#btvs angst

Blind love - Spike x Reader

The demon held her by the throat lifting her up a few feet. Her face growing red, as its flames grew slowly on her face. She begged, but it just laughed. She kicked, but it did nothing. It was significantly stronger than her, and she knew it. She knew she could die at any moment. Now she is stuck flailing in the air, the flames soon covered her vision, and a guttural screamed ripped through her body. Suddenly she dropped to the ground. She could hear water splash around her.

"Y/n!" It was Buffy, "Spike, over here!" She called, and suddenly she was waterboarded in cold water. As she gasped for air, "sorry love guess I should have given a heads up." Spike mumbled, "you think!" She shrieked drying her eyes. When she opened them, she was met with darkness. She sat there stunned, silent, blinking, rubbing her eyes. "What?" Buffy asked helping her off the dirty ground, dusting her off. She could feel her cheeks get hot, and the tears brim her eyes.

She could feel the tears slide down her cheeks. "I can't see." She uttered, ever so softly. The two watch her in horror, as she sobbed. She held her hands out, a delicate hand took one, and a bigger calloused one took the other. "Were here, we'll figure this out." Buffy mumbled, mostly to Spike as they looked at each other hopelessly. "We have to bring her back to Giles. Perhaps he has a tea for this or something." Spike mumbled, putting his hand on Y/n back rubbing it comforting her. Buffy nodded, and Spike sighed. "Alright love, I'm going to pick you up and were going to Giles."

Gently and hesitantly, he picked her up. His hands under her knees, his at her back and her arms wrapped around his neck. She laid in the crook his neck, with a hurt heart. "Everything will be alright." He mumbled, before he continued. As they walked to Gile's house Buffy can't help but notice how gentle Spike is being with her. How the hand on her back would travel to her arm, when they would pass more uneven ground. Or the way he would whisper to her.

Spike didn't knock when entering Gile's house, he just kicked in the door. "Giles! Where are you!" He ran in crossbow in hand ready to shoot. "Bloody hell, what is wrong with you!" He was about to berate the three until he saw the desperation in Spikes eyes. "What's happened?" He asked his voice quiet not wanting to know. "She can't see, the damn thing burned her eyes!" Spike yelled holding her tighter as she whimpered. "I have a spare bedroom, down the hall second on your right. Put her there. I'll prepare things here to start the healing process."

Y/n head raised slightly from Spikes neck, "I can be healed?" Giles nodded then coughed remembering himself. Earning a glare from Spike. "Yes, but I'm afraid it will take a few days for it to be completely healed." She smiled and hugged Spike tightly, "I'm going to be healed!" He didn't really know why, but he hugged her back. He like hugging her. He liked having her in his arms. Spike walked her down the hall, as they walked the smell of lavender, and old books fill the air.

He lays her down on the bed, under the covers, the soft fabric relaxing every tired muscle. The lavender is mixed with cigarettes and pine. She could feel Spike take her hand his calloused thumb rubbing small circles on the back of her hand. She held his hand tightly "Everything will be alright, right?" She asked, her voice barley a whisper. "Of course, you heard what he said. You'll be back to your old self in no time. What if it doesn't work?"

"Don't think like that." Spike sternly muttered as Giles called him from the other room, and he mumbled he would be right back. She hates this. She can't see and now she can hear everything. It feels that way anyway. The way the water drips from the faucet, the way the talk about measurements of medications. Soon cigarettes drift in and she asks "Spike, is that you?" She could hear his boots on the hard wood. "It's me love; don't you worry. I need you to take this ok?" He took her hand and placed in it a cup instructing her to drink it.

She stayed in bed for two more days with slight progress she could see light. Spike stayed by her side for all of it. Talking to her and telling her stories, she would listen as he would write his poems. Falling asleep to the rhythmic of the pen to paper. A few more days go by, and she can see shapes and Spike is more than pleased. Although, he can't help himself but feel a slight sense of guilt. Guilt at the fact that he doesn't want her to get better. Not that he wants her to be blind. He just wants to be with her.

She woke up one morning turning over to the sound of his pen. Opening her eyes, and Spike sat there with his head in his journal. She stared at him with teary eyes. His beautiful, slicked back hair was disheveled, and his jacket had been thrown. "Spike?" She asked, and he looked up with a small smile. "Yes love," and they locked eyes, "I see you."

tw // blood

Warnings - none

Part one here - Get Well

Spike sat Y/n down on the couch and scurried around his crypt. He pulled his blanket off his bed and draped it over her. Sitting down with bottle of gin in hand. "Here take a swig of this it will warm you up." She hesitantly takes the bottle and takes a small sip, and cringes at the taste. She shakes her head in a disidentified manner, he watches her adorningly. A small smile tugged on his tight lips.

"I'm sorry that is not for me." She admits sheepishly, "I can tell." He mutters, taking the bottle and taking an unfazed sip. They sat in a comfortable silence, Y/n looked around his crypt. Cozying herself further into his blanket. He sat back and just watched her, in contentment. It was small moments such as this he relished with her. Small moments that were always interrupted.

"Your starring" she quietly noted, sitting up a bit more as he scooted closer. "I always stare at you. I can't help it." She looked down hiding her blushed face. "Why did you do all this pet?" He asked titling his head to look at her. She thought for a minute trying to find the right words. "You have been avoiding everyone for weeks. That is a long time to be in your own head. So, I thought you could use a care package to show that I care. To show you're not alone."

Spike tilted her head up looking deeply into her eyes, and it was as if something clicked. It felt as if their souls were reconnecting, dancing together as they silently starred at each other. "In all my two hundred years I have never met someone like you." His eyes flicking from her eyes to her plump lips. He holds the corner of her chin, leaning down slowly. "Spike?" She whispers, "I don't want to take advantage of you." A small chuckle vibrates to her lips. His eyes flick to hers.

"How would you be taking advantage pet?"

"You have been very upset lately, and maybe you see something nice and you doing something you might regret later." He tilts his head, and she follows his movements. Like a mirror. "I won't regret it. Will you?" She shakes her head lightly, "no." She mumbles. "I just don't want to be a stress reliver. Spike I have had feelings for you for a long time now. I don't want something you don't."

She looks at him hesitantly, but he looked at her with such certainty. "Oh, Y/n only if you knew how much I think of you." He leaned in and kissed her with such adoration. Such certainty, with is much passion it was taking the air out of her lungs. He snaked his arm under the blanket around her waist. He brings her on his lap, the blanket draping on them cascading down the couch.

Warnings - violence, talks of death, mental health, needles, angst, fluff.

This Idea came from a @mewmewgirl101 - Mewmew and I had a great talk, about ships and they threw me a fun fic idea. I had so much fun writing this, and I hope you enjoy.

Y/n walked down a narrow hallway, the dark shadows etching closer and closer. Her heartbeat runs as if a jack rabbit. A red door meets her, she opens it a satisfying creak echoes through the darkness. Suddenly she is tied to a hospital bed, looking around frantically. Her family sits in the corner watching her.

"Buffy! What's happening!?" Buffy her sister sits and cries in her mother's arms. "Guys!" She struggles against the restraints dark shadows all dance around her. "It's alright little one we just want to make you feel better." Giles appears through the shadows a needle in hand. "Giles! Get me out of here!" She sobs the needle coming increasingly closer to her. "Please!"

"Doctor, would you be so kind as to hold her still?" He asks sweetly, A familiar hand lands on her shoulders. Holding her arms down, she looks at him frantically. "Spike! Thank God, get me out of here!" He silently holds her down. "Spike!? Please, this is wrong! It's wrong!" She fights as hard as she can, but she can't deny her muscles are growing increasingly weaker. "No!" She screams as Giles punctures her with the needle.

"Spike, please get me out. I'm begging you. I love you, just please help me." She meekly begs her breath is slowly her chest tightening. "You are in Sunnydale Asylum; my name is Doctor William Pratt. You are Y/n Summers. Your family grew worried for you now were here to help." He answered calmy, her eyes grew wide, her heart ached. "No, you're not! You are a vampire! She is the slayer! He is the watcher! You are the love of my life. I love you spike please." She begged tears streamed down her blushed cheeks.

He leaned in closer whispering in her ear maliciously, "I could never love someone like you."

"No."

"You're beneath me." He growled in her ear and started to choke her. "Sp-" her vision started to go black. Her lungs burned a loud banging came from the red door. The world fading.

*Spikes Pov*

I through myself at the door, Y/n's screams echo through my memory. I kick it in, and Y/n is being choked by me? No, were Y/n nightmare. I tackle him pushing him against the wall. I "You bastard!" As the other version of me and I fight the shadows prance around us laughing. All chanting the same thing, "She's dead, your too late." Buffy could end this anytime. I'm not picky, just kill the bloody thing! As I get flung at a wall everything starts to fade. We were suddenly outside the bronze. Y/n lying on the ground. "No, Y/n!" I scream running to her and holding her on my lap. My chest and throat tighten. My face goes hot as I sob into her neck. "Please, it wasn't real. You're ok, it wasn't real. I didn't say that." I keep repeating it over and over again.

Buffy and the scoobies all run toward me stopping a few feet from us. All look at her gutted. "Y/n!" Buffy yelled starting to run toward her Xander holds her back. As she sobs falling to her knees for her sister. I hold her tighter. "Spike?" A honey voiced mumbled. Just loud enough for me to hear. I pull back stunned; she opened her eyes staring into mine.

"Is it really you?" She asks her delicate whispers bring strings of relief to me. "I'm here. I got you."

Warnings - fluff, if you squint angst, sad spike

Part 2 - Get Well

Spike has not been himself lately, and the reason why was a mystery to almost all who knew him. All except one, one of the only people who gave a damn about him. Y/n walked through the pitch of night in the stormy weather. The only thing illuminating her path is lightning and dim streetlights. A stake in her belt and an umbrella in one hand and a basket in another.

She trudged through the cemetery knowing that something is obviously watching her. through the years she has grown not to be afraid of the things that go bump in the night. She closes her umbrella once she enters the threshold and confidently knocks on his door. There was no answer, she knew this would happen. He has promptly been ignoring everyone and everything for weeks. "Spike!? Spike its Y/n!"

Spike stood in front of the unopened door hesitantly, he didn't want her to see him like this that is for sure. His face is stained with tears, and his hair a mess. He looked terrible and he felt terrible, but the idea of making Y/n upset, upset him. "It's ok, I am just worried about you is all! I promise I don't want anything!" She waited patiently for a few seconds. "That's ok, I'll just leave your get-well package here and you get it when you're ready!"

His chest and cheeks started to warm at this. Y/n was the only one out of Buffy's group of marry men who Spike didn't feel hated by. He opened the door right as she turned to away with her head down. She turned anxiously toward the vampire holding out the basket for him. He takes it gingerly as he looks inside. The storm started to get worse, lighting and thunder were dancing together in the sky, but they played it no mind.

Spike blushed at the contents of the basket; he was almost speechless. "What is this?" He asked not even looking up at her still staring at his gift. "It's a get-well basket, I put everything I thought you would enjoy in it." She etches closer carefully, so he doesn't get spooked. Inside was a bottle of gin, a pack of smoke, poems book, and a little card that he was honestly too scared to read. He brought together his composure and set the basket down. "Why would you do this?" He sounded dumbfounded, no one in two hundred years has ever gotten him a gift.

He honestly forgot how your supposed to react. She looks down bashfully plating with her fingers. "It's the anniversary of you being turned into a vampire. I just thought that that could be tough, so I made a get better basket. Just something to tell you that you have someone in your corner is all. Sorry if-"

"Don't apologize," He held her up lightly and brought her chin up to look at him. He whispers just loud enough to hear, "Thank you." They smile at each other. Getting lost in the thought of one another. Looking deeply into each other's eyes. "Your shivering pet, come on let's get you inside." He wraps a hand around her shoulders and picking up the basket and brings her inside.

warnings - depressed reader, talks of suicide, mental health.

She walked aimlessly through the park heading to a house she doesn't like to call home anymore. The sun long gone, and the only ones awake are the things that want to hurt her. She doesn't give much mind toward this however, because if she is being honest with herself, it would not be a bad thing necessarily. She would probably help more if she was not here. She wouldn't burden her friends, her family well what is left of it.

She stops to gaze at her house. It loomed over her as if a challenged to walk inside. A challenge to walk inside and not cry, walk inside and be happy. It's a challenge she feels she would lose. She sits on the steps of the haunting house and cries. She has done this a lot lately and she hates it. She cries as if the world is ending, and she is the one that caused it. She felt utterly alone, alone and she felt she deserved it.

Spike has been watching from a distance since she left the bronze. He often did this; he wouldn't call it stalking just making sure she got home safe. She is his favorite Summers. She is the only one that hasn't tried to kill him. She in his opinion is the kindest summers. He never thought that she deserved this. He never thought she should have gotten dragged into this. Yet here she sat crying her pretty eyes out. Wasting her breath on people who don't appreciate her like he does.

"Oh gorgeous, what did they do to you?" She wipes away her tears as he struts closer, his heart breaking with every second. "Hey, Spike I didn't see you there. How are you?" Her voice was dripped sorrow and honey. Ignoring her question, he goes and sits next to her and snakes an arm around her waist bringing her to his side. "What happened pet?" He asks her intently, "I um, well It just Buffy and I got into a small fight that's all."

He chuckles lowly at her underestimation, "Gorgeous small fight doesn't end with you sobbing on the porch. What did she say?" Her eyes tear up again as she looks into the oceans, he called eyes as she contemplates if she should open up to him. "Would it be so bad if I wasn't here. If I came out on patrol one night and didn't come back?" She asks simply there was no emotion in her voice, and it gave Spike shivers. "Yes."

"Why?" He looks at her as if she just gutted him, honestly, she has. She swept the rug right out from under him, and he feared her words. "Why? Y/n if you were gone and I mean really gone, I would never forgive you." He says honestly, she faces him fully the hand that was around her waist now on her thigh drawing circles. His other hand holds the side of her face firmly. Tears brimmed his eyes as hers as already fallen. The air stills and suddenly they were the only ones left on Earth.

"If you leave me, or even think about leaving me my heart would break." He whispers his voice breaking slightly. "Why? I don't do anything but cause trouble. I am no help to anyone. I don't matter." He kisses her between the eyes gently, leaning his head on hers. Both of their eyes close basking in the feeling of each other's arms. "You my dear are a walking poem. I see you every day and you are the only reason why I don't just go. I would stake myself if you ever made you feel like this. You are what makes life bearable. I don't know what Buffy said, but she has had a stick up her ass for weeks now. Please don't leave me." He emphasizes earnestly.