#caelysstuff

Random question. I keep seeing the term terf and I don't know what it means. Is it just a term for jerks who are mean to trans people or is there more to it?

TERF stands for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists, and it’s a term specifically for people who claim to be active, radical feminists but use that rhetoric to hurt and deny the existence of trans folx. 

Some of them object to the term, I’ve seen some people label it a slur. 

I have seen it used as a general term, but it does have a specific meaning. TERFs have a reaaaallly specific rhetoric they tend to follow. 

They kind of sneak trans-exclusionary thought into feminist-sounding shit. “Men aren’t allowed in women’s spaces” is something you might see a lot, even agree with to some extent, but you’ve gotta watch that kind of shit, because at least one of those posts (maybe THE post) it was a TERF, and turns out they were referring to trans women, and what they mean is “Only cis-women belong in women’s spaces, and also trans-men are confused and self-hating cis-women” (because that’s also part of their rhetoric)(their rhetoric is REALLY GROSS, for the record)

I’ve seen at least one TERF outing themselves as having sideblogs that don’t refer to their beliefs posting subtle TERF-y shit. Don’t know how common that is, but you gotta keep an eye out. I know you can end up reblogging TERF rhetoric and not realizing it. 

(Same with anti-semitic, racist, misogynist, et cetera. slips under the radar sometimes, it’s not uncommon to reblog something and then later find out you were unwittingly reblogging something nasty, I don’t know what best practice is but I try to boost the ‘hey by the way this is bad’ posts when I come across ‘em and be more critical about stuff. We’re human, we miss stuff, and it’s hard to source literally every single post that comes across your dash, especially if it seems mostly harmless.)

Anyway

here’s the wiki about it

“I H*CKED UP BUT IT’S OKAY So IDK if you guys want to hear about like...”

You look alot like my favorite cousin. Had to do a Double check to make sure she wasn't also my favorite Tumblr author ��

You know, I get this a lot, and I think I just have one of those faces? 

My actual first name is Bethany if that helps anybody who’s working through the decision tree of trying to figure out if they know me IRL or not. 

@bandersnatchcrumplesnort

replied to your post

“I H*CKED UP BUT IT’S OKAY So IDK if you guys want to hear about like...”

My heart picked up in sympathetic panic for you, glad you got all that managed!

@justfollowthings replied to your post

“I H*CKED UP BUT IT’S OKAY So IDK if you guys want to hear about like...”

Glad everything turns out okay

@crystal-crochet-chronicles replied to your post

“I H*CKED UP BUT IT’S OKAY So IDK if you guys want to hear about like...”

I'm glad you got your keys back!

@mysticalhermitofdoom replied to your post

“I H*CKED UP BUT IT’S OKAY So IDK if you guys want to hear about like...”

��

Thanks so much guys, it’s fine in retrospect but man there was a good chunk of yesterday that was really stressful and upsetting! 

upon reflection, I’m glad I gave myself a couple of minutes to just... feel my feelings. It let me get through gibbering panic into ‘okay, let’s start thinking logically’ and put the panic away. Which means I didn’t make panic-based decisions, like ‘I’ll just use a brick to bust out a window!’ which was literally my first thought.

so here’s some lessons I’ve learned

upon research, emergency car locksmith services are not as expensive as I thought they were, and not nearly as expensive as my likely next step would have been, which was ‘smash a window out’. That would have been way more costly as well as having to deal with the mess. 

calling a car locksmith would not have been the end of the world, just frustrating and leaving me temporarily scrambling for funds

I’m telling you this so you know, too

glad I had my work number memorized, I need to also memorize like my roommate’s cell number and my other friend’s cell phone, as they are the two people most likely to answer a call from a strange phone number

don’t put off getting a copy of your car key made. seriously.

(if you have the kind with the chip that are expensive to copy, in many older models you just need the chip to start the engine, and can use a plain copy with no chip to unlock the doors. I don’t know about the newer models, but it’s worth investigating)

my neighbor’s really nice and I hope he enjoyed a lovely evening with his family. (his little boys are super cute and love to come talk to my dogs when I’m walking them.)