I warned you that it was coming!!! AT YOUR LEISURE:
Is there a passage you'd be willing to share (posted/WIP) where you honed your words until they were just right, and elaborate on why you settled for the words/sentences you chose in the end? Or just a bit you're very proud of because you consciously decided on something for a very specific effect?
You warned me and I still panicked because oh god what do I want to talk about--
Mirror passages. I quite like to reference previous fics when writing, and while it usually is more or less a sentence or two in passing, sometimes I consciously decide to re-use and alter a specific section, usually to contrast the new information with the old.
One such example is this passage in Linger:
Her mind doubts, dismisses, but her skin remembers. The soft touch of Ikrie’s fingertips at her temple, taking off the Focus as if she knew that as long as she wore it, they were never truly alone. Caresses exploring uncharted yet familiar paths, diligently mapping her scars, her stories. Fingers first, then lips: the one on her brow, token of the outcast. The one on her neck, token of the Seeker. Countless marks on her hands, tinker; her forearm, archer. Shoulders, back, chest, all cuts and claws and arrowheads: machine hunter, warrior. The one next to her navel, still fresh and angry and pink, where she caught shrapnel from a Bellowback’s exploding gullet as it charged her. Ikrie doesn’t know that one yet. She would hesitate and look up at her with questioning eyes, just a hint of worry in them, and the pad of her thumb would brush over it repeatedly as if she could smooth it out while Aloy tells the story. Friend. Talanah had dragged her to safety that day, nursed her through the fever, and while she had insisted there had been no need, Aloy knows it wouldn’t have healed half as well if she hadn’t. Ikrie would listen, quietly, and then she would lean in and kiss her, one of those lasting, heavy ones that leave her breathless and hungry, desperate for more.
Which I subsequently picked up again months later in Latency (if I was going to repeat myself as I realised while taking notes for this fic, I could just as well do it properly):
You know her shape as intimately as a painter knows their art. Your hands are the pigment-stained hunter braving the heights, she is the mark faded on the cliffs, and with each return, you retrace her lines. Fingers first, then lips; diligently, so that you won’t miss even the subtlest of changes: the remnants of the sun’s kiss on her arms; a faint smattering of freckles fading on her shoulders; the scars that pale, others that are added. All parts that make her, carved into her skin: on her brow, baffling compassion; her neck, perseverance. Countless marks on her hands and forearms, witnesses to her resourcefulness, curiosity and skill; chest and back praising unwavering courage against machine and man. The one next to her navel—
That one was new, and it made you pause. Look up at her, eyebrows raised, and she told you the story: a moment of recklessness, a Bellowback charging, safety reached only for the kindness and care of another. As you kissed her, soft at first, then deepening, losing yourself in her breath and taste and body, this piece, too, fell into place: the light she gives to the world and other people; that they give back. That you give back.
Both passages refer to the same event--intimacy upon reunion after a long absence--from a different POV; once in expectation, the second time in hindsight, confirming that the expectation was answered: at this point, they’ve been through this enough times to adhere to a pattern. More importantly, however, I used this section to contrast Aloy’s perception of self (Linger) with Ikrie’s perception of Aloy (Latency). Scars tell stories, and while I think Aloy would be fairly indifferent to hers in any other setting, in the context of showing and sharing them with a lover she would be painfully aware of them, and what they symbolise: roles assigned by the events that left them, marks of her inherent identity and instrumentality struggle. Note that “friend” is highlighted by being its own sentence following elaboration on what caused this particular scar--this “role”, just like the scar, is entirely new to her, begs her to grow as opposed to just being thrown into it, and different from the others in that it is not one of action and aggression, but care and compassion extended by and to others. For Ikrie, however, Aloy’s scars are inextricably a part of her, and she associates them with various traits she admires about her. They’re without fail positive: what Ikrie struggles with within their relationship at the time of Latency is Aloy’s absence, not her presence. She has not yet realised that togetherness is not the simple fix she imagines it to be, as their issues are rooted in their inability to communicate their wants and needs, which makes her prone to unquestioned idealisation. (Not that she’s not about to find out.) I went back and forth about the brow scar Bast’s rock left here because I struggled quite a bit to put a positive spin on it, but settled on “compassion” in the end because despite growing up as an outcast, shunned by society, Aloy’s bitterness and apprehension never targeted the people themselves, merely the rules they live by. Which is something Ikrie would be impressed by, but also could identify with. Anyway, I hope this makes even a modicum of sense, thanks so much for asking! Also, writing juice right back at you in an eternal uno reverse! [imagine some juice boxes here because Tumblr absolutely hates me accessing it via browser but I hate typing on the phone]
