Casey, and leaning down to kiss her lips softly. “Hi.” She smiled.

“Hey.” Casey smiled against her lips, placing her hands on Alex’s cheeks, and bringing her down for another kiss. “How was your day?”

Alex sighed as she laid on top of Casey, burying her face on Casey’s neck. “It was okay.” She grinned. “A bit hectic.” She huffed a chuckle.

Casey frowned. “Something happened?”

“Yep. We almost killed Kim Greylek.”

“Was that the ADA that replaced me and that you’re now replacing?”

Alex nodded. “Indeed.”

“Why would you do that? And who else was gonna kill her?”

Alex chuckled, sitting down so she looked at Casey but staying on her lap. “We found out that she was talking about you, some bad things. Elliot found out too.” She grinned. “He went off on her, and she fought back but…Elliot and I stopped.” She shrugged.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Oh my god.” She chuckled softly. “Baby, whatever she had to say, it doesn’t matter.”

Alex shrugged. “I don’t want anyone talking shit about you. Whatever happened, no one should say shit about you.”

Casey smiled softly as she sat down, wrapping her arms around Alex’s waist and leaned in kissing her jawline softly. “You’re cute, you know that?”

Alex wrapped her arms around Casey’s neck and shrugged. “I know.” She smiled.

“I love you. Thank you for protecting me.” Casey smiled.

“I love you more.” Alex smiled as she kissed her lips softly. “Also…the squad wanted me to tell you that…you’re missed, and that they’ll be there for you for whenever you want to talk to them again.”

Casey sighed as she nodded. “I will. Eventually.”

Alex smiled, running her hand through Casey’s hair. “I know you will. I told you, there is no rush.”

Casey smiled. “Thank you.”

“Take a shower with me?” Alex bit her lip as she smirked.

“Are you telling me I smell bad?” Casey raised her brow.

Alex laughed. “I just want to take a shower with my girlfriend.”

“To save water, right?” Casey grinned.

“To save water.” Alex smirked.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Right.” Casey wrapped her arm securely around Alex’s waist and moved to stand up with Alex still in her arms.

“Case!” Alex laughed as she wrapped her arms around her neck and her legs tightly around Casey’s waist, hiding her head on Casey’s neck.

“What? We’re gonna go shower.” Casey laughed as she stood up, her hands under Alex’s thighs to hold her and walking to the bathroom.

********************

“Do you know if Cabot is out of the trail?” Munch asked as he looked at Olivia.

Olivia shrugged. “Not sure, she said she’d come as soon as she was done, so she could be here any time soon.”

Elliot picked up his phone and yawned, shaking his head. “Stabler.”

“I’m sure they’ll find him guilty, there is no way they’ll let him walk free.” Fin sat on his chair as he looked at Munch. “Cabot wouldn’t let that happen.”

“We sure know she wouldn’t, but it’s not in her hands after all.” Munch shrugged.

“Wait, say that again.” Elliot got up and frowned, his chest heaving as he listened to what the other line was saying. He snapped his fingers at anyone who would look at him. “Call Novak.”

Fin frowned as he looked at Munch and then at Elliot. “What?”

“Call Casey!” Elliot yelled as he brought back his attention to the phone. “Where was this? Are you sure about it?”

Olivia frowned as she looked at both Munch and Fin grabbing their phones, and then she looked at Elliot. “Elliot, what’s going on?”

Elliot covered the phone and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “There was a shooting in a store. They were holding the people inside as hostages…”

Olivia shook her head. “What does that have to do with Casey?”

“One of the victims…was identified as Casey.” Elliot said almost in a whisper.

Olivia’s heart stopped for a moment as she stared at Elliot. “Oh my god.”

Fin sighed as he shook his head. “How are we gonna tell Alex?”

“Tell me what?” Alex walked to them and frowned as she saw the worried faces. “Who died?”

“Uh…” Olivia  looked back at Elliot who was still on the call trying to get an answer to see if it was Casey or not.

Alex looked at all of them and shook her head. “Everybody forgot how to speak or something? What’s going on?”

“Elliot is in a call right now…there was a shooting.” Olivia said calmly.

Alex nodded. “Okay…aren’t you supposed to go investigate? You want me to do your job too?” She joked as she looked at Olivia.

“Alex…” Elliot whispered.

Alex looked at him. “What?!”

“They identified a victim. The name’s Casey.”

Alex stared at her for a moment, her heart sinking as she tried to process Olivia’s words. “What?”

“We don’t know if it’s her, Alex.” Elliot said as he looked at her.

Alex felt herself starting to panic, trying to take a deep breath. “Is there…where? Where did it happen?”

“They’re still trying to get the shooter out. They just know there are victims who were shot.”

“Anyone tried to call her?!” Alex stared at Munch and Fin.

“No response.” Munch simply said.

“Okay…uh…I’m…I’m going h-home.”

Olivia looked back at them and then at Alex. “I’m coming with you, let’s go.” She grabbed the keys and followed Alex to the elevator.

The whole ride they were both quiet, Alex trying not to panic as she looked out the window. She had tried to call her to her phone and to the house’s phone, but there was no answer. Casey had told her that she’d go out to buy some stuff and to see Mary, but when Alex called Mary, Mary had said that she had already left, and she hadn’t heard from her. She could feel Olivia’s eyes on her, and Alex tried her best to hold back tears. Elliot was right, they didn’t know if it was her. They didn’t know if it was her Casey. It could be anyone else, there were so many people called Casey. They couldn’t have known so easily that it was Casey who had been shot. There was no way to know, not if the cops were still outside trying to get the shooter.

“Alex…” Olivia whispered.

“How is it possible that they can’t fucking say anything? They call and they…they don’t have official information. And she’s not answering the fucking phone.” Alex snapped as her eyes started getting teary.

“Honey, you need to calm down. We don’t know for sure that is Casey.”

“What if it is my Casey?” Alex turned to look at Olivia, tears already rolling down her cheeks.

Olivia looked at her for a moment and then focused her eyes back on the road, sighing. “No. She’s too stubborn to just die and leave you, Alex.” She offered a faint smile.

Alex huffed a chuckle, wiping away her tears. “And she’s too stubborn to let me know if something happened to her because she doesn’t want me to worry.”

“She just loves you, Alex. She’d call if something was wrong.”

Alex nodded softly as she looked out the window again, trying to stop thinking the worse. Once they got to her building, they decided to take the stairs, too desperate to wait for the elevator. Alex got her keys out as fast as she could and almost kicked open the door, walking inside the apartment, she dropped her bag and started yelling Casey’s name.

“Case?! Casey, are you here?” Alex went into the living room, the kitchen and to every room.

Olivia’s phone went off, pulling it our of her pocket and answering. “Benson.”

Alex almost sobbed as she walked out of their room. “She’s not here, Olivia.” She walked to Olivia and stared at her, noticing that Olivia was staring blankly at the floor with the phone still in her ear. “Olivia?”

Olivia hung up and looked at Alex. “Alex…we need to go to the hospital.”

Alex shook her head, covering her mouth. “No…Liv. Please-“

“We need to go, Alex.”

********************

Turns out that to their bad luck, the shooting had happened in the store that Casey had decided to go to. She got shot and she had been unconscious the whole time, bleeding out, so once they got inside the store to get the victims out, Casey had lost way too much blood already, they had barely gotten a pulse, rushing her as fast as they could to the hospital. One of the cops had recognized Casey, but then was told to not confirm anything yet, even if they knew it was Casey. They pulled the bullet out, and Casey was now in intensive care…in a coma. Alex had tried to understand everything that the doctor was telling her, but she was lost, she couldn’t focus on whatever they were saying, she only wanted to see Casey, she wanted to be with Casey; her Casey. She had almost fought the nurses that didn’t want to let her go in to stay with her and Olivia had to talk to Alex to calm her down. But now here she was, sitting beside the bed looking at her girlfriend with a lot of cables on her. This was not happening, not Casey.

“Case…” Alex whispered softly, grabbing Casey’s hand, and bringing it to her lips to kiss it. “I don’t know if you can hear me. The nurse…I’m not sure if she told me to make me feel better or because you really can hear me. She said I could talk to you.” She felt tears rolling down her cheeks as she stared at Casey. “Casey…please, wake up. I need you to come back to me. I cannot lose you.” She sobbed. “We’re all waiting for you. I’m waiting for you. I need you. I…I was so happy when we gave each other a chance, I really thought that I wouldn’t be able to have that chance with you, and then you kissed me.” She chuckled sadly. “Remember? You…you kissed me, and god I was in heaven when you did.” She stroked the back of her hand and stared at it for a moment. “I already knew I was in love with you. I was scared to admit it because I thought it was too soon, but I just knew.” She looked back at Casey. “And I knew that I didn’t want to live this life without you. So please…please…come back to me.” She sobbed. “I need you, Casey.”

The squad tried to switch every now and then with Alex so she could have a break and go eat something or just to get some fresh air. But Alex didn’t want to leave Casey’s side, she wanted to be there in case she woke up, she just wanted to stay there the whole time. 2 more days passed, and they said everything looked good so far, but she just needed to wake up. Elliot had begged Alex to go home and get some sleep and that he’d be there, but Alex had been too stubborn and almost fought him that she would not leave the hospital to go to sleep. Elliot decided to drop it and they all decided to stay outside to let Alex stay inside for another hour. Alex talked to Casey, trying to tell her how the squad was a pain in the ass, but that they were so happy that they could see Casey again. Branch, Elizabeth, and Mary had paid their visits, also trying to convince Alex to go home, but they’d have to fight her to go home, so they didn’t push anymore. Alex laid her head on Casey’s arms as she stared at her; she missed her voice, seeing her smile, her laugh, she missed kissing her and holding her. She just wanted her Casey back.

“Alex.”

Alex opened her eyes, sitting up and looking at the door but there was no one there. She frowned as she tried to stretch, and then her heart stopped when she heard her name again. She turned to find Casey smiling at her.

“Casey…”

Casey smiled. “Hi baby.”

Alex’s eyes got teary, sobbing softly. “Casey. You’re awake.”

“Seems like it.” Casey chuckled softly. “I don’t even get a kiss?”

Alex chuckled softly as she stood up and carefully placed her hands on Casey’s face, kissing her lips softly, smiling against her lips. “You’re awake.” She chuckled softly as she rested her forehead against Casey’s. “I missed you.”

“How long have I been asleep?”

“2 days. Almost 3.”

Casey sighed. “I’m so sorry, baby. I wanted to call you but…”

“You got shot in that moment.” Alex whispered softly.

Casey nodded. “Yes.”

“You remember everything?”

Casey nodded again. “I do.” She sighed. “I’m so sorry if I scared you.”

Alex smiled sadly. “You didn’t just scare me.”

“What you mean?” Casey frowned.

“The whole squad is outside waiting for you. Branch, Liz, and Mary came yesterday.” Alex smiled. “They all waiting for you.”

Casey smiled softly. “They do miss me.”

Alex chuckled softly. “They do.”

“Can we wait a bit longer though? I just want to be with you.”

Alex smiled as she nodded. “Sounds good to me.” She leaned in and kissed her lips softly.

********************

“Hey! Look who’s here!” Elliot smiled as Alex and Casey walked into the squad room.

Casey chuckled softly. “Yes, I’m back on my feet. I’m just glad I didn’t need to wear a cane again.” She grinned softly as she looked at Alex, who had her arm wrapped around Casey’s waist carefully.

“Oh, that’s because I’m your cane? Very funny.” Alex chuckled.

Olivia smiled. “We’re just glad you’re okay, Casey. And to see you back here.”

Casey sighed. “Well, I’m still not back. You got this one for another while if she decides to stay and keep my place.” She grinned.

“Oh, the place you took from me first? How nice of you.” Alex smirked.

“Who would’ve thought, Novak and Cabot together. Can’t say I’m not in for it. I’ll be waiting for the wedding invitation.” Munch grinned as he laughed with Fin.

Alex blushed slightly, turning to look at Casey. “Uh…we’ve just been dating for a little over a year guys. Don’t get too ahead of yourselves.”

“You saying you don’t wanna marry me?” Casey raised her brow.

Alex cleared her throat. “Uh…I didn’t mean that. I-“

“Alex Cabot blushing and nervous. What do you do to her, Novak?” Fin teased, making the squad laugh.

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “Cut it.”

Elliot laughed. “Hey, we were thinking about going to eat, all of us.” He walked to Casey and smiled. “You’re not getting rid of us again, Case.” He winked at her and then went ahead to grab his coat.

Casey sighed softly as she smiled, looking back at Alex. “Shall we?”

Alex nodded. “Also.” She saw the squad walking out and then turned to look at Casey, smirking. “I do wanna marry you, someday.” She leaned in to kiss her lips softly and smiled.

The last time Casey had dated someone was back when she was engaged, not too long ago, and after that, she decided that she was better off alone. That had been a big mistake, she had rushed things before even meeting the person better and she ended up not only emotionally abused but physically too. Of course she knew that not everyone was the same, she knew that maybe she could be lucky enough to find someone who would treat her right, that could show her what true love was, but she still had many scars left, she still had some pieces to put together, and she was not about to risk it again for someone that she didn’t know, and for someone that could be just like her ex. So that’s why she also preferred to go drink alone every now and then; yes, she liked her coworkers, some of them were fun to be around, but she sometimes believed that she was probably more mature than all of them together so that’s why she enjoyed her time alone.

The one time she decided to finally ignore work for a while and go out with two workers, both of them had ditched her for two guys. There was a third guy, but Casey had rejected him even before he tried to make his move. So she found herself sitting alone at the bar with her second drink in hand, wondering if it was time to go home or if she could have one or two drinks more. She knew she had work to do, maybe she could even go back to the office to pick up her paperwork and take it home along with some take out. But just as she was debating with her thoughts, she felt someone sitting beside her, and at first Casey was going to ignore it, but the strong scent of expensive perfume invaded her nose, making her turn to find a blond woman sitting right beside her. She couldn’t help but stare for a moment, finding the woman beautiful. But when she noticed she had been staring for long, she returned her stare to her almost empty glass.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Casey felt chills running down her spine at the woman’s voice, she was not expecting it…she was not exactly expecting to have any interaction with this woman or anyone at all. “Uh…I think I’m done with drinks.”

The blonde chuckled. “Seems like you do know how to count them.”

Casey nibbled on her lip as she turned to look at the blonde again, a small grin on her face. “You don’t?”

“Not when I had a hard day.” The blonde turned to look at her, offering a small grin.

“Well, then I get why you wouldn’t count them.” Casey chuckled.

The blonde nodded. “You got those days too?”

Casey nodded. “When you’re a lawyer…you gotta have them.”

The blonde raised a brow. “Seems like we got the same job then.” She grinned.

Casey squinted her eyes as she grinned. “Wait…I’ve seen you somewhere.”

The blonde chuckled as she extended her hand. “Alex Cabot.”

“Right…Sex Crimes.” Casey smiled, extending her hand to take Alex’s. “Casey Novak.”

“Nice to meet you.” Alex grinned, letting go of Casey’s hand. “White Collar?”

“Actually, yes.” Casey nodded.

“Thought I had seen you somewhere.” Alex took her drink and took a sip of it, never taking her eyes away from Casey.

Casey couldn’t help but stare into those beautiful blue eyes, almost as if they were enchanting her in some way. “So, what brings Alex Cabot into this bar?”

Alex shrugged. “Tough case. Needed a drink.”

“I don’t think I could ever do Sex Crimes. So I respect you for that.”

Alex smiled. “Well…you learn to deal with it…” she huffed a chuckle as she raised her drink. “And this right here helps.”

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “I’m sure.” She smiled softly.

No, Casey was not planning on staying more at the bar. No, she did not plan on having more drinks. No, she was not expecting to engage in a conversation with someone, let alone such a beautiful girl as Alex. She has heard a lot of things about Alexandra Cabot, some rumors, some facts, she never listened to the gossip, but when she saw Alex in a press conference and the next time she found herself in the same courtroom, her curiosity for Alex started, and now she had spent easily two hours talking about everything with her, and she was fascinated. They decided to avoid talking about cases, so they talked about other things, and laughs soon joined in the conversation, giving them both a feeling of comfort. And no…Casey did not expect for Alex to ask if she wanted to get out of the bar; actually…she figured at some point that it could happen, but what she did not expect was for her answer to be yes.

Casey moaned the moment her back hit the wall, her eyes staring into blue one as her hands worked their way to Alex’s coat, pulling it off and throwing it somewhere on the floor. Alex’s hands soon found Casey’s neck and pulled her for another heated kiss, her body pressing against Casey’s. “Alex…” she breathed out once she felt Alex’s lips traveling down her neck and finding her pulse point.

“Yes baby?” Alex whispered as she looked up to look into green eyes, panting as they stared at each other. “We can stop if you want to.”

Casey breathed heavily as she wetted her lips, her eyes landing on Alex’s swollen lips and back to blue eyes. She shook her head, a small grin on her face. “I want you to fuck me.”

Alex smirked. “As you wish.”

********************

“So, Novak.” Jessica grinned as she stood at the doorframe of Casey’s office.

Casey looked up from her paperwork and furrowed her brows. “Yes?”

“I got a question for you.” Jessica walked inside the office, the grin never leaving her face.

“No, I am not going to drink with you guys again. You left me. Plus, I’m going to the cages today.” Casey returned her attention to the paperwork.

“That wasn’t my question, but good to know that we won’t be counting on you again.” Jessica chuckled. “Why do you suddenly look so happy?”

Casey frowned, looking up at Jessica again. “I look happy?” Jessica nodded. “I…don’t think I look any different than I have before.”

“You’re getting laid, aren’t you?” Jessica smirked.

“I-“ Casey scoffed. “Jessica! What the hell? No! I’m not. I’ve been having good cases, free time, I get to do more out of work.”

“Oh, you get to do someone…”

Casey rolled her eyes. “Please get out.”

Jessica laughed as she walked to the door. “I know you, Novak!”

Casey cleared her throat as she tried to focus back on her paperwork. Yes, it was true. It had been three months since Casey started seeing Alex after work. After that night, both of them had exchanged numbers after Casey decided to leave in the middle of the night. No, it wasn’t her first time being with a girl, she had always suspected that she liked girls but never actually got with one because her parents expected her to be with a guy. So it was no surprise that she was fascinated by Alexandra Cabot. She knew she was going against her own words, saying that she was not that kind of person, that she’d mainly focus on her job, but after some drinks and engaging in conversation with Alex, she couldn’t help it; and she didn’t regret any of it. But that was it…just a hook up. Nothing more. She was not ready to get into anything serious, it could never be anything serious. She was sure she was not the first attorney to fall into Alex’s bed, as bad as that sounded, but she heard the rumors. So no, this was nothing more than a hook up and that was it.

As for Alex, she knew the rumors that went around in her own office, she knew the nickname that was now known even at the precinct, she knew her reputation, but she really couldn’t care less about it. It was nothing, they were simply rumors and gossip, she was mature enough to let it get to her, and some of them, were nothing but lied, but again, if they wanted to tell them around, they could, she knew the truth and she knew who she was, and that was it. Yes, she had her hook ups before, she had stopped once she had joined Sex Crimes since she had focused her whole attention in the job, and she barely had any time to focus on her private life. But that night, the night she met Casey, something called her in, and she couldn’t help but go against her own words but noticing how beautiful she was, that beautiful smile she had, that voice and laugh…she got lost. And she knew she wanted more. It was impossible to not want more.

“Come here often?” Alex whispered as she stood behind Casey, smirking at the way she had shivered.

Casey turned to look at Alex and smiled. “Starting to. I come to meet someone.”

“Oh, so you mind if I sit with you while you wait?” Alex grinned.

“Not at all.” Casey grinned as she placed Alex’s drink in front of her. “Thought I’d get ahead.”

“Oh, thank you.” Alex smiled as she sat down. “Had a good day?”

Casey nodded. “It was slow. Yours?”

Alex sighed before she took a sip of her drink. “Delightful.”

Casey nodded again, looking down at her drink. “That’s why you called?”

Alex furrowed her brows as she looked at Casey. “I wanted to see you.” She offered a smile. “Just needed someone to talk to.”

Casey smiled softly, looking up at Alex. “We can go to my place.”

Alex grinned as she nodded. “Sounds fair.”

It wasn’t the first time that they met at the bar, had two or three drinks, and then left to Alex’s apartment. Most of their nights went like this. Sometimes Alex would go to Casey’s office in her lunch time and make a plan with Casey to meet at night, or Casey went to Alex’s office to confirm if they’d see each other that night. It had now become a routine, for both of them, they barely talked about work, they only asked about their day, had their drinks, and then went to each other’s apartments. Casey debated with her mind daily, saying this was definitely not something she did, that this was definitely not her, but she couldn’t help it; Alex was beautiful, the way she dressed, the way she talked, the way she laughed…the way she moaned Casey’s name, the way she trembled when Casey’s fingers were inside her, the way she came undone and stared at Casey, looking so beautiful underneath her. It was impossible to not want more of that, she couldn’t get enough, and she knew Alex couldn’t either.

Alex kissed Casey’s naked shoulder as she moved to lay down beside Casey. “You good?”

Casey nodded, clearing her throat as she tried to catch her breath. “Good.”

Alex chuckled softly. “Good.” She laid on her side, staring at Casey.

Casey felt Alex’s eyes on her, making her turn to look at Alex, frowning as a smile appeared on her face. “What?”

“Nothing…you’re just beautiful.” Alex smiled.

Casey’s breath hitched as she stared  at Alex, suddenly speechless as she heard the sincerity in her words. “So are you.”

“Thanks.” Alex sighed then, moving to get up from the bed. “Guess this is my cue to leave.”

Casey nibbled on her bottom lip as she sat in bed. “You know…you could…stay. It’s late.”

Alex turned to look at her and smiled softly. “I-“ suddenly her phone went off, making her groan as she stood up and went to find her phone. “Cabot.” She closed her eyes as she sighed. “On my way.” She hung up and turned to look at Casey. “Work.”

Casey sighed. “I understand.” She stared at her the whole time as she collected her clothes and got dressed quickly.

Alex put on her blazer and turned to look at Casey, smiling. “I’ll call you?”

Casey nodded. “Yes.”

Alex bit her lip before she crawled in bed and kissed Casey’s lips. “Sleep well.” She whispered against her lips before she pecked her lips one last time and then grabbed her phone and left the room.

Casey sighed as she heard the door closing, throwing herself back in bed and groaning softly. This was only a hook up. She couldn’t have feelings for Alex, and she didn’t. They just knew each other’s bodies now, they were used to each other, they had a good fuck, and that was it. It was a hook up and nothing more. And it was going to stay that way.

********************

“Heard the news.” Alex grinned as she leaned over Casey’s doorframe.

Casey looked up from her briefcase and smiled, leaning over her desk. “Sorry if I’m gonna take some of your cases.” She grinned.

Alex chuckled as she walked inside, closing the door behind her. “I don’t mind. Not when it’s you.” She grinned.

Casey raised her brow as she bit her lip. “Oh, so if it was someone else, you’d have fought Branch or Liz?” She grinned.

“Maybe.” Alex smirked as she stood in front of Casey, one of her hands going to Casey’s waist and the other stroking her cheek softly. “But now I’ll have you closer.” She whispered softly.

Casey shook her head. “We can’t do this at work, Alex.” She whispered back.

“You sure we can’t?” Alex raised her brow.

Casey grinned as she placed her hands on Alex’s waist, turning her so Alex was leaning over her desk, moving her to sit on it. “We can try it then.”

Alex gasped, her hands gripping Casey’s shoulders. “Thought we couldn’t, Novak.” She chuckled.

“Changed my mind.” Casey smiled as she closed the gap between them, moaning as Alex’s hand wrapped around her and her hand went into Casey’s hair to pull her impossibly closer.

Alex started moving her hands down to Casey’s front, but her phone interrupted them once again. She broke the kiss and leaned her head on Casey’s chest. “Not again.” She whispered.

“Duty calls.” Casey chuckled. She kissed her forehead softly before she stepped away from her. “I need to go to court anyway.”

Alex nodded as she hopped off the desk. “Alright.”

“See you tonight?” Casey smirked. “I’d like to finish what I started.”

Alex grinned. “Sure.” She nodded before she left Casey’s office almost in a hurry, calling Olivia back.

After almost two years of knowing each other, Alex could’ve sworn that there was more between them. Some nights, they stayed in each other’s apartment after many rounds, deciding that it was ‘safer’ for them to not go back to their homes in the early hours. Sometimes they even stayed weekends together, spending the whole day in bed making each other come undone, or just simply talking about everything but nothing at the same time. Alex had been afraid to admit it, she had been in denial for so long, but the reality was…that she was starting to feel something for Casey, and it was so obvious, there was no denial. All those days and nights that they had spent together, all those laughs and smiles they had shared; it wasn’t just a hook up to her, it had become more. But the more they got used to each other, the more she noticed that Casey called her whenever she needed to get off her stress or when she had a bad day. Yes, Alex had done that the first few weeks, but after figuring out that she mostly did it because she wanted to see Casey, it’s when her whole perspective of the situation changed. But she could risk what they had if she said anything, so it was better to keep it to herself and continue as they were. What could possibly go wrong?

And as for Casey, she had been nervous when Branch had called her to his office to let her know that she’d be moving to Sex Crimes with Alex. They had figured out that more than usual, they were loaded with cases and sometimes Alex couldn’t keep up with all of them, so they figured that bringing someone to help wouldn’t be a bad idea. And now she’d be seeing Alex daily, they’d be working together. The idea wasn’t that bad, she already saw Alex daily, but not exactly in the building, now they’d be working together, not only hooking up. She was afraid that the more time they spent together, the more she would let herself get lost, and she couldn’t allow that.

The first few weeks went away so quickly. They had someone fallen into an easy routine and even met up for lunch to help each other out with the cases. Thanks to Alex, Casey was not being accepted by the squad, she knew that they were used to Alex, and Casey somehow worked in her own way and that was something that the squad hadn’t agreed on at the beginning, but with the help of Alex, they were getting used to it. For a moment, she noticed the way that Alex had entirely changed since the first time they had met; she was more…soft. Casey couldn’t deny that she liked it, but she was also not sure that she could buy it. They gave each other what they needed, they gave each other pleasure, they gave each other a space to get off the stress of the day or the week, what they had was nothing but sex. She was sure Alex wanted nothing more than that. And she confirmed it soon enough when she saw her with Olivia.

It was notorious the first day when Olivia was basically pushing away Casey, at first she thought that she had just made a bad impression, but then she saw her with Alex. She acted so differently with her, she got so close to Alex, and Alex to her, and their conversations were so easy, Olivia would do anything that Alex asked her to do, and Alex would give in to whatever Olivia asked from her, but if it was Casey, everything would be different. She noticed the way Alex seemed so relaxed with Olivia, the way she just enjoyed having her in her office, and they could stay there for hours. And that’s when Casey understood, that’s when she confirmed her doubts and answered her own questions; it was only a hook up, nothing more.

Alex smiled as she opened the door to find Casey standing there. “Hey.”

Casey smiled. “Hi.” She walked into the apartment and turned to look at Alex, waiting for her to close the door. She took her coat off and sighed softly. “Day okay?”

“It was.” Alex smiled as she turned to look at Casey. She felt something was off with Casey, so she only stood there and crossed her arms. “Was your day okay?”

“Sure.” Casey smiled. “Should we go ahead?”

Alex furrowed her brows, tilting her head. “Are you in a hurry?”

Casey huffed a chuckle. “C’mon, Alex. We both know why I’m here. So, might as well just save time and get on with it.”

Alex felt like she had been punched right on her chest as she looked at Casey. “Casey…I didn’t call you for that. I just…thought maybe we could just spend the night here instead of going to a bar.”

“We know how that ends anyway, at the bar or here.” Casey shrugged. “Or…did you call me to tell me you don’t wanna do this anymore?”

“I’m…confused as to what is happening right now.” Alex huffed a chuckle as she shook her head. “Did I do or say something?”

Casey nibbled on her lip as she looked away from Alex. “Alex…” she sighed. “Why are we pretending like this is something when we both know this is just a casual thing?” She looked back at Alex. “We’ve been doing this for so long now, we fell into a routine but…the result is the same. We end up in bed and then we start over again.”

“So…it’s just a casual thing.” Alex nodded.

“Isn’t it?” Casey raised her brows. “Tell me I’m wrong. I’m-“ she shook her head as she looked down at her coat. “I don’t really do dating. And since we started this, I made it clear. So yes…it is just sex.” She looked back at Alex with a serious look.

Alex nodded again as she looked away. “I’m glad to know now.”

Casey nodded. “Maybe we should give each other some time.”

“I think you’re right.” Alex bit her lip as she tried to avoid Casey’s stare. “Maybe you should go.”

“Okay.” Casey said softly as she put back her coat, walking to the door. She stopped for a moment to look at Alex who was still looking away. “I’ll…see you at the office.” She said almost in a whisper as she opened the door and left the apartment.

Casey had tried her best to keep herself distracted with work and going to the cages after work or every other day that she had some free time. The moment she got back to her apartment, her own words kept repeating in her mind and she felt guilty for a moment, thinking that maybe she had made a mistake and that she had not meant what she had said at all. But she had thought that it was better to say it out loud before it was too late; mostly to avoid herself from falling into something that she wouldn’t be able to recover from. The times she saw Alex at work, she noticed blue eyes glued to her and she knew she did the same, but both of them were now avoiding each other and Casey thought that it was probably for the best. She would be lying if she said she didn’t miss spending her time with Alex, after all, two whole years with her had not been just nothing, and she was trying to convince herself that she had saved herself from a heartbreak; truth was…she felt like she was going through one at the moment.

When the squad went out for drinks, it was normally Casey or Alex who went with them, never together. But this time, they had asked them separately, mostly because they just wanted to celebrate the big victory that they both had with their cases. and they thought celebrating together wouldn’t be bad at all. And it so happened that both ADA’s got there at the same time and the faces they made when they saw each other made the squad figure out that maybe after all, it hadn’t been a good idea to invite them at the same time. Casey was the one that tried to play it as if nothing was going on and went ahead to sit with the squad, engaging in a conversation with Munch and Fin right after. Alex, on the other hand, didn’t know what to do with herself so she went ahead to sit in the middle of Elliot and Olivia, trying to focus on what they had to say it.

“I invite next round!” Fin said as he started pulling out his wallet.

“No, no. I got this one, you got the next one.” Casey smiled as she stood up and walked to the bar.

Munch looked at Alex and raised his brow. “Did we do a mistake on inviting Novak?”

Alex furrowed her brows as she looked at all of them. “Why would you ask me that? We work together.” She chuckled.

“The stares you gave each other when you two walked inside at the same time said otherwise.” Fin took a sip of his drink. “Do we got beef or something with her?”

“Guys.” Alex chuckled. “Casey and I work together, we see each other every day at work, so it was just surprising to see each other outside work, I guess.”

Olivia frowned. “You guys used to have lunch together, you don’t anymore?”

Alex felt her heart stopping for a moment as she looked at Olivia. “We’ve…been busy. Focusing on our own cases.”

Olivia nodded as she shrugged. “No, that’s…understandable.”

“Seems like Novak is getting out of here with someone.” Elliot furrowed his brows as he stared at them.

“You really gonna stare at him the whole time he talks to her?” Munch huffed a laugh.

“Need to make sure is safe, you know?” Elliot shrugged.

“I believe Novak can protect herself, and we will all make sure she’s safe.” Fin nodded as he looked back at Casey.

Alex took a deep breath as she stared back at the bar, directly at Casey. She knew she didn’t have to feel this way, they were not involved anymore, and even if they were still involved in some way, she knew that there was never a thing that stopped them from being with other people. She had thought about it while they were still meeting each other at night, she wondered if Casey was seeing anyone else other than Alex, maybe those days were they didn’t see each other, she met with someone, or whenever she took longer to get to the bar, maybe she took the chance to talk to other people. Back then, the thoughts were there but they didn’t do anything to her because she knew that at the end of the day, she was the one that had Casey in bed with her; she was the one kissing her, feeling her, touching her, it was her name that came out of her mouth in a raspy tone when she came undone. But now, she felt jealousy. Casey could be with anyone now and maybe with them, she’d want to have something serious. The jealousy only became worse once she saw how the guy slipped a card to Casey and then left, and Casey had a faint smile, but the smile was there.

“Casey Novak getting a man.” Fin whistled once Casey returned to their table.

Casey rolled her eyes as she grinned. “Not gonna happen.” She said as she handed everyone their drinks.

“Ah, c’mon, Case. Why not? You’re single, you’re allowed to have some fun, you know?” Elliot teased her as he grinned.

“That’s…not my thing.” For a moment, Casey looked up at Alex and then back at her drink, taking a sip of it.

Alex stared at her until she noticed she had done it for longer than she had meant to, so she did the same and finished her drink. She then reached for her purse and grabbed some money, putting it on the table. “Sorry guys, I’m gonna call it a night.”

“Cabot, Cabot, Cabot…we are supposed to be celebrating both your victories!” Munch remarked as he raised his brow.  

Alex huffed a chuckle, shrugging as she stood up and grabbed her purse and coat. “I know, but…I have an early morning.” She nodded. “But thanks guys, next round is on me.” She smiled before she walked away.

Casey’s eyes followed Alex until she walked out of the bar. Part of her wanted to go behind her but she knew better than to do that. As the squad joked, Casey couldn’t help but look down at the card that the guy had given her, wondering if Elliot was right and she could have some fun, but the reality was, that she didn’t want the guy; she wanted Alex. She looked back at the door and thought for a second time if she should go after Alex, she could still catch her maybe, or she could just simply drive to her apartment. She could. But she was not going to.

********************

Alex took a deep breath as she walked down the hallway with a coffee in hand, convincing herself that she could do this and even if this could turn the wrong way, she at least tried. After she got back to her apartment two days ago, she spent all night thinking about what had happened back in the bar. When Casey had stared at her after saying that it was not a thing she did, she figured out that Casey really had meant that; there had been a night where Casey had confessed that it was actually her first time accepting to go home with someone she had just met, of course she knew who Alex was, but even then, they were strangers before they talked for hours, and accepting to go home with her, had been unexpected for her. And that’s when it hit Alex that maybe, just maybe, there had been a whole misunderstanding in what had happened with them, and she could let it happen, she could let it die there and pretend that nothing ever happened with them, but Alex decided that night that she was not going to let that happen, and she was going to make everything in her hands to show Casey that it was not nothing for her.

Alex knocked on the door softly, a small smile on her face as she saw Casey. This felt so familiar and yet, she was so nervous. “Hi.”

Casey looked up from her paperwork and for a moment her words got stuck in her throat, but as she cleared her throat, she offered a small smile back. “Hi. Need something?”

“No uh…” Alex huffed a chuckle as she looked down at the coffee. “The coffee shop I went to…they made two drinks by mistake, so they gave them both to me. Thought I could do my good deed of the day and bring you some coffee.” She walked to Casey’s desk and placed it in a safe space so it wouldn’t mess with her paperwork.

Casey raised her brow as she looked at Alex for a moment and then at the coffee, grabbing it and carefully taking a sip. “And…it so happened to be my favorite, huh?”

Alex raised her brows. “Oh really? What an odd thing, don’t you think?” She grinned as she walked to the door.

Casey couldn’t help but smile softly as she placed the coffee back on the desk. “Thanks, Alex.”

Alex turned to look at Casey, smiling softly. “You welcome. See you around.” She winked at her before she left.

Casey felt that tingle in her stomach as Alex winked at her, her eyes following Alex until she disappeared from her sight. She nibbled on her lip as she looked back at the coffee, a small laugh leaving her lips as she shook her head. She would’ve believed the excuse maybe if it had been a different coffee, if it had been similar to Alex’s order, or maybe if she was tired enough that she’d believe that unicorns existed, but the look on Alex’s face, the grin, her words…she had done this on purpose and she had actually thought of buying Casey a coffee. And it made her feel warm, something she was not supposed to feel, but here she was; stupidly smiling at the coffee.

********************

The next time Alex showed up in Casey’s office with something in hands, it had been Casey’s favorite coffee along with her favorite dessert. She had used the same excuse as last time, but it was even more evident that she was now playing with that excuse, and she was simply going to Casey’s office with excuses. Was she there to see her? Did she want something? Casey was a little confused as to what was happening, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t like these unexpected visits, the silly excuses, and the beautiful smiles that Alex gave her. And then she remembered why she had confronted Alex in the first place and rethought her decisions of that day; had she had done that out of jealousy because she saw Alex with Oliva? Had she acted out of anger? Had she said those things just because she wanted to ignore her feelings? Casey was afraid to answer those questions, she was afraid to figure out the real reason why she had done what she did, but again…she couldn’t let herself get lost in thought. She couldn’t let Alex in.

Alex knocked on the door and smiled softly. “Hello.”

Casey looked up and smiled. “Hey you. Thought I was the only one in the office.”

“I finished some paperwork, so I didn’t take it home. Thought I saw a light here and wondered if you were still here.” Alex raised the bag in her hand and grinned. “I’m sure you haven’t had anything to eat.”

“You know me so well.” Casey grinned as she got up and cleaned the table beside her desk, signaling to Alex that she could walk in.

“Still have a lot of work?” Alex asked as she placed the bag on the table, taking out the boxes of food and the chopsticks.

“Not a lot. I was just reviewing some files and making sure my notes were right for tomorrow’s trial.” Casey smiled as she sat down, grabbing the box that Alex was handing her. “Why didn’t you just go home?”

Alex shrugged as she sat down, looking down at her food. “I didn’t want to go home just yet.” She said almost in a whisper, looking up at Casey. “Plus, I brought you dinner.” She grinned.

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “And the perfect order. Thank you.” She smiled.

Alex nodded. “So…did you…ever used that phone number?” She raised her brow as she looked at Casey.

“What number?” Casey tilted her head.

“The guy at the bar?”

“Oh.” Casey laughed as she shook her head. “No. I didn’t. Not a thing I do.” She grinned as she looked at Alex and then down at her food.

“Right.” Alex smiled. “Guess I was lucky.” She said in a whisper as she focused on her food.

Casey looked up at Alex and smiled softly, wanting to say more but decided to keep her mouth shut, starting to eat right after. For a while, they didn’t say anything, they just kept each other company while they ate. But then Alex started talking about some cases and making jokes about the squad, which soon after had Casey laughing and talking about her own experiences with the squad. They soon fell into a comfortable conversation, losing track of time and before they knew it, it was late. Alex watched as Casey gathered her things and put together the files she’d be needing for the trial. Once she was done, they both stared at each other, unsure of what was the next move.

“I can take you home.” Alex said softly.

Casey stared into blue eyes, a little unsure about it. “I can just take a taxi that’ll take me straight there.” She smiled softly.

Alex shrugged. “We can grab the same taxi, you’re not too far away from me.” She smiled.

Casey sighed, nodding her head. “Sounds good to me.”

The whole ride was also quiet at first, but then Casey started talking about her trial for the next day and where she was standing at the moment, somehow, asking for approval that she was doing the right thing and that she was going the right way, which Alex was quick to agree with her in everything. The ride seemed so short as they were lost in conversation, every now and then they’d stare at each other and just smile, feeling the most comfortable than they had felt in all these past few weeks. Alex asked the taxi driver to wait for her as she got off following Casey, she walked to the entrance of the building with her and they stopped right there, Casey turning to look at Alex, offering a smile.

“Guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Casey smiled.

Alex stared at her and nodded. “Yes.” She smiled. “Did I ever tell you that I love your smile? Your dimples show up.”

Casey nibbled on her bottom lip to try to stop herself from blushing and her smile to widen, she looked down at the floor and nodded. “You mentioned it once or twice.”

“Well…I don’t mind to repeat myself.” Alex grinned. “See you tomorrow, Case.” She leaned in and kissed her dimple, smiling as she pulled away and walked back to the taxi.

Casey only stood there staring at Alex, waving as she saw the taxi drive away. “Fuck…” she whispered softly as she turned to get inside.

********************

Alex noticed the change on Casey the more she visited her and the more they spent together. She felt proud that she was getting Casey to loosen up a bit more around her and that they were getting back to being close -minus the sex of course-. At this point, all Alex wanted to do was to show Casey that she really cared about her, that she really didn’t just want sex from her. She didn’t know when the conversation would be brought up again, or if she had to bring it up, but she knew that Casey would soon ask or her curiosity would get the best of her, but for now, Alex just enjoyed doing this. She had made it her routine to buy Casey coffee, they had lunch or dinner at their offices, and shared the taxis. Casey on the other hand, she was still questioning everything that Alex was doing, but at the same time, she was enjoying every bit of it, even if at night her mind was clouded with doubts and questions, wondering what Alex was doing. But this was much better than the nights she had cried wondering if she had made the good choice of pushing Alex away, and now that she was back in her life, she didn’t think that she wanted her to ever leave again.

When the squad told Olivia to invite Alex and that they’d be inviting Casey, they had their doubts if it would be a good idea, but judging by last time, things had not been that bad, they had just sat down separately and they had their drinks; yes, Alex ended up leaving at some point for some reason but other than that, things had been just fine, so they thought another try wouldn’t hurt anyone. So when both women arrived together, the whole squad was pretty much surprised but also sure that the night would go just fine if they were now close. It was when Olivia started to figure out what had happened, grinning behind her drink as both women arrived to the table, greeting everyone.

The night went on as they talked and had their drinks, talking about back stories or anything else that didn’t include work, it was their chance to stay away from the job and they were not about to talk about the cases they had. Soon after, they started ordering round after round, Munch and Fin being the first two who became tipsy and started making jokes, making the whole squad laugh. Alex couldn’t take her eyes away from Casey, enjoying every moment of it because her laugh and smile had become her favorite thing in the world. Olivia was the only one who noticed this, so when Casey said she’d go for another round and was followed by Elliot, Olivia took her chance to sit beside Alex.

“So…you and Casey seem to be good friends again.” Olivia raised her brow.

Alex turned to look at Olivia and nodded. “Yeah. I mean…we were. Just, you know…we had been busy, and we had been focusing on our cases.”

“Bull.”

“I’m sorry?”

Olivia chuckled. “Alex, c’mon. You know better than to lie to me. I can clearly see the way you look at her, and you’re gonna tell me that it’s just you being coworkers?”

Alex sighed as she looked down at her drink. “Casey and I go way back…when I started in Sex Crimes…and she was in White Collar.” She looked back at Olivia. “We met at a bar. We talked for hours and…I invited her over.” She tilted her head as she smiled.

Olivia’s jaw dropped then, grinning. “You two hooked up.”

“For around two years.” Alex grinned.

“Shut. Up.” Olivia huffed a laugh and looked back at Casey for a moment who was talking to Elliot. “I thought she didn’t do that.” She looked back at Alex and raised her brow. “I thought you didn’t do that.”

“Well…it was like she called me in, you know?” Alex smiled. “I couldn’t help it and…the thing is that…Casey and I had sort of an argument. She said that what we had…it had all been just sex.”

“And it was more to you.” Olivia smiled.

Alex nodded. “It took me a while to accept it but yes. It was way more than just a hook up.” She smiled. “So…I’m trying to show her just that.”

Olivia smiled. “It’s working.”

Alex frowned. “How are you so sure?” She grinned.

“Because I know she doesn’t smile like she smiles with you. And I can tell she’s more relaxed and happy than she was a few weeks ago.” Olivia smiled. “I’m sure she was just protecting herself.”

Alex shook her head as she shrugged. “From what? I…I don’t intend to hurt her or do anything to her.”

Olivia tilted her head. “She never told you?”

Alex furrowed her brows. “What?”

Olivia shook her head. “It’s not my place, Alex.”

Alex was about to say something but at that moment Casey and Elliot came back with the drinks, interrupting their conversations. Olivia only offered her a small and went back to her seat, joining the conversation with Munch and Fin. Casey sat back down and gave Alex her drink, engaging in a conversation with her. Eventually, midnight arrived, and everyone went their separate ways, leaving Alex and Casey waiting for their taxi. When they were inside, Alex looked into her purse and got a rectangular shape box, handing it to Casey.

Casey frowned as she looked up at Alex, grabbing the box. “What is this?”

“Happy birthday.” Alex grinned.

Casey felt her heart stopping for a moment as she smiled. “You remembered.”

Alex nodded. “I did. Open it.”

Casey raised her brow curiously as she opened the box, gasping as she saw the beautiful gold necklace with her birthstone. “Alex…”

Alex smiled. “I thought you’d like it. I remember you mentioning that was your birthstone and…thought it could be a perfect gift.”

Casey nodded. “It’s beautiful.” She smiled and then turned to Alex. “Put it on me?”

Alex nodded and grabbed the necklace from the box, waiting for Casey to turn her back to Alex so she could carefully place the necklace. Once she was done, she smiled and couldn’t help but grab the necklace that not laid on Casey’s neck. “Looks beautiful.” Her eyes then met green eyes, her breath hitched as she noticed Casey’s stare.

“First stop.” The taxi driver said.

Casey snapped out of her trance as she noticed they were in her building already, clearing her throat and looking back at Alex. “T-Thank you, Alex. You really didn’t have to.”

“No worries.” Alex smiled. “See you on Monday.”

Casey nodded. “Yes.” She leaned in and kissed her cheek, smiling. She grabbed her purse and got out of the car.

Alex waved as the taxi drove away, sighing softly as she touched her cheek, a smile appearing on her face. She was scared that maybe it would be too much, and Casey would make her stop right there, and then finally having the conversation that she had been dreading for so long, but no, she saw the genuine smile on Casey’s face and the spark in her eyes. After all, she made the right choice. Once she got to her apartment, she took off her heels throwing them by the door and then taking off her coat, putting it on the rack along with her purse. Just as she was about to walk to the kitchen, she heard a knock on her door, furrowing her brows since she was not expecting anyone, and it was not the time for visits. She turned to open and almost gasped as she saw an agitated Casey.

“Casey?”

Casey took a deep breath as she smiled. “It so happened that a neighbor was just walking in, and I told him I was here to see you, so he let me in.” She huffed a breathless chuckle. “You should let your neighbors know that it’s dangerous.”

Alex chuckled. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you, and I couldn’t wait for Monday. Or tomorrow. I just needed to see you.”

Alex’s heart stopped for a second, nodding softly as she let Casey in her apartment. She closed the door and had a déjà vu as they stood in the same place they had the last time Casey had been here. She cleared her throat as she crossed her arms. “What do you need to talk about?”

Casey tilted her head as she sighed. “What are you doing, Alex?”

Alex frowned. “What?”

“I just…I thought you’d hate me after the conversation we had…the last conversation we had.” Casey shook her head. “I said…what I said. And…then you started doing all these sweet things for me, and you got me here laughing, and smiling, and blushing and just so…” she smiled. “…happy.”

Alex smiled softly. “Casey…” she walked slowly to Casey, grabbing her hands. “I lied.” She said softly. “It wasn’t just a hook up for me. I…I know it was wrong of me, but I couldn’t help but let myself get lost in you and…I started falling for you. But I didn’t want to ruin what we had.”

Casey closed her eyes as she looked down, tears rolling down her eyes. “Alex…”

“You mean more to me than you think, Case. I’m willing to show you.” Alex placed her hand on Casey’s cheek, making her look back up at her. “What we had…it was more than just sex to me, and I am so sorry if I made it seem like it was just that, but it wasn’t. I love making you smile, I love making you laugh, I love being with you. I miss holding you and kissing you.” Alex smiled. “I’m willing to show you that I mean it.”

Casey shook her head. “Alex…I don’t do relationships.”

“Then why did you push me away just like that? Was it really just sex to you?” Alex tilted her head.

Casey stared into blue eyes and shook her head. “No.” She whispered.

“Then what’s stopping you, Casey?”

Casey took a shaky breath. “I was in an abusive relationship.” She simply said as she shrugged. “I’m afraid to let myself fall for you and then…get my heart broken.”

Alex sighed as she shook her head. “Casey…I could never do that. I am so sorry you went through that. I really am. But Case…I’m never gonna hurt you. You mean the world to me. I’m falling so hard for you, and I can’t stop.”

“You mean that?” Casey looked back at her, a hint of hope in her stare.

Alex nodded. “Every word.” She smiled.

Casey smiled sadly as she placed her hands on Alex’s neck. “Please don’t hurt me, Alex.” She whispered softly.

“I won’t.” Alex smiled as she leaned in and kissed her forehead softly. “And I ask the same of you.” She chuckled softly.

Casey nodded. “I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t mean it. I was just really afraid that I was falling for you and that maybe you…you’d tell me that this was nothing. I wanted to save myself from the pain. And I hurt you.”

Alex kissed her forehead softly again. “We’ll work on it, together.” She smiled softly as she looked back into green eyes. “I want this. I want us, Case.”

“I want you too. I want us.” Casey smiled. “I’ve missed you.”

Alex smiled. “I’ve missed you too.” She giggled as she pulled Casey close and kissed her lips softly.