#btwn

1. Charlie × Alastor

2. Vaggie × Alastor

3. Angel Dust × Alastor

4. Husk × Alastor

5. Niffty × Alastor

6. Sir Pentios × Alastor

7. Lucifer × Alastor

8. Vox × Alastor

9. Velvette × Alastor

10. Valentino × Alastor

11. Rosie × Alastor

12. Carmila × Alastor

13. Zestial × Alastor

14. Zeezi (idk how she's called, the Dino Overlord) × Alastor

15. Susan × Alastor

16. Egg Bois × Alastor

17. Alastor's cane × Alastor

18. Jambalaya × Alastor

19. Alastor's shadow × Alastor

20. Valentino × Vox

21. Mimzy × Alastor

22. Baxter × Alastor

23. Duolingo × Alastor

24. Squidward × Alastor

25. Stolas × Alastor

26. Vox × Valentino × Alastor

"Must I? They're all atrocious - with only one exception - and I don't even know how to begin to decide which one's worse! But very well; I'll do my best. Just know that I absolutely despise nearly all of these.

Vox × Alastor - This is the only of these 'ships' that I find at all reasonable, for obvious reasons.

Jambalaya × Alastor - Based on the definition of a 'ship' that I was given, I don't understand this one, but it's better than anything else on the list.

Alastor's cane × Alastor - I have similar thoughts to the jambalaya.

Alastor's shadow × Alastor - Still better than getting anyone else involved!

Mimzy × Alastor - This would absolutely ruin our friendship because as much as I adore Mimzy, I would not be able to deal with her in such a high dosage. But I do believe looking at this list, that she would be the most open to the idea.

Rosie × Alastor - This is particularly uncomfortable, given the nature of our relationship and how much she reminds me of my mother, and that is the only reason she's not listed above Mimzy.

Niffty × Alastor - Again, I adore Niffty, but not like that. I wouldn't quite say she's like a daughter to me, but it's somewhere close to that.

Valentino × Vox - I cannot tell you how little I desire to see Vox back with the cretin, but it is still better than imagining myself with anyone else.

Charlie × Alastor - At least the relationship would be useful, I suppose.

Vaggie × Alastor - It is getting harder and harder to find any that are less horrible than the rest.

Husk × Alastor - Owning his soul might make it easier.

Carmilla × Alastor - I could perhaps tolerate her.

Zeezi × Alastor - I have nothing against her, at least.

Zestial × Alastor - At least I respect him.

Duolingo × Alastor - This one being nebulous makes me at least moderately more comfortable with it.

Squidward × Alastor - I don't know who or what this even is. I'm just going to assume that it's better than anyone else on the list.

Stolas × Alastor - He's one of the Ars Goetia, correct? I know nothing about him, but I suppose I could make use of the connection.

Velvette × Alastor - She is a petulant child, but I do find her amusing, at times.

Baxter × Alastor - I haven't the slightest idea of who this is, which makes him automatically better than anyone else on this list.

Egg Bois × Alastor - They were rather useful, I suppose.

Susan × Alastor - Ugh, Susan. But she is a fellow cannibal, so she has that going for her.

Lucifer × Alastor - No comment.

Angel Dust × Alastor - I may prefer the porn star to his majesty in general, but I don't think I could stomach a relationship with him.

Sir Pentious × Alastor - I'm not entirely sure why this one puts me off more than the rest, but it does.

Vox × Valentino × Alastor - The inclusion of Vox hardly makes up for the presence of that disgusting moth.

Valentino × Alastor - I may be uncertain about some of the ordering here, but this one is most definitely the worst.

So this is for Vox, Lucifer, Charlie, and Alastor, if you can clue us on anything that might lead to finding out who is the person who owns your soul, that would be great.

Alright, I have thought about it for a while, and I think I finally figured out who owns Alastor soul: Lilith.

Now, what do we know about Alastor? We know Alastor died in between the 1930s. He was Creole, his mother was black and father was white, and given the time, I think we can all figure out that his father was either absent or abusive, but from what Alastor said until now, I think he was absent.

Anyways, after he died, we get told by Mimzi that he starts to grow in power quicker than anybody else, taking over overlords after overlords. And there is absolutely no way Alastor just landed in hell and got granted powers right away. No. I think he either made the deal very soon after he died or even before he died.

Now, why Lilith?

There is an apparent pattern I see between Lilith and Alastor. Lilith fell from heaven with Lucifer, and then she suddenly gained powers and rose Hell to its feet. Sound familiar? Yeah, cause that's basically what Alastor also did. Arrived, rose with mysterious power, and took over a lot of overlords.

I think Lilith also made a soul binding deal cause we know she is a human, and she couldn't gain powers just because wow, she arrived in hell, now she's really powerful! No, she made a deal. And who do I think has to gain from this? Roo. Now, we don't know a lot about Roo, but she was there even before Luci and Lilith fell. Lucifer just set her free. And I think Roo gains more power and more growth with every sinner who joins her down to hell. Maybe Lilith heard a voice who promised to make her powerful, but in return, she gives her her soul and all that, making Roo more powerful.

Also, Alastor said his chain is purple. Idk about y'all, but I don't know anyone else purple and important aside from Lilith. I don't see any purple overlords, and I doubt it would be a random sinner because the person who made the deal with Alastor was powerful. Powerful enough to give him his powers. Someone like the queen of hell because Luci doesn't really care about politics and shit, and Charlie is too pure and cute to do anything that involves owning souls.

I mean, have you seen that every time Alastor walks by, the eyes in the cracks of the walls that are literally everywhere follow him? And when he made the deal with Charlie, he specifically covered an eye up so they couldn't see what he is doing. (I think I have a Pic of it). From who would he be hiding if not from Lilith, Charlie's mom? I think Lilith knows Alastor can worm his way out of this deal by making the right deal with Charlie.

Plus, we see at the finale when he gets his ass handed by Adam that he nearly dies. And he has a breakdown because oh my gawd, he almost died, holy fuck. The thought of dying immediately leads to him talking about his soul and "the constraints of his deal." Now, my question is, why did he immediately think of his deal when he thought about dying? And if I'm right, and his deal is the one who gave him his powers, how is he, fucking Alastor, the guy who would rather die in a fire than lose power, so desperate to get out of his deal, knowing that he loses his powers? Clearly, there's something more here.

I know you all probably do care about him a lot (Lucifer cares about Vox being happy, and Vox is happy with Alastor, so he gotta at least care like 10% too)

Oh, and the fact that he put Lilith at the bottom of his list with no explanation. Like, even at Roo, where he didn't know who it was or Val, whom he hates, he said a few words, but at Lilith? Seems to me like he can't say anything.

—Bird anon

"You need to stop talking about Roo. Lilith would not have made a deal with her. She wouldn't. Lilith isn't a Sinner - not in the traditional sense - her power was hers, I'm certain of that much. And yes, she did gain in power by collecting souls, but that doesn't mean... It doesn't have to be a Sinner that owns Alastor's soul. It could be an Ars Goetia, one of the other Sins - though I find that unlikely - or even a fucking angel. But we do know from answers he's been able to give Vox that his owner is not pleasant. And despite everything, Lilith cares about Sinners. She would treat her souls better than that."

"Luci... did you read that last paragraph?"

"... Oh... We're leaving Charlie out of this. She doesn't even know that someone owns Alastor's soul, and if it's her mother.... Best she doesn't know until we get more information. Alastor! Tell me how you met Lilith."

"When have I ever claimed to have met her?"

"Uh-huh. And how did you meet Mammon?"

"I haven't."

"So, you have met Lilith. Otherwise, you wouldn't dodge the question."

"Maybe I just like keeping you in suspense!"

"Or maybe she's who owns your soul."

"Now, you know I can't confirm or deny that."

There was a shipping ranking that happened (Im gonna ignore Adam, no one cares about adam) and now, we all know Alastor's a petty motherfucker so wouldn't you think he'd have a sort of a grudge to the person who literally owns his soul

"Lilith goes at the bottom."

hm. placing her at the bottom without ANY explanation. That is totally not suspicious. And you could argue that Lilith is well, Lucifer's ex wife but wouldn't he want to place her a bit higher just to get a spite out of him? (or well try to-) and why would he even care that she's his ex wife? like they don't like each other, at all. they are both Vox's boyfriend and it could've been weird but- c'mon at least but her above Lucifer, it doesn't make sense unless you have a personal grudge against Lilith that isn't her being Luci's ex wife "And I don't know who Roo is, apart from being someone Lucifer is rather cagey about, so I'll put them somewhere among the other ones I don't know - perhaps above that Baxter fellow."

Now I know Alastor wouldn't go into much detail about Roo if she owned his soul but- I think that he wouldn't just brush it off like that. I mean... maybe. But the difference between how he answers about Roo and Lilith does make me believe that if anyone, it would be Lilith.

EKHEM. So in conclusion. Lilith owns Alastor's soul and he isn't sneaky about it WHATSOEVER.

BUT HEY THAT'S JUST A THEORY- A- a hazbin sponsored by vee blog theory? . . . way too long. gotta work on that part!

-sane theorist anon

—bird anon

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