Part 11: Mr. Win Max and Mr. Poly
Once I had reached the stage where I actually had to stain and finish the guitar, finish meaning not only “to complete” but also literally meaning “to apply a coat of finish,” I realized how out my element I was. The idea of using modern science and chemistry to create an appealing color on my guitar, as well as to protect it from the elements using a substance called “polyurethane” made me question whether or not my twelve years of supposed schooling actually helped prepare me for the “real world” and, as a result I began to feel largely out of my league. Simply the name “polyurethane” was enough to strike fear into my heart and at the same time make me feel powerful. Not powerful in the sense that I had a lot of power, but in the sense that I would have to adopt a lot more responsibility. I imagined that if I were to hypothetically spill Mr. “Fast-Drying Poly” on someone or something that it would be irrevocably damaged or crystalized in a glossy, candy-like coat. After all, he had an intimidating name and as all intimidating people went, you treated them with respect. Fortunately, it mattered very little whether or not I gave the all-powerful oil solution too much respect, as it did me no harm to be conservative when applying it. In the end, my fear over something so simple seemed baseless and silly, but it wouldn’t matter as I had not the knowledge to know whether or not I did it wrong anyways.
If we’re going to be chronological, I’d like to mention that the actual color stain, named “Winmax“ with the title and profession of “Traditional Cherry Stain,” came first. I felt less threatened by Mr. Winmax and was more relaxed around him because it didn’t matter so much how much stain I applied, or was supposed to apply, as it didn’t matter to me what color it turned out so long as it wasn’t disastrously ugly. That being said, the most difficult obstacle I had when staining were from trying to keep the pickups from falling out of their slots and potentially ruining my so far perfectly undamaged coats of stain. On occasion, I found myself accidentally applying stain to the top of the guitar first, which would force me to wait for the stain to dry before taping down the pickups again to work on the bottom and sides. It didn’t seem worth the risk to tape the pickups down only to find later that outlines of the tape formed while the coat of paint was drying. All was well and no sooner did I begin that I realized I had looped through Marina & The Diamonds’ Electra Heart three times, undoubtedly establishing it as my go-to “doing mindless work” music.
Once again, perhaps there was a valuable lesson to be learned in all my work. Perhaps if I had been more daring with the polyurethane, I would’ve been able to achieve a more glossy finish. And perhaps if I had given more attention to the well-established mantra of both Shia Labeouf and Nike, “just do it,” I would’ve spent less time and achieved mediocre, if not adequate or decent results, a situation which most others would value more for its “efficiency.” However, I was very glad to have done more boring research and looked at multiple sources just to at least help myself believe that I was making a more educated guess on how the process worked, even if in the end, I did not know what I was actually supposed to do or how any of it worked. Next time, perhaps I’ll have taken a Woodworking 101 when I encounter such a problem.









