#bubble thoughts

Now I just need to crawl my way out the the reading and show watching slump I'm in

summary: “It’s time for me to go now, baby. I’ll be gone briefly and before you know it, I’m back in your arms”

pairing: ilhoon x reader

genre: romance, soft drabble

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“Are you ready?” I asked, walking up to him from behind while he fixed his black Fred Perry beanie on his head in the mirror. My arms immediately wrapped around his torso, interlocking my fingers on his toned abs before resting my head softly on his back. My heart felt heavy knowing that he will be away for awhile and I’ll be left alone during his absence.

Ilhoon sighed deeply, bearing the guilt that has been bothering him for the past weeks. It was hard for him as it was for me. It took him a few days to compose himself before breaking down the news to me. I knew it was coming in the nearest time being but I wasn’t ready to let him go.

 His hands rested on mine and I closed my eyes, just cherishing this moment with him. I have this habit of spooning Ilhoon from behind whenever he stands in front of the mirror getting ready for whatever occasion. The feeling of resting my head on his back while we sway side by side slowly really has that calming effect on me. It relieves me even more when his hands automatically rest on top of mine act as his natural instinct. The heavy feeling tugged my heart and I took a deep breath before tightening my grip on his torso.

Neither of us said a word. We didn’t really need to. The comfortable silence lingering within the room was too calming for us to say something. In this moment, we just stood there and cherishing the remaining time that was running out.

“I’m sorry I have to leave you like this” Ilhoon apologised. 

He loosened my grip before turning around to face me. With those words left his mouth, tears started to swell up in my eyes and as a reflex I immediately face the floor, not really wanting to make eye contact with the person I love the most in this world because I know I’ll lose it if I look at him. I heard Ilhoon took a sharp breath before taking my hands into his, holding it tightly.

“Look at me, baby. Please” he pleaded. My heart ached more.

“Hey,” one of his hands let go, but still holding my two small hands into his other while his other hand cupped my cheek, slightly and ever so softly tilted my head up so that I was forced to look into his two deep brown eyes, “Look at me, please?”

With tears pooling at the edge of my eyes, I looked at him only to see the rim of his eyes were red. Tears rolled down on his right cheek and I wiped it off with my fingers. Ilhoon leaned in further into my touch which made him cry even more. His lips were trembling with much fear of having to leave me all alone. To see him like this broke my heart to million pieces, I couldn’t stand seeing him cry.

“Say something. I want to hear your voice”

“I’m not ready to let you go” I sobbed. I’m not strong enough.

“I know. I’m not ready to leave you all by yourself, but I need to go. It’s my responsibility” Ilhoon cupped my face with his two hands and I rested mine on his hips, gripping his black long sleeved jumper.

Ilhoon pulled me closer and I melted into his touch in an instant. My head rested on his shoulder while he caressed my hair softly. I breathed in his scent, trying to take everything in before he leaves. My two small hands clutched onto his shirt tightly as if he’d disappear into dust, not caring it’d get crumpled. I just wanted to hold him a little longer than usual.

“Don’t you dare forget about me, okay?” I breathed out. My voice sounded hoarse.

“How can I forget you? You’re always on my mind”

We just stood there in each other’s arms, swaying side by side. I myself wasn’t sure if I could survive without him by my side. It’d be the first time we live away from each other ever since we got together 3 years ago. Even if we had our hardships of fighting, we’d always find our way back to each other.

“It won’t be that long, baby. I promise. I love you so much, you know that don’t you?” Ilhoon asked before pulling away slightly to look at me as he say those 3 little words. I smiled softly at him.

“I know. And yes, I do. I love you so much too, always”

My index finger traced his facial features, drawing invisible lines on his soft cheeks, his perfect nose, his forehead, down to his chin and lastly on his plump pink lips. My eyes fell upon his lips, up to his dark brown eyes then back to his lips, my own way of asking his permission to kiss him.

Without wasting anymore time, he leaned in and our lips crashed for the nth time ever since we started dating. The kiss wasn’t heated but it wasn’t a simple peck either. It was soft and slow, full of passion and meaning. I could feel the love that he was giving through our last kiss we were sharing together. His soft lips molded perfectly together with mine, the familiar feeling that I’ve always loved so much. A slightly salty taste suddenly came in contact and that was when I realised I was crying. Ilhoon pulled away and planted a lingering kiss on my forehead. I’m going to miss him a lot.

“Can you stay strong for me?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Smile, baby. I will always be with you” Ilhoon wiped my tears away with his thumb. I chuckled and smiled softly for him. Ilhoon always has his own way to make me smile no matter what.

“I’ll always be with you too. I’m so proud of you, angel”

“Hey, I was the one who supposed to call you that” Ilhoon laughed lightly. His laugh was like musics to my ears.

“Well, it’s not my fault that you were born on the 4th of October and automatically claimed that nickname ever since then” I joked.

“Still, you’re my angel too” he replied.

A long pause surfaced through the air and we just look at each other one last time. He had to go now. I have to let him go.

“It’s time for me to go now, baby. I’ll be gone briefly and before you know it, I’m back in your arms”

Ilhoon’s soothing words calmed the tugging feeling inside my heart and at that moment, I put my trust in him. He’ll be back soon. 21 months is not that long of a wait anyway.

“I know. I love you so much, angel” I breathed out, trying my best to hold back my tears.

He leaned for another kiss one last time, taking everything in. Somehow I know time will fly away in a blink of an eye and he’ll come back manlier than ever before. It’s just for a brief moment. I just have to be strong for him, whatever it takes.

being the first one to enlist and the first one to discharge, he’s experiencing the void in the group without the members. my heart drops every time he posts pictures of the maknae line and getting all happy, excited, sad and emptiness because he’s experiencing this for the first time, unlike the other 6.

and sometimes i still can’t believe eunkwang is already 71 days discharged from military and that he’s actually here, not going anywhere anymore

I find it laughable that whoever the fxk is in charge of letterboxd or whatever the fact feel completely comfortable asking this ridiculous price just so i can change my movie's poster and get a header. I'm floored

Meanwhile over at serializd:

I am able to make my profile look amazing with colors of my choice and a header of my choosing for FREE, I can even choose my own poster and header for my shows and each individual season is customizable too. It's as simple as that and that's why serializd will always have a stan in me