#c2e57

Finally got to the point in the campaign where they meet Essek.

jester:

You live a small life with your son after your wife died, running a small town alchemist shop. You find an employer who promises financial stability, even if they're a bit rude. Then one night operatives of an neighboring enemy country kidnaps you, burns down your shop, and drags you through unending tunnels attached to a giant worm monster. You're imprisoned. You're starved. You're on the brink of death. You get periodic, somewhat nonsensical messages in your head promising rescue, but you're not even sure if they're real.

Then one random night your dead wife shows up, introduced by the voice of the messages, and she's now a badass marksman, thief, and mercenary. She also now looks like the people who killed her. She has a group of new friends/family consisting of: a sailor/vessel of an eldritch god, a former wizard assassin, a giant barbarian woman, a tiefling/chosen of a different god, a monk, a teleporting dog, and a colossal pink man who somehow is the most well-adjusted of the group. They're all covered in blood and dirt, and announce that they are the heroes of this enemy country. They keep bringing up you boning your wife. Your wife insists you get a tattoo. She also seems unhealthily attached to the wizard assassin. The wizard assassin is very awkward. The sailor keeps asking if people are actually little dragons in a trench coat. They are all fixated on a chair.

Doing a cheers to beating a kickstarter goal of 8.8 million for one season of a Vox machina show during the first half of episode 57 in c2

Soon they’ll have a fourth season of tlovm and a SECOND tv show featuring the characters they’re currently playing and an NPC introduced during the first half of this very episode as the main characters

Bonus :

Jester: GUESS WHO IT ISSSSSSS~ 🎵

First of all it's so interesting seeing Essek start out with a deeper voice lol

And I actually haven't rewatched this ever so this is my first time seeing Essek's early interactions with the knowledge of his past actions and it's SO FUN to watch

(sam) got none of those words. (travis) skysybil. (laura & marisha) den mirimm. (sam) i wrote down "ten million."

(shadowhand essek thelyss) the luxon is also the source of a very potent magical force. and what you may have gleaned from staring into one of these beacons is one of many funnels of dunamis power. it is the basis of how we've been able to free ourselves from the binds of the lineage the betrayer gods left for us and to carve our own fates, choose our own paths and sidestep these destinies placed upon us nonchalantly by gods that use us as playthings. (beau) okay.

(travis) oh, natural 19, 17. (matt) natual 19 turns to a 17? (travis) oh, plus two, no, 21. (sam) reverse math.

(jester) did you just ask her if she was on her period?

(fjord) if you wouldn't mind, we'd appreciate it. just to check our pants and make sure no one needs a change.

(matt) it's a splashy water investigation check.

(fjord) i know that i talked to a 1200 year old drow that's been a fucking million different people and a goblin that was probably 999,000 people. like, fuck. who knows what we're in the middle of now?

(caduceus) the wildmother spoke to me while i was in the cave and she thinks we're going the right direction. (jester) see, everything's good. (beau) and what direction is that? (jester) toward the piss.

(jester) sorry i put my feet on your back. (beau) it was—it was a little funny. it was a little funny. (caduceus) i don't remember that.

(caleb) i'll tell you what, though. for the first time in a very long time, i feel...hopeful. (jester) you look like you feel hopeful, caleb.

(caleb) you know what might soften the blow a little bit? (nott) alcohol?

(nott) you're so tall, but your slaps are so ineffectual! it's like you have rubber wrists or something. it did almost nothing to me. nothing at all! how do you even hold the falchion?

(nott) i'm scared. (jester) yes, but you love him. you don't want to be drunk the first time you see him again. (nott) i was drunk the first time we—.

(fjord) just a hand. and then an arm. and then an ear. and then like, your lower jaw. (jester) and then, big ol' goblin titty.

(matt) not looking happy and healthy, but then again, what good dungeon of penance would?

(caleb) are you okay? (nott) nope! (caleb) well, if it's any help, you're not alone. no matter what happens, we'll be here for you.

(caleb) it's not a conjugal visit. is that one of the criteria? (nott) i don't know! i'm prepared for anything! you don't go to a date with two dollars in your pocket and shitty underwear, do you? no! you wear the best fucking underwear you own! just in case!

(yeza) who's—who's there? (jester) guess who it is?! i don't have a word limit now buddy!

(nott) she's really strong, so if you did, she might just, like—. (jester) i would cut you. (nott) yeah. i was going to say, like, restrain, he's my husband. (jester) don't you hurt my friend. (yeza) who—? (jester) she loves you so much.

(yeza) it'll take a little getting used to. i don't even—that's a lot of teeth.

(matt) his grip isn't very strong, he's still pretty weak. (sam/nott) never was. (liam) like fjord. (sam) it's like five noodles at the end of a stick.

(travis) are there like six kobolds inside of his fucking robes? (matt) make a perception check. (travis) natural one! (matt) like 17 kobolds. it's following you, fjord.

(jester) i like this guy. (nott) i don't know about this guy. (jester) i think he's pretty cool. (caduceus) i kind of like him.

(sam) i love you, travis, but three months at sea, two weeks in ghor dranas, my storyline completed, just a clean arc, just a clean arc, yours is just whaaat? (travis) yeah, can't help you if you have a thin storyline.

(laura) you guys haven't tried to bone yet. you don't know. (sam) me and travis? we've tried a lot. didn't work. square peg and a round hole.

(matt) goblins are more of a drum and bass thing. drow's more edm, i think. trance.

(nott) yeah. these guys have gotten me into a new line of work. chemistry's good, baby, but killing's better.

(jester) oh, yeza, i do want to do that for you.

(beau) leave every place better than you found it. that's really the only direction i have at the moment. (jester) that and stay alive. (beau) stay alive and listen and something else.

(nott) what was the chair? (matt/yeza) you don't wanna know about the chair.

(jester) are you planning on burying a body there or crematory-ing a body there? (caduceus) well, i suppose whichever one of you i like least. yeah, that's a little joke. (fjord) caduceus humor.

(yeza) i haven't seen a beach before. (jester) it's really pretty. (nott) yeah, except for the water.

(nott) you guys wrap this up, my man is a little bit jittery. i'm going to take him to bed. (fjord) oh, boy. we don't need to hear your sex code. we will leave you to it!

(beau) sorry i was a little cagey, past, you know, few hours. (sam) campaign.

(jester) it'sokay,wedon'thavetotalkaboutthistonight. iknoweverythingalready,itdoesn'tmatter. (laura/jester) and i turn over and go to bed. (marisha) jester learned about romance from porn, oh no!