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the last time i visited home me and my brother went to have dinner with our grandmother and she kept asking him if he wants seconds over and over. and it was weird to me. i thought she was messing with him and told her to stop teasing him. but she seemed really confused at my statement. so i just left it alone
when we were alone my brother told me she's just forgetting things now, and that mom said it's better if we just go along with it and we dont confuse her further.
and i realized she's just giving early signs of dementia and i just have to live with that now. and there's nothing to be done. and i remembered all the times she asked if i can come over and i was busy working. and how now her hands dont move sometimes even when she's trying to move them. and how the meds are too expensive for her now. and no one told me that watching a bad relative wither away is still heartbreaking
it's so strange how everything changes once you leave.
I never left my hometown nor did I ever want to leave but it's the size of 3-4 regular hometowns so in a way when I moved 2 hours away I left everything I knew behind. Like. There's different architecture here. The roads are different. I never bump into old classmates or my family here.
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theotown is such a crazy lil game i can do worldbuilding (literally) for my little fictional universes. huzzah
started working with a new therapist bc i couldn't afford to pay my previous therapist's sessions anymore. she told me to start writing down my dreams and got really excited talking about it because i do have many interesting dreams i told her about some of them.
ever since that session i haven't been able to remember a single dream longer than a few groggy seconds after waking up. sucks but true