#burningpapers

Burn... burn them, burn all of them! All the equations, all your hard work, all the papers. It’s not worth it, burn it all, BURN THEM ALL!

Burn them all... words that scared the shit out of me and woke me up from sleeping on my desk, words that I thought echoed throughout my entire laboratory. This giant box with walls of cold steel, filled to the brim with machines and white boards with equations and papers that kept giving me sleepless nights, all of my life’s work. Burn them all... that nightmare I just had hit different, it felt like as if I was convinced to give up all of this. Fucking stupid, I’ve come too far for this, creating the world’s first Tachyon Anti-Telephone. A device capable of sending a message to the past, thanks to the new technology that helped not only prove Tachyons exist, but also harvest them. With this I can probably tell my past self to relax and it’s all going to work out fine. I just need a week or so to finalize this and we are one step closer to actual time travel. This is actually crazy, especially knowing the fact that I've been at this for years, and now, I am so close... years, oh God, it’s been that long since I've talked to my parents, I should give them a call... maybe tomorrow, because right now, I need to keep making progress. Yes, my parents can wait, they’ve had their time with me, now is the time to just make change, for the world.

For this fucking cruel world... it’s been... ugh, like 5, 6 days since then? And just as I called my parent’s my sister picks it up and told me they’ve been dead for 3 days. Fucking 3 days, it’s been that long that I haven't noticed, what the hell have I become? Oh God, I really need to finish this telephone, maybe I can just contact them from the past... yeah, I can get to tell them I loved them, and that I was sorry that I couldn’t be there with them, just before that fucking thief broke into our home and killed them. I could warn them, save them... yes, I need to keep going, I need to finish this, for the people I love, for those I hold dear in my heart.

My heart, my love... fuck, I can’t get shit straight, it’s been 9 days, and just as my project is making more progress, my personal life kept on decaying. I didn’t know, I didn’t realize that it’s been months that I haven’t talked to my girlfriend. She’s been left behind, empty and unloved, the very woman that made me feel complete has been sitting there incomplete. God if I haven’t called now, I would have never known she’d been seeing someone, someone from the same fucking company I work for. The guy who’s been answering calls for me from outside the laboratory. Fucking MORON! I’m one of the world’s greatest minds and yet I can’t make a single call for anyone I cared about! Wait... a call, yes! Yes! that’s all I need! I just need to finish this... this, fucking monster, the very THING that caused all this. I will only finish building you to fix what you destroyed from me. I will not let you ruin my life.

Life... My sister’s life... She took her own life, she had no one, no parents, no brother. 18 days... It’s been 18 days since I’ve tried to reach the outside world and I heard nothing but death and betrayal. All because of you... This fucking machine, it ate all of my time and I've been letting it do so, now... I will make things right. 18 days ago, I need to tell myself 18 days ago to do what I have done today. I need to type out the date and time, before it’s too late... because the fire is spreading faster than I anticipated. Heat and sweat drenches my body as the fire roars around me but tears are the only thing I felt running down my face. I activated my phone and I heard myself 18 days in the past... snoring, I screamed my heart and soul out hearing my voice echo on the other side of the line telling myself to wake up, and listen to me carefully.