#c:ritchie

You sure are asking a lot of us, but fine. I’m going to need more wine for this. Since you’re so interested:

Katya and Kenna

Belly and Laurel

Jaycee and Cammy

Pax and Evie

Sebastion and Gisells

Guiren and Madigan

Meredith and Charity

Danny and Rusty

Zelda and Calum

Chanel and Alec

Chase and Matt

Mickey and Kelan

Christoph and Micah

Jonathan and Dex

Joe and Fallon

Ritchie and Stella

Avery and Adeline

Rico and Madison

Samuel and Ilayna

Tyler and Hannah

Shane and Harper

Gabe and Hollis 

“Okay. Professional opinion on each. Here we go. 

Shane and Kenna, why does this sound so good? Surprisingly a fan. Not something you’d expect but eloquent. I think Kenna could teach her a few things.

Madison and Calum, an absolute power couple that would be a total wreck! She’s kind of crazy and trying to fuck an alien. She was one of the few girls he was told he’s not allowed to fuck. Give it to me baby! 

Hollis and Katya, LOVE THIS AS WELL! A Brit and a small tiny person. Adorable. Someone set this up. Free date to Olive Garden on me. 

Gabe and Fallon, YOU MY GOOD SIR ARE GOOD AT PICKING. I hope she calms his soul, but frees his wild spirit! He’d take her to bed like the sexy lil Librarian I know she can be.

Evie and Quentin, these two would be bad news together. All sorts of messy in the best possible way. These are the two I would expect to be banging in the back of a cop car after both getting arrested on their way to the precinct. 

Ritchie and Hannah.. I don’t know how I feel about this. Ritchie has that bad boy, evil mastermind bravado and Hannah has that innocent but likes herself a daddy kind of way about her. I’VE DECIDED I LOVE IT. 

Matt and Danny, they kinda look like siblings so I’m not sure how I feel about this one but I know they have chemistry! So why not give it a go boys! 

Can Zelda handle being the second mom of the entire Gallagher family? 

CAMMY AND KELAN I HAVE NEVER WANTED ANYTHING MORE. THE BABY SISTER OF EVELYN AND THE OWNER OF THE G-SPOT ARE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. Once again offering a free dinner to Olive Garden for these two! 

Paxton and Mickey would be interesting. I feel like I need to see more of Mickey to really get a feel for him but I could be down with this. 

Are you referring to Belly? Belly and Tyler… I LOVE THIS TOO! It’d be interesting to see if he could handle her. Bad boy bravado and all. Give it to me baby!

Whoever sent this did a surprisingly wonderful job.”

“Best thing about Evie? Have you met her? I’ve heard she can fit an entire pineapple up her cooch. Worst thing about Evie? That she’s fucking Ritchie.” 

“I’m guessing I’d go to hell if I said Evie? So I’m say someone who could put him in his place. Like Katya, Monica, or Madison. Or you know… Jail?”

“Adie killed Ritchie.” 

“The autopsy report says that he was stabbed repeatedly. Over and over and over. Organs slice and diced like they’d been put through a food processor. Also found some womanly secretions in the groin area. Anyone else noticed Adie has been strangely quiet since he died? It’s almost like SHE KILLED HIM AND WENT INTO HIDING!” 

“Have you never seen a horror film? It is always the creepy overly happy little blondes. And since she wasn’t the first to die, she is clearly the murderer. Case closed. Lock her up boys.”