The first time they share a bed, actually share, not collapsed after a feverish fucking or exhausted into nothingness after an endless battle, but a real get ready for sleep, bedtime routine and allāAnakin cannot stop moving.
Restless and uncomfortable, he is hyper aware of every dent in the mattress, every ruffle of the sheets. His mind is not numbed by an orgasm or a complete fatigue, instead it's left to boil with awareness, with unrest.
"Anakin." Obi-Wan sounds only a little annoyed. The man is exhausted, Anakin doesn't need their bond to hear that. He is tired and in need for sleep. "What is the matter?" he still finds it within himself to ask, sounding genuine enough, concerned enough.
"Nothā" Anakin begins, and thinks better of it when Obi-Wan's silhouette tenses up, a barely there shift in the shoulders. Tonight is not the night in which he wishes to test his Master's patience, not when they both are so clearly not up for bickering.
Anakin sighs, admitting, with no small amount of embarrassment in his hushed voice "āI usually sleep on the right sideā¦" It's close enough to the truth, he thinks, cheeks warming.
A moment of silence is broken by a muffled and genuinely amused snort. His Master doesn't even pretend it was a cough. He just laughs.
"Oh Anakin." Obi-Wan sighs once his shoulders stop shaking with his silent mirth, sounding painfully affectionate.
"Master! Youā" Anakin's protests are cut short by a pair of strong hands, maneuvering him easily to the right side of the bed. Anakin can practically feel the huff of laughter against his neck when he is drawn closer, back pressing snugly against Obi-Wan's chest.
"Better?" his Master purrs against his ear.
Yes. Yes, better.
"Thank you, Master."
The smile in his voice is so obvious, laid bare. He sounds like a besotted fool. With how easily a mere hug could easen all of his uncertainties, lighten all of his concernsā perhaps he is.
"Good." his Master takes it for the answer that it is, pressing his nose against Anakin's nape and exhaling a gentle: "Good night, Dear One".
The wrong side of the bed was the least of Anakin's worries and even that is forgotten in the sleep that soon follows. So easily. He smiles.
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I am a little obsessed with Dream being an "unwilling" but "helpless" "victim" of Hob's affections and love.
He's so guardless to it.
He always was to love.
That's why he keeps getting hurt.
It's a helpless sort of "Please don't hurt me" because he will give his heart away, again and again. And it'll be hurt, over and over.
And when Hob doesn't hurt him it's such an...overwhelming feeling of devotion. I'll end the world for you. I'll create a world for you. I'llā Hob stops him then, with a fond kiss and fonder warmth in his eye.
"Anyone ever told you," Hob starts, pulling Dream over "that you've got the flair for the theatrics?" there's laughing lines around his eyes but he doesn't laugh out loud.
Instead he leans and kisses Dream's cheek, then nuzzles just beneath his ear.
"I don't want you to pay for me loving you," there's a pause "You big, darling idiot" his hand sneaks around Dream's middle and pulls him into a hug, tight and firm. "I just love you, you'll have to accept that".
And Dream, Dream doesn't know what to do with that. He doesn't know what to do when nothing is needed, asked of him, demanded.
When someone actually returns his feelings tenderly and doesn't (yet) (there's always the fear of yet) rejects him and his affections.
"I." he begins, and stops. He doesn't have anything to say.
Dream has a hard time accepting all the succor he had received from Hob since his return in 2020.
ā¾ā¾ā¾
"Why?ā Dream asks.
āI knew you needed itā Hob smiles at himĀ āand I could give it, so whatās the harm in that?ā
Dream averts his eyes, pride and hurt fighting inside of him. He does not wish to be so, he wishes not to be depended on anyoneās pity, on anyoneās scrapes of empathyā but oh stars, how he does need it, how much the empty spaces of the fabric of his soul crave it, want it.
He cannot face this man, cannot look him in the eyes and let him know that he had won. Won where others did not. Many had gained his affections, some had gained his love, but Hob....Hob had won his trust. He had won his trust and he had won him over.
He has the power over him, one of the Endless.
Something that should not be, shouldn't have happened.
āMorpheus?ā Hob asks, a short silence, and closerĀ āDreamā he says, gentle, gentle as if talking to a wounded thing, a hurt thing.
Is there no end to this manās pity?Ā
Dreamās insides twists, for he knows that Hob is honest, and that Hob is true. He knows that he means it, means this care of his. Dream wonders if he should leave, if he was mistaken for questioning it. Perhaps he should accept it, allow his pride some rest. And yetā
āI love you.āĀ Hob says.
Dream looks up, sharp, alert.Ā
āWhat?ā he says, though he had heard him quite well.Ā
āI love you.ā Hob says with a shrug, kind eyes looking sadĀ āYou donāt need to think so hard about it, thereās nothing to it other than that, I love you, I love you and Iād do anything for youāĀ Hob finds his eyes, and smiles again, there's a deeply rooted fondness in that look.
For a moment, Dream's shadow distorts, the lights in the room flickering. He notices that as he notices the heat in his chest, at his neck, on his face. This body of his, this image he presents to the world, should not do things he does not choose to show.
Words that are his to command, that come so easily to him at most days, are lost to him now as he opens his mouth and no sound comes out in response to Hob's confession.
Love. He knows love. Bright and passionate, strong and wild, worlds consumed, galaxies worth of feelingsā love is not this, not the calm patience of a friend, not the endless devotion, not the...Ā soothing safety he feels in Hob's presence.
āYou confuse.ā Dream answers at last.
āNo I donātā Hobās light reply comes without a hint of argument.
āHob Gadling, youāā
āālove you?ā Hob completes, this time smiling.Ā
Annoyance ignites whitin Dream, the heat on his face deepening.Ā
āDo not mock me.ā he starts, voice raising a fraction, deepening a bit.Ā He will not allow this. He will not stand here as a mere human makes mockery ofā
āDream, I donāt.ā Hob reaches a handā hesitates only a secondā and takes a hold of Dreamās tense hand.Ā āItās okay if you donāt, I donāt expect you to, but this..ā he presses their joint hands across his own chest ā...is how I feel. Iād do crazier things for you than just care for you, " he stops as if he swallowed one last word, looking mildly bashful but with an unashamed smile on his lips. ātis just how it isā he says and squeezes Dreamās hand firmer against his chest.
Dream can feel the quick rhythm of his heart, can feel the roughness of his hand, can sense the human warmth of himā he can feel his love.
"I...understand." he says, and this is not true, he does not.
He does not understand this form of love. Does not know how to experience nor how to express it. Yet he finds himself wishing for it. Finds himself wanting not for the scorching heat of a dying star but for the soothing tranquility of a spring lake. Something calm, something without waves to drown him under. Something...safe.
Hi! What about "Can you stay with me?" (and if you'd like it my bonus prompt is "drunk") š
The initial draft was written while I was quite literally fainting late at night & the second one fully rewritten while I am dazed and out of it. I would say that I was method writing Obi-Wan who is indeed very much drunk in this one, dearest anon. Thank you for the prompt~ šš
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Obikin || 4,004w || Drunk Obi-Wan is agonized by the prospect of his freshly knighted Padawan leaving him behindā and more. š Some flavors of gentle lime in this drink, very light, very sweet. šš
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"Can you stay with me?"
Obi-Wan Kenobi sounds properly pathetic and he knows it. Grasping at Anakinās Tabards as he is, mind swirling in hazy circles around the notion he was doing his very best to avoid thinking about for the past few months. It is not long now that Anakin would look at his Master and see him for what he really was. Perhaps even today. Inebriated as he is, he makes for a good serving of disillusionment. All Anakin needs to do is look, and see, and thenā¦
It seems inevitableāhis Padawan will leave.
Former Padawan. Anakin is no longer his Padawan, and that is the heart of it, isnāt it? The severed braid was the firs step. Them having each a battalion of their own, stationed light years away from each other with only the occasional joint mission, a second. The third and final step would be for Anakin to finally open his eyes and look, and see.
It wonāt be hard to unveil the carefully crafted Jedi Master facade Obi-Wan had cultivated for the past decade. No, it wonāt be hard at all. If Anakin were to stop glorifying him, stop shaping him to be what ever form of idol he had needed for while growing up, if only he were to take an unbiased look at himā¦
There will no longer be, Kenobi and Skywalker.
For the naked truth was, Anakin had outgrown him, had become more powerful and capable than his Master. Thereās little left that Obi-Wan could still offer, still teach. He should be proud. The only one still refusing to see it, is Anakin himself. Once that revelation comes to pass however, it will be complete. A true break, as befitting the Jedi way. Obi-Wan finds no peace in the thought, no completion nor satisfaction in the successful completion of his Padawanās trainingāa symbol of his own Mastery.
Not when it means losing him. Not then.
Given his state of drunkenness, words slurred and feet unsteady, he thinks that itās worth putting to question whatever or not he was a good Jedi at all, least of all a Master. Try as he might, he finds it hard to ponder further. His choice to look inward is as always an avoidance, an escape. An easy detour from looking outward, from looking at Anakin. Anakin whoās eyes he can feel like a physical touch, boring into his very soul.
Obi-Wanās avoidance is nearly as strong as Anakinās natural magnetism. One is counseling him to avoid looking, save himself the pain of witnessing the exact moment in which the realization dawns upon the boy. The second, stronger still, demands his undivided attention on him, demands him to look. Demands him.Ā
Obi-Wan looks up, he meets those eyes, his demise.
Anakinās eyes widen and he blinks, endless blue clearing as if coming out of some sort of shock.
āCan Iāā Anakin splutters āāObi-Wan, even if the council explicitly ordered me to go save the entire karkin universe just now, I wouldnāt be leaving your sideā stars youāve any idea what you look like right now?
Obi-Wanās tongue is heavy but he parts his lips to answer, something clever to be sure, he always finds something to say.
āNo, never mind.ā Anakin cuts in before he could speak. Thereās such decisiveness in his tone, such confidence. His former Padawan stands tall, his arms are strong and sure as he handles Obi-Wan closer, making him lean more of his weight against his chest. Itās broad and firm. Obi-Wan should not be noticing those things, should not be aware of those things. It is a further evidence that his Padawan is well and truly grown. Further evidence of his own failing as a Jedi, as a Master, as aā¦man. Obi-Wan should not be inhaling and smelling home. Should not be leaning closer, itching all over for more, more.
āYouāre so wasted that I am surprised youāve even recognized me at all.ā Anakin continues talking, as if the universe is not shifting beneath Obi-Wanās feet as it is him who finally looks with his gaze unbiased. āThe drunken messages though, those you will be seeing tomorrowā thereās dark mirth in that dear voice. āI bet you wanted to send them toā someone else.ā Anakin glances at him, eyes narrowed.
Obi-Wanās offenses at Anakinās assumption he could ever not recognize him dies over under his gaze, dark and rich, his eyes are captivating. Before Anakin, he did not know that a blue can hold such multitudes. Both the clear morning sky, and the moon lit sky. Beautiful. They loosens his tongue as well as any truth serum would. That or the bottle he had finished on his own finally soaked through.
āI will alwaysāāĀ His voice comes out so thick that he coughs, starting Anakin from his dark contemplations, whichever those might be. His eyebrows furrow and he quickly snatches a cup of something clear off of a passing robo-waitressās tray. Irritated with the distraction, Obi-Wan accepts it and drinks if only to make way for the words to follow. He will not let it go. Not now that heād started. āI will always recognize you, Padawan Mine, drugged, beaten, or otherwise preoccupiedā I will alwaysāā
āDrugged?!ā Anakin cuts in again, arms tightening around Obi-Wan and strangling the annoyed huff at being cut again āYou did not mention anything about being drugged, what the karkā Obi-Wan?!ā
Obi-Wanās mouth is dry, similar to how being drugged would feel. His mind swims and all he sees is Anakin. Thereās warmth in his chest, thereās a burn in his gut, thereās a tug in hisāĀ
āItās hard to tellā he says sheepishly, embarrassed, eyes straying away from Anakinās strong jaw and up, up to the lights on the ceiling. He should not be thinking of how Anakinās proximity is enough to replicate a strong drug. How out of orbit he feels around him as of late. āThey all start the same, soā¦āĀ
Anakin is hardly listening. Instead he is surveying the club with a look of fury that is bordering on homicidal, freeing one hand to rest it on his lightsaber. Thereās the distinct feeling of Anakin stretching his force signature out, covering the room, no doubt attempting to locate anyone within their proximity who might have dared drug his former Master. Oh if only he knew that he was the culprit all along.Ā
Obi-Wan snorts, finding an odd sense of humor in it.
Anakinās gaze darts back to him, sharp and accusing. He looks so handsome under the colorful, dim lights. He looks soā¦Ā
āAh-nakin.ā Obi-Wan sighs out and shuts his eyes lest his spinning head forces him to sober up in the most un-jedi manner.Ā Ā
āStay with me,ā the request comes so easy, what was it that he was so afraid of? Itās so easy, too easy. Frighteningly so, to reach and touch Anakinās forearm. Thereās skin beneath his touch, warm and human, tense muscles beneath. āAhā Obi-Wan sighs out in realization. Anakin had rolled the sleeves, so very unofficial for a Jedi and yet so very Anakin of him.
Master Windu would have hated it. It wouldnāt surprise Obi-Wan if this was exact reason why Anakin did it to begin with, after all, he was most adept to handling heat and was not bothered by it even while all else were. Obi-Wan really should have reprimanded the boy more often, should have stopped Anakin from executing all those harmless little vendettas of his while growing up.
If only he did not find them to be so endearing, so amusing. If only he was a better Master, a proper Master. He would have.Ā
His brain is foggy and he had already forgotten what was it it that he had hoped to achieve by touching Anakin, only that his fingers are circling his wrist and touching the spot at which he can feel his life pulsing. What a terrible habit it is, being intoxicated while negotiating. You should only ever drink enough to appear drunk, never more. How is he to get what he wants, when he has no ideas what it was?Ā
Obi-Wanās eyelids are heavy when he tries to blink them open and focus on Anakin. Thereās the signature frown, so familiar Obi-Wan canāt help but smile. Anakin is chewing his lips, a compulsion he had never managed to rid himself of. He looks torn between the need to locate and deal with the āenemyā, andā¦. Obi-Wan.Ā
The way Anakin looks, that should not be reminiscent of the targets Obi-Wan opts for charm as the main form of negotiation with. Should not stir the excitement of a hunt, of a game to be won. Obi-Wan should not use his looks to achieve his goals, he should not use them to get what he wants, he should be a better man than that.
Obi-wan is not a better man.Ā
Licking his own dry lips, he letās go off of Anakinās wrist and reaches for Anakinās cheeks. Thereās a tremble in the touch, his, Anakinās? He is not certain.Ā
āDear One, you can chase your enemies tomorrow.ā He speaks in a hushed murmur, he hopes he sounds soft and alluring āTonight, will you guard this drunk Master of yours?ā he looks up, through his lashes, breathing shallowly, feeling hot, hot, hot all over.Ā
Anakin letās go off of the lightsaber. Itās an answer enough to what he had picked. It still is deeply gratifying to feel the boyās hand cover his own, guide it until he wraps his arm around Anakinās shoulders. Itās an awkward angle, with Anakin being taller than heā he cares very little for it when Anakin wraps an arm around his waist.Ā
āLetās go.ā He is tight lipped and determined, guiding Obi-Wan out and into a speeder that is parked not far off. If Obi-Wan was even slightly more aware, heād realize just how much attention the pair of them had draw, how all of the eyes had followed them out. Sometimes he forgets, how famous they had become during this accursed war. Sometimes, he is glad to not remember.Ā
Anakin is terribly efficient at getting them to the Temple. One blink of an eye theyāre flying through the busy highways of Coruscant, the next he is tossed unceremoniously onto a bed that feels and smells familiar. His bed.
Theyāre in his quarters. Their quarters until very recently. He is breathing harder and he does not dare to think of why. If he does not think, it does not exist. He is self aware enough only to feel how disheveled his robes feel on his body, how messy his hair is, how hot his skin feels all over. He is a mess.Ā
āDear one?ā he questions. He refuses to acknowledge how his own tone drops, refuses to admit he is rolling his vowels in a way he knows thickens his accent in the most attractive of ways. He doesnāt know why he is flirting with Anakin Skywalker when the boy is barely out of his knighthood and is Anakin. His Anakin, his Anakin on whom he just looked in a way he really should not be looking at, through his eyelashes, with a heavy, wanting gaze.Ā
The redness of Anakinās cheeks is evidence enough that he hears and understands the situation well enough. That he is very much aware of what his Master is doing. That he is⦠perhaps affected.Ā
Obi-Wan swallows, trying to push himself up to his elbows. He needs to sober up, he must tell him that he is merely jesting, that it is all a little tease, a little laugh, nothing more, justā¦.
Anakin cuts him to it. Before he can excuse, or joke, or explain.
āNot while youāre drunk.ā Anakin bites, sounding frustrated, lips swollen red from biting. Obi-Wan startles, surprised.Ā
What did Anakin just say? Imply?
Blatantly threw straight into his face, more like.Ā
Yes, but not while he is drunk.
Absurdly, a swell of pride fills his chest to the brim. Anakinās manners and chivalry surprises him, pleases him. He had raised him well after all, he did not fail him, at least not in this.
His pleasure must bleed into the Force as Anakin regards him with a dark, baffled look. Itās so dark, most would find it intimidating, but for Obi-Wan itās⦠dear. He can see the gentleness in that look, the care. Thereās warmth in the force when Anakin insist on tucking him in, fingers methodical in the short, careful gestures. Tucking him in as if he was a child. Him, his Master. Former.Ā
Obi-Wan was tucked in only once in his lifetime, at least as far as he can remember. His first night in the Jedi Temple. So tense he was, so out of his depth, that the he was taken pity of, tucked in with a quiet promise of everything making sense soon. It helped.
It had never happen again.Ā
āAhnakin.ā he tries to protest, tries to pull a face of offended indigence. Itās hard to do when he is practically shining within the force. A single look from his apprentice is enough to quiet him down.Ā
āMaster.ā Anakin replies, and thereās a little eyeroll there. His cheeks are still flushed but he seems as determined as Obi-Wan to not address the Bantha in the room. āYou really should be more carefulā he lectures him in a way Obi-Wan can distinctly remember doing a few years back, when Anakin had gotten drunk for the first time.Ā
He leaves then, without a word. Obi-Wanās throat closes and thereās a pang of pain in his heart. No this. He remembers now. Him. Leaving. That was the whole reason, that was whyā
āMaster?ā Anakin sounds concerned, a glass of water and a container of what looks to be painkillers in his hands. āAre you sick?ā a few strides and he is by Obi-Wanās bed again, placing he glass and container at the bedside table. He looks well and truly worried.Ā
Unthinking, Obi-Wan sits up. So sudden that he does feel sick from the motion. He ignores it. He reaches for Anakinās face with both hands, cupping his cheeks with a grip that is too strong, too desperate. A Jedi should not hold onto things with such fervor.Ā
All it takes for him to lean is to Anakin, is to stop resisting if only for a moment. Anakinās pull was always there, stronger and stronger until it had become a daily challenge to ignore it, to pretend he does not feel it. All it takes is to stop resisting and his lips find Anakinās, pressing against that plush softness, inhaling his exhale and finally, finally feeling anchored, inside the orbit he was always meant to circle.
He tilts his chin, leans in, knowing his beard will scratch pleasantly against the smooth jaw, kisses in deeperā
āMahsterā!ā Anakin gasps into the kiss, a pang of shock and uncertainty clouding the force around them, sipping through the open nerves of their broken bond.Ā He does not want to take advantage of his Master, does not want him to end up hating him, does not want him to wake up and be disgusted, appalledā but he wants, he wants so badly.Ā
āOh, Anakin.ā Obi-Wan breathes out, unsure if itās endearment of relief that fills him up with warmth, with lightness. One thing he is certain of, no one had ever been, or will be, as sweet, as kind, as dear as Anakin is to him. āI could never hate him.ā Thereās a drunken lisp to his voice, he needs a moment to correct himself. āYou.ā He manages, meeting Anakinās eyes and not blinking, not wanting to miss a single moment. Wanting to see the exact moment in which Anakin realizes he is serious, that he is the most honest heās been in years.Ā
Anakin seems to be realizing it too, his eyes widening and cheeks coloring a deeper red than before, he bites his lip.
āI might beā¦ā Obi-Wanās gaze drops to Anakinās lips and he thinks about⦠āintoxicatedā¦ā he forces himself to look up, away from temptation, away from sin. āDrugged, possibly.ā He is still not fully certain if he is, or it truly is just Anakin with a touch of alcohol. āBut I am very much aware thatā¦ā he smiles before completing the sentence, it widens so much further with the words to come āā¦my Padawan simply cannot take advantage of his Masterā¦ā thereās really no need to be using this many terms of belonging, especially when they are outdated and irrelevant, but he just cannot⦠āOn the contrary, I am the one who should be deeply ashamed forā¦mnnn-āĀ
Anakinās lips quiet him up, he was never a patient listener, never could hear his Master finish a thought. This is the most effective he had ever been at cutting Obi-Wanās line of thought, by far. He kisses him in a way Obi-Wan would have never guessed him capable ofā itās soft, sweet, patient. A tender thing, careful, loving. Obi-Wan gasps. Thinking, dazedly of how Anakin will grow to be an amazing lover, so attentive, a beast holding back his fangs in favor of gentle lipsā¦Ā
The thought sets a burning coil of arousal deep in Obi-Wanās gut.
Not good. Beyond not good. He shouldā¦.Ā
The thought is present and yet he licks at Anakinās lips, asking for permission. He is granted one without resistance, without hesitance. Anakinās lips part and he can taste him and oh, oh. Obi-Wan groans, muscles tensing as he shifts to sit straighter, moving a hand to Anakinās nape and pulling him closer.
He nearly chokes when the boy sucks on his tongue, arousal shocking him into near soberness.Ā
āAnakinā¦ā he knows, thereās not enough alcohol in the universe to convince him that this is not going too far, he knows and yetā¦Ā
He kisses Anakin again, a little hungrier, a little more wanting.
He must stop this madness. To think that he had started it, to think that he had taken advantage of his trusting, sweetā
āNo, Master.ā Anakin answers, and Obi-Wan wonders just how much of his shields is truly left if his thoughts can be read so easily, so plainly. āYouāve asked me to stay, and I will stay.ā That assuredness is back, firm and leaving no space for argument. This is the same man who leads men on a battlefield, who commands, who leads. Obi-Wan finds it impossibly, undeniably, devastatingly attractive.
āYou will sleep.ā Anakin decides then, tearing his eyes away from Obi-Wan long enough to gesture at the lights, turning them off with the force. āAnd I will stay with you.ā His eyes land back to Obi-Wan, dark mirth dancing in what Obi-Wan can still see of him. āTo keep you safe, Master.ā He is teasing him, the little devil.
āHow will it evenā¦ā Obi-Wan doesnāt want to mention how narrow the bed really is, Anakin would know, with his constant complaints about how leg room andā¦Ā
āDonāt worry about that.ā Anakin answers, confidence so cocky, so boyish that Obi-Wan huffs a surprised laughter, breaking into giggling when Anakin practically falls on top of him. They struggle like that, laughter mixing, limbs tangling, hair in a mouth and fingers against sidesā Anakin captures him then, theyāre on their sides, Anakinās back is firm as he pulls Obi-Wan all the way to himself, formingā¦.
āAbsolutely not!ā Obi-Wanās voice raises and breaks a little, attempting to wriggle out of the trap he inadvertently fell into. Thereās still some pride life in him. He will not permit this Jedi Knight, his former Padawan no less, big spoon him, 16 years his senior and former Master. Force be his witness, he will not allow it.
Anakin makes a suffering, exasperated exhale when Obi-Wan manages to slip out of his gripā only to be yanked back by the force. All he manages is a choked gasp of protest before the air is knocked out of him, his back hitting a firm chest a little too hard. Thereās a vindictive sort of satisfaction in hearing Anakin chokes out a surprised exhale too, clearly, he did not account for the impact being this strong.
āKarkinā hellā¦ā he hears the boy muttering and snorts out, laughing even while Anakin wraps his mechno-arm around him, pulling him back into the not-as-offensive as before little spoon position. Fine, he thinks. Heāll allow it, just for this one nightā¦.Ā
His eyes close and he shudders when Anakinās nose press against his nape, he can feel the slow, deep inhaleā can feel the content exhale that follows.Ā
āFinally.ā Anakin breathes out, as if he was waiting for this moment longer than the few minutesĀ just now. Like he needed it, himself. Like it was not Obi-Wan, pathetic and alone, messaging his former Padawan while drunk beyond reason that led him here, but his own needs, own wants. Like he needed this too, him. Like he needs him. Obi-Wan.Ā
āOh Forceā¦ā Obi-Wan calls upon it without realizing, without meaning it. Only the force can stand witness to this moment, judge it, measure it. Guide him, tell him right from wrong. āForce.ā His voice trembles with it, realizing for the first time that Anakin does see him, in truth, does and stillā¦
āItās fine with it.ā Anakin remarks, nonchalant, amusement coloring the timbre of his voice. āYou donāt have to shout at her, I donāt think she like it very muchā Anakin refers to the Force differently every time, Obi-Wan suspects he does it simply for the joy of throwing off the younglings.
It unsettles Obi-Wan as well, he will not admit that much, though. Anakinās connection with the force was always stronger, always different than anyone elseās. If heās saying that the Force is not finding this offensiveā¦. Obi-Wan will trust him. Anakin enjoys messing around at times, stretching the truth about how the Force works, but heād never lie about this, not to him.Ā
Obi-Wanās body relaxes so completely that he practically sags into Anakin, relief, so much relief. It feelsā¦. Good. Thereās rightness to it that even without the Force humming pleasantly in his ears, heād recognize. Like sharing a sleeping cot in the war zones, minus the blood and gore and pain⦠it feels secure, it feelsā¦goodā¦.Ā
He feels himself being lulled to what he suspects will be a long and restful sleep. Such a luxury as of late. āMnh..ā He jolts a little when a hand moves across his side, resting at his hip bone and then back up to his side. He should not permit Anakin this much leeway with him and yetā¦. He likes it⦠oh he likes it.
So he doesnāt comment it, allowing him to continue, to stroke him and care for him, and hold him. He is not leaving.Ā
Sleep comes ease, as easy as an inhale. One moment he is aware of all that surrounds him, the scent and warmth, the weight and touch. The next he is sinking into the open embrace of rest. Distantly, he feels the touch of a Force Signature he knows as well as his own. It is the only half of it, after all. Accepting it, is as easy as breathing too.Ā
Thereās a distant shift, even in sleep he can feel the bond snapping back into place, like moons falling into a familiar route, circling a singular sun. Maybe it was not Anakin who was the sun around which Obi-wan was revolving all along, but their sharedā¦.
If you're interested, here's a prompt from the ones who just shared:
"Then why did you do it?" "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!"
No rush hehe I hope you get rest and have fun writing this!
Now, see, I could have taken this as an open prompt and went with something else, but I know you like dreamling and so I was good.
Thanks for the prompt dear! š Also special thanks goes to @cuubism for actually going through it š»š»š» any mistakes are me ignoring her wisdom or straight up forgetting to edit it. one of the two.
Dreamling - some flavor of hurt/comfort(?) 'you dare?' kind of situation going on there, 1,394w
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āI cannot fathom whyāāĀ
Dream halts mid-sentence, his outrage rendering him speechless for a precious moment in which Hob tries, fruitlessly, to come up with a way to placate him, to explain in a way that will somehow pass as acceptable to Dream. The betrayal is tangible in the air, so charged that Hobās hair actually stands on end as if from static. It feels like standing at your front door, still safe but seeing the hurricane on the horizon, knowing that this false safety can and will change in moments. Hob cannot think of a single thing.Ā
āYou.ā Dream grits his teeth so tightly that they scrape loudly, the sound of it making Hobās own teeth ache uncomfortably. āKnow.ā Dream says each word as if it takes a great burden to even use human speech and not simply burn a hole in Hobās mind. Given Dreamās past record, which Hob had recently learnt of, perhaps it does. āYou know I do not ask.ā
āI know.ā Hob winces.
Thereās no denying that he knew. Knew full well that asking Dreamās sibling for help was a guaranteed way to not only outrage him, but also land Hob a very creative punishment and the end of their long friendship.
He knew that, and did it anyway.Ā
Would again, if he had to.
He will not apologize for that.
Dream seems to come to the same conclusion, cheeks reddening in a surprising display of humanity, of lack of control over his appearance. The darkness that creeps into his eyes is distinctly not human. Hob shudders but fixes his eyes on Dreamās, refusing to avert his eyes like a reprimanded youth. He did what he did, and heās not sorry.
''Then.ā To Hobās surprise, Dream seems to level himself, to school the darkness out of his eyes and ask with a calm that is somehow more unnerving than his rage. āWhy did you do it?" There is a finality to this question, like a judge asking for one last confession to tip the scale one way or another. There will be judgment at the end of it, Hob knows.Ā
āBecauseā¦ā he sucks in a breath, thereās a ball of nerves in his stomach and frustration, surprising him with its intensity, it feels almost like anger.
Why is he here, searching for excuses for something he believes in wholeheartedly? He doesnāt want to learn firsthand of Dreamās notorious pettiness but heās not here to play these sort of games.Ā
The outraged huff is stuck in his throatā he didnāt even realize he had raised his voice this much, not until the ring of it strains his ears. He is practically shouting. And he doesnāt care.Ā
Ā ''BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.''
Thereās anger in it, frustration, a measure of desperation.
āI bloody love you more than I fear you, thatās why.ā His own cheeks burn, itch, tingle with the indignation of it all. āBecause Iām a besotted fool who would make a pact with the devil if I had to, if it meant helping you.ā He gestures curtly at Dream, then spreads his arm in an exaggerated motion of question. āWhy else? Seriously, why else?!ā He stops at that, breathing harshly. This is not how he had imagined, not even close. Fuck it. And fuck Lucifer, too. And Dreamās all too pleased sibling, on top.
Through his outburst Hob had stopped paying attention to Dreamās face, only his eyes, latching onto them as if they were his anchor in this universe, the only constant thing, in life, in this.
When he finally looks, really looks, he realizes with a start that Dreamās cheeks are no longer red with anger, that his eyebrows are not as tightly knitted, that his pale lips form a small and lax āoā.Ā
His friend looks taken aback, pacified andā¦surprised.
Like he couldnāt fathom this being the reason for Hobās supposed betrayal of trust. Like this was the last rationale he had expected to hear, like he, an Endless being of incomprehensible wisdom, is unable to conceive this simple truth. Like heās at a loss now.
Like heās a bloody idiot. Hob shakes his head in amazement, his own anger evaporating as quickly as it came. Yet again he wonders how it is possible to be all knowing and yet so blind, so oblivious to such a simple truth, one Hob didnāt even try too hard to hide, really.
āI know you didnāt want me to,ā he softens his voice, speaking more quietly ābut I really didnāt have a choice. If I could do this on my own, you know I would have, Iād do worse for you.ā He smiles at Dream, he doesnāt even try to sound self-deprecating, itās the honest truth. He would.
His hand drops by his side and he awaits then, for his judgment.
āYou love, me?ā
Hob doesn't know how to respond to such a simple question other thanā
āI do.ā
Thereās nothing else to add to that, he said it all, he did it all, even Dream must understand this is no passing fancy. One does not risk their immortal soul for something insignificant. Especially not Hob. One does it when it means everything. And in this case, it did. Dream did.Ā
Dream seems to again, come to the same conclusion.Ā
He wilts, shoulders sagging. He looks both much older and much younger at the same time, like this knowledge has stricken him, hurt him.
āYou shouldnātā is all he says.Ā
āBut I do.ā Hob answers in return.Ā
āI see that.ā Dreamās voice is a whisper carried by the breeze, gentle, endless, aching. He looks torn in that moment, the judge whose scales no longer measure in any understandable manner. He casts his gaze down.Ā
āJust let me,ā Hob says. He did not come here demanding boons, nor love, only to help Dream. āForgive my impudent human inclinations to save what I love, and let us continue as we were. Friends. ā
āFriendsā¦ā Dream repeats after him, as if in disbelief.
Dream opens his mouth to say moreāto accept or refuse, Hob doesnāt knowābut in that exact moment Matthew half-crashes, half-lands on Dreamās shoulder, a flutter of black feathers and barely muffled curses.
āBoss! Oh for fuckās sakeā I mean crackerās sakeā I mean what the hellā I mean youāre fineāyouāre actually okay, I was sure that this time youāre like legitāā he notices Hob then, and cawing loudly he curses again āYou actually did it you son of a bitchā you really did!ā His wings open excitedly, brushing against Dreamās face, covering it up.
āMatthew.āĀ
āUh-ā Matthew folds his wings immediately.Ā
Hob looks at Dream then, the moment is decidedly broken but he has to know if heād see him again, he canāt just go on not knowing, itāll drive him insane. āDreamāā he starts, but Dream speaks over him.
āWe will discuss thisāā Dreamās lips tighten, eyes flicking to Matthew and then back at Hob. āAt a later time.ā He concludes rather curtly, seemingly deciding that addressing exactly what they will be discussing is not something he wants his Raven to be privy to.
āRightā¦ā Hob murmurs, not speaking further of the topic either. Itās one thing to break Dreamās boundaries over life and death, another entirely over his own impatience and need to know. Dream wanting to see him again at all is already a damn good sign, and Hob will take it, gladly.
āIāll see you later then, Dreamā He uses the name even while not being sure he is still permitted to, that he did not lose the privilege. Dream tilts his head but doesnāt object, instead he nods once and disappears in a swirl of golden sand.
āShow offā¦ā Hob murmurs into the empty air, shaking his head in disbelief. Thereās a good feeling in his gut, he should probably be worried but he has a feeling that things will work out, that it all will be just fine. He canāt explain it, but he has learnt to trust his gut over the years. After all, it once led him to believe that he would never die.
It was right then, and itāll be right now too. He and Dream will figure it out and will be better for it. Just like the other time, just like always.Ā
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Thank you š„° Now imagine if Anakin fell a few years earlier than in canon, still has his limbs and pretty hair, and is currently serving Darth Sidious while fighting on the Separatist side. Something like that š 1,137w - vaderwan
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āQuit struggling, you will only make it worse.ā
Vader bares his teeth and snarls. He snarls like an animal, like heās a Tusken Raider and itās the only way he knows how to communicate in. The thought fills him with an even deeper rage, makes his stomach turn in fury and sickness. He is better than that, he is better than them. He is Lord Vader, not some animal to growl and barkā he does not give a kark.Ā
He spits at Kenobiās feet and glares up with as much hatred as his eyes would permit without burning white blind from it.Ā
āKriff yourself.ā Vader grits out when all he receives for his efforts is an infuriatingly smug smirk. (itās sad, itās sad, itās sad)(he ignores it).
āI think I shall pass.ā Kenobi says in that sarcastic manner of his that he reserves for Darksiders only. It should not sting Vader as it does, to be spoken to as if he was one of many.
He should be more than that, he is more than that. Heād make him, heādā
āPlease do stop thinking so loudly, you are ruining an otherwise lovely force weather.ā Kenobi cuts this line of thought with some sort of Bantha Poodoo that wouldnāt make sense even on the best of days, least of all when he is busy tying Vader up like he was a Life Dayās gift.Ā
āForce Weather? Have you lost it entirely old mā argh-ā Vader sucks in a breath when he feels the durasteel wire cut deep within his skin, so tight he can feel the instant numbing, indicating that the blood had effectively stopped flowing into that limb.
Concern spikes within Vader, he already has one prosthetic, and he is not very fond of the idea of more, Obi-Wan wouldnātā¦. Would heā¦.?Ā
There is a moment in which he thinks that he would. Thinks that Kenobi had lost any sentiment toward his old apprentice, even the guilt that had kept him from killing him in all the previous times he had managed to get the upper hand. (Through luck)(Itās luck, nothing else.)
Losing a limb due to Kenobiās poor tying techniques would not be technically Kenobi deciding on killing him butā āNgh.ā He hisses out, teeth scraping together as Kenobi lessens the punishing grip of the wire.
ReliefĀ flood Vader, scorching in its intensity.
āA little too tight there.ā Obi-Wan chirps, all amusement and good nature. (He sounds old.)(He sounds broken.) āApologies, Sweet.ā he says with his characteristic charm, his typical ease. (He sounds as if heād like to retch.)(he sounds sick.)
Vader hates it. Hates. Hates. Hates. He wants the anger, the hurt, the words of disappointment and fury and passion. (Love, love, of love.) He wants Kenobi to be honest, to be direct, to be him. The him that only he knows, that only he saw. He wants Kenobi to, (his chest fills and hurts, his lungs collapse with an inhale he doesnāt manage to keep, his eyes close and he cannot, he cannot lieā) care. Care, he wants him to karkin care. Even a little, even sometimes. Care enough to hurt, care enough to scream, care enough to hurt him.Ā
āUp and about now.ā Obi-Wan says and hauls Vader to his feet. Even in this Kenobi is careful to not hurt him unnecessarily. Do not hurt prisoners, a Jedi would say. The Codes. Itās all he sees in him. The Codes he must follow in order to fulfill his duties. No, no. No, no and no.
Anakinā Vader is more, he is more, he was, he is more.Ā
Twisting about to face Kenobi without being stopped is hard enough, his balance off with the way his arms are bound painfully behind his back. He manages it. Heās quick enough, skilled enoughā determined enough.
Without a single thought, without a moment of consideration, Vaderās eyes lock onto his target. The neck.
Itās exposed just enough, with the layers of robes covering the curve of it an the beard reaching just the top of it, thereās just enough space.
Vader strikes as he always does, without warning, without hesitation. One moment he is standing there, wide eyes alight with orange-yellow, the next his lips are closing around soft flesh, teeth sinking.
Itās all over in but moments, and yet the way Obi-Wan groans, the way his throat tenses and he swallows, the way he shudders when he pushes Vader off hard enough to make him stumble and fall back onto the groundā the way thereās blood on that neck, on Vaderās tongueā itās all worth it.
Vader will do it again, no matter the consequences, no matter how it might look to someone who didnāt understand.Ā
He will make absolute sure that Kenobi never forgets, never.
Vader makes a point of licking at his lips as he smirks at Kenobi, tilting his head from side to side in a way he saw his Master do while in a good mood and flirting. On him it looks mocking and he knows it.
He takes pleasure in Kenobi having no smart retort to it, no easygoing banter to masquerade with. Vader got him, he had won.Ā
He is almost angry when the sound of engines breaks through, hundreds of them, all belonging to Sidious. Or the Separatists, as the Republic still foolishly believes. He will never know what words had died on Kenobiās tongue as he looked up and then down at Vader, calculating his chances of outrunning a fleet of battle ships while carrying an unwilling Sith on his back.Ā
āNot in your favor, huh?ā Vader asks, laughing, not even bothering to get up, instead he just flops to lie on his back. It pains his arms terribly, but he does not care. He looks at the sky as if it was a starry sky youād gaze upon, wish upon.
āRun now, Kenobi. Youāre so good at it, after all.ā He does not look at him, does not want to see that back turned on him. (Again. Again. Again that.)
The silence from Kenobiās side is a heavy one, a painful one. Then he forces out amusedly (Chokes on it.) āWeāll have to rain check our little date, my Dear.ā (He does actually choke on it.) (Vader hears, he always does.)
āSo long.ā The man who raised him cheers, all good spirits and not a care in the world. Then thereās the sound of Obi-Wanās light feet as he force-runs towards his own ship. Leaves him.Ā
Anakin closes his eyes and all the world falls down.Ā
Thereās only the sound of shooting and the flavor of Obi-Wanās life on his tongue. For now, itāll do. For now, itās enough. (It is not.)(It never is.)
I mean, I can't NOT prompt "Emotions are a luxury I don't have time for." with Dreamling š
š¤ five-and-dimes
OKAY ADMITTEDLY it does fit Dreamling very well doesn't itā? I was going to give half an hour per piece and accidently digressed way too much with this one..... whoops...? Thank you for the prompt dear š„°š
Dreamling || 1,174w || lowkey hurt/comfort but with ~hope
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āDonāt you feel anythiā fuck.ā Hob stops, forcing the words back down with a thick swallow. He cannot afford himself to speak in anger, no matter how badly it burns in his veins, no matter how scourged by Dreamās aloofness he is. It doesnāt matter that he should have the right for anger. Dream is simply not a being you could, or should, be angry with if you hope to keep him in your life.
Angry or not, justified or not. Hob wants him in his life, very much.
āDream, listen.ā Hob starts, running a hand over his own face, nails scratching uncomfortably over the side of his cheek. āI get it, okay.ā He really doesnāt but this is not the point ābut seriously, you do have feelings, I know that you haveā¦ā his voice wavers and he gestures at the space between them, unable to voice it lest Dream would flee again. āPlease.ā his voice strains with the burden of it all. Wanting so much, needing so muchābeing forbidden from even voicing it, let alone having it.
"Emotions are a luxury I don't have time for.ā Dreamās voice is deep, booming, as aloof as it could possibly get. He sounds like heās reading a ready-made script, like heās following the lines long since prepared.
Hob recoils, physically takes a step back, wants a distance between himself and Dreamās rejection. He should have expected it, in fact, he assumed he might get worse and yetā āBulshit.ā The short silence that follows is pregnant with tension, both momentarily silenced by Hobās boldness. Hob is as surprised by it as Dream, apparently is.
Dream comes around first, eyebrows knotting, storms cracking in the depths of his eyes. His lips thin, the corners tug down and then he opens his mouth to deliver what Hob is sure would be either a really bad reprimand or his final words to him.
He cannot have it. If only for the simple fact that he doesnāt only want Dream in his life, but factually needs him. He doesnāt know whatās life would be worth without knowing that in the end of every story there will be Dream to share it with, a confidant, a keeper of his journey.
āI think that youāre afraidāā the words rush out without a thought, he steps forward, hurrying to finish before this would blow out of proportion āābecause I know that I am petrified.ā The words burn true on his tongue, thereās a dull ache in his chest, his lungs feel too full and empty of air. āI am horrified that you might leave, I am terrified that you might not loā accept this, I amā¦ā he swallows, his throat is closing with the emotion of it all. He cannot stop, not now that he had finally started. āI get it Dream, I know that you are, that we are⦠different butā¦. ā His hand falls by his side, no amount of gesturing would express what he feels.
He runs out of words. He was so certain he had them all when this conversation started, now he can hardly even remember what brought it about. He didnāt prepare for it as well as he thought, he doesnāt know how to word it, how to phrase it in a way that would convince Dream to give this, them, a chance. Damn.
His chin drops and he stares at the ground, burning disappointment makes his hand tremor. He closes his fist.
He is no poet, no storyteller, no writer. He is no Dream to pick and choose the right words. Heās only a man. Only a man who loves a being beyond his comprehension, very, very much.
Fuck, fuck it all. Fuck. He is about to lose him, isnāt he?
The pain in his gut is a twisting thing, like a knife slicing through the guts. Shitty death, heād know. He dares to glance up when Dream doesnāt speak, half expecting to see him gone. Instead, thereās something softer in Dreamās eyes when he meets them. For the first time, Hobās attention is drawn to the unnatural void in those eyes, the glint of distant stats. This isā¦
āAm Iā¦ā his mind struggles through the spell of dizziness, his consciousness readjusting its grasp of the surroundings. The shadows are longer, the shapes are bent a little too far, the colors are not quite right.
āI am dreaming.ā He understands when he finally sees the landscape for what it is, Dream, for who he is. āOh shit.ā His cheeks color red, he is aware of the incredibly uncomfortable material of the shirt he used to wear some few hundreds years ago.
āI yanked you into my dream, havenāt I.ā This is, even more than before, not how he had hoped to confess. Not even close.
āHob,ā Dreamās voice bleeds to every fiber of the dream-scape, infusing it with power, making it feel tangible, more clear, in focus. āYou dream very loudly.ā Thereās an odd note to his voice, if Hob was to attempt and pinpoint it, heād have to admit it sounds like astonishment.
āSorry,ā he answers, abashed. āI, uh, suppose you canāt justā¦ā he gestures at his own head with a motion that resembles wiping chalk off of a board. āMaybeā¦?ā he adds, hopefully.
He doesnāt regrets his feelings. He would, though, like to at least be awake when Dream rejects him, It feels only proper.
The idea of simply not raising it up at all is one that had crossed his mind frequently, and yet he knows that sooner or later heād slip again, that he wouldnāt be able to to continue pretending like this isnāt an integral part of who he is, like this isnāt something that he feels.
Sooner or later, heād tell Dream of The Endless that he is helplessly, hopelessly, truly and deeplyā in lovā¦
A finger again his lips distracts him from his thoughts. āVery loudly.ā Dream scolds quietly, wistfully. He sighs then, the weight of it almost buckles Hobās knees. Dream seems to ready himself, like he is expecting a great deal of suffering and is braving himself for it. He looks exhausted. Worn down. Won over.
Hob immediately dislikes that look, it speaks too much of Dreamās past. Too much of what had made Dream as closed off as he is. Too much of what hurt him so badly. Hob wants him to beā¦
āVery well, Hob Gadling.ā Dreamās words distract Hob from his thoughts again āWe shall speak of it further in the waking world, according to your wishes.ā Dream looks away into the distance, his finger lingering on Hobās lower lip, itās cool. āI must go now, so long.ā
He does not sat farewell. Hobās mind centers around it. Between one eye blink and another, Dream is gone, golden sand scattering behind.
āWhatā¦?ā Hobās mind is already fuzzing into an incoherent haze of shapes and shadows, only distantly concerned with what just transpired.
Only vaguely he wonders if he should feel loss, orā¦not?
Hello anon-dear, thank you for being the first one to check-in! And look, I did not cheat, I made sure to answer it first! š
Dremling || 251w of fluff
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''Oh. Oh.''
Hob is breathless. Thereās a million stars in the sky, more than should be possible, more than he thinks could exist. His mind strain to comprehend the vastness of it all, the beautiful intricate constellations that tug at something in his core, reminds him of his childhood, of times when the stars were both closer and further away.
āDream.ā Hob croaks out, unable to look away even if to look at the Endless wonder by his side, to look into his eyes, another pair of stars. āThis isā¦ā he shakes his head, incapable of transferring the feeling into words, incapable of describing that which should not be described.
He takes Dreamās hand into his, staring up, unblinking.
āThank you.ā He says, softly, hoping that Dream might know even a fraction of his appreciation, for being here, for being shown this. For being granted the honor of seeing a part of Dream, even if only a small one, one that a human like himself would be able to withstand. āThank youā¦ā he echoes, mind wandering and following the myriad of colors above him, the divine halos of distant dreams being dreamed all across space and time.
Dreamās only response is a deep hum. It vibrates through the night cool air, warming Hobās insides. If this is what happiness is like, then Hob is drunk on it, never been more so in his entire, long life. He drops back onto the softness of the grass, watching Dreamās soul morphing above them.