#c.a.l.m.

Because a life lived in fear is equal to no life at all, I won't gamble my life on the fickle world of 'what will they think' and wake up one day thinking I have wasted the wonderful fact of my own existence. I won't worry about the fear, jealousy, solitude, the system that weights duty against desire and pronounces desire the loser. They're all by-products of love, unavoibable obstacles implated in my core by generations of parents, grandparents and the people and yet are unhappy, and who blaming themselves who have lived too timidly will attack me for having dared. I live on the other side of their wall, I break through their rules of loving, searching for my own alternative ways, no matter the morals agreed collectively, the prudishness and punishments, the accepted forms of loving, family, monogamy and far too much imprisionment. In secret, in the safety of my apartament, inside my head, I will create a space where they don't belong. A place where I am free. My neighbours won't know about it, my family won't know about it, and those who think they can be part of it but haven't made the sacrifice, are not welcome. There, I will practise my secret rituals with those who like me have defeated their fears, days and nights, out of sight and silently.