When the goin’ gets tough...the tough bake a goddamn cake.
Sometimes ya just gotta stand up, say “I’ve had enough o’this shit. I’m gonna bake a goddamn cake!”
And so I just pulled this goddamn Cinnamon Streusel Coffee Cake outa the goddamn oven, goddammit.
If you’re powerless in the face of global catastrophe, don’t sit around bitchin’ about it. Grow a set and bake a goddamn cake, like A Real Man!
CAKE INGREDIENTS:
3 EGGS 2 TSPN VANILLA EXTRACT 2 STICKS SALTED BUTTER, SOFTENED TO ROOM TEMP 3 TSPN BAKING POWDER 1 TSPN SALT 1 CUP GRANULATED SUGAR 1 CUP DARK BROWN SUGAR 3/4 CUP SOUR CREAM 1 1/4 CUPS WHOLE MILK 3 1/2 TO 3 3/4 CUPS FLOUR
STREUSEL INGREDIENTS:
2 STICKS BUTTER, COLD, CUT INTO CHUNKS 1/3 CUP FLOUR 4 TBLSPN GROUND CINNAMON 1 CUP WHITE SUGAR 1 CUP DARK BROWN SUGAR
FIRST: PREHEAT OVEN TO 325 DEGREES
GREASE A 9" X 13" BAKING DISH
NEXT: MAKE THE STREUSEL:
IN A MEDIUM MIXING BOWL, STIR TOGETHER THE FLOUR, CINNAMON AND SUGARS UNTIL MIXED. CUT THE BUTTER CHUNKS IN WITH A PASTRY CUTTER UNTIL YOU GET A CRUMBLY TEXTURE. PUT THIS IN THE FRIDGE WHILE YOU MAKE THE CAKE BATTER.
MAKE THE CAKE BATTER:
TAKE THE SOUR CREAM AND PUT IN A 2-CUP PYREX MEASURING CUP. FILL TO THE 2 CUP LINE WITH MILK. BREAK THE SOUR CREAM UP INTO CLUMPS, BUT DON'T GO OVERBOARD. SET THIS ASIDE FOR A MOMENT.
TAKE THE SOFTENED BUTTER, BAKING POWDER, SALT, SUGARS AND VANILLA EXTRACT AND PUT IN LARGE BOWL, AND MIX UNTIL FLUFFY. A STAND MIXER WORKS BEST FOR THIS IF YOU HAVE ONE.
ONCE YOUR BUTTER AND SUGARS ARE NICE AND FLUFFY, MIX ON MEDIUM SPEED AS YOU ADD THE EGGS ONE AT A TIME. MIX UNTIL EACH EGG IS INCORPORATED BEFORE YOU ADD THE NEXT ONE.
AFTER YOUR EGGS ARE INCORPORATED, BEGIN TO ADD THE MILK AND SOUR CREAM, A LITTLE AT A TIME, ALTERNATING WITH A LITTLE OF THE FLOUR. I USE A LARGE SERVING SPOON TO ADD THE FLOUR. STOP THE MIXER ONCE IN A WHILE TO SCRAPE DOWN THE SIDES AND CONTINUE ALTERNATING YOUR MILK/SCRM AND FLOUR, UNTIL YOU'VE USED THEM ALL UP.
NOW MIX YOUR BATTER WITH THAT LARGE SPOON, AND MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS INCORPORATED AND MIXED WELL, AND SLATHER HALF OF IT INTO YOUR GREASED PAN. SPREAD IT OUT EVENLY ALL THE WAY TO THE EDGE.
GRAB YOUR CHILLED STREUSEL OUT OF THE FRIDGE AND PUT HALF OF IT ATOP THAT CAKE BATTER IN AN EVEN LAYER. PRESS IT IN SLIGHTLY.
NOW PUT THE REST OF YOUR CAKE BATTER OVER THAT, AND SPREAD IT OUT EVENLY. ONCE THE SECOND HALF OF THE BATTER IS DOWN OVER THE FIRST LAYER OF STREUSEL, LAY DOWN THE REST OF THE STREUSEL ATOP THAT BATTER AND PAT IT DOWN.
PUT IN THE OVEN FOR 50-55 MINUTES. IT'S DONE WHEN THE CAKE IS GOLDEN AND YOU SEE MOLTEN BUTTER BUBBLE UP ON TOP.
THERE. NOTHIN' TO IT!
ENJOY!
