#bugborgweek2019

“May I?”

Mantis holds her hand up, palm out, and Nebula eyes her warily.

They’re standing a few feet apart, and although her posture is relaxed, Mantis holds her arm close to her body and hopes the distance will bring some comfort to Nebula.

Nebula is quiet long enough that Mantis starts to feel a twinge of self-consciousness. The fingers of her other hand curl into a nervous fist and she’s about to tell Nebula it’s okay, you don’t have to but as she opens her mouth to speak Nebula beats her to it.

“I—yes, you can…yes.” Her voice is harsh sounding, like it usually was, but she speaks haltingly.

Mantis blinks, breaks into a relieved smile and closes the distance between them until they’re face to face. Mantis reaches for Nebula’s face slowly. Nebula watches with serious black eyes, and there’s an intensity to her expression as she tracks Mantis’s movements that makes Mantis’s heart flutter. She smiles reassuringly before finally cupping Nebula’s face with her hands. Nebula’s breath hitches when their skin finally makes contact and her emotions bloom into life within Mantis.

Mantis doesn’t realize how much closer they’ve gotten until she feels pressure where Nebula’s forehead presses into hers. Her antennae dip close to Nebula’s eyes, and Nebula squints as they flutter across her brow. Mantis gently strokes Nebula’s cheek with one thumb and slowly, so slowly, Nebula closes her eyes and relaxes in her hands.

Nebula’s breathing evens out again, and the combination of that and how she seems to have melted into Mantis’s touch almost makes Mantis think she’s fallen asleep.

“Your antennae are glowing,” Nebula says quietly. When she opens her eyes again Mantis can see the bright pinprick of her antennae’s glow reflected in Nebula’s black eyes. Mantis hadn’t noticed how brightly they’d lit up.

“They glow because you love me,” Mantis replied, “and they glow because I love you.”

Nebula inhales sharply and for a brief instant Mantis can feel the spike of rapidfire embarrassment and denial before she jolts back out of Mantis’s touch.  Just before the connection is severed she catches a tiny glimpse of Nebula’s deeply buried affection and Mantis can’t help the breathy laugh that escapes her as she’s overcome with her own fondness.

When her laughter finally subsides and she can look at Nebula again her cheeks are a deeper shade of blue than they normally are, and she could almost be glaring except for how flustered she looks and Mantis thinks it’s terribly endearing.

She reaches for Nebula again—happy when she lets Mantis cup her cheek again—and rubs her thumb across Nebula’s cheek. “It’s okay,” she assures. “This is new to me too.” Mantis pauses, sends Nebula a rush of affection. It’s a tangled mix of longing and want and joy and everything she feels when she’s with Nebula. “I do not have much experience with romantic relationships, but I think I would like to be with you, if you would like to try.”

Nebula doesn’t reply right away, and Mantis knows she’s struggling to digest her declaration, needs to sort through the overload of emotions, so she waits.

There’s no rush.

She keeps her hands on Nebula’s face, gentle and reassuring and light enough that Nebula can pull back if she wants to, but she doesn’t. The seconds tick past and still she doesn’t break away; if anything, she seems to lean harder into Mantis’s touch.

Finally, Nebula moves closer, pressing her forehead to Mantis’s. She’s still full of uncertainty, but there’s affection there, too. It’s apprehensive and guarded, but it’s there and these feelings Mantis—baffling and startling though they may be for someone like Nebula—outweigh all the doubt and unease and fear.

“I think I would like that, too.”