#busdrivr

“I always hated baseball”

I took a bat to myself on purpose 

Cut myself on a couple shards

But it’s been fun tryna rearrange them parts 

If you can enjoy excruciation 

Figure out a way to love an exercise in patience

Find a new arrangement in the rubble

Find my beating heart 

Rebuild around it with all the broken pieces

All while it shivers without shelter

The maw below a menace

Snarling, snapping

Jagged teeth that want to rip the sutures 

Violence to the threads holding me together

With edged rusted in the malady

Blood-tar oozin’ out of the infection

And who even knows the source of the infirmity?

But even when it shakes, the heart still beats

It’s simple to run screaming, but I never liked the easy route

I am an amalgam of hands that hold me

That built me with their own blood

That built me with blood I drew

We stand knee deep in the wreckage

Bare feet, toes squelching in every feeling we want to run away from

Like fucked up fishermen trawling for the meaning of life 

Hopes pinned on shit thicker than the scum of Lake Erie

You can drown while dredging, so watch out

But every so often you catch a piece of enlightenment

And so our feet stay planted

A chain link fence doesn’t keep shit out

But it sure can hold us together

I am a masterpiece in process

A fuckin’ community art project

Figurin’ where to put the ugly parts

Knowing the sculpture’s not complete without em

Can’t use the old structure, it’s worn out brick and mortar

Gotta open my eyes open my mind 

Spread my toes, find my roots