#bxtxy

i don’t recognize the way you love

baran al-hashimi x trinity santos x yolanda garcia; w/c: 5.9k

taglist: @sepisbabe @lotties-ashwagandha

This is from Baran’s pov, but Trinity is triggered during sex, and I do show that clearly. No explicit discussion of past sexual abuse. Trinity doesn’t communicate boundaries, so Baran steps over the line by accident.

The silence stretches again. Garcia doesn’t move to leave. Baran isn’t sure whether she has more to say or if she doesn’t want to leave Trinity quite yet. Neither option is appealing to Baran.

“Did you know? About us?”

“I suspected,” Garcia admits, sees the half-mortified look on Baran’s face and continues. “She gets soft around you. Not in her words or her body. But something just relaxes a little. No one else sees it.”

“You do,” Baran says quietly.

“Well, I have practice seeing Trinity.” Again, it stings. Garcia looks away. Baran looks away.

Or, Trinity panics during sex with her girlfriend.

this could so easily turn into garsanshimi with yolanda proving to trinity that she can listen to the other woman’s wants. and trinity being coaxed into sharing them with baran looking at the pair of them like 🤨 how are you both so hot and also such bad communicators

yes! i wrote that super quickly and was intentionally pretty vague. but i think yolanda pushes her partner hard in the opposite direction when she's being pushed past her limits. i.e. taking back control and taking it forcefully instead of just communicating. without true in-the-moment regard to her partner's feelings about it. it's not mean-spirited at all. it's just kind of a knee-jerk reaction to feeling vulnerable/threatened. but yolanda's intentions don't really matter when the result is harm. and it's not like all of yolanda's partners just took whatever she gave them. but trinity did.

and trinity just wants to be good. i don't think of her as strictly submissive, but i think that's often how yolanda likes her because she has a hard time being submissive herself. and yolanda is more forceful about her desires than trinity. ultimately, i think trinity's desires and what she feels comfortable with are grossly impacted by her childhood trauma. it's something that you can't really untangle.

and i think trinity is really good at existing in difficult situations by taking any uncomfortable feelings, putting them in a box, and divorcing herself from them. when i wrote that, i was not at all implying trinity was assaulted by yolanda (which i know is not what you were saying, but i just want to make that clear). i just that maybe there were times where trinity should have said something wasn't her cup of tea and didn't. or maybe didn't process her feelings about a situation until later. or, doesn't know what she wants from sex, has never really been given many opportunities to find out. but she feeds off of approval and satisfying her partner.

like i wrote in the way you love, i think trinity's reaction to something being too bad to push down is to either lash out unexpectedly or shut down. and maybe yolanda saw hints of that. or maybe she stopped once or twice because trinity clearly was not in the right headspace and just wouldn't talk about it. either way, she noticed enough to wonder and feel guilty at least.

but yes, to finally address your ask, i can absolutely see yolanda sitting down with trinity for a discussion. yolanda's clearly in a better place than when they initially stopped talking, and it freaks trinity out. she's like, why are we doing this? why do you care? and she's shocked to learn she's not sitting across from her out of guilt but out of genuine care for her wellbeing.

thank you so much for taking the time to send this. it absolutely made my day to read.

i am a big fan of the fluff and smut and angst that other very talented garsanshimi writers have posted here and on ao3. i wouldn’t have gotten into the ship without them!

and i bend over backwards (probably too much sometimes) to make a fic canon compliant and in character, so i’m thrilled to know it landed that way. there is soooo much to explore between the three of them — baran’s shame, trinity’s past, yolanda’s hard exterior and how it all affects their capacity for intimacy.

with a show like this, there is even more about these characters that we’ll never actually know. but i have my own headcanons and interpretations, and i borrow things from fanon. so it’s really cool to hear that it feels “real.”

Baran panicking and Yolanda helping??? and TRINITY Communicating!!! YOUR MIND!!! HOLY SHIT

I am absolutely fed and full and wow

thank you so much!! i think baran makes trinity brave and that’s the only reason she was able to ask for what she needed, even if she could only do it indirectly through yolanda. i’m still kind of forming my read on yolanda, but she def has real feelings for trinity buried somewhere. and baran is the most lovergirl sensitive soul cutie with an immense sense of shame that can manifest as guilt