#bubbles speaks

Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

I love being able to make the world smile! To be uplifting when the others need it and allow us to a happy healthy person together!!!! I love it all so so much!!!!

I want to tell y’all why I am so much less active on this blog, and why the only things I reblog here anymore are about healing and recovery. I am completely outwardly asymptomatic for BPD now, and have been for a few years.

I use the phrase “outwardly asymptomatic” because the BPD will always affect the way that I think, and my initial impulses in certain situations. But, I no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for BPD in the DSM-V. This does not mean that I never had it, I very much did (and still do, in my opinion. Like I said, it still affects the way that I think and internally react to things). If anything, I was a pretty “classic” case of it, meeting nearly all of the criteria.

I want to talk a little bit about my recovery here, and I want to keep posting about it and talking about it. There is so much stigma around BPD, and so much misinformation and misunderstanding around how treatable it is and what treatment is actually like, and I know I can’t fix that all myself, but I want to put my experiences out there in some way, in case it helps even one person.

I can’t sum up my entire recovery in one post. It was, and still is, years and years of work. For now, I think one of the biggest things that I want to tell other actuallyBPD people is this:

When I first started my journey to recovery, I was terrified. I didn’t want to be the way that I was forever, that idea was terrifying. But I also didn’t want to get better, because that scared me, too. BPD was the only thing I knew about who I “really” was, and I was so afraid that recovery would cause me to lose myself and the only sense I really had about myself. That never happened. That fear never came to pass.

I did not fundamentally change as a person from recovery. I did not lose the things that make me me. All recovery did was allow me to start uncovering the things about myself that were always true and I could never see. It was like part of the BPD was this huge buildup of rubble covering my entire self. I thought all that I was was that rubble. But as I started to clear the rubble, I found beautiful things underneath. Things that had always been there, things that the people around me may have been able to see, but that I never knew about because the rubble and debris had been covering it from my sight for as long as I could remember.

↳ currently playing ;;

[get you the moon] - [Kina ft. Snow]

0:56 ——•———————— 3:15

↺ << ll >> ⋮≡

ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ᶠᵒʳ @chxcolxtemilk

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤/𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖

🍡 bubbles, royalty, royale

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝕓𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕙𝕕𝕒𝕪

🍡 august 6th

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝕤𝕖𝕩𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪

🍡 pansexual

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖𝕤

🍡 hoodies, boba, writing, strawberry shortcake, cuddles, pocky

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖𝕤

🍡 racists, terfs, homophobes, the corrupt country that is America, and orange juice.

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕣𝕟

🍡 why does math exist and why am I passing if I suck at it?

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕣𝕟

🍡 why am I still alive if I contribute nothing?

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝕞𝕪 𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤

🍡 tamaki amajiki (bnha), akaashi keji (haikyuu!), illumi (hxh), norman (tpn), mina ashido (bnha), dabi (bnha), shiggy (bnha), toga (bnha), killua (hxh), iwaizumi hajime (haikyuu!), luna lovegood (harry potter), kenma (haikyuu!), shoto todoroki (bnha)

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘 𝕘𝕠𝕒𝕝𝕤

🍡 mainly writing, supporting movements, creating a safe space, getting mutuals

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝 𝕘𝕠𝕒𝕝𝕤

🍡 getting proper mental help, work on myself, get a job

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕞𝕖𝕣 ！！

❥ I stole this idea from @1-800-wholesome, if she wants me to take it down I will.

❥ My friends often steal my account. Their names are Rainbow/Lavender, Sparkles/Iris or Taylor, Sugar Bear/Thailia, and maybe Finn and Carter will log on but they are my bubbles protection squad.

❥ (𝕋𝕎) I have very crap mental health and self destructive tendencies along with bipolar depression, anxiety, etc. so if you see me talk about killing myself, I’m begging you talk me out of it. I want to die but my dad insists he will break down if I do so I do try, but talk me out of it I’m begging you. You can also ignore me, that works too.

❥ I can be a bit bitchy and I’ll have a tag on it, so if you don’t like listening to my shit posts block the tags bubbles speaks, bubbles reads smut, bubbles watches anime, bubbles plushie fam, and bubbles being a bitch.

❥ I call y’all the bubble tea babes cuz I love you all and once you become one there’s no escape.

❥ Just kidding

Long story short art block is a bitch and I’m also currently in between an art style change as I wasn’t very happy with my old one

But anyway the reason I’m making this post is to say that I made a side blog! I swear it’s not another AU (tho I do have some ideas...) but I noticed my main blog here was getting way over flooded with me rebloging shit to the point where i have to scroll for like 15 minutes just to find a piece of art I made 😅

this is our designated hero. see how he falls.

deconstruction of romance; a tragedy in three acts, cut short at its climax

the house is nothing but authorial intent

a moment that comes like a shock-wave, and dissipates just as suddenly

the only choice you could make is watching it or not, but that would never change the fact that the story is already written

these are the lies we tell to protect ourselves

we return to our story, now uninterrupted by splices of emotion

this is the first time the writer acknowledges you as a character