#bucky!elsa

Elsa looked down in horror as she realized that she had done what she at one time swore she would never do: she hurt Anna. She really hurt Anna.

And Anna thought she was going to kill her.

Before she could say anything, the glass dome underneath them gave, and the floor shattered. Anna fell toward the river down below, as she was too wounded to try and save herself. Elsa, acting out of sheer instinct, grabbed hold of a girder still attached to the ship. She watched as Anna plummeted toward the water, making no effort to slow her descent or make the hit to the water less painful.

And as Elsa reeled from so many things swirling about within her head, one memory shoved itself to the front.

They were kids. She was seven, maybe eight. Anna was five. And they were playing a game. The objective was for one to chase the other, and if they caught them, then the roles would switch. If they couldn’t before they made it to home base, then the person who was being chased won. Elsa always let Anna win, but that didn’t stop the younger, weaker girl from trying to get her big sister to catch her. She didn’t want pity, she wanted fun. So she would purposely climb things, only to ‘fall’ off of them.

Was it stupid? Yes, yes it was.

But she did it all the time anyway. Because all she had to do was yell: “Catch me!”

And Elsa would always catch her.

“Catch me! Catch me, Elsa! Catch me!”

They did so many godawful things to her, but they could never completely destroy her need to protect her sister.

She flipped herself around effortlessly, and the moment her feet touched the girder, she launched herself down toward the river, aiming for the spot where Anna had disappeared under the murky surface. She had no issue diving in - she’d fallen from higher - and in no time found Anna sinking slowly to her demise.

Elsa dragged her sister to the nearest shoreline. There were still so many things flying through her mind. She still didn’t know if she wanted to hug Anna or strangle Captain America. Part of her was telling her to rejoice and celebrate not only her freedom but the fact that Anna was there, too. They both somehow ended up in this new century together, and though they were both pretty beaten up, neither of them was dead. But there was an equally vocal part of her that harshly reminded her that she had failed. She failed her mission. She never failed a mission. If she went back, the punishment she’d receive would be worse than death. It would be worse than reprogramming. The mere thought of it scared the crap out of her.

And…oh God, she was the Winter Soldier. She was Elsa Barnes, but she was also the Winter Soldier. The darker memories of her past were beginning to bubble up - the ones filled with terrified pleas and final gasps for breath and crying and mourning and screams. She killed so many people: with weapons, with her ice, with her hands. She killed so many innocent people and the scary part was that she couldn’t remember feeling remorse for it. She felt it now, but then?

She was a monster. The thing she had prayed she would never become had happened. What was the world going to do to her?

She glanced down at Anna again. She was unconscious, but breathing. Elsa had seen people in worse shape pull through. She wanted to stay with her. There were so many things she wanted to say. She wanted to give her a hug so badly.

But the Solider was telling her to run. Fear was telling her to run. She couldn’t allow herself to be captured, for her sake and for Anna’s. They’d kill her if they caught her. And she sure as Hell wasn’t going back to HYDRA. What they’d do to her was far worse than a bullet to the head.