#burntrock

The winter months have been long and cold, but at long last, WE RETURN. WE’RE BACK AND WE’RE BASIC, BETCHES. 

Although we contemplated tackling Mansfield, we decided going back to our roots with #turntrock would be a better way to start the season. (Let it be known, we did NOT get turnt this time... but never fear, there are still two more months of our hiking season.) 

Emma dubbed July “Dangerous Adventure Month”, also known as DAM, and kicked it off by falling at least four times. While we’ve chosen not to include pictures of her numerous bruises, please know that they are, indeed, present and accounted for.  

The day started off on a rather damp note; the river was too DAM (we’re milking this for all it’s worth) high to ford sans waders, so we were forced to deboot fewer than 20 feet past the trailhead. Erin was not surprised, as it’d been raining in Vermont since she returned from her shiny city life. Emma was too busy hiding in foreign countries to have a handle on the recent weather situation. NEVERTHELESS THEY PERSISTED. 

#didyoureallyfordthestreamifyoudidntvideoeverysecondofitalsowhyisthishashtagsoDAMlong

Here we are about halfway up the trail, soon after we realized that neither of us were as in shape as we were this time last year. Erin trudged on in silence, Emma raised her voice to the heavens. (Also her middle finger. Sorry kids.) It also should be noted that Erin was hiking in some VERY basic Nike (spons pls) running shoes, because she couldn’t fit her hiking boots in her suitcase when she moved back from NYC. (And yes, she did use them while she was in the city.) 

Eventually we reached the junction with the Long Trail, and we knew at last that we were home. 

And then, friends, it was time for breakfast. 

A year may have passed, but the scramble stayed the same. (So did Emma’s trash talk. As it turns out, the scramble did, indeed, have a lot of fun being married to SATAN.) 

Soon enough, we reached the infamous Yas Crevasse. We offered our yasses unto the forest, and then took 500 selfies. 

In case y’all didn’t know, Erin’s rap album’s gonna drop in 2018. This is the cover. 

Emma, on the other hand, deep-conditioned her hair last night and is super proud of it. Look at dem curls. #yas

As we approached the summit, we realized that we’d never ACTUALLY been all the way to the top of the mountain. So today, folks, we went all the way. OMG, can you believe it?! 

No? 

Fine, we have pics: 

While we didn’t crack open a cold one with the boys at the summit, we were rewarded with PB&Js and the #views. 

Erin, ever the good samaritan, wanted to give back with a view of her own!

You’re welcome, Vermont. #bralessandflawless

Aside from gallons and gallons of mud we had to hike through, the descent was fairly uneventful. Although we did come across a couple who definitely have their own blog, most likely called something along the lines of “Sexy Hikes.” Truly, the amount of makeup and hair product present (along with... a crop top?! Are you actually Taylor Swift?! I don’t think so) was so alarming we had to try not to let slip an outburst something along the lines of “enjoy the hour of straight-up torture!” Though difficult, we managed to keep our mouths shut. This time. 

And there you have it. Basic Hikes is back.

And you’ll be seeing a lot more of us. (Help, we’re unemployed.) 

Stay Sweaty,