“Come on, Y/N, you have to think of something,” her dad pleaded. She didn’t really know.

“Anything’s fine,” she responded to him, hiding behind her phone.

“Well, fine. We could do nothing. We don’t even have to celebrate your birthday, how’s that?”

That’s a little odd. Just because someone doesn’t know what they want, doesn’t mean they don’t get to celebrate their special day. She ignored her father’s weird outburst, and continued to stare at her phone. Waiting for anything to pop up.

After a couple of notifications on Facebook from the family obligatory birthday wishes, she started to see what her friends were up to. Sometimes they’d be there, sometimes they wouldn’t. She wondered if it was one of those times. It seemed as though her friends were all hanging out, and she wasn’t invited. Not one wish, or at least a text message saying happy birthday. It was okay with her, though. She understood. Sometimes people don’t have time for her.

“Are you even listening to anything we’re saying?” her mother asked.

“No not really,” she replied honestly.

“You know, maybe your father’s right, maybe we don’t need to do anything.”

She said nothing again, the weird outbursts from her parents didn’t make sense. If it was her sister acting like this, of course all the attention would be showered on her. It always is. But instead she turned her eyes to the television, hoping something would save her. When her favorite show came on, she asked if they could watch that. With an eye roll they reluctantly agreed.

By the time dinner came around, her sister was still at work. “Should we even wait for her?” her father asked. “I mean she is already late.”

“We can wait a little bit longer,” she suggested. But like always, she was ignored.

“Let’s just go, the reservation isn’t going to wait around any longer,” her mother snapped. They were on their way. Just the three of them. She felt bad her sister couldn’t make it, but it wasn’t her decision. Just her parents’.

When they arrived at the restaurant, they were greeted kindly and sat promptly. These were little things that angered her parents, so she was happy that the service could have a sixth sense for that kind of thing. The evening was spent talking about her sister’s accomplishments and what she plans to do with her life. Nothing was mentioned of the girl sitting at the table, who was wearing her favorite boots and a cute hat to match.

Since her sister couldn’t make it, presents were put off. She was fine with it, she never really minded it. At least her parents got her presents, she was thankful. But halfway in, after the appetizer and before the meal, her sister called.

Almost twenty minutes was spent trying to counsel her sister and tell her to just wait at home, that they’ll be home soon. After the trivial phone call, her mother spent the last half of dinner complaining about how selfish her sister was and that it was ‘Y/N’s special day,’ how selfish of her was it to ruin it?

She never felt more out of place, but she thanked her parents for buying her dinner. It was her favorite, and that in turn was enough to keep her smiling. The ride on the way home was silent, but she was thankful for it. She didn’t need words to tell her anything. She really wanted to just curl on the couch and continue watching her favorite show.

But when she got home, her sister was playing some game. Her parents ordered her to shut it off, but she kept saying “Just give me a minute.” After a minute on the dot, her dad pulled the plug from the console, explaining that her minute was up.

Her sister was screaming, yelling at them of how inconsiderate it was to do that. The girl sat on the couch and waited for it to be over. She knew what was going to happen. As always, her sister wasn’t going to be held responsible, and somehow it’ll be her fault for even having a birthday in the first place.

How dare she be born on this day? How dare she try to have a good time? When the bickering was over, it was time for presents. She was happy about that, and they got her things she’d requested. A new All Time Low hat, some cool CDs, what a great turnout this year had been. That was, until her sister piped up, claiming they hadn’t gotten her this much for her birthday. And that was the last straw. She didn’t care anymore. She didn’t want to be with them anymore. She was done with everything they tried pulling today.

“You know, I’m just going to go to bed,” she told them.

“Are you alright, sweetie?” her mother asked her.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She faked a smile. “Thanks for the birthday guys, it was a lot of fun.” And she went downstairs and she climbed in her bed. She texted her very best friend in the world, Ashton, who was the only one who could make this shit show any better.

After a brief conversation, Ashton was on his way. She felt bad asking him to do this for her, but what else could she do? All she wanted and needed was a friend. All she wanted was someone to talk to who understood. Ashton always understood.

He showed up at her window, knowing better than to just waltz in through the front door. Her window was broken, and she could hear him outside. He threw rocks at it anyway. She smiled genuinely for the first time in a while as she let in her best friend, and the first thing he did was hug her. That’s all she needed until she burst into tears in his arms.

“What’s wrong, love? Tell me what happened, please?” his soft grunge voice calmed her. His arms held her securely, but she led him to her bed. She crawled into it, and he followed without question. With tears still streaming down her face, she turned to face him. Their legs were entangled, and he was stroking her hair, drinking in every word.

She proceeded to tell him all that had happened that day. Every little thing that added up, that made her feel just a little bit more worthless than she already felt. He listened to her, and he listened to her until her voice got hoarse from sobbing and talking, and explaining.

There was a brief silence after she was done. But soon it was filled with his voice. “You know I love you, Y/N. Right?” She nodded. Of course she knew her best friend loved her. It was just everyone else she was worried about. “So believe me when I tell you, that this was beyond your control. That it’s not because everyone hates you, and it’s not because no one thinks you’re not worthwhile. It’s just everyone is so caught up with their own lives that they don’t bother to notice the little things. Like how much it bothers you when people yell, or how much it kills you inside to not be noticed by them. But I notice you love, for everything you are, okay?”

She started tearing up, but just because of what Ashton had said. Not because she was sad, not because she felt worthless, but because Ashton had such nice words to say to her. She was happy for once, and he was the cause of that.

“Did I ever tell you about my 18th birthday?” She shook her head, she didn’t much trust her voice at this point. “Well, it wasn’t too great either. I woke up to a fight, a pretty bad one between my mom’s boyfriend and her. And before I even really knew what was going on, Lauren and Harry were in my room, scared too. So while I thought the day couldn’t get any worse, it did. My mom spent the whole day crying about it, and forgot about my birthday. Harry and Lauren were there for me, and they were all I really needed. But still, it was shit, you know? I’m here love, I know what this feels like. And you’re not worthless. You never were.”

By now she was crying against him, soft sobs that make her feel less alone laying next to this boy. Someone who understood what she was going through. Someone to hold her hand through the hard times. Someone who could Safety Pin her pieces back together. That’s all she really needed.

“Just do this, Y/N. Here, hold your hand like this.” She looked up at him, probably looking like shit, but she didn’t care at this moment. All that mattered was Ash. He took her hand in his, and she shivered from the warmth of it. He held her hand so that all her fingers were down, except one: the middle one. “Raise yourself high, and your middle finger, ‘cause baby, they all think we’re twisted.” She smiled at him and he booped her cheek. “There’s that beautiful smile I’ve been waiting for.

“Ashton?” she asked him, her voice sore from not talking very much after crying. He looked at her, giving her his full attention. “Why do you keep coming back to me? I mean all I do is cry on your shoulder, and you make me feel better. Why?”

“Listen to me, Y/N,” he pulled her close to his chest. “Once I’ve had a little taste, I’m addicted, you know? I’m addicted to your fix. We’re both broken, but when I’m with you, we pull each other together. You’ve got broken pieces, and I’ve got them, but maybe our broken pieces fit the missing holes in each other, you know? We may be lost, but we’ve found each other, and love, you’re my home. You make me feel at home, and that’s a feeling I’ve been longing to feel.”