#burn the scripts

I've been thinking about how much of the things I say are scripted. I feel so fake and ingenuine. It's all tied to masking who I really am and my agonizing fear of saying the "wrong" thing.

It's trivial to me now because, a vague binary category of what's "wrong" and what's "right" to be saying, is not something anyone should conform to. It's imprisoning to conform to such norms.

I've pushed myself to speak when I feel non-verbal. It's painfully draining. I also don't say things I want to because I have these loaded responses for particular situations and those are not even close to what I really want to be saying.