#c!shitty

“Ladies and gentlemen! For, what, years now? Penisunavailable had been tormenting us, treating us like shit-- Ruining everything we care about, betraying our trust, acting like he’s sooooo high and mighty and powerful than us!” Shitty’s voice rang out through the large room.

Shitty suddenly turned to face Penis, walking a couple steps towards him, leaning close and tilting Penis’s head up to look at him. “Not so high and mighty are you now, huh, Penis?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Penis hissed, glaring up at Shitty. Oh, oh if he could just pull himself away from the chair, he’d surely snap the other’s neck in a second. “I am more powerful than the rest of you!” Penis’s voice rose into a frustrated laugh, a grin tainting his face. “I’m the owner of the server!”

“And yet here you are… Strapped into this electric chair, with no way of escape.” Shitty replied. His voice was still just as smug and steady as before, unfazed by Penis. He stepped away again, holding up a remote and facing back to the audience. “With the press of this button, Penis will finally get the consequences he deserves!”

Shitty turned to Penis again, his grin clear as day, stretching across his face. He hovered his finger over the big red button, seconds away from pressing it.

“No- No! No, don’t!!” Penis suddenly shouted, trying to pull or yank himself away from the chair. It just kicked in now how fucking terrified he was. He didn’t want to make a scene, didn’t want to show his vulnerability, but the words left his mouth before he could even stop them. “Please-- Fuck, just- I’m sorry! Don’t fucking do this, Shitty! We were- We were friends--”

“And then you RUINED MY LIFE.” Shitty snapped, stepping close to Penis. “And now you’re getting the karma you should have gotten sooner!!”

“Listen- Listen! No! Not this-- Shitty, please--” Penis’s voice trailed off as his eyes snapped up to the remote in Shitty’s hand, and how close his finger was to pressing the button. 

“Shut up, or I press the button.” Shitty simply said, and then the room went quiet, and Penis’s pleading dissolved into nothing. Shitty turned his head back to turn to the audience again. “Are you all ready?”

Hushed murmurs and nods came from the crowd. Nobody dared to speak out against it. After all, Penis would just respawn, right? It wasn’t worth the trouble. Or to some, the thought didn’t even cross their mind, Penis deserved this and had it coming, anyways.

“Goodbye, Penisunavailable.”

There was a click of a button, and then a scream that shot through the air. All in one second, Penis felt nothing but just searing pain as the electricity shot through him. All he could see was Shitty’s stupid grinning face staring him down, but he still caught the slight glimpse of guilt shining in his eyes.

“SHITTY! HOW FUCKING- HOW COULD YOU- WHY?! WHY- WHY!!” Penis screamed, jolting with every electric shock that pierced him, and struggling against the restraints. He sobbed and screamed, tears streaming down his face. “WE WERE FRIENDS!!--”

And then… It went silent. His shouting stopped, with a gasp. His eyes glazed over. He went limp in the chair. And then, with a cloud of smoke, he vanished, and a message rang out on everybody’s communicators.

[Penisunavailable was electrocuted to death.]

The room was quiet now. Everybody was standing and watching in shock. Shitty’s eyes were still trained on the spot where Penis had been just seconds earlier. He slipped his mask on to cover his face, to cover the tear that streamed down his cheek. And quiet enough, that nobody else could hear…