#caketalks

Merlin wondered if this was what would finally get him executed. He had always thought it would be his magic – after all, in a magic hating kingdom like Camelot, if anything was to get him killed it would be the discovery of his magic. He had never even considered that this might be something he would have to worry about.

Not that he would change anything, no matter the dangers.

Arthur’s lips were chapped, and warm, and Merlin had wondered what they would feel like pressed against his for so long that he could hardly believe this wasn’t just another one of his fantasies. Of course, his fantasies usually involved him doing something heroic and brave – like saving Camelot from whatever evil decided to attack it with his magic, for all to see, and Arthur realising how madly in love he was with his secretly sorcerous servant.

They hadn’t ever started with them in Arthur’s room, sitting in front of the fire and talking about nothing, a flask of wine being shared between them. They hadn’t ever involved him sitting in Arthur’s lap, the prince giggling in his ear.

They certainly didn’t involve Arthur calling his ears adorable, and tugging on them until Merlin stopped him with a kiss.

It lasted for hardly a second before Arthur was pulling away, face pinched and looking much more sober than seconds before. It made Merlin’s heart skip a beat and then flood with fear. He pulled away, suddenly feeling sober himself.

“Arthur-”

“We can’t.” He whispered hoarsely. “It’s forbidden Merlin.”

Merlin gulped, tried to keep the tears out of his eyes as he nodded. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Arthur shook his head. “I’m sorry. If I were anyone else…”

“But you’re not.” Merlin said. He drew in a shaky breath. “I understand.”

He forced himself up and away. Arthur might have protested, might have reached out to stop him, but if he did he hesitated for a moment too long, and Merlin ran from the room without looking back.

///

The next time it happened, it went much more like one of his fantasies - just with Merlin playing less of a brave and heroic role and more of an injured, dying one.

Merlin had to wonder how either of them had thought that going out hunting with just the two of them was a good idea. Not that they hadn’t done it before, but the reports of bandits in the area should really have made them more cautious. They could have at least taken a few knights, like Morgana had begged them to.

It hadn’t been a problem at first. Arthur was more than capable of handling the five bandits that had surprised them, especially with Merlin secretly helping in the background. Three bandits had fallen, and Arthur had just defeated the fourth when the last one decided to turn and run.

Right towards Merlin.

He heard Arthur yell his name as the bandit rushed past him. For a moment he thought Arthur wanted him to stop him, and he almost scoffed. How was he supposed to stop him without a weapon? Magic? Arthur would probably laugh, and Merlin would too, if it wasn’t an honest question.

Not that he got the chance to ask, as he very quickly found out that Arthur’s scream hadn’t had anything to do with Merlin stopping the bandit from getting away and everything to do with warning Merlin of the sword aimed right for his middle.

He didn’t realise he’d been stabbed for an eternity.

And then he was collapsing on the floor, his knees landing in the dirt and jarring his whole body, pain beating through his veins like blood. He blinked and Arthur was there, gently guiding him to the ground. He was saying something, Merlin could see his lips moving, but he couldn’t hear him over the pounding in his ears.

“Arthur.” He gasped out, and Arthur grasped his hand tightly in response.

“Hold on.” He said, and this time Merlin could hear him. “I’m going to get you back to Gaius, and he’s going to fix you right up, alright?”

Merlin nodded, though he had no idea how they were going to get back to the castle. They were in the middle of the forest, a good hour or so from Camelot. There was no way Merlin was going to make it there, not without any horses.

“You idiot.” Arthur whispered, squeezing his hand tight. “Why didn’t you move out of the way?”

Merlin tried for a grin. “Too clumsy.”

Arthur snorted, and then he was kissing him, gentle and yet no less desperate for it. Merlin kissed him back, as well as he could, before he pulled back with a wince.

“Thought… it was… forbidden?” He forced out.

“Shut up Merlin.” Arthur rebutted, and Merlin swore he could hear tears in his voice.

Then he passed out.

///

When he woke, it was to the familiar sights and sounds of his bedroom. His stomach felt like it was on fire, but he was alive. That in and of itself was a miracle, considering that Merlin was certain he was going to die on the forest floor.

He groaned and opened his eyes, intending to call out to Gaius, only for the words to shrivel up on his tongue when he saw Arthur sitting next to him.

“Arthur.” He croaked out, startling the prince from his thoughts.

Blue eyes stared at him for a moment. “You’re awake.”

Merlin groaned, hands hovering over his stomach. “I wish I wasn’t.”

“Here.” Arthur said, and something foul smelling was shoved under his nose. “Gaius said to give you this when you woke.”

Merlin took it blindly and forced it down in one go, doing his best not to gag. “Thanks.”

Arthur said nothing, quietly taking the cup back. Merlin enjoyed the silence for a moment, but then curiosity got the best of him. He opened his eyes and found Arthur still staring at him.

He sat up, as best he could, ignoring Arthur’s attempts to get him to stay still. “What happened?”

“You were stabbed.” Arthur said bluntly.

Merlin couldn’t help himself – he snorted. “That would explain the stab wound.”

“You almost died.” Arthur said sharply, and then, more quietly. “You should have died.”

Merlin swallowed hard and reached out, trying not to show his hurt when Arthur pulled away. “But I didn’t.”

“No, you didn’t.” Arthur looked at him, something cold in his eyes, and worry started to weave its way into Merlin’s heart. “Do you know how you’re alive?”

Merlin’s lips quirked up, though he didn’t feel like smiling. “Gaius’s amazing skills as a physician?”

Arthur shook his head. “Even if I had gotten you to Gaius in time, there was no way you would have survived a wound like that. I’ve seen knights die in minutes from injuries half as severe.”

Merlin didn’t want to ask. He didn’t, but he did. “Then how am I alive?”

Arthur’s jaw tightened as he finally looked away. “Because of your magic.”

Arthur was expecting a response, Merlin was sure. Some sort of explanation, or denial, or an apology maybe. Merlin couldn’t give him any of those. He was too busy trying to figure out what he was supposed to do now that Arthur apparently knew.

“You were bleeding out.” Arthur continued, when it became obvious Merlin wasn’t going to say anything. “I knew you weren’t going to make it, but I tried. I didn’t even get ten paces before you started glowing.”

”Glowing?” Merlin asked, confused.

He’d never started glowing before.

“Your wound.” Arthur said, gesturing to his middle, like that explained anything. “It started glowing gold, and when I checked it was half healed. Gaius gave you a few tonics and stitched your front and announced that you’d be fine.”

Merlin looked down at his middle, saw the white of bandages peeking out from under his shirt. He pulled at them and wondered what it meant that his magic had healed him without him even being conscious.

“Gaius told me everything.” Arthur said, drawing Merlin out of his thoughts. “About you, and your magic.”

“Oh.” Merlin said.

He wasn’t sure what else he could say.

Arthur made a wounded sound in the back of his throat. “Did you really not trust me?”

Merlin closed his eyes. “I don’t know how to trust anybody with this part of me.”

Silence filled the room between them.

Merlin sighed. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”

Arthur made another pained noise. “No. Merlin, I’m sorry.”

He cracked an eye open, dared to give a little grin. “What’s this? Arthur Pendragon apologising? I didn’t know you knew the words.”

“Shut up.” Arthur retorted, playful, though he still looked upset. “You had good reason to lie to me.”

Merlin reached out, slow, and this time Arthur didn’t pull away. “Not anymore.”

“No.” Arthur said instantly, squeezing his hand. “Not anymore.”

Merlin smiled, relieved and exhausted all in one. Magical healing was draining, it seemed. He settled back down, relaxing beneath the covers, and almost jumped out of his skin when he felt Arthur pulling the blanket up to his shoulders and kissing him sweetly on the forehead.

He cracked one eye open, grinned. “I thought kissing a servant was forbidden?”

“I think we can stand to break a few more laws.” Arthur said, leaning down to kiss him properly.

Merlin grinned. “Well, when you put it like that.”

And then he kissed his prince, the laws be dammed.

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