#buckysimp101

a/n: Oooooooh boy! Let’s get into it friends! Taglist is open, send me a message or leave a comment if you wish to be added to it!  Also, I know this fic has the same name as the Lion King quote and I promise it’ll make sense when we get started lol. This is a WIP & will be cross-posted on AO3 & Wattpad if you prefer to read it there! Same username for these three platforms.

Main Story

Chapter One 

Chapter Two

Chapter Three 

Chapter Four 

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen 

Chapter Sixteen 

Chapter Seventeen 

Chapter Eighteen 

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty (coming soon)

Updates

Ever since the combination bachelor and bachelorette party, Bucky’s brain had been in a fog, one that hadn’t seemed to lift until the doors opened to reveal you in a white dress on the arm of Tony Stark, making your way down the aisle towards him. There was a part of Bucky that was so thrilled to see you, a part of him that preened at the fact that his lifelong dreams, that he’d long since deemed unattainable, had come true. But those hopes and feelings were doused with a cool bucket of guilt and regret as he remembered everything that had led the two of you to this moment. 

So he offered you a small smile, held your hand when he was supposed to and slid that ring onto your finger before pressing a kiss onto your lips, hoping they’d be able to provide all the words he couldn’t say, publicly claiming you in front of the world. You’d both walked away from the altar in a daze and it wasn’t until the photographer began gathering your friends around for pictures that either of you spoke.

“James…are you okay?” You breathed the words, almost as if you were afraid to hear the answer. And for once in his life, Bucky was completely unsure of how to respond. So he said and did the first thing that he could think of. He slid his hand to yours and intertwined your fingers before whispering. 

“I am so sorry, sweet girl.”

He heard the hitch in your breathing and dared to look at your eyes, the tears swimming there as you took in your husband and he took in his wife. 

His wife.

A dream that was made possible by everything going to absolute shit. A dream that would swiftly become a nightmare.

He raised his thumb to lightly wipe away the tears that had formed on your lashes and he thought he felt your body relax into his, if only a little bit, before he turned back around.

“Thank you, Bucky. For saving my life. I don’t believe I’ve thanked you for that yet. I’ve blamed you. Time and time again. For more years than I care to count. But I know you’re putting your life on the line to save me too and I just…needed you to know that.” 

Your words were soft but intentional and Bucky could practically feel the emotion oozing out of your words. But he couldn’t respond. Couldn’t reply. A part of Bucky that knew you well, and had always known you, kept him quiet but urged him to hold your hand and give you a comforting squeeze before the pair of you were swept up in the craziness of the wedding reception before you.

Tony was the first of the family to approach the two of you and as he approached Bucky with fire and fury blazing in his eyes he stuck out his hand, Bucky accepting, and whispered with an intensity that would put Natasha to shame, “so help me, Barnes, do not make me regret this.”

Bucky gave Tony a short nod and a swift pump of his hand as the billionaire turned to sweep you into a hug, Pepper not far behind. As more family and friends approached the two of you, it turned into a receiving line, allowing the two of you to greet your guests as they were plied with food and drink and music began to start up in the hall. Bucky’s parents gave him a tight squeeze of a hug as they whispered good tidings to the two of you, and the people just kept coming. And coming. And coming. And while the family and friends had been in the front of the line, the back of the line was full of acquaintances, both legitimate  and non, that wanted a look at the couple who would be taking Manhattan by storm. The couple that had essentially started a war.

He heard the whisperings of someone as they walked past the two of you stating, “she must be pregnant… you don’t leave someone, come back after ten years and get married immediately. She was cheating on Stinson with him, she’s got his child inside her and she’s trying not to be cast away like last week’s leftovers. When that’s all she’s good for.” 

Bucky loosed a low growl and was two seconds away from stalking after the woman who’d spoken the words when the woman behind her shushed her before hissing, “they are in love and always have been. Why are you even here if you’re so ungrateful and spewing such lies and faith,” before stomping away towards the bar. Bucky made a mental note to thank her at some point during the night. 

He felt a finger tap his wrist before realizing it was you trying to calm him down. He could tell by the look on your face you’d heard the words they had said but before he could assure you that he’d take care of you you shook your head and whispered, “it’s not worth it. They’re not worth it,” before clearing your throat and looping your arm into Bucky’s and speaking a little louder, “come, husband, let’s get a drink before we dance all night.”

Bucky swore he felt his heart float out of his chest at your statement, but he didn’t comment on it. He merely led you to the bar to get the night started. 

It wasn’t long that the music for your first dance was starting and Bucky was leading the two of you to the dance floor as the chords to Jason Mary’s “I Won’t Give Up” began playing through the venue hall. Bucky’s hand was reaching, almost tentative, but you put a stop to that as you gently took his hand into yours and moved his other to sit on your waist as you laid your head on his chest and the two of you began to sway together to the music.

Your bubble was silent for a moment as the two of you took in the closeness, the proximity, the seriousness of the events of the day. And when you removed your head from his chest to look in his eyes Bucky felt his world fall apart and click back into place. You were his life. You were always his life. And nobody could take that away from him.

In that glance it was as if a moment of silent understanding passed between the two of you. A moment that felt more serious than anything you’d done so far on this momentous day. A look that said he’d burn the world down for you. And you’d let him.

Your stomach had been rolling all night out of fear of what you and Bucky had just done. Not the action itself, but what it truly meant and what it would bring. Wanda and Natasha had seen the look in your eye and had been steadily plying you with alcohol throughout the night while Bucky made sure you had food on your stomach and offered you bites of food whenever you would take a break.

You had danced with Tony and Bucky had danced with Winnie, each dance drawing tears to everyone’s eyes. You had the chance to thank Tony for his protection and his love over the years and you made him promise to let you visit whenever you wanted. He’d sworn he’d never revoke your privileges and that he expected to see his daughter all the time. Even if you did work together daily. 

That had earned him a light hearted punch to the gut.

The night was beginning to calm down a little more and the toasts had started. Steve had given his best man speech as he relayed stories of the three of you in your childhood, stories specifically meant to bring a blush to you and your new husbands’ cheeks.

Your husband. James Buchanan Barnes was your husband. Of all the things you thought could happen when you came back to New York this hadn’t even made the list. And while the reason behind your marriage was glaringly obvious to you, you couldn’t help but bask in the feeling of warmth that wracked your body as you chanced a look at your husband.

Bucky was gorgeous, albeit a bit sweaty after dancing and charming people for the last couple hours, you could see where his hand had been run through his hair a number of times, his nervous habit. He was laughing at a story Wanda was telling, likely an embarrassing one from your college days, his blue eyes twinkling with laughter. Bucky pulled his hand from your grip to clap for Wanda’s toast and raise his drink in response, leading you to do the same. The laughter in the room began to quiet down as George Barnes took hold of the microphone, catching the attention of everyone in the room.

“Twenty years ago, this beautiful young woman came into our lives. And I knew that day that she’d change the world. That she’d change my life. My wife’s life. My son’s. You see, having a son is great and all and while he’s definitely done some things that have been silly at times and downright foolish at others,” he spoke with a knowing look in Bucky’s direction causing chuckles to abound in the room, most of them unaware about the latent heat sparking in the elder Barnes’ gaze, before he continued, “but the one thing he did right, was love this young woman with all his heart. Y/N, Winnie and I have never been more happy than today. Never more happy than to welcome you into our family. You’ve been a Barnes far longer than just today. And I am so happy to call you my daughter. We love you, sweet girl. And we just hope you’ll keep that son of ours in line.” His words were spoken with a sincerity that brought tears to your eyes and had Bucky clearing his throat and sniffling slightly. There were easy chuckles throughout the room as everyone lifted their glasses to toast alongside George.

“To my children. May their lives be one of protection, true love, and strength.”

The tears spilled over. You drank your champagne. And the music started back up yet again. 

You watched George make his way over to where you and Bucky were sitting as he extended his hand in your direction. “Mind if I share a dance with the most beautiful woman in the room?” His eyes were twinkling under the dance floor lighting and you heard Bucky chuckled behind you as he loosened his arm from around your waist, letting you follow George to the dance floor. 

“Don’t say that too loud, Mr. Barnes. Winnie’s around here somewhere waiting for you to misstep,” you teased, causing the older man to bark out a laugh as he spun you out onto the dance floor, teasing a laugh from you as well.

“She knows as well as I that she will always be the most beautiful woman in my life. But nothing compares to a bride on her wedding day,” his voice had softened as had the look in his eyes as the two of you danced slowly on the dance floor. For a brief moment you swore you saw the welling of tears in his eyes as the reality of the day sunk in.

“I’m sorry that this was forced on you, sweetheart. But I do hope you understand that it was the only way to help.”

You nodded, ready to tell him that you understood, that it would be okay, but he continued, “I will say, I always expected that when my son married it would be to you. Just never under these circumstances. But that boy loves you,” you inhaled a sharp gasp, your eyes flaring as you took in the words that George was saying. Loves. Present tense, not past. That was intentional. But before you could even speak, again, he spoke up, “he might not admit it, he’s probably not ready to admit it. But he never stopped loving you. And if this sham of a  marriage shows him anything, I hope it shows him how wrong he was to hurt you. And how disastrous it would be to lose you forever.”

It was your turn to well up with tears and you opened and closed your mouth, the words you wanted to say evading you as George pulled you in close for a hug and to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’ve never been happier to have a daughter in my life.”

The tears fell. 

George’s confession sinking in your stomach like a lead weight. Your brain taking the time to really take in the words he’d spoken. The words that would swirl in your brain, your heart, your stomach, until you were ready to deal with them. 

People slowly began to filter out of the reception hall as the night came closer and closer to an end. Wanda had left not long before to go back to her hotel room and prepare to head back to California the next day. While the two of you were getting ready that morning you’d almost begged her to stay an extra day but she’d teased up and told you how much she missed her boys before promising you to spend time together while you visited with Bucky in just a few weeks.

Tony and Pepper hadn’t been far behind Wanda and now the only people left were you and Bucky, George and Winnie and Steve and Natasha as men scrambled to get cars ready.

You hadn’t planned for a fancy send off and you exited the hall with Bucky’s arm draped lightly around your shoulder as his mother babbled on about the gossip she’d heard regarding some woman who was cheating on some man and how it was ‘absolutely scandalous darling.’

“Sweet girl you looked absolutely breath taking tonight, didn’t she just take your breath away, James?” You could tell Winnie was baiting Bucky but he seemed just fine to fall into the trap as he responded with a touch of a growl.

“Absolutely stunning.”

Your breath had hitched yet again and the place where his arm touched you had your bare skin igniting in flames. 

“Yes yes Winnie dear we know she was beautiful, no star has ever shined brighter. A regular Barnes family princess,” George grumbled as exhaustion began to seep into his features. You heard Bucky huff out a laugh causing you to face him to question what was so funny.

You saw the grin playing on his lips and opened your mouth to question him, when all of a sudden that grin dropped as fast as it had appeared, his eyes widening and his mouth opening to shout.

“GET DOWN!”

It all happened in a blink of an eye. Shouts erupted around you as loud pops sounded on the street. Your knees hit the ground before you could even gather your wits and you felt the physical presence of Bucky surrounding you as the sound of loud pops and screams reverberated through your bones. As fast as everything had been, Bucky had managed to slam you to the ground and reach for his gun as the gunmen had approached from out of nowhere. And his father had done the same. He threw Winnie to the ground next to you and proceeded to shoot at the approaching men, Steve and Natasha joining in as fast as they could. You could hear their shouts. A loud scuffle of feet as people ran. And then there was the squealing of car tires followed by a brief silence, accompanied by the sound of ringing in your ears.

A silence and ringing that ended in a heart-shattering, gut-wrenching wail. 

A wail that would haunt you for the rest of your days.

The wail of a widow.

As Winnifred Barnes sobbed over the corpse of her husband. His blood covering your wedding dress and her hands.

The war had started. And it had claimed its first victim.

a/n: i am sorry. i am so, so sorry.

taglist:

@youlightmeupfinn​

@la-undercover-latina​ 

@niki-is-a-thing​

@gloriouspurpose01​

@wintasssoldier​

@crazyunsexycool​

@the-fool-who-jingled

@missvelvetsstuff​

@enchantedbarnes​

@asoftie4bucky​

@luvrsbian​ 

@snufflet​

@some-lovely-day​

@mochie85​ 

@fangirlvoice​

@juulle987​

@fab-notfat​

@jackiehollanderr​ 

@hallecarey1​

@sherlockstrangewolf​ 

@lokisasgardianvampirequeen​

@tripletstephaniescp​

@potatothots​

@desert-fern​

@dhoruwolfie​

@emmabarnes​ 

@sky0401​

@broadwaybabe18​

@thebuckybarnesvault​

@wallace02sblog 

@youngblood199456​

@a-small-blue-nebula​

@elizacusi-blog​

@justlovelifeblog​

@sebsgirl71479​

@vickie5446​

@openup-yourmind​ 

@mimsie95

@kaitswrld​ 

@taylorspinkstripedsweater​

@eris-rose-86​

@goldenharrysworld​

@onlyferorder66​

@julieeba 

@ayyeitssarahh​

@d3m0n8ch1ld​

@sebastianstansqueen​

@not-another-fangirl​

@thesneakylittleminx​

Wails. The wails of a wife mourning her husband. It was Winnie’s sharp intake of breath before letting out another wail that brought you back to the present. Making you too aware of the feel of blood soaking through your fingers. To the red staining your wedding dress. To the tears making tracks down your cheeks as your body froze. It was as if you were wading through water. The voices were still muffled but you couldn’t seem to take your eyes off the body next to you. The feeling of a hand touching your shoulder grasped your attention as you tried to turn your head to face its owner. You were moving too slowly. Too slowly to actually function. But you knew you needed to look away. To get out. You all needed to get out. But looking into the shattered soul of Bucky Barnes had all the air whooshing out of your lungs.

Looking Bucky in the eyes was like what you expected it would feel like to open an airplane door mid-flight. He was watching you, his hand moving slowly to lightly grasp your chin. He was checking on you, making sure you weren’t harmed. But while he was checking on your physical wellbeing, you were taking inventory about his mental wellbeing. Bucky Barnes had spent years perfecting his look of disinterest, working hard to make sure a single emotion was never betrayed on his face. But Bucky wasn’t trying. You could see every single emotion fighting for dominance in his eyes. A roiling ocean of anger, angst, and fear. But he would never say that out loud. Bucky would never declare weakness. And this? This was intended to make him look weak. 

“It was intended for me,” he whispered to himself as he took your hands into his own and stared at his father’s blood staining you, his mother and the ground around him.

 You couldn’t breathe. 

You knew he was telling the truth. You both were aware that your marriage would start a war but you had, naively, thought it would take a little bit until the retaliation. And you surely didn’t expect the retaliation to begin with death.

Winnie’s wails had transitioned to hyperventilation, pulling you and Bucky from your shared shock to take in his mother. To full take stock of the situation at hand.

Natasha was in the process of pulling Winnie away from George’s body, but the widow gripped tighter, wails falling from her mouth yet again. Shattering your heart into a million pieces all over again and pulling your body over the edge. Sobs wracked your body as Bucky gripped you close to his chest and allowed you to cry before he was handing you to Steve and making his way to his mother. Winnie’s sobs worsened when Bucky took her in his arms and attempted to try and soothe his mother. As well as one can in such a traumatic moment.

The police showed up at some point but Steve and Bucky had taken over at some point, leaving you and Natasha to offer a shred of comfort to Winnie after the police had to practically force her out of the way so they could take George’s body. Her tears were soaking your hair and yours were soaking her dress. You knew the family was going to do something to make sure the word didn’t spread too far and wide about George’s death and if the press found out they’d find some way to try and spin it to take the heat off the rumors that would eventually swirl through Manhattan.

“He loved you. He always loved you. He suspected James being a part of the reason why you left all those years ago. But he never stopped loving you and he was always looking out for you,” Winnie’s voice cracked as she spoke, squeezing your hand to emphasize her words, bringing fresh tears to both of your eyes. 

Another hour passed.

And eventually your group was being moved into cars that weren’t marred with bullet holes and taken to the place you weren’t expecting. 

Stark Tower.

Tony and Pepper threw their door open, welcoming the members of the Barnes family into their penthouse before pulling you and Winnie into their arms and offering condolences, new shoulders to cry on.

“Winnifred, I am so so sorry. I know there’s nothing I can say to change it, but please if you need anything, you can come to me,” Pepper urged, rubbing her hand on Winnie’s back.

You heard Tony whispering his condolences to Bucky and offering his penthouse  as headquarters for the necessary regrouping that would no doubt take place through the next many days. At least until George’s funeral.

You heard Bucky’s whispered thanks as he sat gingerly on the couch next to you.

What do you say to someone who just watched their father die a brutal death? On what was supposed to be the happiest day of your life?

Nothing.

There are no words.

But actions?

You slipped your hand into his, offering a tight squeeze.

He returned the gesture.

You’d get through this. You all would. It would hurt. You knew that. It already felt like someone had started the process of cleaving your very soul from your body. But you needed to survive. You had to survive. George would have wanted it.

Bucky stood abruptly as Steve entered the room with a number of Barnes men. Their faces were almost identical. Somber looks with obvious anger simmering behind their eyes. You could practically feel the tension in the room as Steve approached Bucky slowly. Stopping right in front of his best friend. Dropping to his knees.

And withdrawing his gun. Holding it flat in his palm. An offering.

And then he spoke.

“I offer my life and my loyalty, to the family Barnes. Upon the death of George Henry Barnes,” the sound of those in the room taking in a collective sharp inhale as his voice wobbled slightly, “I promise to walk beside James Buchanan Barnes. The head of this family. I promise to stay loyal. To never betray this organization. And should I fail, I offer my gun. My life. There will always be a bullet with my name on it.”

The words that Steve spoke fell heavy over your group. You could see Bucky’s throat moving as he tried hard to swallow the hurt that was making its way up his throat. It was dead silent as the room awaited Bucky’s response. Bucky nodded his head slightly, a silent gesture for Steve to stand. Steve bowed his head, moving his gun back to his holster as he stood, awaiting his boss’ response.

He took in a body shuddering breath and responded. 

“Steven Grant Rogers, your loyalty has been noted by this family for years. You will be the underboss of this family. And no one is to question you. You will take on the jobs assigned to you. And should my time on this earth be short, you will take care of this family. And so it is known.”

“And so it is known,” the other Barnes men repeated as Steve took a step to Bucky’s right side and the remaining men began their oath to Bucky and the family much like Steve just had. 

James Buchanan Barnes was officially the boss of the Barnes family.

And everything was going to change.

taglist:

@youlightmeupfinn​

@la-undercover-latina​ 

@niki-is-a-thing​

@gloriouspurpose01​

@wintasssoldier​

@crazyunsexycool​

@the-fool-who-jingled

@missvelvetsstuff​

@enchantedbarnes​

@asoftie4bucky​

@luvrsbian​ 

@snufflet​

@some-lovely-day​

@mochie85​ 

@fangirlvoice​

@juulle987​

@fab-notfat​

@jackiehollanderr​ 

@hallecarey1​

@sherlockstrangewolf​ 

@lokisasgardianvampirequeen​

@tripletstephaniescp​

@potatothots​

@desert-fern​

@dhoruwolfie​

@emmabarnes​ 

@sky0401

@broadwaybabe18​

@thebuckybarnesvault​

@wallace02sblog 

@youngblood199456​

@a-small-blue-nebula​

@elizacusi-blog​

@justlovelifeblog​

@sebsgirl71479​

@vickie5446​

@openup-yourmind​ 

@mimsie95

@kaitswrld​ 

@taylorspinkstripedsweater​

@eris-rose-86​

@goldenharrysworld​

@onlyferorder66​

@julieeba  

@ayyeitssarahh​

@d3m0n8ch1ld​

@sebastianstansqueen​

@not-another-fangirl​

@thesneakylittleminx​

Tony Stark is the reason you’re here now. The reason you dared step foot back in Manhattan a decade later at twenty-eight years old. You started working for Stark Industries out of Malibu, starting as a personal assistant, basically running coffee orders and dry cleaning, to Pepper Potts and eventually you worked up to the level of Executive Assistant to the CEO of Stark Industries as you made your way through law school. Pepper was in place as acting CEO of the company but Tony still pulled all the major strings. And that meant that a part of you still had to listen to Tony. It didn’t help that Tony and Pepper had practically taken you in as their own kid, a fact that made you feel closer to them than your own parents at times. Which is how you ended up here. 

When Pepper called you into her office six months ago and told you that she’d be moving back to New York to work in the Stark Industries headquarters there and that she and Tony had been very impressed with your work ethic and wanted to take you on permanently as the new legal consultant for the company following your Bar results. A part of you hesitated when you heard the only stipulation was that you would have to move back to the city. You tried to ask Pepper if you could work out of the Malibu office and fly to the city whenever they needed you, you all would have the money and the means to do it, but she insisted that she needed you by her side as Tony started putting his dreams of expanding the scope of his business to paper. 

You thought about it long and hard. It wasn’t a decision you could make lightly, knowing your history in New York, and the uncertainty that lined your stomach as you thought about all the ways the city you once had loved and called home had possibly changed. But eventually you gave in. You hadn’t gone to school for corporate law just to turn down the biggest and brightest job opportunity that would ever fall into your lap. So you said yes. You contacted your landlord and talked your way into the termination of your lease, agreeing to pay an extra months worth of rent but that was it. You said goodbye to your friends that you had met and become close with these last ten years and promised to visit whenever you could. Your closest friend Wanda squeezed you tight and made you promise to call whenever you had the chance and to FaceTime her when you got into town. She’d never been to New York and you told her you’d fly her and the boys out to visit you whenever you could. Wanda had married Jarvis within a year of you introducing the two of them at one of Tony’s parties. Not long after came the twins Billy and Tommy, your nephews for all intents and purposes. As a single child you knew that they were closest you’d probably get.

While you didn’t FaceTime Wanda the second you reached the city you did send her a few pictures as you took a taxi to the apartment that you’d been able to set up while packing up your life on the other side of the country. Your parents had been upset when you told them that you were moving back home but were not moving back in with them. They almost flat out refused to accept it until you reminded them that you’d spent ten years on your own and that you didn’t need their help. They relented at that, shrank back almost as if you’d burned them, but there was no malicious intent in your words, just truth. So they offered to help a little bit and to look around for some apartments and send you pictures before you moved in. You met with the landlord, picked up the keys and rode the elevator up to the apartment. It was a nice place, good views on the city and spacious enough for one person without selling your vital organs on the black market. The movers were still traversing the country but they’d promised to be there tomorrow morning bright and early ready to unpack ten years of memories and place them into a place where they didn’t quite fit.

You made one concession in your move. You promised your parents that you would stay with them tonight. Tony and Pepper had offered you to sleep in their guest room while you awaited your furniture but you knew that would hurt your parents more than you wanted. So after dropping off one of your suitcases of clothes, you took the other and hailed another cab to your parents place. You could have called their driver, Jack, but you just needed a little time alone, without a familiar face, before dealing with your parents on their turf.

You came from good money. Your parents weren’t poor but they definitely weren’t as rich as Tony. They had money to give you a comfortable life, a private school education and a car when you turned sixteen in a city where that was not only unnecessary but pretty unfeasible as far as parking was concerned. You drove that car across the country for college and drove it into the ground until you decided to buy a new one. You tried your best not to rely on your parents’ money. You saved so much money working in college and while you were in law school working for Tony that you didn’t exactly need to depend on your parents. And after the salary that Tony and Pepper had promised you, you could practically feel the pride growing in your stomach that you wouldn’t need to be fiscally reliant on your parents ever again.

When the cab pulled up at your parents house you could practically feel your heart digging its way into your stomach. It hadn’t changed at all. Granted it was a little difficult to change a townhouse in the middle of Manhattan but you brushed that thought aside, thanked the cabby and walked up to your childhood home. The minute the door opened it was like walking into a memory. To the left was the living room with the same couch that you’d had your first kiss on, the memory bringing a tingle to your lips. You knew if you went up the stairs you’d probably find either a time capsule or a shrine in what used to be your room. Your mother was nothing if not dramatic and when you left for college and stated you were never coming back, she didn’t take it that well.

Ten Years Ago

“You can cry all you want, I’m not coming back here. I’m moving to California, I’m going to school and I am going to become a lawyer and I will never set foot in this godforsaken city ever again!” You knew your cries and threats were good, albeit a little dramatic, and your mother did too. The hurt you’d been through in the last few months had felt like someone had ripped your heart from your chest, stabbed it multiple times, and then tried to stuff it back in, not caring if it hurt you in the first place.

“Sweetheart he’s just a boy! Surely you’d want to come back and visit your family! You don’t have to see him, it’s a big cit-“ your mother started, practically begging you to stay, but your father interrupted her.

“Y/M/N this is for the best. She knows what she’s doing by going to the other side of the country. Let her. It might be the best thing for her,” your father had stated and you had flung yourself into his arms thanking him with every breath you could muster. 

He was right. You had made up your mind. You’d made up your mind the second HE stopped answering your phone calls. And your texts. When HE stopped coming around to visit you just because. When HE missed your anniversary. And your 18th birthday. And your high school graduation. When Bucky Barnes practically disappeared into thin air on an island that is simultaneously too large and too fucking small. Ghosting you and the decade long relationship the two of you had built. So you thought it best that you leave. Leave the place that held the memories of every touch, every laugh, every kiss he had ever placed upon you. And so, you did.

You liked to think of your time in California as a reinvention of yourself. You made new friends and tried your best to forget about the ones you had left behind. In the beginning you’d occasionally find yourself stalking his social media, or the social media of any of your other mutual friends that might just prove that he was okay. But they were all locked up tight. When Bucky ghosted you it seemed all your mutuals had as well. Steve and Natasha had gone so far as to block your number and your socials, Sam had just unfriended you. The betrayal hurt, especially Steve’s. You, Steve and Bucky had grown up together. You went to the same school, your parents were of the same social class and you just clicked, despite the boys being a year older and grade above you. 

The trouble started when you entered second grade. For the first time in your entire school career, the three of you had the same recess period. And when one of the boys in your grade decided to pull your ponytail and throw your bow into the mud, Steve and Bucky couldn’t, nay wouldn’t, take that. The kid mysteriously ended up with a black eye and a lifelong friendship had begun, or so you’d thought. When tyou hit high school, you and Bucky started to flirt. Steve hated it, said he hated being the third wheel all the time. But it wasn’t until you turned sixteen that you and Bucky decided to see if you could be anything more.

Bucky Barnes was your first everything. The first hand you ever held. The first boy you ever kissed. The first person to ever truly love you. Or so you thought. When the texts stopped coming. And the phone calls started being sent to voicemail, eventually you received an answer from a robotic voice on the other end saying the dreaded “we’re sorry but the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected or changed.” And all your so-called friends just ignored you, that’s when you knew it wasn’t love. It was foolishness. You’d been fooled by the pretty face that was Bucky Barnes and you promised that you would never be fooled by it again. 

“I can’t believe my eyes! Is that my sweet girl standing in my foyer for the first time in a decade!” Your mother practically bubbled over with excitement as she hurried down the stairs to pull you into a hug. While your relationship with your parents had been strained over the last ten years, there was a part of you that always appreciated the love and light that only your mother could give you.

“I hope you’re hungry, I got your favorite ordered for dinner as a welcome home treat! Your father will be home soo-,” she started but in true Y/F/N fashion the front door opened at that very moment to reveal him.

He looked more tired than when you’d seen him at Christmas. More harrowed, older. You obviously knew that time hadn’t just frozen because you’d left home but he definitely wasn’t the younger man you’d left standing on the front steps as you drove off to college ten years ago. He hadn’t looked up yet, staring intently at something on his phone before speaking. “Y/M/N, I saw a cab just pull off a minute ago, is Y/N here yet?”

“Why don’t you pull your head out of that infernal technology and look up dear?” 

Your fathers eyes were on you in a minute, softening and showing a bit more of the man that you once knew.

“Hey, dad. Miss me?”

He moved fast, pulling you into a hug with a squeeze that could have choked you had you not been preparing for it like you’d been doing all your life. “It’s good to see you, sweet pea,” he whispered in your ear before pulling back to get a better look at you.

“You’re too thin! What were they feeding you in California, nothing but tofu and wheat germ I’m sure,” your mother took you by the arm and led you to the dining room, chattering on about how you obviously weren’t getting a proper nutrition on the West Coast but that she would make sure that changed here. You drowned her out just a little, you’d become a pro of that in your pre-teen and teen years, never truly wanting to listen to your mother telling you that your friends, no matter how well connected, were never truly good enough.

Dinner was like nothing had ever changed. Your father sat at the head of the table, your mother to his right and you to his left, as you talked about your flight, and packing, and what time the movers were going to be in town the next day. Your father asked about your work schedule and your plans for the next few weeks, while your mother told you about her best friends’ son and how he just became a member of the state Senate, it was beginning to become a little overwhelming. You’d barely been in the city for a day and your mother was already trying to set you up on a blind date. You took your deep breaths like you’d practiced and did your best to tune her out for the rest of dinner. 

As the evening drifted on and your mother swore more and more that Liam was ‘just the sweetest’ and the ‘cutest thing since they started mixing poodles into all the dog breeds’ you’d had enough. You expressed your interest to check out the city and see what had changed. Your mother had almost refused until she realized that you didn’t live there anymore. You were a 28 year old with your own apartment, your own job, your own car, and you didn’t need to listen to her. You were doing her a favor by staying in her house tonight. So she let you go, so long as you promised not to be out too late and to let her know when you were coming home. 

You considered that a win. You promised her that you were just going to try and find a bar for a drink or two and that you wouldn’t stay out too late. Your father murmured something in your ear about being careful, that the city wasn’t the same as what you’d left, but you just waved his warning off and heading down the steady darkening streets of Manhattan until you stumbled upon a club you remembered all too well. A club that was bound to force you into a trip down memory lane if you walked in its doors. The irony of being legally allowed into The Underworld now as an adult, and not having to sneak past the bouncers trying to keep underaged, up-to-no-good teenagers out, wasn’t lost on you. So you mustered up your courage and approached the tall blonde man built like a damn grizzly bear out front and flashed him your ID before being granted access to one of the best clubs in the city.

The club looked a little different than you remembered. As if the owners had finally pulled it into the twenty-first century. The bar was glass and the lights were dimmed just so that everyone in the room was cast in shadow. Lights flashed on the crowded dance floor and a roped-off section surrounded by sheer curtains just up the stairs, where you knew the VIP lounge once stood, remained virtually untouched. You could bet that if you went up there now you’d be able to see everything going on in the club, but nobody would be able to look in. 

Bucky snuck you in here a couple of times. Specifically to the VIP section during the day when you were supposed to be in school or super late at night when you were supposed to be in bed. The thrill of possibly being caught always made the time you spent here more fun. The memories playing on repeat in your mind caused your heart to sting just a little. You’d always joked with Bucky that he needed to stop carting you off to The Underworld whenever he felt like it, it was becoming a little too similar to Greek mythology. He just laughed it off.

You did your best to push away the unwarranted memories, and began to make new ones in their place. You ordered a drink at the bar, shot it back, and then ordered a second before making your way to the already crowded dance floor. You let your inhibitions free for just a moment, losing yourself in the music as you swayed back and forth, until a pair of strong hands attached themselves to your waist, almost questioningly. You looked up and saw a cute guy, blonde with sparkling green eyes, silently asking you to dance with him. Shrugging, you turned back around and continued swaying your hips as he pulled you closer to him. The closeness lasted a minute, maybe two tops, before his body was being yanked away from you, his nails almost digging into your skin before he was unceremoniously shoved away. You turned around, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on and who the fuck had the audacity to remove your dance partner from you when the admonishment got stuck in your throat. Because after ten years of course this would happen. No matter how big Manhattan may seem, it never failed to remind you how small it truly was. As you took in the hulking brown haired, ocean eyed god before you with muscles for days you realized you’d made a mistake coming here.

Bucky Barnes stood before you with all the power of a god on earth. And you felt like you might finally face his wrath. 

taglist:

@youlightmeupfinn

@la-undercover-latina

@niki-is-a-thing

@gloriouspurpose01

@wintasssoldier

@crazyunsexycool

@the-fool-who-jingled

@missvelvetsstuff

@enchantedbarnes

@asoftie4bucky

@theluvcafe

@snufflet

@some-lovely-day

@mochie85

@fangirlvoice

@juulle987

@fab-notfat

@jackiehollanderr

@hallecarey1

Natasha and Steve both stood there quietly for a moment before Natasha scoffed, “way to fucking go, Barnes,” before she took off behind you. Bucky didn’t care what she did at that moment. Your words were affecting him more than he wanted either of them to know. But Steve knew. He was the only person to know why Bucky made the decisions he did all those years ago. And now he stood next to Bucky, silently weighing the gravity of the situation, and waiting for his best friend and boss to tell him what he needed next.  Bucky ignored him and headed back to the VIP section, stopping by Clint at the bar to grab a bottle of whiskey. 

“Wouldn’t want you lying to your men about how you’d never hurt a woman,” your words were stuck on repeat like a broken record in Bucky’s head. He’d forced himself not to outwardly wince at the anger that laced your words, he didn’t deserve the chance to show that vulnerability. Stalking up the steps to his table, Bucky’s eyes landed on Megan, a sight that was not very welcomed after his interaction with you. Megan couldn’t seem to read that the mood had changed, Bucky didn’t keep her around for her emotional intelligence. When her eyes landed on Bucky she turned on the charm, a sneaky smile painted on her lips and Bucky inwardly groaned. He just wanted to get drunk in his club and go home. Alone. 

So before Megan could even say one word Bucky spoke clearly, “Megan it’s time for you to go. I’ll order you an Uber,” he could tell she was gearing up for an argument so he merely held a hand up to stop her, gave a shake of his head, and pointed to the door. Megan knew better than to argue at that point. Bucky had said all he was going to say. If she tried to argue more then she’d be met with a very willing Thor Odinson practically throwing her out of the bar, as professional as possible of course. Megan wouldn’t have been the first woman that Bucky slept with that the bouncer had kicked out. Megan’s chin jutted out defiantly as she stepped around Bucky to go meet the Uber that Bucky was working out for her. When she finally disappeared, Bucky slumped into the booth and uncapped the bottle of whiskey in his hand, taking a long swig that burned as it made its way down his throat. But even the burning of the whiskey was incomparable to the words you spoke to your former friends before leaving. 

Bucky was pulled out of his thoughts by the shifting of the curtain revealing a frowning Steve Rogers and a fuming Natasha Romanoff. “If you’re here to tell me off, you’re wasting your breath. Just go,” Bucky drawled, not caring how mad he made his two best friends in that moment. Natasha must have noted the nonchalantness in his tone because she stormed off without another word or glance in his direction. Steve let out a loud sigh as he plopped onto the booth next to Bucky, grabbing the bottle and taking a drink just like Bucky had moments before. The two friends sat in silence, trading pulls of the fiery whiskey. Steve decided to break the silence.

“She looks great,” he whispered, avoiding eye contact with Bucky.

Bucky huffed out an unimpressed laugh, “of course she does. I didn’t leave her because she was ugly,” the words tumbling past his lips almost cutting him as deeply as your own. Steve cringed at Bucky’s crass words, the words were just more proof of how much had changed in the last decade. Steve merely shook his head, took one final drink, and stood from the booth. 

“You ever gonna tell her why you left her, Buck? It might soften here view of you a little bit?”

“Why would I do that? It’s better for her to hate me anyway,” Bucky responded before taking another long sip, feeling the slow-growing haze of the alcohol taking control. 

“What about Natasha, Buck? She deserves to know the reason why you made her leave her best friend,” Steve poked carefully, knowing the topic was one that was known to make Bucky twitchy and angry. 

But Bucky just rolled his eyes and shrugged, “she’ll get over it. She did before.” Steve repeated the loud sigh from when he’d flopped into the booth minutes before as he left Bucky alone with his thoughts.

It only took about ten more minutes of being stuck with his thoughts and a bottle of whiskey before Bucky headed out the back door for a smoke. The smell of burning tobacco reminded him of how much you’d hated it.

Ten Years Ago

“Buckyyyyy you know I hate it when you smoke,” you had whined after kissing him and making a face of disgust. 

“Sorry, honey. It just…helps,” he’d thrown the shitty answer out without providing much of an explanation. You knew what he meant. As soon as Bucky had turned eighteen and his father had made him take on the mantle of underboss officially he’d been more stressed than ever. Stressed that he would do something wrong and jeopardize the family and the business. Stressed that you wouldn’t want to stay with him the more you found out about the things he’d had to do.

But you only looked at him with that all-consuming look of adoration as you’d teased, “Mmmm, there are better ways to help with the stress,” as you stood on your tiptoes to press a kiss on his cheek. He’d cheekily tried to turn his face so you were forced to kiss his lips but you’d pulled back before adding, “sorry, love. The taste of tobacco doesn’t do it for me.” 

He’d rolled his eyes and reached into his pocket and pulled out a stick of gum. The laugh that came from you at his cheeky intentions warmed his heart. Every one of your laughs were like a spot of sunshine on a dark and stormy day. They warmed him from the inside and he just wanted to be a cat and bask lazily in that warmth. 

The next two days went by as any other. Bucky hadn’t heard from Megan since he’d dismissed her from The Underworld two days ago, it wouldn’t surprise him if Natasha had said something to her on her way out that pissed her off. He knew he’d hear from her eventually when she was ready to let out all her frustrations. The legitimate ones and the sexual ones. But Bucky preferred to contact her, not the other way around, in order to maintain some semblance of control and order. 

Tonight was the Barnes Family Dinner. At least once a month, his mother tried to get every member of her family in one place to have dinner and pretend like they lead mundane lives. The one time that Bucky had rebelled against the idea of it when he was in his teens he’d made his mother cry and he’d gotten a verbal lashing from his father about how his mother didn’t ask for much and she just loved her family and wanted them to be together. Bucky had never questioned it again.

 But today Bucky was questioning everything. After drinking himself to sleep two nights ago he’d woken up with a killer hangover, the first in years, and had attempted to drown his sorrows yet again only to be stopped by Steve and Natasha. Bucky had regretted ever giving the two of them a key to his place in that moment as Steve looked at him with the sad puppy dog eyes he’d perfected over decades; meanwhile Natasha smirked evilly like she wanted to grab all the pots and pans in his kitchen and play them like an instrument to further agitate him. When he asked them what they were doing there, Steve explained that Winnie had called him in a nervous tizzy about how she’d tried calling Bucky a thousand times and each call had gone straight to voicemail. Bucky had groaned in response at the realization that his phone had died and of course it would die when his mother wanted to talk to him. 

Not wanting Winnifred to think he was died, he’d thanked Steve, dismissed him and Natasha, and plugged in his phone to contact his mother. Sure enough, twenty missed calls and at least fifty text messages from “Ma” sat awaiting response. She’d only called originally to remind him of family dinner the next night and the location she’d chosen. The call turned into a tense reminder that he needed to be more diligent about his phone so she knew he was safe. Bucky’d laughed internally at that. Nothing about his life was safe. But Winnifred Barnes knew that very well.

So here he stood, outside a bougie French restaurant on the Upper East Side, one he’d been forced to many times as a child and teen, awaiting his parents arrival. 

“Oh look at my boy, oh you’re so handsome!” He heard his mother before he saw her, in true Winnie fashion. Bucky was scooped into the arms of his mother before his father could even try to stop her. She pressed a kiss on Bucky’s cheek before pulling away to get a better look at him, as if it had been years since she’d seen him and not just a few weeks. 

“Hi, ma,” Bucky drawled, pulling her in for a tight hug. Winnifred Barnes was drop dead gorgeous. Nobody in all of New York could argue that her genes weren’t the strongest because she said copy and paste when it came to her only child. Dark brown hair streaked with grey, ‘because it made her look distinguished’ and ‘I’m not trying to look twenty five anymore!’, and a pair of the most striking blue eyes to ever stare you down. George on the other hand, had fully embraced the greying, his black hair and brown eyes looking more weathered and worn as the life took its toll. Bucky pulled his father into a quick hug, offering a clap on the back, before leading them inside to dinner. Winnie was talking his ear off about how he should try to see them more, how dinners a few times a month can’t make up for actually seeing and talking to him, Bucky was working on drowning her out a little when he noticed that she’d done it naturally. Because as they were walking through the restaurant, Bucky wasn’t on full alert like normal. And that would cost him. 

Because sure as they rounded the corner, his mother stopped pestering him and nearly squealed in his ear, “Oh my god, Y/N L/N, is that you sweetheart!?”

Bucky’s blood ran cold as he froze mid-step. Sure enough, when he turned to the left, there you were. With Senator Liam fucking Stinson. Looking like prey in front of its predator as your attention turned to the Barnes family. Bucky’s parents both started towards you with twin looks of glee and Bucky groaned inwardly, knowing that this night was going to be longer than he’d anticipated.

“Oh my sweet girl, hello how are you!?” Winnie spoke, enthusiasm brightening every word, as she paid no attention to the man beside you and swooped in for a hug. The surprise and confusion on your face told Bucky that you’d never expected this sort of reunion with his parents. 

“H-hi, Mrs. Barnes, I’m well, I hope you are,” you started but Bucky’s mother cut you off.

“Oh dear its Winnie, Mrs. Barnes is my mother-in-law,” she teased, an easier smile playing on your lips as you relaxed a little into the easygoing conversation. It didn’t last long before George Barnes himself was pulling you in for a tight hug as he whispered something into your ear, making your eyes take on that embarrassed look, before you whispered some response back, pulling out a loud laugh from the older man.

Liam Stinson looked concerned. As he should be. He had to have known that the Barnes family was aware of his ‘detective’ work and they were onto him. But judging by the look on his face, Stinson hadn’t realized just how close you were, well had been, with the Barnes family. Finally Liam spoke, making his presence known.

“Mr. and Mrs. Barnes, James, nice to see you.”

“Oh my goodness, little Liam. All grown up and a Senator now. Marsha must be so proud,” Winnifred spoke in a practiced voice. Bucky almost snorted at the statement because if there was anyone that Winnifred Barnes disliked most, it was Marsha Stinson.

Liam continued on about his family and how they were doing but Bucky felt two sets of eyes on him. Yours and his fathers. Bucky knew that George was trying to get a read on him, to see how he felt about his former love being with the man who seemed to want to bring down the Barnes empire, but Bucky let that go. Your gaze was a mix of confusion and anger. Emotions that Bucky knew were well-deserved. The conversation was coming to a close as the hostess circled back to reroute the Barnes’ to their private table in the back.

“Oh well we won’t keep you from your dinner, Y/N it was good seeing you sweetheart, I can’t believe how much you’ve grown,” his mother spoke, a trace of sadness lacing her voice. Winnie had always been close with you, you had once considered her to be like a second mother to you. That is until Bucky ripped the supports out from under you. 

“You’re as smart and beautiful as ever, sweet girl. And remember, if you ever think about leaving Stark, Barnes Inc. has a spot with your name on it,” George teased with a wink. Bucky froze yet again at what his father was suggesting and decided the conversation had truly gone far enough.

“Let’s leave the good Senator and Ms. L/N to their dinner,” he spoke before following the hostess to their table without a second look in your direction.

During dinner, George and Winnie seemed to have read that something was up with Bucky and that he wasn’t in the mood to talk about you, so they talked about everything else instead. It wasn’t until dessert was brought around that George spoke about you.

“So Y/N’s back in town. Smart and beautiful as ever. It's a shame, there was a time when I thought you two kids would run Barnes Inc. side-by-side. She’d be the Nala to your Simba,” he teased the Lion King joke that had at one point been an ongoing inside joke with his family, “but then she just…disappeared out of our lives one day. Moved all the way to California and we never heard a peep out of her again. Even Y/F/N and Y/M/N never talked about what she was doing. Any clue why that is?”

Winnie seemed interested in the answer too, and Bucky sighed as he took a sip of his cabernet sauvignon before answering, “dunno, dad. Ask her yourself if you want the answer.” Bucky’s response ended the questioning in its tracks, but the look in his father’s eyes told him that this wasn’t the end and there would definitely be more questions in the future.

When he’d made the decision to up and leave, Bucky had only told Steve, much to George’s chagrin. He knew he couldn’t tell his parents the reason why he’d left you, he didn’t know if it was from fear of how their feelings would change towards him or you, so he just pretended like he had no clue why you’d stopped showing up, at the same time pretending like he wasn’t hurt in the slightest. Because the reason Bucky left you stuck with him to this day.

Ten Years Ago

Bucky arrived at the L/N townhome, nervously playing with the ends of his coat sleeves. He wasn’t one to get nervous, but your parents had requested his presence today. A nineteen year old James Buchanan Barnes was not scared of anyone…except your parents. Ever since the two of you had started to date your parents’ opinions had soured towards him. When you were just friends they were the happiest they could be, albeit a little more strict than most parents in your socioeconomic class, but the second that playfulness turned to flirtation, they turned their backs on Bucky. Bucky wasn’t sure if it was the rumors that flew around about the Barnes family and their business, and maybe your parents just didn’t want you connected with it, but something had changed.

Your father opened the door, a frown crossing his face at the mere sight of Bucky, before he moved out of the way gesturing for Bucky to come inside. Bucky was led to the sitting room where your mother sat in a high backed chair conveniently located next to where your father would sit. In that moment they looked like a King and Queen calculating their next move. Bucky gulped as he moved his hands into his lap to keep from fiddling with his coat. 

“James, I’m sure you’re wondering why we’ve called you here,” your mother started, her tone icy as she seemed to look upon Bucky with an ever-growing sneer. Bucky tried his best not to physically shrink back at her tone. Even though she’d started to be very cold in her actions towards him, he’d never experienced this level from her before. That’s when Bucky realized this was the first time in a decade that he’d ever truly been alone with your parents. The nerves were back.

Bucky merely nodded his head, so your mother continued, “ we’ve noticed that you and Y/N have grown…closer…these past few years. And while that was fine once upon a time, things have changed. There have been…rumors…that the two of you are very close, and I know for a fact that you’ve even discussed your futures together and the wish to grow old with one another. I hate to be the bearer of this news, but that will not happen.”

Bucky’s confusion only grew as your father took over, “Our daughter will not be made a part of the Barnes family. She will not be your queen and she will never ‘work’ for Barnes Inc.”

Bucky’s heart was thundering in his chest at what your parents were implying. True you and Bucky had mentioned in passing a few times that you wanted to get married one day and start a family but that would be after college. You’d never even talked about wanting to work at Barnes Inc., partially because you knew what went on there. Bucky had tried to keep you somewhat sheltered from the life in the beginning but that just became more and more difficult as the years went on. His head was reeling as he tried to take in what your parents were saying while simultaneously trying to figure out where the hell you were. 

And that’s when your mother delivered the fatal blow, “You see, James. Y/N will never be a pawn in your game, because she’s already a soldier in ours. The Pierce family has our alliance and since the day she was born, our daughter was always supposed to marry Liam Stinson, to strengthen that alliance. And you will not prevent that.”

Ice flowed through Bucky’s veins at the mention of Pierce. Alexander Pierce was the, practically, sworn enemy of his father and somehow he’d managed to slip right under Bucky’s and George’s noses and steal the loyalties of the L/N family so easily. The ice melted into anger at the mention of the latter half of your mother’s statement. Liam Stinson was Alexander Pierce’s stepson. Some rumors had been tossed around once or twice when Bucky was younger that Pierce and Marsha had actually had an affair when Liam’s father was alive, but shortly after Marsha announced her pregnancy her husband had died in a tragic accident down at the docks. Not long after Marsha was marrying Alexander, and he was acting as father to her baby. Marsha never took the Pierce name and neither did Liam, Bucky was never sure why that was. But now, hearing the name Liam Stinson and Alexander Pierce and how they were all connected to you…broke him.

Had you been lying to him all these years? There was no way that you didn’t know about the person you were practically betrothed to, nor could you have possibly remained as unattached to Pierce in all the years of your family’s loyalty.

In that moment, Bucky felt lied to and betrayed, and he felt his emotions roiling inside of him, waiting to burst. His emotions threatened to slip out, but Bucky took on a calming air and waited for your parents to continue. It must have been the right decision because your mother smirked evilly in his direction before acknowledging your father to say his piece.

“You see, James. Y/N is a more valuable player in this game than you could have ever imagined. That’s why, you’re going to leave her.”

Bucky’s eyes grew wide and he finally let a little of that anger slip as he growled, “there’s no chance in HELL of that happening. I love her.”

“HA! Love. You’re a child. You don’t know what love is. And like all men in this life, the only love you will truly know is power. Now I suggest, you do as Y/F/N just said, and leave her for good. Or so help me god, James Barnes. We will rip your world apart,” your mother threatened. 

The anger was back as Bucky managed to utter, “and how do you expect me to convince her of this? Not sure if you’ve been paying attention but she’s smart, smarter than anyone I know. She won’t believe any lie I try to feed her.”

“Ah, see here’s what you’re going to do, James. You’re going to forget she ever existed. You’re going to lose her number, you and your friends are going to ignore her completely. Block her if you have to. But you will never have any sort of relationship with my daughter again. Do not take my threat lightly, Barnes. I mean it with every ounce of me. I will bring the entirety of the Pierce Army to your door and destroy every one and every thing you have ever loved.”

The ice in your voice was extremely chilling, and in that moment Bucky knew your mother was more serious than he’d ever seen her. But Bucky’s brain was confused and back on the train of betrayal as he thought about you and the now-obvious connections you had with Pierce and how you must have known about this plan for so long, so why would you never tell him.

‘Maybe she was spying, maybe she wants to marry Stinson, maybe she lied to you,’ his brain supplied and before he could shake the thoughts from his head your father was leaning back in his seat, appraising Bucky’s every move.

“Do we have a deal?” Your father’s voice brought Bucky back from the edge. In a minute, he’d made up his mind.

Bucky Barnes fixed your parents with a cold, steely gaze before replying, “Deal. But if you fuck with my family or any of my friends, know that you aren’t the only ones with an army. And that goes for Y/N as well. If I hear one word about how you’ve mistreated her or made her unhappy in ANY way, I will rain hellfire on your entire organization.”

The looks on your parents faces were mixed of light approval and anger as they carefully took in Bucky’s threat, the promise lying clearly in between them, before your father extended his hand to Bucky and the two shook on it before Bucky was shown to the door.

Bucky kept his promise. He stopped talking to you. He made Steve, Natasha and Sam ignore you. He told only Steve, his best friend’s reaction was one of extreme alarm and sadness. Bucky could’ve sworn he caught a smidge of regret in Steve’s eyes over his actions, but he shook it off. Bucky did it for Steve’s own good. For Natasha’s. For Sam’s. For Winnie and George. He never gained any concrete evidence that you had actually been as deeply involved as your parents, but the betrayal still stung ten years later.

But a small part of him still regretted that decision to this day.

taglist:

@youlightmeupfinn

@la-undercover-latina

@niki-is-a-thing

@gloriouspurpose01

@wintasssoldier

@crazyunsexycool

@the-fool-who-jingled

@missvelvetsstuff

@enchantedbarnes

@asoftie4bucky

@theluvcafe

@snufflet

@some-lovely-day

@mochie85

@fangirlvoice

@juulle987

@fab-notfat

@jackiehollanderr

@hallecarey1

@sherlockstrangewolf

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@potatothots

@desert-fern

@dhoruwolfie

@emmabarnes

@sky0401

Bucky’s brain had not been able to get your little stunt from the gun range out of his head as her watched you disappear into the elevator, leaving him with barely a shred of dignity and his tongue practically lolling onto the floor. Being close to you while trying to teach you to shoot and fight, things that apparently you didn’t need teaching- we’ll have to talk to Stark about that later- had put him in a slightly uncomfortable position that may have required him to readjust ever so slightly. But watching you absolutely destroy the target? That had Bucky counting to ten and holding his breath, thinking of baseball and dead puppies to calm down.

He swore he’d seen you flash him a little wink as the elevator doors closed but he shook that off as a little bit of wishful thinking as he finished cleaning up the empty shells and the rest of the training room.

On his way upstairs, Bucky received a phone call. 

“What’s up, Steve?”

“How did the training go?” He asked, his voice teasing as if he knew something Bucky didn’t, causing the latter to stiffen at his best friend’s voice.

“What do you know, Rogers?” “Oh nothing, only that Stark has been bragging about how much he and Happy have trained Y/N for the last couple years…and that she’s probably more deadly than Stark Industries will ever be. Is he right?”

Bucky ground his teeth and scrubbed his hand over his eyes as he let out a sound close to a growl causing Steve to burst into laughter.

“It’s not funny, Rogers.”

“Actually, I think it is pretty fucking hilarious. What happened? She show you up? Kick your ass?”

“She obliterated the damn target and fucking  tried to SING me,” Bucky responded, a smirk growing on his lips as he thought back to his arms around you and the small confident look on your face as you took him on. Was he questioning if he was turned on earlier? Cause there was no question about it.

Steve laughed again, a deep belly laugh that Bucky swore he hadn’t heard in years before he responded, “This is fucking amazing. Here you are thinking you need to be Captain America or some shit and meanwhile she’s fucking Black Widow. Taking care of herself. Gotta give her credit, Buck. She’s always been a goddamn badass.”

The smirk on Bucky’s lips grew into a grin. 

“Yeah, yeah she has.”

A few days passed since the meeting in the training room with Bucky but that interaction was playing on repeat throughout the week as the wedding day loomed closer. You replayed the look on his face as the doors to the elevator had closed and remembered giving in to your ‘inner demons’ and throwing a flirtatious wink his way before quietly cursing and wondering if that was the right thing to do.

Tony Stark had spent the last couple years making sure that you could at least somewhat protect yourself, whether with your hands or with a weapon and you’d never truly appreciated that effort until now. You made a mental note to send Happy a thank you card…maybe including some thank you chocolates as you winced thinking back on how you’d kicked his ass so many times before.

You were dragged out of your memory by a shock of blonde hair leaning in with a drink for you, making you glance into twin blue eyes and a grinning Steve Rogers before he parked himself next to you in the booth.

You and Bucky were a mere two days away from your wedding and while you’d never stated if you wanted a bachelorette party or not, Natasha and Steve had gone out of their way to plan a joint party for you and Bucky. When you’d originally complained about it they said “you're having a party whether you like it or not,” and “it has to be joint because the wedding got moved up…and because it’s safer this way but that’s a minor piece the equation,” and after much begging you relented. Natasha ordered a cap on the number of people entering The Underground and made sure that Thor thoroughly vetted people at the door and before you knew it you’d been whisked away to drink away your cares.

“Heard you handed Bucky his ass the other day,” Steve teased with a waggle of his brows causing your eyes to roll immediately, that action causing him to bark out a laugh. 

“I wouldn’t say I handed him his ass…I’d say that I pleasantly surprised him,” you spoke primly, your hands taking a hold of the drink he’d passed you when he joined and taking a deep sip. 

“More like he dangerously underestimated you. There’s more to Y/N L/N than we thought huh? More than we ever knew,” he spoke pointedly yet softly before allowing the conversation to break between the two of you. Bucky had gone to the bar to talk with Clint about getting more drinks and a few shots and you could still see him talking to the older man from your location. Natasha had disappeared not long before Steve joined you claiming she needed to go do some work real quick. You’d thought nothing of it but now you felt a little alone. Sure Steve was there and Sam wasn’t far off, dancing with someone out on the dance floor, but something was missing. Something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

That is until you saw a flash of familiar red hair, just a couple shades too light to be Natasha Romanoff. And just as your brain made the connection, your eyes widening and mouth dropping, you were bowled over in the booth, your back crashing into Steve’s chest as a body and arms like tentacles wrapped around you from the front.

“Wanda-,” you breathed, tears pricking your eyes as you took in the sight of your best friend for the first time in what felt like forever. 

Wanda’s eyes were also filling with tears but she had a large smile plastered on her face, “good to see you too, bitch. What, thought you could have a bachelorette party without me?” 

Your arms reciprocated the hug immediately as you sobbed into Wanda’s hair, her hand smoothing over your back as she cooed lightly in your ear. 

“Wha-ho-whe-“ you stuttered pushing up to a seated position to allow Steve to move freely when Wanda hushed you, moving a piece of your hair out of your face.

“You couldn’t get married without me, honey. You’ve got someone special to thank for that. Well. Two special someones, maybe three if we’re being specific,” she teased, here attention just over your shoulder causing you to turn around.

Bucky and Natasha stood at the entrance of the VIP section watching you and Wanda with twin grins on their faces. Wanda moved out of your lap, giving you room to stand and make your way over to Bucky. When you were in front of him you gingerly wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into you for a hug before you breathed out your question, “why? How? When?”

He laughed lightly, before pulling away from the hug slightly to answer you. “I’ve been working with my dad to get Wanda out here ever since the wedding planning started. It was one of your conditions and something we promised to try and achieve. Natasha helped me get in touch with her, I paid for the tickets and accommodations, and dad provided the protection necessary to get her here.”

You felt the tears making a reappearance in your eyes, one slowly breaking free and rolling down your cheek before Bucky brushed it away with the pad of his thumb causing you to hastily inhale. “You did all that…for me?”

Bucky nodded slowly, just a small dip of his chin really. “I’d do anything for you. I hope you know that.”

I’m beginning to understand that a little more, you couldn’t help but think as you began to drown in the pools of his eyes, this single act shouldn’t make him hotter but damn it I think it is. You took in a staggering breath before extracting yourself from his arms and hugging Natasha tightly, thanking her for her help in getting your best friend across the country in time for the wedding. 

The night continued, drinks were flowing and Wanda was telling you about how Vis, Tommy and Billy were doing and how everyone missed you but they would hopefully be able to see you soon. 

“We’ve been cleaning and prepping the house, making sure the guest room is ready and everything,” Wanda slurred as the night began to come to a close. Her words gave you pause, you didn’t remember telling her that you were going to see her soon, in fact you weren’t certain you’d be leaving New York for a while.

“What are you talking about, Wan?”

Her body stiffened at the realization of what she’d said and you could practically feel Bucky stiffening on the other side of you.

“Oh shit…I…it’s nothing…just for whenever you can come visit again…you know?” Wanda was trying to talk herself out of the corner she’d drunkenly walked into but you weren’t giving up that easily. You opened your mouth to question her again when you felt the rumble of Bucky’s chest behind you as he spoke.

“I may have spoken with Wanda about visiting her and Jarvis and the boys after the wedding…as part of our…honeymoon.”

Bucky’s words drifted over you as understanding began to take hold in your booze-addled brain. You slowly turned in your seat to look Bucky head on. A warm pink flush was creeping up his neck into his cheeks as he rubbed his neck with his hand nervously. 

You raised a brow before teasing, “a honeymoon, huh?”

Bucky’s flush deepened as he struggled to get his words out, “ I didn’t mean…not like that…it’s more of just a trip…to…get you out of New York for a little…with me…if that’s okay…”

Confusion faded to happiness and the quirked brow turned into an appreciative smile as you spoke softly, “it’s amazing, Jamie. Thank you so much,” as you wrapped your arms around his neck for the second time tonight to pull him into a strong embrace, subtly trying to sneak in a quick inhale of the cologne he was wearing.

As the night ended, Wanda followed you and Bucky home and crawled into bed next to you, even though Bucky had offered up a guest room of her own. As you laid in bed and thought about his actions you couldn’t help but smile. Things weren’t perfect with Bucky Barnes, but you could at least tell he was trying.

“Okay I need somebody to quit sanding in here because this is a wedding not a work zone for fucks sake. Anyone else have dust in their eyes? Or is it just me?” Tony’s voice cracked as he attempted to make a joke while standing before you, decked out in your wedding dress, for the first time. You felt the heat of tears prick at your own eyes before Wanda piped up from behind you.

“No Tony, that’s onions. Somebody is definitely chopping onions right now,” her voice breaking too as she fluffed the back of your dress, Natasha let out a chuckle from the corner of the room where she was watching everything go down while waiting in her bridesmaid dress.

 Pepper decided that was her signal as she cleared her throat and clasped her hands, “okay you three knock it off. We can’t have her puffy eyed and crying as she walks down the aisle. It’s not a good look.”

That tore a laugh from you as you looked into the eyes of the only parents you’d ever need. Pepper’s eyes sparkled with happiness, but there was a hint of fear and sympathy glistening there as well. Tony’s eyes sparkled with tears and a mixture of joy, anger and fear. You all knew the reason behind this wedding.  The circumstances surrounding it led everyone to feel a sense of dread as the day had grown closer but you knew it was for your safety. For you friends’ safety. 

“If you’d told me six months ago that I’d be standing here today and marrying Bucky Barnes, I would have laughed and told you to go get yourself checked out. Never in the last ten years have I imagined I’d be here today. And even though the circumstances behind this marriage are…less than agreeable…I’m happy that I get to have you, all of you,” you spoke to each one of them, “with me today.”

You saw Tony’s chin wobble at your announcement before he steadied himself and cleared his throat, “okay enough with the mushy gushy or I’ll have to get in contact with the building manager and tell them to stop their construction work. This room is dangerously dusty.”

Tony was trying to make you laugh. Trying to get your mind off everything and it was working. For now.

A knock on the door sounded, pulling you all from your thoughts as Pepper walked to open the door. Winnifred Barnes stood at the door, her hand to her mouth in shock as she took in the sight of you before her. It only took her a moment before she was sweeping you up into a hug and whispering in your ear, “you look absolutely stunning, my sweet girl. I am so sorry it came to this.”

Her words made you tear up yet again when another knock on the door from the coordinator stated that it was time. Winnie looked at you with tears swimming in her eyes before giving a squeeze to your hand and following the coordinator down the hall to where, undoubtedly, Bucky and the men waited. You took in a deep breath and watched Pepper, Natasha and Wanda follow them out to line up until it was only you and Tony left in the room.

His hand found yours, giving it a tight squeeze before he offered you his arm and spoke.

“C’mon kid. Let’s knock em dead.”

You heard the music playing, signaling Bucky to seat Winnie, followed by Pepper and Steve, as you and Tony made your way down the hall to await your entrance. The reality began to set in as the music swelled and a bouquet was being thrust in your hands, your dress and veil fluffed as Tony murmured something about killing somebody under his breath, and the next thing you knew the doors were opening to your wedding and standing at the end of the aisle was him.

Bucky. 

Your Jamie.

Your husband.

A moment you’d dreamed of in your younger years was playing out right before your eyes and while a part of you was hurt, sad and betrayed, another part of your heart soared at the sight in front of you.

James Barnes in a tuxedo was one of the best views you would ever see. You were aware of that fact having seen him at a number of benefit galas in your younger years. But James Barnes in his wedding tuxedo, watching you walk down the aisle his lips parted slightly and his gaze burning into your entire body had you almost stumbling in your heels. Tony offered a squeeze to your arm to steady you as the two of you made your way down the aisle. You could feel the burn of his blue eyes as they took in every inch of your body and you could feel your body thrumming in excitement and approval of his lingering gaze, a feeling that you tried so hard to deny.

You came to a stop in front of Bucky, the two of you standing there as if there was nobody else in the room. It wasn’t until the officiant asked who gave this woman to be married that Tony spoke, pulling you out of your tunnel vision.

“Her mother and I.”

Fresh tears sprang to your eyes at Tony’s admission and you could see his doing the same before he leaned down to press a kiss on your cheek and whisper, “you are strong, I love you, I believe in you, I am proud of you,” before offering a handshake to Bucky, not without growling something about murdering the man in his sleep causing you and Bucky to huff out twin laughs before he took your hand in his and led you up the stairs to the officiant.

After handing your bouquet off to Wanda and allowing her to fix your dress, the ceremony began. 

Everything felt like it was going too fast. The venue was dead silent when the officiant asked if anyone objected or had any reasons why you shouldn’t be married. You tripped over your words as you repeated your vows after the officiant and you swore under your breath as you almost dropped the ring before sliding it on Bucky’s finger. 

“And now by the power vested in me by the state of New York and in front of your family and friends, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now seal your marriage with a kiss.”

Your heart pounded in your ears as your eyes caught Bucky’s just before one of his hands slipped to your waist and the other cupped your cheek. He watched you, almost reverently, for just a moment as if he was awaiting your permission. You dipped your chin in approval ever so slightly and his lips were pressing against yours. Your mouths moved in unison as cheers rang out throughout the hall but it was as if he had you under a spell. You couldn’t stop. Bucky Barnes had bewitched you body and soul and in this moment everything felt right. The kiss broke too soon for your liking, a thought that had you questioning everything as your chest heaved to steady your breathing. 

Your mind was still reeling from the kiss as the officiant announced you as Mr. and Mrs. James and Y/N Barnes to your friends and you made your way down the aisle to the reception. Your lips still tingling with the heat of Bucky’s lips on yours.

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“Was anybody hurt?” You asked quietly, watching Bucky’s face for a tell of some sort to see if he was lying. His head shook vehemently denouncing the question which managed to lighten your stomach but only a little. 

“I meant what I said, Y/N. I will keep you safe. And if that means giving my life in the process then that’s what I’ll do.” His words were softly spoken, almost whispered as if he was unsure if you should hear them, and while he probably thought that what he was saying would bring about some sort of comfort it did the opposite.

Your whole body shivered at the thought of James Barnes laying down his life for you. You never wanted that. Never in a million years. And while you understood that Bucky is partially the reason you were in this mess now, you weren’t sure how you’d be able to make it if he gave up his life to protect you. But you didn’t have time to express those thoughts. Those feelings of intense doubt, guilt and fear. Because Bucky was reaching out to your hand pulling you up with him as he stood in front of you. Your breathing was labored, borderline panting if you were being honest, uncertainty filling your veins as you stood in front of the man you once loved and awaited his next move.

You were so sure that he was just going to tell you to go to bed and not worry about what was to come, about what had happened. So needless to say, you were pleasantly surprised when Bucky Barnes wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in for a hug. Your breathing caught in your chest as his smell assaulted your senses, the scent doing its best to drag you back into a time long past where you knew without a doubt that this man was your forever. You only hesitated slightly before wrapping your arms around his waist in response and leaning your head against his chest. The two of you stood there for what felt like hours but must have only been a few minutes. You managed to look up to find Bucky staring at you, a hesitant look in his eyes before he began to lean down to you.

Your heart stammered and your brain was on fire. IS HE GOING TO KISS US AGAIN!?!? WHAT IS GOING ON!! THERE IS NOBODY HERE TO PROVE IT TO. DANGER! DANGER! ALERT! ALERT! 

But he didn’t do that. Instead he touched his forehead to yours and closed his eyes, seeming to bask quietly in your embrace before softly speaking, “sweetheart, you will never know how sorry I am. For everything. For letting you go. For practically casting you aside. For forcing you into this life. I truly hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me one day though I doubt I will ever deserve your forgiveness. If it takes fighting the rest of my life for you to understand how truly sorry I am, I’ll do it.”

You could feel the movement of his lips at the top of your head as he pressed a kiss to your forehead before giving you one last squeeze and pulling away. You weren’t sure what to say, your words had been robbed from you in those last  moments and you merely stared up at him, your lips parting slightly in awe and slightly in fear of the future. He sighed heavily after looking at you, offered a squeeze to your waist and began leading you to your bedroom. Your heart was racing again, uncertainty filling you once again as he opened the door to your room and motioned for you to go inside. Your steps were hesitant but as you turned around you noticed he was still at your door, on the other side at that. Standing in his hallway Bucky leaned against the doorjamb with his hands tucked in his pockets before speaking again, “get some rest, you need it. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

And then he closed the door.

Bucky was gone.

You were alone. Alone with your thoughts. With your feelings. And with a potion of doubt and fear swirling in your stomach.

So you did the only logical thing.

You slept.

The next morning was busy in the apartment. Steve, Sam and Natasha had all shown up throughout the day to talk with Bucky as they planned their countermoves. You did your best to ignore them and focus on the last minute wedding planning, not wanting to know what they planned to do in retaliation. You finalized flowers over FaceTime, you clarified the time and place for the caterers, and you even managed to sneak in a call to Wanda when you needed a little help decompressing. You didn’t tell her everything. She didn’t need to be made aware of what had happened the night before and she certainly didn’t need to know the little feeling that kept popping up in your stomach whenever your eyes met Bucky’s. Hell, you didn’t even want to admit that a part of you was still attracted to him.

How could anyone not be attracted to James Barnes? When you were younger you stated it was scientifically impossible for someone to be unattracted to him. Maybe past you was right.

You quickly shook that thought out of your head as you heard the fading footsteps of the team walk out the front door. Most of the day had slipped away pretty quickly without you realizing and now Bucky was standing in front of you with his hand reached out, his eyebrow quirked at your unmoving body, signifying that he’d probably been standing there longer than you realized. You felt your cheeks warm as you took his hand and asked, “what’s up? Is everything okay?”

Bucky nodded curtly and responded, “I’m going to take you somewhere. With the threat that Pierce and his men pose we need to make sure you’re prepared. We’re not going to leave the building but there is a place for us to practice, if you’re willing?” He said the last part questioningly, as if to give you an out if you really didn’t want to do this. But you’d had enough of the damsel in distress act that you felt like you were giving off. If anyone was going to keep you safe it was going to be yourself. Tony Stark had taught you that. You nodded in agreement and Bucky took you to the back elevator, scanned a card and pressed a combination of floor numbers that took you down, down, down. 

When the elevator doors opened you noticed you were in a training room of sorts. It had been divided into multiple rooms for different purposes but that was ultimately what this space was. Bucky must have noticed the question in your eyes because he spoke as he led you out. “When my father and I bought this building we had this installed. It’s where we train new recruits, can’t exactly do that at a normal gun range or gym, and it’s nice to have a private space to…practice when you’re not exactly the most loved person in all of Manhattan.” He spoke sheepishly as he averted his gaze and rubbed his neck with his hand. When he led you into a room where the floor was covered in padded mats you noticed him taking his shoes off and walking toward the center of the floor before turning to face you as he crooked his fingers for you to go to him. You followed suit, taking off your shoes and walking towards him as you tied your hair up to get it out of your face.

There was a breath of silence before Bucky spoke again. “So, we’re here today to see what you’ve got. What we can improve on. What we can add to your arsenal of self-defense. I remember many years ago working with you on some things and thought, maybe you remembered some of it.” His ears were turning red and you could tell a part of him was a little embarrassed at the memory he was recalling. You smirked at that. You knew what memory he was recalling. You remembered it very well.

Ten Years Ago

“Okay sweetheart, now if someone grabs you like this,” he said wrapping his hands around your waist and pulling you tight against him, practically pulling you into the slow growing erection in his gym shorts, “what do you do?” His words tickled your throat as you squirmed in his arms, knowing the reaction you’d get from him. Bucky groaned in your ear causing you to giggle in return as he pulled you in tighter. “Stop that, you know what it does to me,” he growled causing you to laugh out loud this time.

“Jamie I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you breathed as you leaned your head to look at him, fluttering your lashes flirtatiously, pulling another low growl from his throat as he leaned down to kiss you hard. You reciprocated the kiss as he spun you to face him, slotting his leg into the part between yours that you had unconsciously given him access to. You rolled your body precariously against his legs drawing a moan from both your lips as he squeezed your hips a little tighter. “James Buchanan Barnes this is highly inappropriate, what would society say?” You teased against his lips before a breathy gasp ripped from your lungs as he used his hands to roll your body onto his thigh once more, so closed to where you wanted, no, needed him. You were both a panting mess as you parted, twin smirks on both your lips before you spoke again, “besides, in what world am I going to be attacked by someone grabbing my waist? Aren’t they more likely to like…strangle me or pin my arms or something? This seems like very inefficient training, sir.”

His lips twisted in a larger grin as he pulled you close and leaned down to press a kiss to your lips before growling, “oh I’ll pin your arms, sweetheart.”

You squealed and managed to wiggle your way out of his grasp as you took off across the training room in the basement of the Barnes house to evade your ‘captor.’ You could hear Bucky’s footsteps catching up with you as you attempted to bob and weave but you weren’t fast enough. You never were. He wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you into his arms before effectively pinning your arms to your side and smacking a hard and wet kiss on your lips.

“I love you, Jamie,” you panted into his kiss as he swallowed the words.

“I love you more, my beautiful girl. Always and forever.”

Bucky cleared his throat as his whole face was approximately the same color as a tomato now, he most likely had drifted off into the same memory as you. But before either of you could say anything that would make things more awkward than they were he cleared his throat once more and took a step towards you. Your breath caught before he spoke again, “so. Tell me what you remember or what you’ve learned in self-defense. And we’ll see where to go next. Okay?”

You nodded your head and wracked your brain thinking of all the times that Tony had sent you and Wanda to self-defense classes, or provided them for you himself at the mansion with Pepper. One thing about Tony Stark? He was always prepared. And he wanted to make sure you were as well. A part of you wondered if Bucky was expecting you to use the moves he’d taught you once upon a time, because believe it or not that training session ten years ago had been a little valuable. But you decided to show him something new. You felt the beginnings of a smirk grow on your face as you motioned for Bucky to come towards you.

“Here, stand behind me and wrap your arms around mine. You want to try to capture me, your goal is to immobilize me, okay?”

You noticed something cross his eyes before his own devious smirk grew but he nodded anyways and walked around you slowly, almost menacingly and wrapping his arms around yours holding you in place. He scent almost consumed you yet again but you shook your head and re-focused. You knew what you were going to do. But you were pretty sure Bucky didn’t.

“Okay, so to get out of a hold like this. All I’m going to do…is sing.”

“Wha-“

He didn’t have time to finish his question when you began to move, “solar plexus!” You jabbed him in the gut with your elbow, a surprised grunt coming out of him before you continued, “instep!” You stomped on his foot, causing him to let go of you completely in surprise. You noticed the threads of recognition beginning to form in his surprised eyes but you continued, “nose!” You reached up to try and punch his nose but he was able to calculate the next step and caught your wrist instead, but not before you tried to lift your knee to his groin for the last and final step, causing him to twist away from the line of fire and dropping your hand in the process. You took a step back, grinning from ear to ear as you watched him try to shake off the pain from the solar plexus jab and the instep stomp. Your breathing was a little heavier with adrenaline, his from pain, and that’s when he spoke, albeit a little breathy.

“Miss Congeniality? Really?” He teased but his tone was full of adoration. You merely grinned and shrugged in response.

“Sandy Bullock taught me everything I know.”

A hush fell over the training room, silence engulfing the two of you as you worked to breathe normally again. And then it was full of a deep belly laugh. One that warmed you from the inside out. One that you swore could make the sunshine on the darkest most dreary day. Bucky Barnes’ laugh was like the universal medicine to every ailment. And damn if a part of you didn’t light up at hearing it again.

It was also addictive. And contagious. Because next thing you know the two of you were doubled over in a laughter that was close to becoming hyperventilation. Tears were falling from your eyes as you attempted to recover from the impromptu laugh fest. You both managed to catch your breath but avoided eye contact. You had a history of not being able to take each other seriously after laughing that hard. 

“Okay, what next?” You spoke up first, hoping to get off the mat and maybe even put a little distance in between you and Bucky. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight a little as if he were uneasy about the next step.

“Well, it seems like you’ve had no shortage of hand to hand self-defense lessons in the last decade. But now it’s time to see how you can handle a gun.”

Your body shivered at what he was implying. Without so many words, he’d told you that there could come a time in the not-so-distant future that you’d need to shoot a gun to protect yourself. You merely nodded your head in response and headed off the mat to put your shoes back on and walk towards the gun range you’d seen upon entering the space. There were two targets set up already, awaiting your practice. You focused on your breathing. While you weren’t afraid of using a gun, it had been a very long time, but you weren’t about to tell Bucky that. In fact, a part of you was interested to see how this would go. Interested to see if he knew anything about your time in California other than working for Tony. 

That right there should’ve been a tip. You’d practically been adopted by Tony Stark, his weapons supplier, years ago. While you didn’t know that Tony was the Barnes supplier then you did know how to fire a gun. That was another case of Tony making sure you knew how to defend yourself no matter what. 

Bucky followed you into the range, handing protective ear and eyewear to you as he went to grab the pistol and bullets you’d be using. You were so focused on your breathing that you didn’t feel his presence as he walked up behind you. Your breathing stuttered as you felt Bucky step into your space before reaching around to position the pistol in front of you.

“This is what we’ll be using today. I’ll tell you all the places in the apartment you can find them in case you ever need it. And I always carry one on my person and have one in the car. Nod if you understand.”

You nodded.

He whispered, “good girl.”

You gulped.

He continued. 

“This is how you load it,” he showed you by taking your hand slowly and putting it around his, “make sure the safety is on. Do not turn the safety off until you’re ready.” He spoke right next to your ear and his words were making goosebumps form along your neck and spine. You nodded again. He continued after loading the gun for you. He took one hand off the gun and maneuvered yours so you were holding it, with his clasping around yours to guide you. He continued going slow to teach you the proper way to stand, to hold and when you were ready, he put the protective gear on you and showed you how to pull the trigger. The first time he told you to shoot he stood pressed against your back, taking most of the shock of the recoil with his body practically wrapped around yours.

Your senses were heightened to a level they’d never been before. You could hear every breath he took, feel every swallow, sense every time he ran his tongue over his lips, his nervous habit. After a couple rounds you felt him step back, giving you the chance to do it on your own. You flipped the safety back on before turning slowly to meet his gaze. Bucky was staring at you with what you could only describe as burning hunger blazing in his eyes. You watched him gulp down a deep breath as you made eye contact with him while reloading the gun, not even needing to look at it. You knew what you were doing. And it had nothing to do with what Bucky Barnes had taught you. You walked to the neighboring bay, the whole while maintaining eye contact with Bucky as he licked his lips, the slip of his tongue looked somewhat enticing. NOPE. NO IT DOESN’T. NUH UH GIRLIE. WE ARE NOT DOING THIS TODAY. NO MAAM.

You turned slowly, trying to shake off the burn of his gaze before looking down your new target, getting in position, and unloading the entire gun into the target without hesitation. You admired your work from afar before turning slowly to meet his gaze. You were thrilled with the disbelief in his eyes. His mouth agape and his eyes wide, you turned the safety back on, handed him the gun and walked around to fetch the target sheet. There were a number in the ring just around the bullseye, or what was left of the bullseye. You’d hit it so accurately it didn’t exist anymore. It was completely obliterated You handed the paper to Bucky before taking off your gear and beginning to walk towards the elevator without him.

“Thanks for the lessons, Jamie,” you smirked as you pressed the button for the floor to his penthouse, leaving a shocked Bucky in the gun range with his jaw touching the floor.

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