#butifyoudo

Okay, that was one other time that I lied to you. But there were multiple times where I have asked you if you "bet your love on it" when something was wrong and you said yes, but there was actually something wrong. YOU just didn't tell me because it "wasn't anything." If you broke your leg and I asked you what was wrong you would still say nothing and if I asked if you bet your love on it you would say yes because breaking your leg "wasn't anything." But even so, never did I question if you loved me enough or stop saying "Do you bet your love on it?" Therefore, you can't be so hypocritical when you tell me to not lie. And just all this thinking made me realize that I am a bad boyfriend. I ignore you constantly to play video games, most of the time I ask you to repeat yourself, I let you spend thousands of dollars on me, and I don't even have a job to repay you for things you have done for me. You taking away "Do you bet your love on it?" is one of those things that you can't take away. When I said I would just stop saying "I bet." to whenever you say "stinky butt" it has the same concept. and you just saying "K." when I said I would stop saying that shows that you really don't give a shit. I made "do you bet your love on it?" such a big deal because you can't take away little things that we do. Me taking away "I bet." in response to "stinky butt" has the same concept and I am really sad that you didn't care I would stop saying it. I guess you just don't give a shit anymore. Taking those small things away will be the beginning to taking other insiders away like the "pillow" and "do you wanna die?" Eventually it will start deteriorating to not saying good night and sweet dreams, to I love you, all the way to stop saying "baebae" or "bae." By then, we wouldn't be in love anymore. You see what I'm getting at? When I'm mad, I want you to be mad to and not be passive because it shows you don't care. If you are just like "K." to everything, the terms will stand, we can't have a big argument, stop talking, then talk and fix everything to how it was and make up. Or is it that you don't want to make up? Do you really not care about us anymore? I mean I know you hate confrontation but if you're avoiding it to the point where you're passive when I'm pissed and you're letting everything I say just stand without any contest, then it two things 1)It's a dominate, abusive relationship and 2)The people involved just don't care.

Baby, we need to have these arguments so we can settle things, but if you don't want to then it's okay I guess. But just know that if we don't argue and just let everything stand the way it is, it's, sooner or later, going to end us breaking you and me apart and I never want that to happen. Taking away the "Do you bet your love on it?" question is just the start. Other things will be lost and sooner or later promises are going to be broken. I just don't want to lose you and the biggest fear in my heart and head today was you just coming out of no where and saying, "I don't want this/ to be with you anymore." *Sigh* I love you, I really do. I'm so sorry for being a bad boyfriend. I could have sworn I was trying my best, but I guess my best isn't good enough for you or I need to try harder, or both even. I'll do better next time baby. I really thought that talking to you and staying up all night along with everything else I do was good enough for you but maybe I just don't meet your standards. You say you feel bad when I wait on you but its really the least I can do for you. Just tell me what you need and I'll find away and try my best to do it.