#caleefornication

New years resolution: 

I’ve fallen for the way that you kiss me over and over and over again and there’s no break and there’s no coming up for air, because I’d rather suffocate in this love than break away from it. I’ve fallen for the way that my body craves your very existence, for the way that I always find my way home to you, and over the mere fact that our fingers aline perfectly with the scars on our skin and the ones that have grown into our hearts, filling in the spaces and making them nothing but whole again. I’ve fallen for the way that you’ve woken up every nerve in my body and for the way that you breathe against my neck and for the way that you hold my hips as if I’m the very last thing that you’ll ever touch.

Life with you is a goddamn manic roller coaster and the seat belt is too tight and I've been screaming to get off for months but my breath is taken by the wind and it soars in the opposite direction of your ears. If I could find another way to beg for my sanity, I would, but the second your lips envelop mine I forget that I was screaming and the fear of falling seems more like an escape than a disaster. Maybe that's why I don't scream louder. Maybe my fear of being without you trumps my fears of being with you. Or maybe the adrenaline has driven me fucking insane. Either way, I know that I feel your absence with every twist and turn. My stomach drops at the thought of you breathing heavily against anyone else's skin. My knuckles are white from refusing to leave when gravity is conspiring against my every ache. So maybe it isn't a trap and maybe the seatbelt fits just right and maybe I'm the one keeping you shackled

Science tells us that the human brain recovers from a traumatic event within 3-6 months, but fuck science because it’s been 22 months and I’m still drowning in your wake.