#c!felix

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT: [SPOILERS AHEAD]

some legends are told, some turn to dust or to gold but you will remember me, remember me for centuries

♥♥♥

Felix had long since lost count of the years.

Perhaps it had been a decade, that xe'd been trapped in this neverending cycle. Or perhaps it had been more. Time had a way of slipping by when you were immortal. Especially when every year seemed the same, filled with brief moments of joy followed by crushing grief and loneliness.

The worst part was the memories. Xe were the only one in the world who knew what was happening. Everyone else was either mortal, or... Paci. And Paci couldn't remember... anything. Ze couldn't remember her.

In the dark of the night, when the dim glow of xyr wings was nearly extinguished with grief, Felix almost wished xe were the one trapped, instead of Paci. At least then xe wouldn't have to live with the memories, and the knowledge that she had failed star.

But Felix knew xe couldn't do that to Paci. She couldn't bear knowing that xe were responsible for causing Paci so much pain.

Yet xe didn't blame Paci. It wasn't zyr fault they were trapped in a timeloop, and dying wasn't exactly fun. And the pain of having your own memories hidden from you sounded unbearable.

That was what made the grief bearable. No matter how much the grief tore at Felix's chest, xe at least had the comfort of knowing that xe kept Paci's memory alive. In the darkness of the night, Felix sobbed, but whispered four words to herself, four words that xe clung desperately to.

It’s quiet when xe opens xyr eyes, just like it always is in the aftermath. Instead of her bed though, she awakens in a fog bank, the floor cold and hard beneath her. 

A figure appears in the mist, silent and ghostly. It's familiar, achingly so, and as they offer their hand to xem, xe smile softly. It’s time to dance. 

They waltz. Or at least, they sway together, a pendulum dancing to nonexistent music.

It's quiet. 

“You left me.” she says as they sway together. “You left me.”

They don’t say anything, face shifting and out of focus. 

“Why did you betray me? Was it… was it my fault? I'm sorry. I didnt- i didnt mean to.” xyr breath hitches, and xe stumbles slightly, out of step. 

Silence is the only answer, like always. 

“It’s not- whatever I did, whatever caused you to do that… It was cruel. Okay?! It was cruel and you betrayed me, and for what? What- what did they have that I didn't?” she pushes away, breaking apart. 

A shaky sob echoes through the space, out of place in the silence. “I don't… I'm not sure I can forgive you for that. I don't think I want to. Maybe? I miss you and I love you and I wish you were here but… you hurt me. You broke us. That's… I don't think that can be forgiven.”

Embers spark and dance in her hair and feathers, burning away some of the fog. “It’s your fault, okay? Im, i didn't cause this! This… I had nothing to do with this!” 

The embers burn brighter, small flames igniting on xyr primaries.

“Did- did you ever think about your actions? Did you ever consider someone else for once your fucking life?”

She steps forward, more fog being burned away as her anger burns brighter. “I waited for you, did you know that? I waited, and I watched the door, and when you finally showed up, I was so happy. Did you know that, love? Did you know that for a minute, I saw you, and thought everything was going to be okay?”

Two steps forward, one step back. Shadows dance, obscured by the thinning fog. 

“You could have saved us. You could have done the right thing.”

She stalks closer, fists clenched and wings aflame. “But you didn't.” Tears evaporate due to the heat. 

“And I HATE YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT!” 

Flames burst outwards, burning away the last of the fog and leaving nothing but emptiness behind. They disappear.

It’s quiet, and she cries because of it. Sobs echo in the place she left.